I’ve Been Looking For A Place Just To Type, To Think. I Think I Found It.

Who are any of you?? I’m so confused… Love all of you tho!

I accidentally follow people so much on this site that i dont know who half the people on my dash are

Twitch

aimsey - Twitch

aimsey - Twitch

Aimsey’s (trying) to finish FNAF!! Come support them!!

Pretend, for a moment, that you’re an 18-year-old teenager from a family living below the poverty line.  One day, you make a silly mistake and get a ticket for it. Nothing major - maybe you rode the subway without a ticket or smoked too close to the entrance of a building. Maybe you were loitering. Either way, one thing is for sure: you definitely don’t have the money to pay the ticket.  So you don’t.  Eventually, you miss the deadline to pay your ticket, and you get a letter in the mail that says you have to go to court. But your life is chaotic, and a court date for a missed ticket is the least of your concerns. Your family moves constantly, which disrupts your life and puts you behind in school. You have one disabled parent and one parent who is always working, leaving you to raise your younger siblings by yourself. You have no means of transportation. There is rarely any food in the cupboards. The utilities are constantly getting shut off. The week that you were supposed to go to court, your family gets another eviction notice, your cousin ends up in the hospital, and your parent finds out that their disability payments are being reduced.  So you miss your court date.  Since you missed the court date, you automatically lose your case - now you have no hope of arguing your way out of the ticket, which you still can’t afford to pay. You can do community service hours instead of paying, but you don’t have time to do that, now that you have to work part-time and odd jobs on top of everything else to keep your parents off the streets and your siblings out of foster care. You know that you probably won’t finish high school on time, let alone fulfill your hours. You might be able to explain your circumstances to the judge, but you have no idea how to go about doing that now that you’ve missed your court date, your literacy skills are years behind thanks to your constant game of school roulette, and even though legal help is available to you, you don’t know how to access it or if you can afford to do so. But that’s still the least of your concerns - since you missed your court date, the judge has also charged you with failure to appear. 

Which means you now have an active warrant out for your arrest.  And just like that, you’re now a part of the criminal justice system. A silly mistake that a middle-class teenager could have solved with Mommy and Daddy’s chequebook in a single afternoon has caused you weeks or months of stress and headaches over a process you don’t fully understand, and has ended in criminal charges. Instead of having a funny story to tell over dinner when you come home from college next Thanksgiving, you are now facing additional fines (that you still can’t pay), the possibility of a couple of nights in jail, the possible suspension of your driver’s license, and the possibility of being taken into custody any time you interact with the police. The next time your parent comes home drunk and violent, or someone breaks into the house, you think twice about calling the cops - you now have to decide if every emergency is “worth” the possibility of being hauled off to jail. And in the meantime, the circumstances that caused that first mistake haven’t gone away - you still don’t have the money to pay for the subway, you are still more likely to live in a house filled with smokers, you still can’t afford quit-smoking aids, you still live in a chaotic household that deeply affects your mental health, and you still don’t understand the legal system or who you’re supposed to talk to for information and resources. So while those other teenagers get to go through life believing that they were “good kids who sometimes made silly mistakes”, you now get to go through life thinking of yourself as a criminal. And that might be the most damaging thing of all. 

When I worked with homeless teenagers and young adults, I saw this process play out again and again and again and again. The kids often considered themselves “criminals” or “bad kids” because they had arrest warrants and criminal records, but few of them had ever actually committed a serious or violent crime - the vast majority were simply unlucky kids who did something stupid and didn’t have the skills or resources (or wealthy parents) required to get them off the hook. I had classmates in my upper-middle-class high school who did far worse things with far fewer consequences, because Mommy was a lawyer or Daddy was an RCMP officer, and some of those kids grew up to be lawyers or police officers themselves. The kids I worked with never got that opportunity. Second chances cost money, and the difference between a “crime” and a “mistake” has less to do with the offense, and more to do with the circumstances you were born into. 

So when we’re talking about crime, punishment and who is “worthy” of being helped, maybe keep that in mind.

quick reminder that my own gay ass genuinely supports the hell outta each and every one of you. regardless if i know you or not, im happy to be living in this shithole of a life in the same world with you.

and im proud of you, i know in my heart just how beautiful, amazing, talented, smart, and worthy you are and i hope you can see that too🏳️‍🌈🌈

My favourite thing about the Xianle trio is just how sickeningly codependent close they are. Like, what do you mean you haven’t been friends in 800 years, your friend group fell out in the most painful and traumatic way it possibly could have, and you all have the absolute most reason to hate each other- but in The Cave Of 10,000 gods Mu Qing and Feng Xin were absolutely appalled at the disrespect to their prince. They were fiercely protective, refusing to let Xie Lian bear witness to what they thought was an incredibly perverted insult to his honour. They went toe-to-toe with one of the most terrifying ghosts who ever lived, all in defence of him, and did so without ever thinking twice. They dragged him through that cave system with desperately protective determination, caring for him fiercely despite being misinformed about the situation, and even though they had no obligation to. I’m biting people. Mu Qing and Feng Xin never stopped caring about Xie Lian. He’s no longer their prince, he’s no longer their employer nor even their friend, but they would still put their lives in peril for him. Even when they thought he was a violent criminal (Lang Qianqiu ily but pls kys) they visited his palace to give him medicine for his arm (something about Mu Qing brushing off his injury and saying it isn’t that bad cause all martial gods get injured, then being the first in line to go heal him is so sickening and vile I love him) and make sure he’s alright, then physically fought over the implications from each other about the other having been a bad friend. All of the bullshit trauma, all of the heartache, all of the reason they could have to not give a shit about him, and they were throwing hands over who was a better friend. I hate them. (I love them.)

Snow 💙

It’s snowing.💜

I hate spring. I hate spring ‘cause it makes me think of her. I thought I was over her, I got so used to ignoring the dull ache in my chest that I tricked myself into thinking that it had gone away. That I could feel normally for once, that I could fall for someone else, someone that would like me back. But then I started comparing them unconsciously. Because she’s perfect. Perfect in all the ways other than caring about me like I care about her. Which isn’t a flaw, and I respect her feelings. I understand I’m not entitled to her love, that I’m lucky enough to be her best friend. I thought I was finally over her. It’ll be seven years soon. Seven years of being in love with someone that doesn’t love me back. It’s stopped hurting now, more like an emptiness than an ache.

All the advice I’ve found for getting over someone is to point out their flaws to yourself, strip away the rose colored glasses and find reasons they aren’t the one, and to distance yourself from them, which I can’t do. I have stripped away the rose tint, years ago when I first told her how I felt, when she first told me she didn’t feel the same. But all the flaws I find only make me love her more. She’s too blunt, and can hurt people with it, but she never means to, and immediately apologizes and restates when she realizes it hurt someone. She’s incredibly competitive, which isn’t even a flaw. She’s exactly the kind of person I need, we’re opposites in almost everything. She runs hot and I run cold, but her hands are always cold and mine are always warm. She’s competitive and outgoing most of the time but in quiet moments she’s so soft and sweet and I’m soft and gentle most of the time, only more playful and outgoing when I’m with my friends. She listens to me ramble, even when she doesn’t really get it, which I don’t expect her to. She knows what I mean when I run out of words, or I get stuck on a word, or I can’t speak. She knows what I need even when I don’t know, and she never makes a big deal about it.

I miss her. We haven’t been the same since October. We used to be closer, physically I mean, we’re still about the same emotionally. I’m a very tactile person, and pre October she was one of my main sources of contact, whenever we were together we were always touching, but now it’s just, light touches here or there and it’s just,, different, somehow.

I don’t know, this is getting long and at this point I’m just rambling, but I don’t really have anyone to talk to about this, so.

YOU hates terfs

The Barbie movie: The Ken's need to find who they are outside of pursuing Barbies, a clear allegory for how real life men should not define themselves by trying to attract a partner and building their personality around that, something that would be healthier and better for them overall

Misogynists: barbie movie is so anti-men :(( how could they do this :((((