How My Stardew Farmers Meet Lance

Humbly asking for your horny Jio rant (≧ω≦。)!!!!

(I am ravenous for even the smallest of crumbs)

Summary: [RSV] Jio NSFW Alphabet (I pick my favorite letters so nothing's in order!) Warning(s): 18+ filth (Im not holding back, y'all have been warned) Kinda nothing tbh I'm literally just spitting from the mouth and hoping it makes sense. Rough Sex + Dub-con(?) (In letter D but it's Jio's imagination), Side note(s): Oh girl/boy/sibling...ANON BUCKLE UP. I struggled writing this ngl, I could write a fucking essay about how much this man means to me but I didn't want to use a ask to just rant away so...this is like a normal NSFW ABC fic but with some humor (my horny rantings) sprinkled in so lol, be on the lookout for those.

quick side note ; to the poor unfortunate souls that may come across this post don't have a single fucking clue who Jio is. This is Jio from the RSV mod aka the man I'd willingly slut myself out to.

extra note alert ; Before we begin though, I want to make one thing really clear.

I'm biased as all hell toward Jio because I have the biggest thing for elves. Woman, man, doesn't matter to me. If they have pointy ears and are unusually attractive and tall, then I'm all in dude. So with that being said? Please believe me when I say that stars shot from my eye sockets when I learned this man was an elf.

AND THAT'S NOT EVEN THE BEST PART.

A = Aftercare (What they're like after sex)

Jio would be the king of aftercare. His dialogue already implies that him and farmer get freaky on the regular so he'll definitely ask you if you need any water or if anywhere is a little more sore than the usual (in which case, he's giving you a massage that puts professionals to shame). But if you say no to any of these and state that you'd rather just cuddle, he's pulling you closer to his body immediately and whispering sweet words to you as he pets your head until you go to sleep.

♡ - "Drink," The soft-spoken word made you steadily crack your eyes open before, through your hazy vision, you saw Jio standing over you with a cup of water in his hand. You snickered quietly to yourself as you propped yourself on your arm to take it, the crispy refreshing taste of the liquid going down your throat both hydrating you as well as giving your body a jolt of awakeness. And as a delicious ache ran through your body, particularly in-between your legs after you and Jio's love-making session.

Your cheeks started to darken and warm a little at the memory of what you and your husband had done only a few minutes ago. Something that Jio quickly picked up on as he smirked at the alluring sight of you growing more and more embarrassed from your own thoughts. "Something on your mind, my love?"

B = Body Part (Their favorite body part of theirs and also their partner's)

Jio would definitely be proud of his muscles. There's a scene where the farmer openly gawks at him when he's meditating in his spouse area so I think after seeing his spouse so openly drool over him. He'd become more focused on his muscles when he trains and would definitely give the farmer a little show every now and again. As for the farmer, though? As cheesy as this response is, I think Jio would love every part of you, there's no part that he favors really because he thinks your literal being is a blessing in his eyes. This means there's definitely a lot of body worship during sex.

♡ - You felt like you were on cloud nine right now as Jio kissed every available surface area of skin on your body.

Each time his lips would ghost over your skin. The more your thighs twitched with the urge to clench if it weren't for your husband situating himself between them, his hand teasingly petting at your soaked cunt much to your dismay. "J-Jio..." You begged, the sound of your whiny voice making the elf throb in his pants before he looked up at you through hooded eyes. He placed one last kiss on your hand before he responded with a throaty "Yes"?

"Please..."

You hated how you felt yourself throb at the sight of him smirking at you, almost as if he were a fox who just an inch closer to capturing his prey. "Please what, my star?" He turned your hand over to press a kiss in the middle of your palm before he moved down to your stomach, kissing down and closer and closer to the area you wanted him most until he stopped again. "You have to be more specific, begging aimlessly won't get you anywhere."

You pouted. "T-There." You tried gesturing to your aching pussy by grinding forward against his clothed dick, eliciting a sharp hiss from him. Yet, as quickly as you tried to seduce him into giving up on reminding you of his manners, he moved back a little to avoid any more of your tempting ministrations.

"You know how to ask properly, not by acting like a tempting vixen." He pinched your thigh lightly as a warning, a whine escaping your lips as you ran your tongue over them.

"Please...touch my pussy, I-I need you."

His praising smile felt like it could light up your very soul. "As you wish, my star."

C = Cum (Anything to do with cum basically)

Okay so— I feel like when it comes to Jio himself? He's not big on cumming on you. Since he sees as no less than a goddess basically, in his eyes? Cumming on you is degrading, no matter how much you try to convince him that you're into it. However, cumming inside of you is definitely on the books, he loves it. As for you though? This man is a total Munch Master 365 days out of the year. Want to ride his face until he squirts on you? He's into it. When he fucks you and he sees your slick beginning to drip from your hole and onto the floor, he has to resist the urge to eat you out in order to continue stuffing you full. Your cum is essentially ambrosia to him, he could go hours drinking you down and he's never going to be fully satisfied.

♡ - He couldn't get enough of your sweet nectar.

Your delicious slick that dripped from your needy cunt after just a few minutes of foreplay. Jio would've had a mind to laugh if he weren't so focused on sucking on your clit right now, his arms locked around your thighs to keep you from closing them as you moaned and pulled at his hair, the stinging pain encouraging him to keep going in his ministrations whilst he struggled to try and keep a close eye on you.

But, from the combined fact that his head was swirling from both your taste and his growing lust, as well as his bare cock twitching against the bedsheets, the little friction it had from his grinding against the sheets only did enough to make him needier and needier for your warmth rather than actually getting him off!

Then again, in the face of your pleading eyes looking down at him in a silent bid for him to keep going until you came...

How was he able to deny such an expression?

D = Dirty Secret (Pretty self-explanatory, a dirty secret of theirs)

He definitely would've had a dirty imagination about you once or twice before you two even started dating. However, they would mostly be along the lines of "Yoba, this farmer is so annoying because they say hi to me every day...let me fuck them to take my frustrations out on them". Now, when these thoughts would pop up, he would definitely try to bury them, to the point no matter how hard his dick if after thinking about it. He's not going to falter and touch himself. But oh boy, does it cause him to start to see you in a new light after starting to think about what you look like under your clothes.

♡ - Typically, Jio was in control of himself much more than this.

He wasn't aware of a single thing in this world that could shake his foundations or make him waver in his beliefs. But...it seemed that you were a unique exception because, for the last few nights since the night the two of you began talking since your victory in the Spirit World. His mind has been...plagued, with certain imaginations that is.

Imaginations that focused on the topic of how annoyed he was of you.

It was infuriating how you didn't understand the words 'Go Away'.

So, in the deepest reaches of his mind, he knew the perfect method to make you understand how much he disliked you. He'd approach you in a forest, perhaps you would already be on your way to talk to him one-sidedly once more, and he'd pull you towards him before smashing his lips against you.

His cock would twitch inside his pants at the sound of your needy moan, eager and possibly elated at the fact that you were finally getting the attention you were seeking from the very beginning as Jio swiftly pressed you against the bark of a tree and flip up your skirt.

"Tch," He click his tongue at the sight of your soaked panties, lightly pinching your backside when you wiggled your ass to tempt him into giving you more. "...Such a needy thing, hold still. I'll give you what you so eagerly want." He'd whisper, more to himself rather than you as he quickly freed his cock and wasted no more time to pull your panties to the side before he stuffed you full in one thrust.

Yet the second he'd begin to move...he'd snap himself of his thoughts.

Now the elf was faced with a new task. To find a way to calm his raging hard-on, he refused to fall into the pit of temptation that he was so certain you were trying to lead him into.

extra note ; Continuing on my last point—

He's. A. Tsundere.

He's. Mean (with that hidden sweet side to spice it all up)

And not to expose myself but I fucking love mean men. And to be honest? I'll go a step further. THEY DON'T EVEN HAVE TO BE NICE??? During the Ridgeside quest line, the first two years of my playthrough revolved around J I O, and with every single mean dialogue he dished my way, I licked right up.

I = Intimacy (How are they during the moment? The romantic aspect)

I think of Jio as a half-in-half case. On most nights, he's super romantic and likes to treat your body as if it was gifted to him by Heaven itself (i.e If you're not confusing the moment for a Wattpad scene then he's thinking he hasn't done enough). On the flip side though, he'll ditch the romance if he's super pent-up or if you're explicitly asking for him to treat you a lil' more roughly.

♡ - His heart felt like it was close to bursting.

Within the dimly lit room of your shared bedroom, the soft sounds of your sexes meeting could be heard as he trusted up into you as you sat on his lap, the two of you sharing a hugging embrace as his cock twitched inside of you at the sound of your moans.

But, his orgasm was steadily becoming an afterthought as all Jio could focus on was you. After all that he had been through in his life, all the sacrifices he's made—

How could he be so lucky to be with you in this moment?

To have your love and attention?

"My love," He panted out, his voice uncharacteristically breathless and whiny as he nearly pleaded for your eyes to be on him. Shakily, you took your face from the crook in his neck to look at him, your hands sliding up his body until they cupped his face. And from that simple action alone, the elf had fallen deeper in love with you.

"Y-Yes" You responded to him, your face somehow warming even more as you looked into your husband's lovesick eyes. A small smile was on his smile and his cheeks as well as the tips of his ears appeared flushed.

Jio smiled as you caressed and held his cheeks before his face fell to rest in the valley between your breasts. "You're so pretty." He sighed dreamily.

J = Jack Off (Masturbation Headcanon)

He doesn't jerk off much, to be honest. (And to be honest? I feel like his libido doesn't really "activate" unless you're around him) Even when you two are in a relationship and I fully believe it's because 1. He's usually too busy/focused on his missions to think of rubbing one out or 2. He has you so if he's in the mood then he'll just go to you. But should you not be in the picture at the moment? He'll just get himself off to a piece of clothing that smells like you or his imagination.

♡ - "Fuuckk..." Jio whispered to himself as he sat on the edge of the bed, his hand slowly stroking his cock as he breathed in the smell of your scent from a shirt you left behind on the bed. The combination of that plus the imagination of your hands being the one on his dick rather than his own...it made for a pretty convincing moment that led him closer and closer to his orgasm.

It wasn't often that the elf masturbated. It wouldn't ever compare to the real thing.

But...when you said you'd be on Ginger Island for the next few days to attend to businesses there, he was expected to uphold the task of keeping things here on your farm in order.

And he'd do just that.

However, he didn't expect that his body would react so strongly to your absence. Even as his ministrations on himself slowly got faster and faster on his cock, going so far as to even spit on his dick to try and poorly imitate your slick and how it'd make your movements faster.

It was dull in comparison.

So dull that as his hands slowed and he came to a stop. All he felt was boredom. "...Yoba," He hissed in frustration.

He'd simply wait until you returned.

final note alert ; I saved my biggest thought bubble for the end so here we go-

Jio is the best-modded husband hands-down. Literally fight me on this. It's hard to convey my thoughts fully without giving concrete evidence (+ the fact that I'm going based off my memory since I haven't done a playthrough of the RSV questline in a lil' bit) but I think that anyone who's on the fence of RSV needs to give it a shot, even if it's just for Jio 💀. Like deadass, the whole reason I started this blog in the first place was to have a reason to rant about this man every now and again before it became a place for me to rant about hot people in general.

To reiterate, I'm biased as hell because I have a thing for elves and mean guys but seriously to anyone who reads this.

GIVE RSV A TRY.

Hot elf guy aside, the character stories in the mod are super good. Like I'd recommend Shiro, June, Ian etc. ANYDAY OF THE WEEK. I can't imagine my modded Stardew without Ridgeside Village so-

YEAH PLAY THE MOD SO I HAVE MORE PEOPLE TO RANT ABOUT THE HOT MEN WITH <33

With Valentine's Day just around the corner, I'll be writing stories and mini skits featuring my farmer OCs and their NPC lovers as they navigate mundane, romantic, or even chaotic moments during the holiday.

Additionally, with the recent release of Maggs Immersive Alex Romance Dialogue and Events (x)Spicy or Sweet 1.6 by @maggplays, I'll be writing one-shots about my new farmer and Alex, exploring their interactions in each cutscene. Since I’ve never written fanfics about Alex before, this will be a fun challenge for me. ( ╹▽╹ )

Summary: My farmer, Isaria invites Caldarus to the Shooting Star Festival, offering him a rare moment of peace beneath the starlit sky. As they watch the stars fall, they share quiet conversations about fate, memory, and what truly matters. In the hush of the night, something unspoken lingers between them. a warmth, a connection, a fleeting glimpse of something more.

The Shooting Star Festival had arrived, painting the night sky with shimmering trails of light. The air was thick with the scent of earth and pine, the cool summer breeze carrying the distant laughter and murmured wishes of the townsfolk gathered in Mistria’s heart. Yet, Isaria found herself far from the bustling celebration, her path winding deep into the woods where the ancient temple lay hidden beneath the moon’s gentle glow. In her hands, she held a delicate star-shaped brooch, its polished surface glinting under the celestial glow. It was a token of invitation, a gesture she hoped a certain guardian dragon would accept, now that he stood in his physical form, bound to the earth in a way he had not been for centuries.

Her heart quickened as she approached the temple’s clearing, where the draconic guardian stood beneath the branches. He was a vision against the night, his long turquoise hair cascading over his shoulders like silk spun from the ocean’s depths, his golden eyes reflecting the starlight above. There was something otherworldly about him still, despite the humanity he now carried, as if the very fabric of time wove around him differently.

Isaria stepped forward, extending the brooch toward him. “I thought you might like to have this.” she said, her voice steady but carrying an underlying sincerity.

Caldarus took the brooch carefully, his fingers brushing against hers for the briefest moment. He examined the design, his expression shifting from curiosity to recognition. “A brooch? Now where have I seen this design before?” He paused, lost in thought, before his eyes widened in recognition. “Ah! Are you asking me to join you tonight to watch the stars? I—” He hesitated, his voice softer now, touched by something that almost resembled wonder. “I gratefully accept your invitation.”

A small smile curved Isaria’s lips. “I’m glad.” she admitted, feeling a weight she hadn’t noticed lift from her chest.

Caldarus nodded solemnly before glancing toward the trees. “I will need to guide you through a secret path in the woods to reach the summit, for I should not stray too far from its protection in my current state.”

“I understand.” she assured him. “I’ll follow wherever you lead.”

His expression softened at that, something unreadable flickering in his gaze before he inclined his head. “Do not worry, Isaria, I will take care to conserve my energy. Let us meet tonight at 8 PM. I am looking forward to it.”

And so, at the appointed time, Isaria found herself beside him once more, the two ascending the hidden trail that wound its way up through the dense canopy. The climb was steep, but with each step, the trees thinned, revealing the heavens in their full, breathtaking expanse. When they finally emerged at the summit, a vast stretch of night unfolded before them, endless and glittering, the stars pulsing like embers scattered across the dark.

Caldarus stood still for a long moment, gazing outward with an expression of quiet awe, his golden eyes reflecting the celestial glow above. The sky painted in endless shades of indigo and silver, stretched vast and unbroken before them, alight with the brilliance of countless stars. He exhaled softly, his voice barely more than a whisper carried by the wind.

“I wonder…” he murmured, more to himself than to her, his tone laced with something akin to longing. “How long has it been since I last saw this particular view?”

Isaria turned to him, watching how the starlight illuminated his features, casting an almost ethereal glow upon his skin. He looked as if he belonged to the night itself, a being woven from shadow and light, standing at the precipice of something long-forgotten. There was a stillness in him, as though he were caught between memory and reality, his presence both grounded and untethered all at once.

“Does it feel familiar?” she asked softly, her voice gentle against the hush of the wind.

For a moment he did not answer, his gaze remaining fixed upon the heavens as if searching for something just out of reach. When he finally spoke, his words were measured, careful.

“Perhaps.” he admitted, a slow breath leaving him. “Though time distorts memory in strange ways.”

A comfortable silence settled between them, filled only by the whisper of the breeze and the distant rustle of the trees. The night was alive with the quiet hum of existence, the kind of silence that spoke louder than words. Above them, the sky continued its celestial dance, streaks of silver and gold cascading in fleeting brilliance.

Then, after a moment, Caldarus turned his golden gaze back to her, something unspoken lingering in his expression.

“Thank you for inviting me out here this evening, Isaria.”

His words, though simple, carried a weight that settled deep within her chest. There was a sincerity in his voice that made her smile, warmth blooming beneath her chest like the soft flicker of candlelight.

“I am glad to see this custom continues to withstand the passage of time.” he continued, his voice quieter now, touched with reverence. “Mistrians once referred to the practice as Starbinding, you know. An apt name, indeed. Humans, despite being mortal or perhaps because they are mortal, tend to be particularly sensitive to the bonds that their souls form throughout their lifetimes.”

Isaria tilted her head slightly, the words stirring something within her, a quiet curiosity threading through her thoughts. “So it really binds people together?”

Caldarus let out a soft chuckle, the sound low and rich, carrying an almost wistful note. “Well, think of it this way.” he said, his gaze returning to the sky. “You will encounter many souls on the journey through this life. Some will slip by the edges without much notice... and others.”

His voice faltered for the briefest moment, and for the first time that evening, a faint blush dusted his cheeks. The subtle shift did not go unnoticed, and Isaria found herself watching him with quiet amusement as he quickly cleared his throat, regaining his composure.

“Mind you, that is not to say that every connection is a joyful one.” he continued, his voice steadier now, though something unspoken lingered beneath his words. “Every hero’s story needs a villain, after all. And of course… some souls you encounter are unable or unwilling to see your light.”

Isaria frowned slightly, considering his words. The weight of them pressed against her thoughts, stirring emotions she could not quite place. After a moment, she met his gaze, searching for something she was not sure she would find.

“But the ones that are meant to… always do?” she asked, her voice quiet yet certain.

His golden eyes softened, and for a moment, the distant expression he often carried seemed to fade, replaced by something far more tender.

“Yes.”

They fell into silence once more, though this time, it felt different, deeper, as though something unspoken had settled between them, threading its way through the fabric of the moment. Together, they watched as the stars continued their descent, luminous streaks painting the heavens in fleeting brilliance. Eventually, Caldarus turned his attention back to her, studying her with a contemplative look as though seeing something beyond what was before him.

“I suppose that is where this tradition comes into play.” he mused, his voice almost thoughtful. “Two souls, each casting their light with intention. Combined with the starlight above. It creates quite the beacon, you see. Guiding us to each other across many lifetimes.”

Isaria listened, his words settling deep within her, stirring an ache of familiarity she could not explain. There was something poetic about it, something that made her chest tighten in a way she did not fully understand.

Before she could speak, he exhaled, his voice laced with regret. “Forgive me… I wish that my memory was clearer. I cannot recall if we stood here together once, in another life.”

She turned to him, her eyes warm with quiet understanding as she met his gaze. A small, knowing smile touched her lips. “It’s okay.” she said softly. “I don’t recall either.”

For a moment, Caldarus simply stared at her, as if trying to process her words. Then a chuckle escaped him, soft at first then growing into something more real, more open. It was rare to see him like this, unguarded and free. The sight of it made Isaria laugh too, her voice light and natural against the quiet night.

He looked at her then, as if trying to remember something just out of reach. “Isaria…” he murmured, as though her name itself might unlock a hidden memory. His voice held something gentle, almost grateful, like he hadn’t expected her answer but found comfort in it all the same.

She only chuckled again, giving a small shrug. There was no need to chase something they couldn’t remember. Not now. Not when this moment was enough.

Caldarus watched her for a little longer before another laugh slipped from him, deeper this time, filled with genuine amusement. He shook his head slightly, a rare smile still lingering on his face. His laughter blended into the quiet sounds of the forest, the rustling leaves, the distant chirping of insects making the night feel more alive.

Her response had surprised him. Most people held tightly to the past, always searching for meaning, hoping to understand the bonds that tied them to others. But Isaria didn’t. She wasn’t afraid of not knowing. She wasn’t desperate for answers. And somehow, that was comforting.

Maybe that was why he laughed. Because for once, he didn’t have to know everything. He didn’t have to search for proof. He could just… be.

Finally, his laughter faded, and his golden eyes softened as they met hers again. “I suppose this kind of uncertainty is to be expected from a mortal—” He hesitated, then quickly corrected himself, his voice quieter now. “From a mortal perspective.”

A short pause followed, the space between them filled with unspoken thoughts. Then, as if making a decision, he spoke again, his voice calm yet certain. “In that case… I will choose to believe.”

She tilted her head slightly, curiosity flickering across her features. “Believe what?”

Caldarus’s golden eyes softened, his gaze steady as if weighing his next words carefully. “That we, like the stars, have simply returned at the appointed time…”

His voice was quiet, yet it carried a certainty that settled between them, delicate yet powerful, as though he had spoken some ancient truth. The meaning behind his words lingered in the space between them, unspoken yet understood. They held each other’s gaze, and in that silence, something intangible passed between them, something that did not rely on memory or logic but on a feeling, deep and undeniable.

The night air was cool, carrying the distant sounds of the forest, the rustling of leaves, the occasional call of an unseen creature. For a moment, it felt as though the world had shrunk to just the two of them beneath the vast sky, standing in the quiet presence of something greater than themselves.

Then, just as the moment threatened to settle into something almost tangible, a faint tremor ran through Caldarus’s frame.

“Ah.”

The sound was barely more than a breath, but it was enough to break the stillness. Isaria’s brows knitted together, concern flashing in her eyes. “Caldarus?”

He did not answer right away. His posture remained composed, his expression as measured as ever, but there was something different now. A weariness in the way he stood, a subtle tension beneath his usual grace. When he finally spoke, his voice was steady, but there was a quiet strain beneath it. “My body...I am beginning to feel somewhat fatigued.”

Isaria’s heart clenched at his words. Without hesitation, she stepped closer, her voice laced with quiet urgency. “Are you alright?”

Caldarus met her gaze and offered a small, reassuring smile, but it did little to ease the worry pressing against her chest. “Do not trouble yourself.” he said gently. “I am simply not yet accustomed to leaving the protection of the woods. I-I just need a moment.”

She watched him closely as he shifted slightly, attempting to straighten, but she did not miss the faint unsteadiness in his movements. The night’s quiet beauty and the distant glow of the stars, it all faded into the background, her focus narrowing to him and the exhaustion that now clung to him like a shadow.

“Why don’t we get you home?” she suggested, her voice softer now. There was no need for stubbornness, no need to push through weariness when rest was within reach.

Caldarus did not answer immediately. Instead, he studied her for a long moment, as if committing her face to memory beneath the silver glow of the stars. There was something almost unreadable in his expression, something distant yet present, as though he were standing in two places at once, one in this moment, and another somewhere far away.

Finally, he exhaled and his shoulders relaxed ever so slightly. “I would like that.” he admitted, his voice carrying a quiet sincerity. “I can prepare us some tea, and we can watch the last of the stars through the canopy.”

A soft breath of relief left her lips, and she allowed herself a small smile. “That sounds perfect.”

Without hesitation, he extended his hand toward her. The gesture was both firm and gentle, his fingers slightly curled in invitation. “Come.” he murmured, his voice steady despite his earlier fatigue. “Take my hand. I will guide you back.”

She did not hesitate. Her fingers curled around his, warmth meeting warmth despite the cool night air. His grip was strong, reassuring, yet there was a quiet vulnerability in the way he held onto her, not as one who merely led, but as one who was willing to be led in return.

Together, they descended from the summit, the quiet hum of the forest wrapping around them like a whispered lullaby. The journey back was slow but peaceful, the glow of fireflies flickering like tiny stars among the trees, their faint golden light weaving between the branches. The air was crisp, filled with the scent of damp earth and wildflowers, and above them, the heavens stretched endlessly, silver beams of starlight slipping through the canopy as if bidding them farewell.

When they finally arrived at his temple, the familiar warmth of the sacred place embraced them. Though fatigue still lingered in his frame, Caldarus moved with quiet purpose, his motions smooth and practiced as he set about preparing tea. The rich, earthy scent of herbs filled the air, curling between them like mist, a quiet contrast to the night’s lingering chill.

They settled beneath the temple’s eaves, sitting side by side as the last of the shooting stars streaked across the heavens. Neither spoke, but the silence between them was not empty. It was a presence all its own, comfortable and lingering, filled with the quiet clink of teacups against stone, the faint rustle of fabric as one of them shifted, the steady rhythm of their breaths in the cool night air.

Above them, the stars shone on, indifferent to time, indifferent to memory. And perhaps, in the grand scheme of the universe, it did not matter whether they had met once before or whether their souls had returned, drawn together like celestial bodies in a vast and endless sky.

Because in this moment, they were here now. And for tonight, that was enough.

Summary: After stumbling upon a mysterious stone on Ginger Island, Rosemary unwittingly activates a portal to an unfamiliar realm, Terraria. Pulled into a bizarre and perilous world, she must navigate its dangers while searching for a way back home. All while acquiring an unusual collection of souvenirs, including a rather explosive pet. Meanwhile, her sudden disappearance throws her loved ones into chaos, sparking a frantic search across the world to bring her back.

A/N: This story was inspired by a tumblr post from @studentinpursuitofclouds about the Farmer opening a portal to Terraria for the Meowmere and ending up stranded. I couldn’t resist turning it into a full story! I love the idea of Rosemary getting isekai’d into Terraria, unfazed, while everyone in Stardew Valley panics. Expect adventure, chaos, and dramatic reactions when she returns. Hope you enjoy it as much as I did writing it!

The story is a bit long, so you can read it on my AO3! That’s right, I finally have an AO3 account after what feels like a thousand years!

After SVE 2.0 Update...

Isaac: Look I'm not in love with Farmer. I like them just as much as that next monster I killed.

Lance: .... ಠ◡ಠ

Isaac: I mean, I clearly have feelings for them, but feelings don't mean love.

Jadu: .... ಠಿ_ಠ

Isaac: Do I have feelings for Farmer? Sure! But that doesn't mean that I.... I-! Oh mygawd! I'm inlove with Farmer!

Alesia: .... (눈‸눈)

Isaac: *slams desk* Why didn't you tell me!

Lance: *chuckles* We thought you knew.

Isaac: Wha-! WE!? (●__●)

Camilla: We all knew. We talk about it all the time. (๑¯◡¯๑)

Lance: Everyone this is my brother-in-law, Jio. Don't mind his glare, that's just how he says hello.

His colleagues: His an elf?

Lance: Yes, I know that. Next question?

~~~~~

Daia: So your brother-in-law is an adventurer mage from the First Slash?

Jio: Hmm

Daia: Does the Seer know about this?

Jio: At this rate, the Lady probably knows about it and is displease.

Hi! I was searching through some about SVE fanfics and didn't find much, I was starting to lose hope but then I found yours. Thank you for sharing your amazing ideas and stories. They made me really happy. Please keep writing more! ❤️☺️

I also have a fun idea for a headcanon/fic with these two guys Lance and Jio. In my world, I have two farmers and both are sisters, Lance married the first sister and Jio also married the second. Which makes Lance and Jio are brother-in-laws. Makes me wonder how those two get along while living together on the same roof with their wives. With their personalities are complete opposites with each other.

Hewwo :3 Thank you very much for your kind words, dear anon! 💕 It gives me great pleasure to write about this game and my favorite mods. I'm glad you're enjoying it too, and hope you enjoy the little headcanon about the interaction between these two (I love the opportunity to write about the Lance and Jio dynamic, so many possibilities for a funny scenario!).

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The encounter was... awkward and a little tense, to say the least. Neither Lance nor Jio had caused each other any problems, not at all. But the lives of both had changed dramatically, for sure.

Firstly, Lance was struck by the fact that elves, a race that is thought to be extinct, is actually far from extinct. At least one living representative stands right in front of him. Jio's disguise won't fool Lance's violet eyes: he can see through the enchantment. Naturally, the curious adventurer will have a bunch of questions, which, naturally, the antisocial elf does not want to answer. This situation can be described as, "This is Jio, he likes his personal space. And this is Lance, he likes Jio's personal space." Lance isn't that intrusive, but let's be honest - a living elf who is now a brother-in-law.... Lance won't miss an opportunity to shower Jio with questions, and he's pretty stubborn. Although the elf is also stubborn as well. It's hard to say who would win.

Secondly, is the realisation and distinction of their unconventional professions. As far as we know, the Cult of the Lady with the Red Tail is not an official organisation, but is even a criminal clan engaged in assassination. At least, most people don't know the motive of the cult's followers and only listen to gossip about the next murder of someone unknown politic. Only Jio, his friends and his lover know that these people are no longer people, but soulless puppets of Gabriella, but still their cult deservedly has the status of "dangerous". Lance, on the other hand, is an adventurer and the right-hand man of The First Slash Clan. All of the Clans and the Ministry of Magic have an unspoken neutrality with the Cult, but each side always has a hand on the hilt of the sword if one side starts to get dangerous. Lance understands the situation perfectly well, so he approaches it rather cautiously. He truly understands the motive of Jio and the others, tho he's not too fond of the methods. But he also loves his spouse and will try to keep peace both within the family and among the Clan and Guilds. Lance is a good diplomat.

Despite their different personalities, the two have settled in quite peacefully. Lance occasionally teases the elf, and Jio can point his katana in Lance's direction (it doesn't come to fights, because they both don't want to upset and anger their sisters' wives), but they can become friends. Even if they don't socialise, just sit in complete silence.

If the sisters want to introduce their husbands to their friends and family..... Jio's and Lance's reactions might be different. Of course, Lance will present himself as an adventurer, while Jio will make up a story (for "assassin elf" doesn't sound like... much) for the friends and parents of the two farmers. If it's about friends who are also adventurers, or with Daia, Kiwi and other Cult members... This is where both men will try to delay the meeting a bit to figure out how not to create conflict. Belinda certainly won't be thrilled that one of her long-time friend's granddaughters having an adventurer as a spouse, and the Ministry of Magic will be tearing their hair out when Lance introduces his 'brother in law' to them. It's a delicate matter, so you have to be careful here. It'll take time, but everyone will get used to this chaotic family. Especially since the sister farmers have done more chaotic things before, and it all ended peacefully.

A few hours ago, I finished watching the live stream of "Epic the Musical: Wisdom Saga". I'm still not over with the stream being cutoff. I was distraught when it ended abruptly and everyone in the chat be like: "Captain captain captain" "About to hand off so many torches" and funniest part I saw in the stream,"Why would you let Youtube ban the stream when ruthlessness is mercy."

Just had this unhinged crossover headcanon about my FOM farmer, Isaria, she's the cousin of my two SDV farmer sisters, Cerise and Rosemary. Now, imagine a family reunion where they introduce their lovers to each other. If you're confused, here's the lineup: Isaria is with Caldarus, Cerise is with Jio, and Rosemary is with Lance.

Now, picture how awkward that would be.

Caldarus is a dragon guardian of Mistria, Lance is a combat mage from the First Slash Clan, and Jio is not only an assassin but also an elf and a member of the Cult of the Lady with the Red Tail. Lance would probably be thrilled to meet an actual dragon, while Jio ever the cautious one would find Caldarus intimidating. Meanwhile, Caldarus though outwardly polite for Isaria’s sake, would remain on high alert, sensing the intense auras between these two men… and even those of Isaria’s cousins, especially Cerise.

Still out of respect for his farmer, he keeps his composure. But oh boy, the tension in that room would be off the charts.

[𝙵𝚊𝚖𝚒𝚕𝚢 𝚁𝚎𝚞𝚗𝚒𝚘𝚗 – 𝚃𝚑𝚎 𝙲𝚑𝚊𝚘𝚝𝚒𝚌 𝚈𝚎𝚝 𝚂𝚘𝚖𝚎𝚠𝚑𝚊𝚝 𝙲𝚒𝚟𝚒𝚕𝚒𝚣𝚎𝚍 𝙶𝚊𝚝𝚑𝚎𝚛𝚒𝚗𝚐]

[Cerise, Rosemary, and Isaria stand together while their partners linger nearby. The air crackles with unspoken tension.]

Lance: *grinning, composed yet intrigued* A dragon guardian… Quite the rare sight. It is an honor to meet you.

Caldarus: *soft-spoken, yet watchful* And you must be the mage Isaria spoke of. The honor is mine.

Jio: *arms crossed, unimpressed* A dragon, a mage, and an assassin in one room. Sounds like the start of a bad joke.

Rosemary: *muttering* More like a disaster waiting to happen.

Lance: *chuckles* Oh, I assure you, I mean no trouble. Though I must admit, meeting a dragon is… fascinating.

Caldarus: *calmly observing both men* Likewise. It is rare to stand among those who carry such powerful auras.

Jio: *lowers voice, glancing at Cerise* I don’t trust him.

Cerise: *calmly sips tea* You don’t trust anyone.

Isaria: *forcing a smile* Okay! Let’s all just sit down and eat, yes? No battles, no tension, just a nice, peaceful meal.

[Caldarus offers a polite nod, ever the composed guardian. Jio remains wary, and Lance though clearly intrigued respects the unspoken boundaries. Out of respect for their partners, they all (reluctantly) take their seats.]

Rosemary: *whispering to Cerise* Ten gold says something breaks before dessert.

Cerise: Make it twenty.

𝗜 𝗵𝗮𝘃𝗲 𝟰 𝗙𝗮𝗿𝗺𝗲𝗿 𝗢𝗖𝘀, 𝘀𝗼 𝘁𝗵𝗶𝘀 𝗶𝘀 𝗵𝗼𝘄 𝗲𝗮𝗰𝗵 𝘀𝗰𝗲𝗻𝗮𝗿𝗶𝗼 𝗴𝗼𝗲𝘀 𝘄𝗶𝘁𝗵 𝗪𝗿𝗲𝗻:

Aleia

Before she fell down the shaft, Aleia accidentally grabbed on Wren's shirt and they both fall together. Ouch! That's gotta hurt. Atleast the floor they landed on are full of iridium ore and its monster free zone!

Rosemary

For Wren, she doesn't need to push Rosemary because by the time the red haired girl saw a hole, she immediately jump down with no hesitation. Good thing there's no broken bones or else another trip to Harvey's clinic and have to listen a tirade from her worrywart of a sister and boyfriend.

Cerise

Cerise immediately step aside, thinking its some monster pushing her down, she look just to see Wren about to fall down and with fast reflex grabbed her shirt to stop her fall. "Phew that was a close one. Are you okay?" and Wren just gives her the thumbs up.

Thalia

Thalia just grabbed on to Wren's collar and scream, "If I go down. You go down with me!" and they fall 15 floors down. Oof! Landed on with a few broken bones and look its an infested floor. Great!

wren pushes ur farmer down a shaft in the skull mines just to see how deep it is before she jumps in

Forget the moms. I just find these two *pointing at Lance and Farmer* looking so beautiful together. 😳

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