Hmmmmthings - Oops All Goblins

For a new campaign I’m putting together called:

Oops! All goblins.

I will be dissecting goblin lore to recognize them as a species of civilized humanoids (because being a humanoid implies being able to create a civilization) who are not pre-destined to be “evil”, but have culturally and phenotypically found themselves in a state where they must be.

Join, comment, I’m not a sociology major but I’ve read a book or two.

Survival is Working Together

A goblin deity that makes far more sense is Bargrivyek, the Goblin god of co-operation and order. Although this god does not offer an afterlife option, it does serve as a means of promoting a certain social behavior that is incredibly valuable to the Goblins.

Given their size and physical might, Goblins, much like humans, could only have expanded and survived as a species with sophisticated strategies of co-operation. In the DnD canon, what goblins lack in power they make up for in numbers. Despite having challenge ratings of 1 or below, a pre-planned Goblin ambush or a well-organized Goblin den, can catch even mid-level adventurers off guard.

Given the necessity of co-operation for survival, it logically follows that a God would be created to positively reinforce its importance. I will be attributing co-operation as one of the central cultural values of Goblins. Not only are they good at it, they are probably better at it than most other species. They do not have the luxury of making enemies or trying to fend for themselves. Goblins have to be the best at pack tactics or they would have been driven to extinction by predators and other species. Establishing the cultural importance of co-operation will also key us into a few other features of Goblin society.

Sifting through DnD lore on any “evil” race is like handling primary documents circa 1900s reviewing the peoples of “the dark continent”. Turn on your sociology brain, question everything, and re-construct in a way that remembers morality is subjective and history is written by the victors.

You know what’s more fun than worldbuilding that makes some fantasy races EEEEVIIIIIIILLLLL!!!!? Worldbuilding that gives the different races cultural differences that help explain why there’s a lot of conflict between them:

Goblin culture doesn’t have a concept of “Property”. A stick on the ground and a tool in a locked shed are equally up for grabs if a thing needs doing. They casually take and leave things all over their communities, eat from communal pots, and genuinely Do Not Understand why the Core Races are so Angry and prone to Violence all the time.

Consequently Goblins who live near Core communities develop a reputation as “Thieves” despite not even having a *word* for that. (The closest word they have is more like “Greedy” and it means a person that hides things so nobody else can use them, and it’s a surefire fight-starter to call a Goblin that)

Common Orc Spiritual beliefs hold that a Soul can only grow stronger by overcoming Challenges in life, and see intruding on another person’s Challenge unasked for as not just Rude, but Deeply Harmful. You’re Stealing their chance to Grow. Asking for help is deeply personal and doing so can be both a way to grow closer with them or a too-personal intrusion, depending on your existing relationship with them. An exception is Children, as far as most Orcs are concerned, all Children are fundamentally the responsibility of the Whole Community, regardless of whose child they are, or even if said child is an Orc at *all*.

This means that Orcs who live near Core neighbors often seem Rude and Standoffish if not outright hostile, because they neither ask for nor offer aid even in times of trouble, and respond to unasked for aid themselves with Anger. There are even rumors that they Steal Children, because if an Orc finds a child lost in the woods they’re pretty much immediately going to start feeding it, and if they can’t find where to bring it back to, or it doesn’t seem to be well cared for, they’re just gonna keep it. 

Midnight Train to Nowhere

*Disclaimer- this is absolutely inspired by (stolen from) that one episode of Drawfee where they came up with Carl Sedgebee and his magic train. I just wanted to do something with the idea.*

My friends call me Ace, so that’s what you can call me. I’m a conductor of a subway train in New York City. I’ve been one for a very long time.

I only work late nights so you probably don’t see me much. Not many do. I don’t work the Red or the Blue or the Yellow line. I’m not on the G or the L, thank God for that. No, the train I run goes all over the tracks. I go from 34th down to West 4th, then switch over to get to Broadway-Lafayette, then its up to Broadway by Astoria. Don’t try to make sense of it, it doesn’t. I hop from Astoria to Bay Ridge, South Ferry to Inwood. To get to the Blue on Staten Island I have to do a loop de loop off 14th street. It’s a tricky maneuver but I’ve gotten the hang of it. My train runs just under the tracks, or just over them, and straight through any other trains running. 

I suppose it’s a little bit of a ghost situation, but I assure you when I pull up to your station and you step onto the steel and aluminum floors of this fine specimen of an automotive- it is the feel of real beneath your feet alright. So ease your mind and take a seat. They’re all clean. Don’t worry. You’ve got the car all to yourself too, so spread out. This train’s never crowded. I like to maintain a personalized experience here. Lay down if you like and rest your eyes. I’ll wake you up when it’s your stop. Sleep for hours, we’ll still get there in seconds. 

You’re always glad to see my train pulling in. Cause I always appear when you need it most: when you end up on the wrong end of the line, but its 2 am and your apartment is on the other. When you’ve got an interview that you can’t miss, or you’ve just gotta get to Mt. Sinai, but an ambulance would be too expensive. I’ll get you there in no time. When the G or the L is stalled up for no reason, I can come and pick you up. We’re friends after all. 

All of my passengers are friends. I’m torn up to see you go, but I know I’ll see you again. In any case, it’s better than the alternative. That’s the real late night ride- that special ride I give to the unfortunate few who find themselves in their final moments on a subway platform. These are the folks for whom the subway’s the closest thing they call home. Most of them I’ve seen before, and offered a ride to a food bank, or just a ride through the night, spent in a warm place. If I could leave this train I’d do more. But a job’s a job, and I’ve got a job to do. So I’m grateful for what I can do. I’m grateful that I can offer those bygone souls a clean car, a warm seat, and a friend to take their final ride to the other side with. What’s a little bit of kindness for someone who has received so little?

How Gender Roles Form Out of Survival Strategies

If the goblins greatest asset is numbers, most goblin societies would encourage goblin woman (assuming goblin systems of reproduction are the same as humans) to have as many children as possible in order to keep the tribe safe. Though utilitarian, this idea isn’t so far-fetched, as we have seen something similar play out in human history. Before farming became automated part of the reason couples had so many children so regularly (aside from lack of birth control) was simply because more babies meant more farm hands down the line. Additionally, given that goblins are a constantly preyed upon group, having a lot of children because you know a few will die randomly, while a cut-throat concept, is not an illogical one.

Now, excessive reproduction as a tool for survival can result in a few things. A goddess of fertility could be created to represent an important process in their culture. The standard goblin relationship could be polyamorous, as more sexual partners means more children. Gender roles can be constructed to keep women devoted to rearing children and out of harm’s way.

As we have seen with humans though, these social constructs can be de-constructed. Maybe once goblins discover technology and craft tanks, lasers, and science-y stuff to defend themselves, strength in numbers will no longer be necessary and the average amount of children in a goblin household will shrink. Without the practical application, previously necessary gender roles will be merely tradition, and thus can be challenged.

In preparation for tonight I am officially declaring myself as #TeamAmetharNeedsToDie.

Personally I am delighted at this preview of Rime of the Frostmaiden...

all the tips I found for drawing a fantasy map are like :) “here’s a strategy to draw the land masses! here’s how to plot islands!” :) and that’s wonderful and I love them all but ??? how? do y'all decide where to put cities/mountains/forests/towns I have my map and my land but I’m throwing darts to decide where the Main Citadel where the Action Takes Place is