Spongebob Jokez

Batcat(s)

au where Jason stays with Talia and Damian after being resurrected because he’s gone slightly insane and wants to commit murder and Talia is having none of that, nope, gonna convince child to stay at my side until the Pit wears off, Ra’s be damned.

fast forward a few years, Jason has mostly chilled out, though is still down to murder criminals. He spends most of his time annoying the hell out of Ra’s and sometimes running missions behind Ra’s back for Talia. He’s basically Damian’s older brother. Probably goes by either Jay or Jace, but Damian at least is aware that his full name is Jason since he’s heard Talia use it. Jason has thought about letting the bats know he’s alive, but always backed out.

then Talia sends Damian to live with Bruce. Jason is often away on his own by this point, for missions or just because he wants to travel, and isn’t there when this happens. 

now, Damian is an absolutely brat, and everyone immediately is like “WHY ARE YOU LIKE THIS.” they’re going through the house and Damian is making snotty comments about everything when suddenly he freezes, surprising everyone. He squints at a portrait on the wall.

“…who’s that?” he asks slowly.

Bruce stiffens.

“Ah, that’s… Jason. Jason Todd. The second Robin. He… died, a while ago,” Dick explains with a sad, faraway smile.

“…..riiiiiiight,” Damian says slowly. Suddenly a whole lot of things make sense – he knows Jay came back from the dead, but he doesn’t know how Jay and Mother knew each other. “If you’ll excuse me. I need to make a phone call.”

He sprints out of the room.

(Talia, for the record, definitely knew this was going to happen when she sent Damian to Bruce.)

Two weeks later Damian tows a reluctant young man with black hair into the Batcave, trailed by an astonished Alfred.

“Damian!” Bruce says, horrified. “You can’t just bring strangers into the Cave! It’s completely irresponsible, do you have any ideas what the consequences could be for us-”

There’s a crash, and they all turn to stare. Dick is staring at Damian and the newcomer, stunned, his chair lying sideways on the ground. “That’s impossible,” he murmurs, voice shaking. “You’re –”

Damian rolls his eyes. “Jace isn’t a stranger, Father. He’s my brother.”

“Brother-?” Bruce turns to look at the man, and promptly drops the files he’s holding.

Jason Todd smiles nervously at him. “Hey, old man. Long time no see.”

EDIT: I have more! Check out Way Too Many HCs I Have for this AU because it’s pure fluff and I’m living for it at the moment

EDIT 2: This au is now called “Remained”! All posts for to it can be found at the “remained au” tag.

laundry days are the quietest days in the noceda household . therefore, camila’s favourite days . sequel to this

I personally choose to believe that the Hunger Games series is supposed to be Katniss's memoir/way of setting the record straight about her and her loved ones part in the Games/war. Meaning I think the entire country of New Panem was going into a FIT with every new chapter they read, let alone book. Just imagine the podcasts for a second.

"SO THE STAR-CROSSED LOVERS OF DISTRICT 12."

"YEAH."

"FATED SOULMATES."

"DESTINED TO BE TOGETHER."

"Role model for all of our relationships, I think it's safe to say."

"Mmhmm."

"It was a SURVIVAL STRAT????"

That baby reveal??? Had the country in SHAMBLES when they realized Peeta was lying. Her editors probably told her to just keep that out and she probably just said "why?? I have actual kids now, it's fine." The tabloids are blowing clear the fuck up all day every day. Peeta's hijacking??? People already knew but they didn't know EVERYTHING. God, those podcasts were LIT.

just a thought but if the next game is following atreus in egypt, you’d think his new weapon would be a pair of khopesh. wouldn’t that be cool?

came across this really tender joe bowler illustration the other day, and i couldn't resist?? i was compelled.

(click image for better quality)

Everyone, including the birds in question, call Batman's cape "the bird cage."

His birds will just walk up to him and say "bird cage?" and he'll open up his cape and let them hide, if they bother to say anything at all.

----

Red Hood, grumbly:..... Bird Cage?

[Bruce, fighting back both tears and a giant grin, opens up his cape just enough for Jason to squeeze in]

Dick, muffled, from under the cape: Aw, little wing, it's good to see you in here again!

Tim, also muffled: I'd appreciate it if you'd get off my foot though, before you break it, Brick House.

Jason, now muffled as well: Oh waaah, baby bird, your hollow little bones too fragile?

Ollie:.... How many of them are under there??

Bruce:....All of them.

Barry: How?!

Bruce: You're asking me like I'd know. I stopped questioning it. They won't tell me.

B : *contemplating using physical force to get information out of A*

A : *not looking up from whatever their doing* I know what your thinking. And if you try it, your health bar is gonna be so low your going to need more then just 3 strong healing items.

I’ve said this on twitter before but I’ll say it again here: it would be EXTREMELY funny if Rex, Ahsoka, and Bo-Katan meet again post episode IV, specifically in the Mandalorian era.

Ahsoka: You lost the Darksaber again?

Bo-Katan: [has been hiding the fact she did lose the Darksaber the 2nd time but by the gods has she been trying her best to keep that from Ahsoka] How—

Ahsoka: Rex told me. Sabine gave it to you and you lost it. How’d that happened, Bo? There were no evil ex-Sith Lords to steal it from you again, and you lost it?

Bo-Katan: I didn’t lose it—

Ahsoka: Then, how did Din get it?

Rex: Who’s he?

Ahsoka: The new Manda’lor

Bo-Katan: He is not the new Manda’lor—

This is the day Bo-Katan was reminded that these two might be dangerous on their own but together —Clone War vets who have been working together for almost 30 years and are basically each other’s persons— they’re a bunch of lethally dangerous assholes.

Okay, yeah, so maybe Bo-Katan did lose the Darksaber, but they didn’t have to be insufferable about it. They’re so annoying, honestly. They’re beginning to sound like Boba, and it doesn’t help that Rex shares the same genetic gnome with the dude, like ugh.

Rex: Oh yeah, I know he rules Tatooine. I visit him sometimes to make his life a mess, like he did when he was little and decided to be a little brat to us on Kamino.

I didn’t think much of this other than Bo-Katan drops over to Rex’s house before that because she knows Ahsoka’s there but walks in on them being like. old people sappy.

Bo-Katan: [watches them] I see you two have gotten… close

Ahsoka: [slow dancing with Rex around his garden] What of it?

Rex isn’t exactly young anymore, but he has his own house to retire and all, so Ahsoka drops by once in a while to spend some time with him and do all the nice things they wouldn’t imagine doing since they’ve been in too many wars one went through a lifetime, so forgive her if she’s enjoying herself, Bo.

Maybe you should join them, listen to the music coming out from the clanky old radio, breathe in the fresh air. Take a nap maybe, since you look like the last time they’re about to take over a whole planet.

Wha— you’re going to Mandalore again? Why?

To help Din? That’s a first. No, we’re not making fun of you, it’s just that you hate the guy’s guts, and usually, you’d die for that Darksaber if it means getting it from him.

You want our help to get him around the sewages? But you’re going to be there though, why won’t you do it?

You’re going there first. To wait for him. While the Manda’lor himself is somewhere around the galaxy doing. Whatever. Can’t you just look for him and then you go together?

Bo-Katan: [feeling a headache coming along] I have other business to look into, will you help me or not?

Rex: [taking a tray of freshly baked bread out of the oven] Nope. Permanently retired, remember?

Ahsoka finally agrees to follow Bo-Katan to Mandalore and Rex gives her a little kiss goodbye and saying things like, “Make sure there aren’t any old ghosts trying to kill you.” and “If you need help, just tell me, and I’ll go.”

Bo-Katan: What happened to retiring?

Rex: [gives Ahsoka a Keldabe kiss]

Bo-Katan: [full of heavy judgement] Forget I asked.

sometimes I think Katniss only had kids after 15yrs cuz that was probably the age Prim was when she died…