Je T’aime.

EN MASTERLIST ( ◞◟)ᶻ

GROUP WORKS !

LEE HEESEUNG | 이희승

1:20

PARK JONGSEONG | 박종성

in a good way

falling asleep with him in his gaming chair.

PARK SUNGHOON | 박성훈

how to disappear

popular boy loves his quiet girl.

KIM SUNOO | 김선우

fever

you take care of your boyfriend when he hides his fever.

YANG JUNGWON | 양정원

birthday

waking jungwon up to say happy birthday.

NISHIMURA RIKI | 西村力

be my valentine?

brief summary . . a valentine festival was announced and yn made it her plan to get her long time crush, yang jungwon to be her valentine with the help of his best friend. but, does it work out?

mess

riki creates a mess when he tries making cupcakes for your birthday.

© eulris!

all for the sake of throne — psh (m)

pairing: king!sunghoon x queen!reader

genre: explicit, royalty au, marriage au, not minor friendly

synopsis: as a king, sunghoon was perfect. He was intelligent, kind, confident — basically everything a woman would want, not to mention how great he was in bed as the cherry on top. But why did his wife seemed to disagree? Did she really hate him or was it all an act? Sunghoon didn’t know, but he was for sure sick of hiding his feelings.

warnings: dom!king hoon, he’s a little annoying but in a hot way, lovers in denial, hint of e2l, small plot, bathtub s*x, unprotected s*x, mentions of kitchen s*x, cute love confession at the end, this is mostly cute imo

word count: 2.7k

note: this is practically my version of the even days on Queen Charlotte, enjoy 🫰🏼

Let’s get over with it, you thought to yourself, standing before the glorious gates of the king’s room as you pushed them open, walking inside with a confidence that was half fake. 

You did not like doing this, not one bit, yet you weren’t given the luxury of making your own decisions. 

After all you had one task — birthing a new heir for the throne, it couldn’t be that hard now could it? 

However it was, it really was hard with a person like him — with a person who’s not only a know it all but also as stubborn as a goat. 

Gosh, he was so annoying with his stupidly handsome face and no, you did not care if it was a treason to call him that. 

But the hardest part wasn’t the fact that you had to perform the “marital act” with him every other day on even days of the week, it was the fact that you had to hide that you actually liked it and that you were not being pretentious. 

Why the hiding, you wonder? Because he was a jerk, a great king for his nation, true, but a trashy husband to you. And if you were supposed to age together, he had to improve, whether he liked it or not. 

Which was why you were determined to get on his nerves just as much as he did to yours, thinking that it could make him question his perfect self, maybe for the sake of his marriage. 

And well, given that he also was tired of hiding his feelings for you, that sly plan of yours seemed to have hope. 

“We’re supposed to spend the night together.” You said as you stood before the bathtub that Sunghoon, who happened to be the mentioned king and husband, was bathing in, “It’s an even day today.” 

Oh yeah, right, even day, he thought as he eyed you up and down, lips curling up to a smug smirk which dictated the fact that he liked your nightgown. 

You looked astonishing, just like how you always did. 

It was really a shame that he won’t be telling you that though, since you were treating him as if he was your enemy ever since your first morning together, making him wonder what he did so wrong. 

I mean, you were newly wedded, both of you had given consent for this marriage so what was the issue? Why were you so mean to him? 

He honestly didn’t have a clue, but it was true that his patience was running out thanks to you, and your cute little grumpy face. 

“Leave us.” He ordered at the young man, his servant, who was standing by the door. 

As the young man followed his command, you slipped out of your slippers, trying to untie the knot above the tiny buttons of your gown to take it off of you, but failing miserably despite your continuous attempts. 

“Just get in.” Sunghoon bluntly spoke, eyes looking somewhat amused as he laid in the tub clothless, his muscular body full on display before you. 

Yes he was unbearable as a person, but let’s be honest, he was hot as hell — maybe even hotter thanks to his cockiness. 

Without rejecting, you did as you were told, stepping inside the warm water, letting it wet the long skirt of your gown as you kneeled in between his legs. 

He didn’t resist your touch once you wrapped your arms around his neck to pull him closer, lips resting merely an inch away from each other as you both sighed with expectation. 

He was the one that closed the unnecessary gap, pushing his plump lips that you secretly really liked kissing on yours. 

You leaned over as you kissed him back, placing your legs on both sides of his thighs, letting him pull you on his manhood with the grasp he had on your waist. 

He was eager, so eager, and why did you enjoy that? 

It felt like you were both in a rush to feel each other, almost as if you were doing this out of love and not because you were forced by the elders, aka his mom and her useless council of lords. 

Well, calling this love would be bold but one thing was for sure, and it was that no power in the world could force either of you into doing something you didn’t like. 

So yeah, despite the fact that none of you admit it, the even days of the week were for sure your favorite. 

The way you both hissed once his tip brushed over your entrance was a living proof of that as you broke the kiss for a brief second, wanting to take a look at his handsome face. 

He was frowning, biting his lips as you sank down on him, taking him more and more gradually until there was nothing left outside. 

Ugh that feeling — the feeling of him filling you up to the max, it was freaking perfect. 

His hands were now roaming on your body, caressing your back and playıng with your breasts over the thin fabric that weighed on you. 

He groaned once you started to rock your hips on his, digging his nails into your skin almost as if he was trying to leave a mark behind. 

The way you squeezed him tightly with your warmth was one thing, he was in love with it, true, but what drove him insane was the look on your face — the look of pure pleasure as you began to ride him, mouth gaping open to leave the most beautiful whimpers he has ever heard. 

Ugh seriously, how dare you could be so attractive when you were so rebellious? He couldn’t stand that, you know? 

You truly deserved a punishment for that, queen or not. 

Placing both hands on your hips, he led you into a faster pace, all the while sneakily making his way back to your lips, enclosing them with his needy ones. 

God he hated you, he hated to feel so needy for you, he hated the fact that he was burning for you while you treated him like shit, causing him to go mad all alone with the thoughts of you spiraling inside his mind. 

But he loved you, he loved you so much that he was enduring it for you, pretending to be okay with it all — pretending to be only doing this for the sake of the throne. 

Whereas he didn’t even care for an heir, not a single bit, no, he was just lying to not give you the upper hand. 

Because how could he just confess his wild love for you when you were complaining about how bothering it was to have him breathing in the rooms of your palace just the other day? 

Yeah, it was true that you made up for yourself after that with how you let him fuck you on the dinner table but let’s be honest, it was still really rude, even for you. 

He couldn’t just forget about that, could he? 

But honestly, he sort of really wanted to, especially when all he cared about was the way you made him feel every time he touched you, every time he made you his and every time he filled you up with his seeds — just like how he was about to do right now. 

“Close,” you mumbled, arching your back as you let your head fall behind, your lips separating from his to expose more of your gorgeous neck for him, “I'm close, do not slow down.” 

He scoffed, speechless at the audacity you had then again. You were giving orders to the king himself without a single care in the world, surely you were a mad woman, maybe as mad as him even. 

Or maybe you were his perfect match, just like his servant pointed out the other day. 

Giving a light squeeze to your buttocks, he trailed his hands on your body, reaching to your neck to wrap his hands around it. He didn’t forget to fondle your tıts on his way there, loving the way they were perfectly fitting in his palms. 

After his long fingers were placed tightly around your throat, he pulled you down, speaking against your lips before he kissed them, “You can be a lady for once and ask for it kindly, you know,” he whispered, sarcastic with his tone, “it won’t kill you, I promise.” 

“Please,” you replied, which was enough to surprise him as he froze in his spot, suddenly gulping down was an unmanageable task at the sound of your whiny request, “just don’t slow down, please.” 

Shaking his head, he tried to break the spell you just unknowingly casted on him, “See,” he cleared his throat, pretending his best to seem unbothered, “it was not that hard now, was it my queen?”  

“It was, actually,” you disagreed, pecking his lips with a shit eating grin on your face, “my heart almost stopped as I was saying the p word, my king.” 

He giggled, biting his lips as he moved closer to give you a proper kiss, his tongue melting on yours once he poked it inside your mouth.

Although the conversation between you could be called cute, his thrusts and his kisses couldn't be included in the same category. 

Guess he isn’t such a gentleman when it comes to making love, you thought, secretly enjoying this side of him. 

And by the passing second, he only became more and more aggressive, the pressure in between your legs increasing a crazy amount with every push of his hips. 

“Sunghoon ..” you called out for him in between sloppy kisses, struggling to keep yourself on your knees with the way they trembled. 

“I know, do not worry,” he whispered, feeling the same way as you, desperately craving his high, almost like a teen boy, “I won’t stop until you’re there, I promise.” 

And oh dear God, the list of things that he could sacrifice over the way you kissed him right now, it had no limit. 

This was the first time he’s seen you being so needy, so passionate and so defenseless with him that he couldn’t help but to wonder if the whole “I hate your existence” thing that you got going on with him was fake. 

Perhaps you were pretending just like him, but what for?

Now that he thought about it, maybe he hasn’t been a good husband to you and maybe — that was the reason behind your small riots. 

If that was the case, then there was hope for your marriage, which without a doubt was all he asked for.

For sure you had your reasons to be beefing with him, I mean he had many faults towards you — like leaving you all alone at the first night of your marriage just so he could ‘observe the stars’ in his private observatory, but in the bigger picture it really was not his fault either. 

He was raised to be a king, to be perfect, to be a scientist, to be a role model — not to be a husband unfortunately, and that hasn’t been a problem until after you’ve arrived.

Don’t get him wrong, he wasn’t complaining, it was just that your existence near him changed more than he thought. 

First of all it changed him and it really was harder than you could guess to adjust.

Just a few days back he was a young boy who did not care for anything else besides the planet Venus, yet today the only thing that he was thinking about was you, and what he could do to impress you, in hopes of making you hate him less.  

So to put it shortly, he just needed some time to make everything perfect, that was all. 

It was your pretty voice what pulled him out of his trans as you were calling for the name of god after his. Your body was collapsed on his, your arms wrapped around his neck while you were panting against his ear, putting your last drop of energy to your legs in order to be able to keep on bouncing upon him. 

“Shhh, you’re alright,” he whispered as he hugged your waist, taking some weight off your tired knees as he helped you with your movements using his strong arms, leading you up and down repeatedly, “I’ve got you y/n, it’s alright.” 

“I’m … I-I think I’m …” 

“Do it.” he cut your words, lips landing endless kisses on your neck as his grip tightened. His face was buried on your skin while he was trying to focus on his nearing high, hoping to arrange it at the same time with yours. 

And he was successful with it, the seeds of your future generation spilling from his thick shaft into you, filling you up all good like your previous times.

Neither of you were quiet with your climaxes as you both groaned and sighed, hands all over each other, desperately searching for a space to hold on. 

“Are you well?” he managed to utter after a while later, all breathless as he rested his face on your shoulders. You seemed just as exhausted as him, he could tell it from the way your heart was beating. 

Yes, it was so loud that he could hear it, wasn’t that so cute?

“Mhm, I’m .. uhh .. fine.” you replied, forcing out your words with your half closed eyes, trying to remove yourself from where you were sitting on top of Sunghoon with your weak arms. “I should leave you .. um, good night.”

Now that you were done with each other, it was time that you left, right? I mean, It wasn’t like you had any good reasons to stay anyway. 

Well, it looked like Sunghoon did not agree with you, not in the slightest bit. 

“Wait — ” he stopped you, raising his head from where it was resting on your chest to look you in the eyes. And your eyes, lord, they were so beautiful. “Don’t leave tonight, just stay,” he said, using his kindest tone, “please, y/n, I’m asking you.”

“But — ”

“No buts,” he shushed you, caressing your lips with his thumb as he pressed it on them, “enough with this cold war between us, let us put an end to it already, yeah?” 

You were left tongue-tied at his sudden offer, fluttering your lashes a few times as you observed his face. He was serious — sincere even, you could sense it with your heart, which was a first.

Were you surprised? hell yes, but this was a good thing. 

He was trying to show that he was willing to take the first step for you and needless to say, it was as impressive as it was cute. He was probably freaking out on the inside, hoping miserably for you to take a step towards him as well, so that the unbearable gap between you two would vanish. 

Clearing your throat, “Yeah,” you hummed, nodding your head,  “I’d love that.” 

“And no more even days or odd days,” he added, wrapping his arms around you even stronger, wanting to give you no space in case you tried to run away, “we shall have all of our days like this, together.”

Failing to stop your curiosity from getting the best of you, “But why now?” you asked. 

I mean this was sweet and all, like who wouldn’t want peace with their husband but, what happened out of nowhere? You wanted to know, you had to know so you repeated yourself,  “Why the change now?” 

“Because I want my wife every day of the week, regardless of the date,” he answered, his eyes never leaving yours as they burned a hole through your soul, “I love her too much to let another day go to waste without her near me, that’s why.”

Wait, did you hear that right? Did he just tell you that he — ohmygod, did he just confess?

“Y-you … you love me?” 

“I’m crazy about you, my queen,” he approved, a beautiful smile spreading all over on his handsome face as he leaned in to steal your breath with his lips once again before he whispered, 

“I’m as crazy as a mad dog for you, if only you could see.”

© hee-pster on tumblr, do not plagiarize.

au where sunghoon thinks he's cupid (cupid is so fucking dumb 😡😡😡)

are you mine? – lee heeseung

requested. main masterlist.

TAGLIST: to be added to my perma taglist, please send an ask. only those with their ages on their profile can be considered to be added to the taglist, and you must be 18+ as everything i write is mature. anyone sending asks and doesn't meet the criteria, your ask will be deleted.

pairing: academic rival/secret best friend heeseung x afab reader (feat nct best friend sungchan)

genre: angst, more so suggestive than smuttish, but does have a start of a smut scene at the end (mdni)

plot: heeseung loved to taunt you every day, reminding you he was better than you. little did you know, that was just his pathetic way of trying to win you over

warnings: heeseung was an idiot and did childish things to 'flirt', heeseung kind of cornered reader into dating him but it was also consensual, swearing, start of a smut scene but i cut it off oops.

wc: 2543

Lee Heeseung walked the halls of the campus like he owned the whole fucking world, and you hated it with a burning passion.

You hated him with a burning passion.

His face was dumb, his smiles were dumb, his soft yet cheerful greetings were dumb, his lingering hands on your arm when he called for your attention was dumb.

You just wanted to punch him in the face sometimes.

Sure, he was hot—insanely so. He was smart, athletic, good at everything he did. But he wasn’t the king of the world or anything—though he sure liked to act like he was.

His follower count on social media baffled you, you refused to become one of the numbers that stalked his every post and commented thirst all over his photos. You refused to join the crowd.

That didn’t mean you didn’t secretly ogle his photos.

And sometimes, he even shared a lowkey photo of you claiming he was in mad love. You thought he was just using you to get the women in his DMs to back off, but little did you know…

Ever since you were a kid, you were always second place next to Heeseung. He followed you everywhere, just to taunt you and rub that simple fact into your face. Anyone would think he was following you because he was beyond whipped over you, but the whispers he shared into your ears were often taunts of you not being good enough to beat him, not good enough to ever be on top of him, not secret sweet confessions like everyone thought.

You weren’t the only enemy Lee Heeseung had.

Everyone knew there was another student that was second in town, Sungchan. He always pushed you down to third place, but you were okay with the fact it was him. Sungchan didn’t make you feel angry butterflies. His smile calmed you, and he often made you laugh instead of feel fury.

Despite going to sister schools and not sharing any classes growing up, you had become friends with Sungchan through some after school classes you both attended. Dare you say it, he was your best friend.

When all three of you began university, you were beyond happy to be in all the same classes as Sungchan. It just sucked that Heeseung was also in your classes. At least he left you alone.

Sungchan had become more like a brother figure, a best friend, compare to the crush you expected it to turn out to be. When you were a kid, you expected to fall madly in love with Sungchan and you would get your happy ever after with him. But that was far from the case.

You both enjoyed being with one another, but there was no semblance of romance in sight. That, and the fact Sungchan had been in love and dating the same girl from the age of 13.

Sungchan walked you out of class and pulled you aside, chewing at his bottom lip with anxiety. “I think I’m really going to do it, I’m going to propose to her.”

“While I think you’re still way too young to be getting married,” You began, having been through this conversation many times in recent months. You turned around, landing your back against the wall as you watched Sungchan’s reactions. “You’ve been together for so long and it’s clear you’re each other’s soulmates. I wish you all my luck.”

Sungchan’s anxious frown turned into a wide smile, his eyes even glossing over. He jumped in his spot and took a breath to try and clear the fog in his brain. “You’re my number one hype man, and I couldn’t ask for a better friend,” Sungchan complimented you.

You grabbed his cheeks with your hand and pulled his head down a little too aggressive. You pressed a kiss to his forehead, then tapped his cheek with your fingers. “Go get yourself that wife,” You joked with a wide smile.

Sungchan turned and almost ran down the hallway, tripping on the way. You couldn’t help but feel a flutter in your chest. He was so happy, and that made you happy. You silently made a reminder to text him later that night for all the details before you pushed yourself off the wall and turned, only to come face-to-chest with an unknown person.

“Oh, sorry-“ You began, but your happiness dimmed as you looked up at Heeseung. You sighed, crossing your arms over your chest. “How long have you been standing here for?”

“Long enough to see you making fuck me eyes at Sungchan,” He muttered, sounding a little jealous almost. You rolled your eyes, but pushed the angry butterflies in your stomach aside. You felt butterflies for this man only, and it made you hate him more.

“I was not making fuck me eyes at him, thank you very much. Not that it’s any of your business,” You snapped. As you looked up at him, your chin almost rested on his chest. You craved to hold him closer, but you knew you had no right to touch him.

“Of course it’s my business, you’re my fucking girlfriend,” Heeseung snapped, causing your eyes to go wide and your mouth to fall open.

“Um, since when?” You asked. Heeseung looked enraged by your response, his hand grabbing your cheeks just as you had done to Sungchan.

“What do you mean ‘since when’? Since we were kids, maybe. You were always at my house and we spent all of our time together, and you’re only now telling me you were never my girlfriend?”

You couldn’t held but laugh, only causing Heeseung’s eyes to turn into a cold stare as his hand gripped your cheeks tighter, pushing your lips out at the action. “That doesn’t mean we were dating, you know.”

‘Oh yeah? Then why did you sleep over almost every weekend and hug me in your sleep? Why did we go on almost weekly dates?” Heeseung defended the relationship you didn’t even know you was in.

“Dates? Wait, you think us going to the library to study was us going on dates? Come on man, do better. If you’re in love with me then just admit it,” You joked, your hands coming to hold his wrist but you made no effort to push his hand away.

“I’m madly in fucking love with you,” He stated, his voice a little too calm in contrast to the butterflies rumbling in your stomach, trying to get out.

“Excuse me?” You asked, your tone sounded a little too snappy and angry, the opposite of what you intended.

“Enough of your attitude,” Heeseung whispered before he pulled your face to his, his lips pressing against yours gently. Your eyes widened at first, but then your hands let go of his wrist to wrap around his neck to kiss him back.

Heeseung smiled against your lips at the action and turned his head to check his watch before he mumbled, “I’m meant to be in gym right now.”

“Well how about your kind of girlfriend follows you and watches your basketball training for once, yeah?” You asked, Heeseung nodding his head a little too enthusiastically. You didn’t know why you just decided to hop right into the role of his girlfriend from seemingly hating him, but a part of you burned for him. His existence in your life was daily, and you couldn’t bare the idea of parting.

Heeseung let go of your cheeks and laced his hand down, his fingers tangling between yours before he said nothing further and walked with you to the downstairs gym. He had his own little plan, knowing no one would be there for some hours. He thought he was ingenious.

Heeseung had always seen you as his girlfriend. He fell in love with you at first sight as a kid, sharing his paints with you and trying to help you hold your paintbrush at a better angle. He took on most of the project when you were paired up in class, not even asking you to do any work. He walked you home almost every day. He looked at the crowd of his every basketball match, only to feel sadness when he didn’t find your face cheering him on.

He personally thought you were a shit girlfriend, but he loved you with ever fibre of his being so he couldn’t just let you go. He even bragged to the whole world about you, that was why he shared your semi-photos of social media. His friends even deemed you a bad girlfriend, but he still defended your every action.

Heeseung reached the door to lead to the locker room and turned to you with a wide smile. You went to pull your hand away so he could go inside, but instead you let out a gasp when he pulled you in, then into a private changing room. He locked the door behind him, pushing you to sit on the bench.

You looked at him with wide and surprised eyes, watching as he slipped his bag from his shoulder onto the floor by the door. He looked to the right and smirked. “I’m going to have a quick shower since I was working out this morning. I want you to sit front row so it’s easier to wait here so I can show you the quick way to the best seats, yeah?”

You laughed, leaning your head back against the wall. “Wow, you demand I’m your girlfriend and try to fuck me all in the same day.” You caught onto his plot quite quick, but you made no effort to leave. If you wanted to, he would have gladly just saved seeing you for later.

Heeseung rolled his eyes and crouched in front of you, his hands resting on your thighs for support. “It’s not my fault you forgot we were dating.”

“You never asked me,” You snapped, lifting your head to stare into his eyes. The way he raised an eyebrow made the butterflies fight once again. Your hands came to the sides of his jaw, holding his face in your hands. You felt drunk just from his looks.

“Of course I did, and you said ‘yeah, sure,’ so you’re all mine and I would appreciate it if you’d stop flirting with Sungchan,” Heeseung stated, his hands moving their way up your thighs to your hips, his touch gentle but behind his eyes, there was a dark look.

You couldn’t remember the day as you were so lost reading on your phone, how did he expect you to remember? He remembered the feeling of his skin becoming hot and his hands sweaty when he asked. The memory was engraved in his brain for the rest of time.

“Sungchan is literally about to go propose to his girlfriend so I can assure you, I do not flirt with him,” You stated, shaking Heeseung’s face in your hands.

Heeseung smiles wide and then pouted his lips. His hands tightened on your hips, pulling you to the edge of the bench so your lips could meet his again. At first the kiss was gently, but Heeseung soon became needy and began to use his tongue and teeth into the kiss, nipping at your bottom lip to try and heat up the make out session.

You weren’t sure how to react, your brain hazy. You hated him, but you also really, really liked him. He was perfect in every way, despite the daily taunts of him being better than you. You didn’t know that was just his lame way of flirt, and made a reminder to show your boyfriend how to really flirt with a girl when you weren’t so needy to be against one another’s bare skin.

Your hands moved from his jaw back to lock around his neck, pulling him as close as possible. Heeseung smiled against your lips before one of his hands wrapped around your waist, then he grabbed the zip of your pants and he pulled it down. The action caused your pants to fall down a bit, you gasping against his lips. “What are you doing?”

Heeseung laughed and pulled back to rest his forehead against yours. “Sorry, I got a little too caught up. I just want to touch you and make everyone know you’re mine. Mark up the pretty skin on your neck, make you scream my name…”

Heeseung’s words drifted off as he became lost in his own perverted thoughts. Your cheeks became hot and you used one hand to fan at your face and neck, trying not to turn into a fit of nervous giggles.

You laughed and pulled back from him. Heeseung expected you to reject his offer, but God, he had no idea how much you had been dreaming of touching him beyond his face and arms. The parts of you that hated, really only hated that you thought he didn’t care about you. When you found out the truth, of course your whole body became crazed.

You grabbed the edge of your jumper and pulled it off, revealing you were wearing no undershirt or bra. Heeseung’s eyes bulged out of his head for a second before he smirked, his hands coming to your chest as his thumbs rubbed over your nipples, eliciting a moan from you.

“Oh no, is my pretty baby already needy for me?” Heeseung pouted, his thumbs flicking slow, then fast. You raised your hips, leaning your head back as you let out deep breaths. Heeseung took the hint, his hands pushing down your pants. He gripped your ass halfway down, then smirked to himself before he pushed the pants down to your knees.

You let out a gasp as his actions, but couldn’t hold back your laugh. “For someone who was always mean to their girlfriend, you’re sure acting real nice to me right now. Is it just because you’re going to be getting something out of this?”

Heeseung pouted and shook his head in denial. “Of course not, can’t I just treat my pretty girlfriend nice for once?”

Your rolled your eyes but nodded with a smile. Heeseung rushed to push your panties aside, no smart remarks coming from him for once. You were unsure how to react, but decided to just go along with it.

Neither you nor him ever dated anyone else and he was right, you did sleep over his every weekend after studying together. He was a secret best friend, one who tried to push your buttons.

He didn’t seem to comment on the fact when you sleep in his bed, you made sure to push your whole body against his in an attempt to get his attention. If he did notice, then he sure held some strong restraints against your seduction attempts.

You weren’t sure how Sungchan would react to you dating his academic rival, but decided it better to push the worry aside. That was something you could deal with at a later time.

Heeseung instantly dove his face between your legs, tongue out and ready to give you all the pleasure you wanted. His tongue pressed flat against your clit, and you let out a little shriek for the new yet exciting feeling.

── ❝ ꒰ 𝒥𝐸𝐴𝐿𝑂𝑈𝑆𝑌 ៸ 𝒥𝐸𝐴𝐿𝑂𝑈𝑆𝑌 .ᐟㅤ ៸៸﹙ 박성훈 ﹚ ᶻ𐰁

GENRE ៸៸ academic rivals ៸ oneshot ﹔ SYPNOSIS┆in which you spotting your academic rival with another girl makes you feel things you had never once experienced before .ᐟㅤ ꒰ WORD COUNT﹕1551 ꒱── 𝓦ARNING(S) not proofread ៸ flirty hoon ៸ pet names ៸ cursing ៸ . ݁ ✦ ݁ . ⊱ LIBRARY . . . ﹕LUNA 💭 — i miss enha and riize school is depriving me. ( ꩜ ᯅ ꩜;) ˖ ݁𖥔 ݁˖

YOU’VE NEVER LIKED PARK SUNGHOON.

from the very first moment you both met, he was always a step ahead of you—academically, athletically, socially.

even when he wasn’t trying, it seemed like he was out to get you in every way.

whether it was the way he’d breeze through math equations that left you staring at the chalkboard for minutes on end— or how he managed to charm every teacher with his charming wittiness and smooth-talking nature, he just seemed… infuriatingly perfect.

but what made it worse was that he knew it.

“better luck next time, y/n,” sunghoon would say after every test you lost to him.

“don’t worry princess, you’ll get there eventually.” he’d say with a smirk.

and every single time, you would grind your teeth, roll your eyes, and ignore the smug grin on his face.

he was constantly teasing you, acting like your rivalry was all just a game.

he didn’t even take it seriously!— meanwhile, you were constantly working your hardest, pushing yourself to beat him.

but no matter how hard you tried, he was always there, effortlessly flawless. ─── 𝘔𝘖𝘙𝘌 𝘜𝘕𝘋𝘌𝘙 𝘛𝘏𝘌 𝘊𝘜𝘛 !

the teasing got worse during group projects, where you were often paired together due to your similar grades.

while you were focused on getting things done, sunghoon was focused on teasing you at every opportunity.

“come on, you don’t need to work so hard,” he’d say one afternoon when you were hunched over your notes in the library.

“you’re gonna get wrinkles from all that frowning. besides, you’re cute when you smile.”

you scoffed. “you’re delusional, sunghoon. maybe if you focused more on the project and less on making stupid comments, we wouldn’t be here all afternoon.”

he leaned back in his chair, flashing you that infuriating smirk.

“but tell me, where exactly is the fun in that?”

you hated how his teasing always got under your skin.

and even more than that, you hated how sometimes, when he wasn’t being his cocky self, you caught glimpses of something else.

a small, genuine smile when he thought you weren’t looking—the way his eyes seemed to soften, just for a split second, whenever you were caught up in your work.

but you told yourself it didn’t matter. he was your rival, nothing more.

until one day, everything changed.

it started on a regular afternoon—you were heading to the library to study, the dread of another upcoming test hanging over your shoulders.

you were determined this time to beat sunghoon, no matter what it took.

you had stayed up late the past few nights, reviewing your notes and going over practice problems.

there was absolutely no freaking way in hell you were going to let him win again.

as you approached the library, you spotted sunghoon sitting at a table near the back.

at first, you were ready to ignore him and focus on your work, but then you noticed he wasn’t alone.

a girl sat beside him, leaning close as they whispered and giggled together.

your footsteps faltered, something sharp making its way in your chest.

you didn’t know why, but the sight of sunghoon laughing with someone else—someone who wasn’t you—stung in a way that left you breathless.

you had never seen him like this before— his face was relaxed, open, and there was something intimate about the way they were sitting together, their heads close, completely absorbed in their conversation.

sunghoon’s usually cool and detached demeanor had melted away, replaced by something softer, something you didn’t understand.

and it hurt.

before you could stop yourself, you turned on your heel and walked away.

your chest was tight, and the rational part of your mind tried to convince you that it didn’t matter.

sunghoon was free to talk to whoever he wanted—you sure weren’t his girlfriend, and you certainly didn’t care about what he did outside of your academic rivalry.

but that didn’t stop the flood of emotions crashing through you.

the anger—jealousy—confusion, and somewhere, buried deep beneath it all, was the tiniest flicker of something else—something you refused to acknowledge.

for the next few days, you did everything you could to avoid him.

you stopped going to the library at your usual times, sat farther away from him in class, and when he tried to talk to you, you’d brush him off with a cold remark lacking your usual bicker or pretending you were too busy to listen.

if he noticed, he didn’t say anything, but you caught him glancing your way more often than usual, a frown tugging at his lips.

to distract yourself, you started hanging out with your friend wonbin more.

he was easygoing, fun to be around, and most importantly, he didn’t make your emotions spiral out of control the way sunghoon did.

you’d spend lunch together, study in the library in a different corner from where you and sunghoon would, and soon enough, he became your go-to when you wanted to take your mind off things.

but of course, sunghoon noticed.

it started with the glances—you’d be sitting with wonbin, laughing at one of his jokes, and you’d catch sunghoon watching from across the room.

his usual confidence was replaced with something darker—his jaw clenched, his eyes narrowed.

it unsettled you, but you told yourself it wasn’t your problem, he had no right to be upset when he had been laughing with that girl just days ago.

then came the confrontation.

you were walking to your next class, distracted by a conversation with wonbin, when you felt a firm hand grab your wrist.

startled, you spun around to find sunghoon standing there, his expression hard.

his grip wasn’t tight, but there was something urgent in the way he held onto you, as if he couldn’t let you leave without hearing him out.

“can i talk to you?” his voice was low, but you could hear the tension brewing beneath it.

“not now, sunghoon,” you replied, trying to pull your arm free, but he didn’t let go.

“no, we need to talk. now.. please?”

wonbin gave you a concerned look, but you forced a smile and told him you’d catch up later.

as he walked away, sunghoon tugged you into a quiet, empty hallway where no one could overhear you.

“what the hell is your problem?” he asked, voice barely above a whisper but filled with frustration.

your heart pounded in your chest.

“seriously—my problem? you’re the one acting like an ass.”

“i’m acting like an ass? you’re the one ignoring me for no reason and hanging out with him all the time.” his eyes flicked toward the direction wonbin had walked off in, his jealousy evident.

“oh, so i’m not allowed to have friends now?” you shot back, your voice rising in frustration.

“why do you even care?”

sunghoon’s jaw tightened. “because it’s driving me crazy, okay? seeing you with him—it drives me insane. i don’t know what’s going on, but—” he ran a hand through his hair, his frustration clear.

“why are you avoiding me, y/n? did i do something wrong?”

the vulnerability in his voice caught you off guard. you weren’t used to seeing him like this—raw, open, and confused.

it made your heart ache in a way you weren’t prepared for.

“i saw you,” you finally admitted, crossing your arms in an attempt to keep your voice steady.

“in the library. with that girl. you were laughing with her, and i just—”

you swallowed, unable to finish the sentence. “nevermind—it doesn’t matter.”

sunghoon blinked, his confusion deepening further.

“wait, what girl?”

you glared at him. “don’t play dumb, sunghoon. the girl you were whispering with the other day.”

realization dawned on his face, and for the first time in the conversation, he looked genuinely taken aback.

“you mean… my cousin?”

your stomach dropped. “what?”

“the girl in the library. that was my cousin, y/n. she was visiting for the weekend, and i was just showing her around.” he paused, his lips twitching as if he was holding back laughter.

“wait—no way… are you jealous?”

heat rushed to your face, and you immediately looked away, mortified.

“no! of course not—are you crazy?”

but your weak protest only made him laugh softly, his earlier frustration replaced by amusement— he stepped closer, his tone gentle now.

“you are— don’t lie to me, you’re totally jealous.”

“i’m not,” you mumbled, refusing to meet his eyes.

your cheeks burned with embarrassment. how could you have been so stupid?

sunghoon chuckled, his voice lowering as he reached out to tuck a loose strand of hair behind your ear.

“you’re really cute when you’re flustered, you know that?”

before you could respond, he leaned in, his lips brushing against your cheek in the softest of kisses.

the warmth of his plush and soft lips on your skin sent shivers down your spine, and for a moment, you forgot how to breathe.

when he pulled back, his own cheeks were dusted with pink, and he suddenly looked just as flustered as you felt.

“uh… i’ll, um, see you later,” he stammered, rubbing the back of his neck awkwardly before quickly turning on his heel and walking away, leaving you standing there, heart racing, utterly speechless.

what the hell are you going to do with park sunghoon?

© won4kiss 2024

𝒯aglist open ‹𝟹 @mioons @nshmuras @suneng @pnghoon @shawnyle @laylasbunbunny @privareum @briefsaladfun @greentulip @cyjzzl @sol3chu @txtlyn @d-dilemma @deezbin @pockyyasii @iluvnikism @wonsprincess @rikibwn @niawonn

bed of lies ; park sunghoon

↳ PAIRING: park sunghoon x fembodied!reader

↳ SUMMARY: to prove to his best friend that he could get any girl he wants, park sunghoon makes a bet. within the next 30 days, he has to make the next girl that walks into the room fall in love with him. sunghoon, however, hadn’t anticipated the feelings he would gain during those 30 days.

↳ GENRE: fake relationship (kind of)

↳ WORDCOUNT: around 40k

↳ WARNINGS: alcohol consumption, cigarettes, cursing, angst, sunghoon has major mommy issues lmfao, smut; oral sex, handjobs, unprotected sex, fingering, making out, handjobs etc, minors dni!

↳ TAGLIST: CLOSED !

— PART ONE release date : 8TH OF AUGUST, 4 PM CET

summary : making a bet with jay was easy. getting your attention, however, wasn’t as easy; especially since you seem to have your eyes set on his bestfriend.

word count : 10,3k

— PART TWO release date : 15TH OF AUGUST, 4 PM CET

summary : you getting closer to jake was most definitely not on sunghoons list of things he expected to happen, but you making his heart flutter wasn’t on that list either; yet you did. word count : 8,8k

— PART THREE release date : 6TH OF SEPTEMBER, 10 PM CET

summary : the time spent with you causes sunghoon to come the realization that he fucked up, and he fucked up bad. and thanks to jake, you also realize how badly sunghoon fucked up.

word count : 10k

— PART FOUR release date : 26TH OF OCTOBER, 1:25 AM CET

summary : sunghoon comes to terms with the fact that he has fallen in love with you and is willing to do everything in his power to show you that he has truly fallen for you, but are you willing to forgive him?

word count : 9.6k © svnoohe4rts 2022

new mantra act like an angel dress like crazy ta tarata tara tata

─── 𝐀𝐋𝐖𝐀𝐘𝐒, 𝐄𝐕𝐄𝐍𝐓𝐔𝐀𝐋𝐋𝐘, 𝐘𝐎𝐔𝐑𝐒

+ itoshi sae x f!reader | wc 7.1k | content: fluff, making out, college!au, mentions of insecurity, only very brief angst !!, alcohol, slight jealousy

notes: this was supposed to be lengthier and in smau format but i suck at that so here it is in fic format :’) i know i know, i write sae way too much </3

summary: you have a crush on sae. for a long time now. and he’s always known that. he just wants to see how long you can hold out.

HIGH SCHOOL: 2ND YEAR

itoshi sae knows you like him.

you’re really obvious it’s pathetic, really. once during recess, he’d wanted to go back to the classroom to get some shut eye because soccer was way too draining lately, and guess who he saw slipping a little love note into his locker?

of course you. you and your little pink heart-shaped post-it that read i think you’re cute and i really really like you. because it was valentines and you were one of the many to send him little scribbles of confessions.

even now, when you sit just a couple of rows in front of him, he catches you looking behind at him, and sae purposely doesn’t look at you, doesn’t let you know he knows you’re staring. he’s not really sure why. maybe he feels bad if he exposes you or something.

throughout the rest of your sophomore year in high school, he continues to observe as you so subtly (not really) try to be friends with him. you always try to get picked to be in the same group as him for projects (which never works out), you try to sit next to him in lecture halls (but his friends cockblock you always), and during phys ed classes you try so hard with soccer but you’re really quite bad at it.

maybe it’s sae not being able to continue observing your failures that he throws you a bone.

“you need to bend your knees a little more.”

frozen stiff from the unexpected company, you awkwardly try to bend your knees further, all while staring at the ground. if sae was nice, he’d laugh and joke around with you, asking why you seemed so scared of him. but he’s not, so he only sighs and stands beside you while you try.

after a few more seconds, sae understands you don’t really understand so he moves to push down on your thigh, and by then you really freeze up, falling flat on your ass in front of him.

sae wants to laugh now, really, because it’s amusing how nervous you are. for no good reason too.

the next time sae talks to you, it’s during lunch time when he queues up behind you. on purpose. he doesn’t even usually eat from this stall, but seeing you there makes him want to mess with you a little. he purposely stands a little too close, makes himself prone to an accidental bump.

which does happen. because you’re just like that.

“oh, sor—” you stop midway as if realising it’s sae immediately dissolves you of any obliged apologies. “sorry,” you force out before whipping your attention back in front. the both of you don’t talk in that moment and sae can’t help but feel a little disappointed.

but sae continues to help you during phys ed classes, and you still try to get assigned to be his group mate. nothing groundbreaking happens during sophomore year of high school because nothing is born out of it.

nothing, except maybe a tiny bit of sae’s inexplicable emotions for you.

HIGH SCHOOL: SENIOR YEAR

sae thinks maybe you went to a shrine over the holidays. how else would he explain you finally getting partnered with him on a project? and to top it off, it’s a two-person team for the entire year.

you get him all to yourself.

the moment the teacher calls your name after his, it’s like sae can practically see your tail wagging. you manage to compose yourself when you catch him staring at you though.

it’s a little cute, if he’s being honest.

“so, what do you think our project should be about?” your voice wavers a little when you speak to him. is he that intimidating?

sae wonders what if he tries to be a dick during this project. would you be obedient or would you actually bite back?

he tries to find out.

sae shrugs and acts disinterested, staring out the window of the second floor of the library where you’d both agreed to meet to work on it together. “don’t know, don’t care, think you could handle it for us? i’ve got too many soccer trainings, too tired.”

for a split second, you’re taken aback—he sees you sitting upright a little more, blinking twice at him because surely that’s not what you imagined your crush to behave like. not when he has straight As and is almost the top of your cohort.

and for a while, sae thinks you might actually be the former; obediently listening to him, making sure he’s happy. but then you furrow your brows and clench your fists and go “itoshi sae, who do you think you are” and oh, oh, you’re not the former, you’re the latter and you’d actually kill him if he was a dick. fuck.

somehow his hands instinctively come up in surrender and his mouth opens, “i was just kidding.”

it’s almost comical how your expression softens up immediately and you laugh, and sae keeps staring at you because you actually have a really nice smile. he never really noticed it before. and when the two of you actually get started on the project, sae finds himself observing you more than actually contributing.

yeah, you’re really quite pretty.

“any plans for the summer?”

it’s now almost july and summer break is around the corner, and to be honest sae’s kind of bummed about it. it’s beyond him why not seeing you would make him disappointed, but he’s not going to try and pursue the reason. he has his training camps to worry about.

“soccer. you?”

“mmm, a short trip with my parents.”

usually sae would leave it at that, but he asks about you, and he sees that tail wagging again. “where?”

“just gonna go to hokkaido,” you tell him. and you look like you’re anticipating him to ask more, but sae’s stuck. he doesn’t really know what to ask. he’s not exactly curious as to what you’d be doing there.

so you take matters into your own hand when you swiftly grab his phone from the table, key in your number and call yourself from his phone before putting it right back. sae watches you the whole time, wondering when exactly you’d gotten this bold.

“there, now you can’t escape me even over summer break.”

and he doesn’t. because you text him about your trip when you’re there, you send him pictures of the scenery and of the food you’re eating and you’re really inconsiderate because you send him that shit when he’s stuck in soccer bootcamp with twenty-four sweaty guys who’s none the better than him.

sae can end it by all means, just by not responding to you, but for the first time, talking to someone isn’t really a pain, and he thinks you’re kind of funny and the stickers you send are kind of cute so he’ll let this continue. even if by continue he means sending mediocre, lacklustre responses that just barely manages to keep the conversation going.

(in sae’s mind at eighteen, sending replies like okay and i see are considered acceptable and subjectively considered effort.)

when summer break finally ends and it’s early september, sae finally sees you again while he walks to school. he walks a little faster just to catch up to you before he adjusts his pace, acts like it’s coincidence that he’s right beside you.

and somehow he’s made it a routine; to memorise what bus you get off of and catch you on the way to school. even if he sees you in classes and even after classes in the library.

you’re acting a little less like he’s on a podium and more like normal friends and he kind of likes that. he likes being able to see you unfiltered when you gossip, likes seeing you laugh at stupid lame jokes, likes the way you hang close to him whenever you’re beside him.

okay maybe like is a little stretching it, he doesn’t mind being able to tolerate it. or maybe he’s just in denial, whatever.

winter comes and it’s somehow the time when more girls try to talk to him, mainly because somehow the school decides to hold a winter event this year; it’s going to be held near the edge of the city, where the biggest skating rink is.

by his guess, most girls are looking for a guy to have a skating date with.

in the library during your usual meetup for the school project, sae gets more than a couple visitors trying to get him for that same reason. you eye everyone that approaches the table, and sae can’t help but notice how he actually likes when you’re pouty. maybe it’s his twisted thinking that jealousy means you’re still into him.

“itoshi-kun, i was thinking whether you wanted to go to the winter event together?” another girl from your class, mizuno, asks him, and sae is tired of it, frankly. but he doesn’t show it. he only looks at you, and you look back at him because he doesn’t usually stare for this long.

then, he looks at mizuno and rejects her.

“sorry, can’t, i’m going with y/n.”

(you get home that day being completely flustered and completely happy.)

on the day of the event, sae keeps his word. he goes with you, sticks beside you the entire time. his friends snap pictures of the two of you and you always look so embarrassed. maybe you’re just not used to all of this attention. but that’s fine, it’s cute.

one thing he learns about you is that you can be real clumsy sometimes. like now, when you get so excited over your watermelon slushie that you somehow spill it all over your jacket and clothes.

sae ends up giving you his puffy winter jacket while he braves the cold with whatever he has left. that’s fine, he’s strong. besides, getting to watch you wear his jacket the entire time feels like a bonus somehow.

he thinks by now you should confess already, but you don’t. you’re happy to stay in this bubble with him right now, whichever phase the two of you are at. so is he. it feels kind of nice.

feels especially nice when you hang onto him for dear life in the skating rink even though neither of you are moving. sae’s aware that people are staring holes into both of you but it’s strange how much he doesn’t mind when it’s with you. that’s why he holds his hands out, lets you take them, makes himself pull you along. he finds himself wishing neither of you were wearing gloves so he could feel how soft your hands are.

by the end of the day, everyone takes it that the both of you are together, even though the both of you are too avoidant to talk about it.

“hey, sae? thanks for today,” you say later that night when everything is done and you’d had the giddiest experience with sae. he’s walking you home and he doesn’t even know why; it’s a mystery to him why he keeps himself close whenever he can.

“it’s fine, i was the one who told people i was going with you, so.”

when he gets you to your front porch, you don’t go in immediately, standing right there with your back facing him, and sae wonders what’s going through your head. if only he could see the expression on your face right now, maybe he’d know.

you let him; because you turn around, giving him a big smile before you take a step forward and press a chaste kiss on his cheek, immediately turning on your heel and running into your house.

neither of you say bye, both of you are just a little too stunned to speak. sae stands out there in the cold for a little while longer, his face and ears red—he’s not even sure whether it’s from the weather or from you—but even when he starts to leave, you’re still slumped at your front door, covering your face in embarrassment, knees too weak to stand up.

there’s only one more quarter left until you graduate and sae and you both act like nothing happened that day. you still gossip unfiltered and he still listens but acts like he doesn’t.

except now instead of sitting across from you, he opts to sit directly beside you. sometimes sits a little too close just so your arms will brush against each other. sae also lets you keep his puffy jacket because you said you liked it.

you wear it throughout winter.

when graduation comes around and it’s time for sae to choose his university, he can’t help but take a peek at your screen. a smile comes to his face when he sees your first choice is the same as his. you’re smart too, he doesn’t doubt you’ll get in.

“itoshi sae, you can smile?”

sae immediately turns it into a frown. “guess not.”

you take your words back. “hey, i’m just kidding! it’s just rare… that’s all.”

so you notice him a lot then?

sure, you might not have seen him smile a lot. but that’s fine. from what sae knows, you have the entirety of your university years to possibly catch it.

UNIVERSITY: FRESHMAN YEAR

of course you enter the same university as itoshi sae. it’s not on purpose, but you’re glad you both made it here anyway.

at least knowing one friendly face is better than none.

to be honest, you’re not really sure where you and sae stand. he’s never said anything about that kiss, but he also doesn’t stay away from you. can you take that as a positive thing?

if anything, he’s even closer.

somehow, his dorms and yours are practically next door. when you open your bathroom window, you can look right into his. it happened once, by accident, and you’d caught him, shirtless with just a white towel hanging around his neck, hair damp as he brushes his teeth, the droplets of water on his abs looking very inviting.

but then he caught you staring and you’ve shut your bathroom window ever since. thankfully, he never mentions it.

being in university and staying in campus meant that you were both hanging out much more informally. and you’d think that two people at the age of nineteen who’d known each other for three years would be less awkward than this but it’s you and sae and somehow there’s always an element of awkwardness.

it’s halfway into your freshman year and you’d just watched the first match that sae’s playing for the university team. you’re a little starstruck, honestly. to think that the guy you’ve always had a crush on is this good at soccer.

he’s amazing. you’re feeling like a potato sack.

“hey, you know him right?” hime gushes.

your friends are with you, so it’s natural they ask.

mira on your left sighs, “guess we have no shot with him since he’s with y/n all the time,” she says, nudging you in the elbow.

you’re starting to regret bringing them here with all the teasing. you’re also regretting coming here yourself because you see several girls running to him asking for a picture together. some of which you recognise, some of which are the popular girls.

sae doesn’t stop them from snapping what they can, but he also doesn’t stop for them at all. instead, he saunters over to you, hime and mira wordlessly disappearing to the side.

“gimme that,” sae says, gesturing to the phone in your hand. you obey, of course, and he smirks, then he snaps a selfie with you before tossing your phone back and walking off.

the pairs of eyes on you make you half-embarrassed yet half-proud. even with this many fangirls, sae chooses to come to you.

that night sae asks you to send him the picture.

yeah, maybe you can take that as a positive thing.

freshman year after that is generally uneventful. you and sae are both trying to find your footing, with him preoccupied mostly with soccer trainings while you’re drowning in assignments and projects that have nothing to do with him.

but you still see him in the mornings sometimes, when you walk past your common room and he’s in his, and you wave at him when he’s alone so you’re not so shy, and he nods in acknowledgement before he just walks away.

one night while you’re burning the midnight oil trying to cram some accounting knowledge into your brain, you get a text from sae.

wanna get supper?

both of you end up at one of the supper spots outside of school, a little cosy shop that sells boba and ramen even after midnight.

“why’d you wanna get supper?”

sae shrugs, taking a sip of his plain water. “just bored, couldn’t sleep.”

“isn’t this soccer season? you can’t even eat anything in here, it’s definitely not passable for your diet.”

he sighs, leaning back against his chair. “so? quit whining and start eating your shit already.”

if it was some other guy you’d be rolling your eyes and storming off. but it’s sae and you know him and he thinks he’s talking normally like this. besides, when you catch his eyes flicker up to lock with yours you get a little dizzy inside.

“what’re you up so late for anyway?”

sae’s fingers are drumming lightly against the surface of the metal table, teal eyes diligently observing as you bring the strands of noodle to your lips. “told you, i couldn’t sleep.”

you find that strange; he’s always been able to sleep, no problem. and he’s strict about his eight hour sleep schedule. what could be getting to the great itoshi sae?

(sae’s lying through his teeth; having his bedroom right across from yours means he can see when your lights aren’t out. sue him for being a little concerned.)

“so, heard you and the team are going on a soccer trip somewhere in europe,” you bring up. you’d heard it from your friends, strangely, instead of sae himself.

he nods. “yeah, just a select few,” he tells you, “only if we win the tournament though, then the team’ll officially invite us over.”

so-called team you heard about is real madrid, and you’d be crazy to think that sae couldn’t help your university team win on his own.

“guess i won’t be seeing you around when you go,” you mumble idly, not completely aware of what you’re basically saying.

sae is adept at reading in between the lines, but he doesn’t probe you on it. he’s not sure he wants to. he doesn’t know what this is. do you still like him? does he like you too? all these feelings are new; sae doesn’t know what to do with it.

so he keeps it to himself. for now.

he doesn’t really do a good job at following through with it though, because on the day of the tournament finals, he looks at you and winks right as he orchestrates that winning goal for his team, and you’re left wondering if you’re imagining things.

UNIVERSITY: SOPHOMORE YEAR

the final part of your freshman year went and gone, and it didn’t go exactly how you imagined it to be. you didn’t expect to hear from sae at all when he went on his trip after that tournament.

but you did.

he replied you whenever he had the time. told you anything you asked for. even called you when you had a mini meltdown because of finals.

to be frank, you don’t know what the both of you are anymore. you’re cursing yourself for being too scared to ask.

“hey y/n, have you seen hime anywhere?”

it’s oliver asking, captain of the university’s soccer team and also hime’s current situationship. he’d started hitting her up since that first time sae played and brought attention to you and the people around you.

“yeah, she’s by the pool with mira.”

oliver leaves as soon as you tell him, and you stand awkwardly at the corner of the living room, by the full panel of glass windows, wondering if you should just go home. you’d only came because hime and mira both said you needed to experience a party at least once this year but now you’re surrounded by people making out and drunkards slipping into the pool that it makes you regret giving this a shot at all.

especially since sae’s not going to be back till tomorrow, garnering as much interest as he did during his time in spain. you really have no reason to be here.

“hey there, pretty.”

startled, you find a familiar face up close in your personal space, his finger twirling your hair. you’d recognise that head of blonde and pink anywhere.

“oh, you’re ryusei shido right? you’re on the soccer team with sae,” you think out loud, and he nods, and you can see his blonde lashes so closely it’s making you flustered.

“mhm, fwhat’s a pretty girl like you doing all alone in a corner? seems like a shame,” he comments, though he doesn’t even give you a chance to answer. the next thing you know, shido drags you into a drinking game with hime and mira (which is why your first instinct wasn’t to run off, if you could trust anyone it’s your best friends). although, shido is getting annoyingly close and you can’t decide if you’re nervous or annoyed.

and the heavens surely love you when they let shido draw the card that corresponds to a dare, and they love testing your boundaries when some guy called otoya dares him to kiss you.

but no, you know that the heavens really do love you when someone yanks shido’s hair back and pulls him away from your face, taking his spot in between the both of you in the bid for proximity that you don’t mind because it’s itoshi sae.

“sae, what’re you doing here? i thought you wouldn’t be back till tomorrow,” you ask, a little shell-shocked but you still notice he’s discerning frown and how there’s barely any space between the two of you.

he looks at you, tilting his head, “what? my girl’s not happy to see me here?”

you don’t respond. half because you think you’re dreaming and fuck—really, did he just call you his girl?

“eh? i don’t recall you having a girlfriend?” shido leers, a hand on the spot of his head where sae had pulled on earlier.

“yeah, besides, shido still has to do the dare.” otoya sounds bored more than anything, but the guy beside him, karasu, if you remember correctly, is smirking.

sae sighs, and you feel like you must’ve crossed the boundary to another dimension when you feel sae’s lips on yours, and you think you’re in limbo when you feel his hand on your neck, pulling you close. his tongue pries your lips apart and people are whistling while shido’s behind him saying get a fucking room or i’ll beat off to this.

when the object of your affection finally pulls away, you’re met with the same pair of unbothered teal eyes, the pair that immediately turns to face otoya. “there, did it for him. now move on.”

you’re beginning to thank alcohol for its existence when almost everyone obeys wordlessly, moving on to some other guy’s turn. you really can’t remember who sits on shido’s right when all you can think of is that itoshi sae, your longtime high school crush, actually kissed you.

that’s enough to warrant the question, right? the question of what sae takes you for?

the inner debate sparks long into the night, even when sae walks you back to your apartment, the both of you side by side in silence.

“sae, what was that?”

he plays coy. “what was what?”

you’re only a little tipsy, so you can still tolerate his avoidance. “you confuse me a lot, you know that?”

sae doesn’t take the bait. “oh, i see.”

“you were jealous.” he was. he really was. you can tell; he was sour to shido the entire night. he stuck close to you too, sometimes your fingers brushed against each other’s.

“so what if i was?”

this one is new. sae’s actually admitting it. and usually you’d chicken out but you can see your apartment coming into view and you don’t want to let this go.

“what am i to you, sae?” you manage to choke it out a few feet away from the door, and sae stops in his tracks, hands in his pocket and teal eyes looking heavenward.

you’re beginning to regret your decision to ask; you’re not sure if his indecision is a good or bad thing. nothing seems to be simple when it comes to itoshi sae.

but he does nothing to appease your confusion when he steps in front of you, his body pressed flush against yours as he presses another kiss to your lips, and you think this one is special because it’s not done in the name of a dare or in front of anyone else. this kiss is for you and you alone and sae is doing this on purpose.

when he pulls back, you see him furrow his brows and you can tell that maybe he’s just as confused as you are.

“when i managed to get an earlier slot for my flight, all i could think about was how excited i was to see you.”

is this… a confession? you’re even more confused now that you don’t even know what to say.

to be honest, so is sae, which is why he swallows the lump in his throat and relegates to his apartment, “goodnight.”

things after that change just a little.

you’d decided to go with the flow, just because you really don’t want to sabotage whatever friendship you and sae had left, although most of the time, sae is the one toeing the line. even though he doesn’t outright tell you anything regarding his feelings.

but you think you figured him out.

sae asks you out whenever you’re both free, and not for shit like studying or errands, but for movies and dinner and he drives you around in his car and looks at you like you’re the only girl he sees. his eyes don’t wander when he’s with you, and he lets you wear even more of his jackets. it’s also evolved to his jerseys and his beloved windbreakers. you have one of each in your own closet and he never seems to ask for them back anymore. he also lets you wear his rings, puts them on your fingers randomly.

both of you still go for parties, especially when it’s one of the soccer guys who are throwing it, because they practically force sae to go and they know you’re the key to convincing him.

most of the time the two of you just laze on the couch, drinking and talking about nothing at all, and he idly plays with your fingers when he’s tipsy, something you never tell him because you like it, because you don’t want him to feel self-conscious and stop. he also smells your hair after he sends you home and hugs you before he retreats to his place, and you wonder if he’s fully sober when he does that.

you resign to getting your answer some other time, because you don’t want anything to ruin this, if this is just an illusion. yeah, you’d talking feelings some other time.

UNIVERSITY: JUNIOR YEAR

you really had no right to be, but you are. try as you might, you can’t stop yourself from feeling the way you do. especially not when she’s sitting so so close to him, when her hand brushes his fingers.

she’s just his project partner, nothing more, but something irks you about the way she can get so close to him so quickly when it took you much longer. but then you hear from shido that kaori is rin and sae’s childhood friend, so maybe that’s why they’re so damn close.

apparently, she’d gotten back to japan after ten years abroad. with great timing too, right when you thought you and sae could amount to something.

“you know, i could help you make him jealous if you wanna,” shido whispers in your ear one time when he catches you staring at them. “we’ll make him feel how you feel, m’kay?”

and while that’s tempting, you shake your head. it’s unreasonable for you to take it out on him that way, not when he hasn’t actually done anything that proves he’s just leading you on.

lately sae’s been so busy around kaori that you’re just thinking too much. you’re wondering if he’s slowly replacing you. he still talks to you over text, but you barely hang out like you did before. you still spot him through the windows, but he’s always too tired to notice you. even his texts are getting slower.

“hey, you okay?”

trust it to hime to notice your personal dilemma. you’re not really surprised though, because she’s been watching you moping for the last few weeks. she now has oliver wrapped fully around her finger, with him sticking around her all the time, which is a surprise considering his reputation.

but hime will take your side, you know this, and maybe that’s why you play it off. you don’t want her to hate sae because of a momentary feeling, so you tell her you’re just sick and you’ll go back home.

the moment you get back to your apartment, you see sae waiting out on the front, car ready while he leans against the hood, waiting.

and you might’ve asked if he was waiting for kaori, but then he looks up and sees you and smirks and that’s all you need to know that he’s not. he was waiting for you, and now he’s opening the passenger side door and telling you to “get in, stupid.”

that’s how sae is with you, impromptu and surprisingly sweet. he drives you to the pier, a cute spot right next to an amusement park where he’d gotten you some candy floss before the both of you just sits on the hood of his car, enjoying the scenery.

“why’d you suddenly bring me here?”

sae lies down, the sun hitting his face in all the right places. he’s gorgeous, you realise for what seems like the thousandth time since you’d known him.

“oliver told me you’d been a little mopey lately,” sae says, and you’re already embarrassed. “sorry if i’ve been busy lately.”

you mirror his position, lying down next to him, and it feels oddly nice like this. you’re not sure if it’s the situation or the person.

“it’s okay, i heard that kaori’s your old friend right? you guys must have a lot to catch up on.” it doesn’t stop you from feeling jealous, but it’ll pass. you hope.

sae chuckles before he turns to you, and you turn to face him too, “you’re jealous.” he smirks, and you’re reminded of the same thing you told him that first night he kissed you.

“shut up, sae.”

he laughs because you’re being pouty, and because maybe it feels a little nice to know you can feel it too. just then, he mirrors what you did way back in high school, reaching across you for your phone. except he doesn’t key in anything—he opens up your camera and takes a picture of the two of you like this, sae looking naturally handsome and better than you because you’re stunned he’s doing this, eyes wide and expression puzzled.

“what’s that for?”

sae’s still fiddling on your phone as you ask, and then he passes it back to you. he’d set it as your phone’s wallpaper.

“to remind you that you’re the one i like, idiot.”

and even though you and sae aren’t physically too close in the wallpaper, you think maybe it’s enough to tide your feelings through for now. he doesn’t ask you for anything else after that, just leaves his confession at that and sends you home before saying he has to finish up his project, aka going to find kaori.

it’s fine by you though, because now you know where sae’s head’s at, even though he never explicitly asked you anything. you’re sure he knows how you feel too, especially since you’d been the one to kiss him first that day a few years back.

but how apt for you to go to sleep early and be woken up by dozens of messages blowing up your phone, the majority of them attaching pictures at a certain party.

still pictures of sae locking lips with kaori, and you feel your heart sinking.

sae’s message comes through just as you’re scrolling through your phone.

meet me at my place? not what it looks like, i promise.

and maybe it’s because you feel like you know sae well enough that you’re not even panicking. you respond within seconds.

sure, see you!

you take the liberty of going next door, entering when one of the other guys who lives there clumsily walks in drunk. it’s easy enough to find sae’s room, you recognise it from across your own room too well. and maybe it’s a slight invasion of privacy but you can’t help but turn your attention to his desk.

his room is all neat with the occasional laundry thrown on the corner of the room, trophies and medals on the bookshelf by the table. but what catches your eye is the little pink heart-shaped post-it note that looks all too familiar.

your handwriting fills the piece of paper.

i think you’re cute and i really really like you

you could cringe right now from how cringe you were being back then. but then you realise, sae kept this? did he keep this knowing it was from you? you hear the door opening downstairs and jump back a little, accidentally pressing on his keyboard while trying to place your note back in its position, and the screensaver that greets you renders you speechless.

it’s the picture sae took of the both of you at the bleachers of his first match.

someone closes the laptop before you can think any more, and you’re greeted with sae right next to you, cheeks flushed—either from alcohol or embarrassment. you can’t really tell, but judging from the lack of alcohol stench, you’d like to bet it’s the latter.

“you have me as your wallpaper?”

sae clicks his tongue, annoyed he didn’t get there in time for you not to see that. “who else would i put there?”

you bite your tongue to stop yourself from instinctively saying kaori out of spite. guess you’re still a little groggy from being woken up in the middle of the night.

“about earlier,” sae begins, not really sure how to continue.

“you mean the pics going around of you and kaori kissing?” you’re not even mad, you’re sure there’s an explanation—that’s how much you feel you know itoshi sae. he’s not the type to bother with leading someone on; if anything, he’s probably the type to immediately cut things off if he wasn’t interested and so far, he’s always been thinking of you.

sae sighs, rubbing his temple before taking a seat on his bed. “that was fucking stupid,” he grumbles, eyes closed. “she was way too tipsy and getting all up in my face and before i knew it she just—” his eyes are open now, briefly looking at you before looking away, hiding behind the sides of his soft locks, “she kissed me. i was stunned for a little so…”

you snicker a little, because sae looks so different from how he usually looks—aloof, ignorant, arrogant. now he looks like a puppy who’s been kicked to the side and you can’t help but notice the difference.

“sae… why are you telling me this?”

screw his indecisiveness, if it was in the first place. you want his answer now, up straight. and sae seems to know what you’re thinking because he chuckles, relieved because he can read your tone—you’re not angry, not upset, you trust him somehow and it’s only because despite what you think, you know him better than anyone else.

“fuck off, y/n, you already know,” and he says this affectionately because you can feel the tenderness in the way he says your name, in the way he invites you into his arms—the way he pulls you close and lets you sit facing him on his lap. “you gonna be my girlfriend now or what?”

your lips are so so close and you’re both holding back so so much. “mmm i don’t know, itoshi sae, what if i wanna see you beg me for it?”

“god, i hate you,” he says, without meaning it. it’s the first time you’re actually feeling how strong he is, because he lifts you up from the back of your thighs and throws you on his bed as he hovers over you, a little squeal leaving your lips at the unexpected gesture. “hm, kinda like that sound you make.”

he’s saying it so monotonously that you’re embarrassed. “shut up, sae, before i leave.”

“that’s cute, you think you’d actually leave me,” he teases, and you curse yourself for finding that slight condescending tone of his hot. “but hey, really, be my girlfriend.”

“you asking me that after kissing another girl?” you act shocked, acutely aware of how his fingers are all intertwining with yours, your hands on either side of your head, sae pinning you down. if anyone walked in now, they’d get the wrong idea of what you two are doing. for sure. but you try to act unbothered, you don’t want to boost his ego even more.

sae leans down to press his forehead against yours, and you’re hoping your heart doesn’t leap out of your chest because he’d definitely feel it. “shit timing, i know. but you’re the only one i want, so.”

he’s pretty shit at talking emotions, you realise. and then you realise that this only works because you’re equally good at reading his. despite his reluctance to talk emotions, he shows you how special you are, constantly.

many girls want him, but you’re the one he spends most of his time with. you’re the one with his actual clothes in your closet and his rings on your fingers. you’re the one sae kisses and willingly so, the only one who’s on his wallpaper reminding him of what he’ll have each time he comes home.

“i told kaori i liked you and no one else too,” sae continues explaining, though he really doesn’t need to. you listen anyway. “she got mad and stormed off but shit, i don’t care. only care about you.”

and he’s pretty forthcoming with his feelings when he wants to be and that’s enough for you. you squeeze his fingers lightly and smile at him.

you don’t have to hear any more to know.

“i love you too, itoshi sae.”

the way he marks you that night lets you in on everything you need to know.

UNIVERSITY: SENIOR YEAR

six years.

it’s been six years since you’d first had a crush on itoshi sae. and now you’re his girlfriend, always in the front row for every match and the object of most of his fangirls’ hatred. that’s okay though, none of that matters.

whenever you come back home to your (shared) apartment now, it’s like all your worries melt away into the void, and sae reminds you just how much you mean. even if his pet names are less than swoon-worthy at times.

“you really need to stop posting shit like this,” you deadpan, showing sae your phone screen. it’s a picture of you asleep in the morning, drooling on his bare shoulder.

sae blinks, acting coy like he always does. “what? it’s cute.”

“you’re insufferable, itoshi.”

sae ignores that, switching the subject. “hey, you have any goals for your twenties?”

you hum, pondering. “well, i guess if i could do what i want, i’d travel the world,” you pause, sitting up on the sofa and looking at him. “why?”

it’s the last year of university, and the both of you are finishing your degrees, with the possibility that sae might be getting a contract with one of the overseas clubs. you’re not really sure; there’s a few of them who’ve expressed interest, but you’d always let sae think through it on his own.

does his question have something to do with that?

“was thinking i wanted to take you along if you wanted to come with,” sae half explains, because he’s bad with details like that. he continues when he spots your confusion, “if you wanted to explore wherever i decided to go.”

oh, he means he wants to take you along to wherever he decided to go. you’re flattered, honestly.

“you mean, the itoshi sae wants to bring me wherever he goes, huh?” sae is already turning red, sensing your big head. “you offering to be my sugar daddy too?”

sae sighs. “you’re so stupid, i swear,” he complains, his words lacking any bite because he’s rubbing circles onto your arms. “you said you found some remote jobs right? thought we could make use of that and just go wherever together.”

after six years, you finally see sae trying to plan a future where the both of you are together. he loves soccer, but he loves you too, and you’re not the kind of person who’d make him choose, so you appreciate his compromises instead.

“itoshi sae, i’ll follow you wherever you go.”

he presses a hasty kiss on your lips, “good, ‘cause i plan on keeping you forever.”

you grin, pulling him down to you and kissing him even deeper, “i’ll hold you to your words, then.”

sae smiles against your lips. because he knows he got lucky with you, lucky you were there at the right moment, slipping your love letter into his locker. lucky you continued to like him, lucky you knew how to put him in his place whenever. lucky you’re you and you love him.

maybe he’s always liked you, even back in freshman year of high school when he realised how kind you are, how gentle you could be. you looked pretty in the sun that day, when he first saw you trying out soccer in the yard and falling flat on your ass. you didn’t notice him back then but he noticed you, not that you knew. sae didn’t try anything because he was sure it’d fail. but who knew all it took for his mind to change was a simple nudge from you?

he’s pretty sure that you’re his human manifestation of a forever.

“when the time comes, just say yes.”