─── 𝐖𝐇𝐎𝐋𝐄
─── 𝐖𝐇𝐎𝐋𝐄
+ sae x f!reader | wc 4.9k | content: angst, fluff, some making out, implied sex, stupid teenager phase
notes: sobs this was not supposed to be this long … one of y’all need to stop me from writing about this man !! i love him too much, pls send help </3 extra: this is the song playing in the last scene :’)
summary: sae has few interests, and one of them is you. but sometimes, being special just isn’t enough.
you’ve always been special.
ever since age three when your family moved across the street from where the itoshis lived. ever since age five when you finally gathered the courage to talk to the pair of brothers. ever since age six when sae invited you to play with him and rin. ever since age seven when you cried because someone bullied you at the playground and sae wiped away your tears. ever since age ten when both of you played with paper rings. ever since age eleven when you and sae would talk endlessly at night through the phone and get nagged at by your parents when they found out.
ever since age twelve when you told sae you’d watch him become the best soccer player in the world by his side.
your presence bleeds into sae’s life and he can’t think about anything without relating it to you; like how his breakfast tastes like ass when you’re not smearing your stupid peanut butter on it because apparently peanut better goes well with everything is your phase at that point of time. like how he’s walking home and he’ll always have to crane his head to the right just to check if you’re on your front porch swing, because if you are, he’ll wave and then you’ll smile and wave back, and sae would feel like it’s a special code you two share.
you’re probably the only thing he pays his spare attention to. and rin. you, rin, soccer. that’s all.
you complain way too much, especially at the fact that sae doesn’t smile often. he counters, “that’s none of your business.”
and you tell him one day you’ll be the reason he smiles everyday.
sae thinks it’s kind of stupid though, because you already are. you just aren’t around to see it. he’ll probably never let you see it too. he wouldn’t hear the end of it if he did.
it isn’t long before you’re age fifteen and graduating middle school and you’re excited to start high school. it didn’t really make a difference for sae, as long as he got to play soccer, he really couldn’t care less.
when you’re age sixteen you tell sae that a boy from class broke your heart because he didn’t accept your valentines’ chocolates. it was as good as a rejection, apparently. or whatever girl code says it is.
frankly, sae’s just offended. you’ve never given him any valentines’ shit. all of a sudden some no name guy is getting it?
maybe it’s true what people say, teenage girls cry over stupid things they consider love that’s not actually love. now you’re getting his soccer jersey wet with your tears and you’re crooning on and on about how boys suck but somehow sae’s still the best.
you’re sixteen and crying on sae’s shoulder, while he’s seventeen and wishing he could torture the son of a bitch who made you cry.
this is the closest you’ve ever been, physically. your heart’s not really broken because whoever you’re crying about has never really had it. but sae doesn’t know that.
teenage girls make really stupid decisions sometimes. and other times, they making stupid passing comments, like when you say “glad i didn’t let him kiss me. would suck for my first kiss to be with a dick who didn’t give a shit about me.”
sometimes teenage boys make stupid decisions too.
sae doesn’t really know what possesses him to do this, but he doesn’t stop it. he doesn’t stop his hand from reaching out to you, doesn’t stop his fingers from tilting your chin up. there’s only confusion in your eyes when he looks into them. there’s only hesitation in his.
sae’s not anything to you except for a childhood friend, and you’re not anything to him, except for one of the most beautiful people he’s ever met. that’s why he does this slowly, so you have time to stop this.
he has no right to do this. he wishes you would just stop him.
you’re both teenagers when sae becomes your first kiss, when your tears stain his cheeks and he tastes like the fruits he just ate. you’re both delirious off of the feeling, like neither of you want this to end because your lips stay connected even when you’re not moving, and your lashes are fluttering against one another’s and sae really wants to kiss you again.
but it’s late and your parents are probably the ones knocking on his door right now so he stops himself and pulls away while rin bounds down the stairs to open the door.
sae sees nothing but you, you and your pretty face and your pretty lips and your perfect perfect person.
“there, now your first kiss is with a dick who does care about you.”
it’s that same summer and you’ve forgotten all about the stupid boy that supposedly broke your heart. you have sae with you whenever he’s free, when he decides to bring you out after practice and explore rooftops to find the best view for the fireworks.
you’re not together, but it sure feels like you are.
then it’s autumn and the leaves are turning orange and red, and you swear you see sae’s cheeks and ears turn nearly the same shade when he holds your hand for the first time as you walk through the park, a white cat crossing in front of you.
sae blames it on his practice earlier and that he’s tired because there’s no way he’ll ever admit it’s because of you.
when winter comes, sae’s still taking care of you. nothing stops him from playing soccer, but nothing can stop him from finding you either. sae’s starting to regret his decisions when you force him to go ice skating and look at him expectantly whenever you see a mistletoe.
you’re a lot of work, maybe you’re worth it.
and then you kiss him again and he thinks yes, maybe he can do this. he can juggle soccer and you, it’ll magically work out.
finally it’s spring and you’re excited because you love the cherry blossoms, and sae thinks maybe he loves something else but he’s not going to go there yet. and while everyone’s watching the solar eclipse that one night, sae’s watching you.
for once, he wants to believe in superstitions, wants to believe what watching the solar eclipse means.
“what’s the matter?”
you’re always so perceptive. you’d make a great playmaker, he feels.
of course you pick up on the tension, barely a minute after you walk into his room. sae doesn’t want to ruin this, whatever this is, whether it’s love or something less, or maybe something more.
but it’s not a democracy, and the answer is crystal clear in sae’s mind. his answer’s always been the same, but it’s not like you don’t exist in his world.
“the club in spain gave me an offer.”
that’s all he needs to say to make you understand. and if you weren’t the most understanding person he knows, you might’ve reacted differently, but you’re still the same supportive, kind girl he met at age four.
“when do you go?” your voice is shaky and he knows you’re trying to hold it together.
sae’s sorry, really.
“next month.”
it’s not a lot of time, but probably enough to say goodbye. then you throw your arms around him and you work your magic, you say you want to try despite the distance, despite the unknown timeline. and who is sae if not someone who’d give it a try?
he’s not even sure he can ever say no to you.
it doesn’t seem real until the night before he leaves, because you’re eighteen and standing in his near barren room, everything already packed into boxes and loaded.
maybe it’s the fact he’ll be gone for a very long time, doesn’t know when he’ll see you again. maybe it’s the adrenaline rushing through his veins when he feels you pressed up against him. maybe it’s the fact he’s denying the depth of his feelings for you and it’s getting him frustrated.
or maybe it’s because he’s selfish and he doesn’t want anyone else to have you, just like how he gave you your first kiss.
he’s your first kiss, and he’ll be your first time, with your hands clawing at his clothes. and you’ll be his, with the way he’s grabbing onto your bare back so desperately.
you’re eighteen and you think nothing’s prettier than the sounds sae makes, especially when his lips are right next to your ear, with his hot breath fanning against you.
sae’s nineteen and he thinks you’re the best thing he’s ever tasted, in all sense of the word. he thinks you look pretty in pink, still pretty when you wear nothing too.
and suddenly sae thinks that maybe it doesn’t feel so crazy to think that the both of you might make it through this.
long distance can work for some people. but sometimes it’s just meant to drive two people further away.
sae’s gaining momentum in europe, and you’re proud of him. you’re proud of your boyfriend, doing his best and showing off his talents and having his hard work pay off.
you’re really, genuinely happy for him. but the bigger of a star he is, the further away he feels, and maybe it’s selfish of you to want him here, to want him to be just your neighbour itoshi sae like how things started out.
maybe it’s selfish and wishful thinking, but you can’t help yourself.
sometimes sae doesn’t even have time to look at his phone. he’s tired and overwhelmed and understandably too. and you feel guilty everytime you subject him to your insecurities.
but you’re nineteen and you don’t know better.
rin’s not much fun to hang around with, especially when he got more stoic and awkward. he’s like a mirror of his brother, and that may fool a lot of people, except you knew him before that. but you’re not going to butt your head in things that don’t concern you, so you leave him be.
and suddenly the itoshis seem further away than they’ve ever been. for the first time in your life, you’re not sure if trying will be enough anymore.
sae misses you. that’s whenever he has the free time to think, when he’s not hounded by trainings after trainings, when he’s not busy from day to night with whatever new training regime they’ve got him on.
is he aware that he’s probably being the world’s worst boyfriend now? yes. but sae can’t force himself to choose that over his dreams. can’t force himself not to choose soccer.
[17:08] she’s fine, idk what you’re worried about.
rin’s message doesn’t alleviate his worries. sae knows you better than anyone, and he doesn’t believe you’re fine.
[08:08] hey sae :)
[17:34] going to bed now, gn!! <3
sae stares at your message for a while in the locker room, while everyone else is showering. you’ve cooled off on the pet names, you’re worried you’re overstepping. you’re worried he’s lost his feelings.
he’s not.
he’d be crazy to.
but he can’t find the energy to convince himself that this would turn out fine. he can’t convince himself that he’s not hurting you every single day by not being able to be everything you need, by not being able to be physically there for you.
this half-assed relationship isn’t what you deserve. and where he is right now, with his bird’s eye view of the world, he doesn’t know if he can ever give you anything else.
[17:49] goodnight. call you tomorrow.
the moment sae breaks up with you, you feel like that kid at sixteen all over again, except this time you don’t have your favourite person’s shoulder to cry on and this time it’s actually love.
all you can think of when you hear him pick up the phone is that morning right before he left for the airport, how his hair’s a mess and how his lashes are way too pretty and how he sounded when he’s all groggy and tired.
but then he tells you the one thing you do not want to hear, and the illusion is shattered into pieces.
“this isn’t working out.”
“what are you talking about?” he’s silent, and you’re anxious. “we’re fine, sae.”
you can hear him sighing over the phone. you so desperately want to fix this, and so does sae but he can’t think of anything more selfish than to ask you to wait for him until he’s ready—he knows what’s the right thing to do. it sucks, but he’s made up his mind.
“that’s bullshit, y/n,” he responds, calmly, and you feel him slipping further and further from you.
“i- look, i-i know it’s hard but we can—”
“give it a break, woman,” sae chuckles, low and deep, and you’re beginning to doubt that you know him at all right now. “we’re done.”
the dial tone is all you can hear after that.
twenty years old is where you have your first actual heartbreak.
and all that talk about how time heals all feels like bullshit when you’re right in the middle of it all. five days in and you’re still a wreck. twenty days later and you’re still staring at the pictures you and sae took together. a month passes and you’re visiting the places you went to together. just a sad, pathetic girl crying on the benches, reliving what she once had.
three months later you’re still watching his matches on tv. you’re still cheering for him inside. four months later and it’s sae’s birthday and he doesn’t even respond to your birthday message. half a year after the breakup and you finally stop crying when you think of him.
but it’s easy to delude yourself when you’re not in the presence of what you grieve. because eight months after you broke up, you see reports that sae’s dating a sports photographer. the next few days, a picture is released of them kissing in a restaurant.
then you get glimpses of other girls being able to be intimate with him. other girls getting to taste his lips and feel his love. other girls getting his attention when that right used to solely belong to you.
and you’ve never felt worse.
“why so glum?”
sae blinks at the woman, indifferent. he can’t even remember her name.
“nadia,” she says, like she’s reading his goddamn mind, holding her hand out. “i’ve been your team’s photographer for a few months now.”
sae shakes her hand out of courtesy because he really doesn’t want his publicist to chew him out again. “didn’t ask.”
“you know, you’re a lot more crabby these days,” she comments, and it’s like he can see the lightbulb going off in her head. “oh, is it girlfriend issues?”
“i don’t have one, so shut it.”
“come on, i promise i’m good at making people forget.” she says this so seductively that sae’s a little disturbed. he just wants to get this shoot done with and go home, maybe even check up on you a little. all in incognito mode, of course, because he can’t risk you knowing he still cares. can’t risk getting your hopes up.
somehow the stars have spent all their time aligning sae’s soccer career and everything else is in tatters because his publicist forces him to take nadia up on her offer and go out with her.
what was supposed to be a one time thing turned out to be something more. she wasn’t even close to you, but she could be close. turns out when he’s not being such a dick, nadia can be moderately interesting.
different, maybe that’s what he needs.
he thinks back to when she kissed him on their first date. sae still finds himself hoping you didn’t see that.
but no, he’s not in love with you anymore. sae’s officially an adult at twenty-one and he’s still the same stubborn guy in denial because he’s looking at pictures of you while nadia’s sitting right next to him.
it’s not healthy, it really isn’t.
you’re twenty-one now and you’re actually going on a date with the sole intention of trying to get over the one and only itoshi sae.
can you even trust your friend? all you know is that the guy is a friend of a best friend’s and that’s all she told you.
“my best friend’s a good guy, so by extension, so is his best friend,” was all she said.
now you’re here, at the amusement park, waiting for your date to show himself because apparently, in your friend’s bid for suspense, she was reluctant to share anything about him except that he’s dreamy and pretty and that his friend describes him as a genius.
and also “oh, he’s a soccer player too so that’s right up your alley, right?”
when the call from date guy comes in (because to stop you from profiling your date she also didn’t give you his name), you kind of like his voice.
“hey, where are you?”
you find out his name is nagi. and that he’s only here because reo stole his switch and he won’t give it back until the date’s over. which kind of works because you tell him you’re only here because you wanted to get over someone.
to which he says it’s a hassle.
there’s nothing you expect out of this, but then you find yourself enjoying your date.
it’s clear by the first fifteen minutes why nagi chose this place to meet. he’s absurdly good at games. he’s won you tons of plushies that you had to give away to some very happy kids. it’s a pattern; every game that he doesn’t know, he only loses once and then he proceeds to dominate.
no wonder his friend calls him a genius.
with nagi it’s easy, fluid. you’ve been spending the whole night there with him, playing together and eating together—well, mostly it’s just you feeding nagi because it turns out he finds a lot of things a hassle.
three days later, you find out that apparently you’re not a hassle in his books. not really, because he asks you out again.
it’s irrational.
sae shouldn’t be this bothered, but he is. he hates seeing your stupid updates about how you’re on a date with this nagi guy. he hates seeing your posts with the two of you wearing matching sweaters for christmas.
he gives it a like.
nadia’s already gone. sae doesn’t have time or energy to waste on people that don’t matter. and you shouldn’t matter. not right now. but here he is, wishing the circumstances were different.
if you and nadia switched places. if you had something to bring you to spain. it’s fucking selfish, he knows. doesn’t stop him from wishing for it. he can’t think of anyone else like how he thinks of you. doesn’t want to.
he really is clueless about everything outside of soccer, because he’s twenty-two when he realises that no one could ever make him forget about you, and maybe he should just live with it.
sae turns twenty-three when he’s in the running for being the world’s best midfielder. he’s gotten rid of the hopes of moving on and he’ll just fake it till he makes it.
maybe that’s why this year is particularly special to him. or maybe it’s because for the first time in a long while, you wish him happy birthday.
at midnight, in japan. because you’re thoughtful that way.
this time he responds.
thanks. how r u?
it’s criminal how easy it is for you to get his heart beating like this. he sees you typing and it’s enough to lift his mood.
great, school’s kicking my ass though.
sae finds himself wishing that he could hear your voice right now. for some stupidly non-complex reason that he finds completely absurd.
i saw your match last week, good game, genius.
fuck. after all this time, he still wants you.
his fingers type i miss you, just for the hell of it. just to see it there on his screen before he inevitably deletes it and replaces it with something mediocre like thanks or i know.
because he can’t just say that after being the one who broke things off. he can’t do that when he still thinks it won’t work out.
all he does is sigh and hit the delete button—except fuck, he accidentally hit send. and he would’ve deleted it if you weren’t already online and read it and he sees you typing for a moment before you stop completely and go offline.
sae has never felt more numb.
it’s been three months since sae said he missed you. you still can’t get that out of your head. the most upfront he’s been about his feelings and he chooses then of all times to be honest?
when your boyfriend was right beside you?
maybe it was your fault. you didn’t even know why you wished him a happy birthday. maybe you missed him too and was just lying to yourself.
god, maybe you’re the asshole in this after all. did you really love nagi? or was he just exceptionally well at making you forget? you really really like him, that’s all you know.
“hey, what’s wrong?” nagi’s looking at you, pushing his hair back, and you can’t help but think you’re lucky to have him these past few months.
but the turmoil inside you wins, and maybe you understand a little bit of how sae felt that night when he broke up with you.
it’s not fair to nagi for you to do this, but it’s not fair to him either to keep him around.
“we need to talk.”
it’s a surreal feeling, to be back in japan.
sae was nineteen when he left. now he’s twenty-seven when he breathes the tokyo air again. he lugs around his carry-on baggage because he’s not staying here for long. not yet. he’s coming back soon, and he doesn’t really know why. he’s milked everything he could from spain, from the rest of europe, some of the americas, and maybe he’s homesick now.
plain and simple.
the cab driver asks him why he looks so sharp, and he simply says, “wedding.”
it’s been seven years since he broke up with you. and your grip on him is as firm as ever. a grip he’ll never let you know you have on him because he’s made this mistake before—said i miss you and then scared you away.
by the next day he couldn’t even find you online because everything is wiped and maybe you hate him, hate his guts. that’s fine. he can live with that.
to him, you’re still the same lovable person as you were at age five. still the same girl at age sixteen that he fell in love with. you’re still his person and it’s fine if he has to just admire you from afar.
when he arrives, he takes a long hard look around the room, filled with guests socialising and drinking their wines and it’s so pathetic but he’s wondering if you’re still around. he’s late, and it’s his plane’s fault but it’s no use playing the blame game.
“hey,” rin calls out when he sees his brother. “you missed the ceremony.”
“yeah, stupid plane got delayed,” sae says, mind still distracted.
rin formally introduces his new wife to sae and she seems nice, polite, the kind that can put his brother in his place if she needs to. that’s nice. sae can’t help envisioning you in the wedding dress though. you’d look nice.
nicer if he was the one beside you.
“oh! as a gift to my now brother-in-law, i have a friend i want to set you up with,” she grins, and as much of an ass that sae is, he just figures he’ll reject the poor girl later. for now, he’ll entertain his new sister-in-law.
rin claps him on the shoulder before smirking and walking off, presumably to get a drink because no matter how much rin has changed, sae doubts he’ll ever become friendly enough to mingle in this crowd.
sae feels someone poking his shoulder and turns around, first to find his sister-in-law grinning from ear to ear, and next to find you next to her, just like he remembers.
pretty in pink, stupid bashful smile, still fucking beautiful.
“have fun,” rin’s wife says before she walks off with a knowing look. she’s already winning points with sae for bringing you to him.
“hey, genius,” you try to suppress your smile but it’s not working.
he thinks he’s dreaming. he’s not. he’s here. and so are you. and this might just be what he missed all this time.
you hold your hand out and he takes it wordlessly, obediently. sae follows you to the dance floor, trying to calm his erratic heartbeats, savouring the feeling of your hand in his once again, remembering that moment back in autumn when he first felt it.
when you wrap your hands around his neck and he wraps his around your waist, it feels like finally, something is real. like there’s something in this country that can really keep him here this time. because now he’s twenty-seven and he finally understands, he’s always loved you but he’s never been ready until now.
“can’t believe you let your brother get married before you,” you say, sarcasm because you’re breaking into a grin. “he actually beat you at something.”
sae pouts slightly, averting his gaze. “what’s the big deal anyway?”
you shrug. “i’d have thought you’d be the first. maybe with one of the girls you met abroad or something.”
there’s a certain bitterness in your tone that he likes, only because it means you minded all this time. the thought of him with someone else. he suddenly remembers something, and searches the room for a familiar face.
gray eyes meet his teal ones before they turn away, disinterested.
“you sure your boyfriend won’t mind you dancing with your ex?”
“probably not, since i don’t have one.” you smirk, sensing the bitterness in his tone too. it’s funny, seeing sae jealous like this.
he has no reason to though, since you broke up with nagi after being honest with yourself—that you’re not over sae and you probably never will be. you’d decided to just live with your decision.
“shame. thought you guys looked cute in those matching sweaters.”
so that was a jealous like, you think to yourself.
“thought you looked cute with that sports photographer girl too, kissing and all,” you say, though it leaves a bitter taste in your mouth. “why didn’t that work out?”
for the first time in his life, sae decides to be outright honest with you—
“because she’s not you.” because everytime she said his name, he’d overlay it with your voice in his head. because everytime she’d tried to get close, he’d resent her more for not being you. because no matter how hard anyone tries, they will never be you and that will never work, not for sae.
—to a certain degree.
he’s twenty-seven when he’s finally old enough to understand that it was never a problem with feelings because he’s always loved you all the same all this time. it was just a matter of being ready at the right time. it’s like luck in the world of soccer, where coincidences can only fall to those who are prepared.
and he’s here now. he’s ready.
call him crazy for thinking you’re on the same page because you’re getting closer and closer and closer.
“itoshi sae,” you whisper his name against his lips and he’s reminded of the first time he had you. you drive him crazy and he thinks he’ll keep on letting you. “i missed you too.”
you did. you used to be too young and inexperienced to put yourself in sae’s shoes. too young and naive thinking emotions were enough for two people to stay. sometimes, some things just aren’t meant to be… in the moment. and other times, when you’re both ready, everything suddenly falls into place.
you were sixteen when sae first kissed you. now ten years later, ten years wiser, you kiss again, and this feels significantly better than before. because now you both know.
sae has known you ever since you were three. and he thinks he’ll keep on knowing you, every day, every hour, every minute. he wants to know you forever. and he’s thinking maybe that superstition worked out after all. maybe it was destined to be like this all along.
two people coming together and falling apart only to end up in each other’s arms.
and he thinks fuck superstition, fuck the white cats and solar eclipses and everything else. even if things threaten not to work, this time he’ll make it work.
sae’s known you for so long he overlooked one simple thing. when he kisses you even deeper and is greeted with your lips smiling against his, he knows.
he hasn’t become the world’s best soccer player yet, but when he does, you’ll be by his side.
one day those paper rings the both of you played with when you were little would be real.
you’ve always been special, and you always will be.
now he’s finally home.
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can tumblr stop showing me fanfics about things im no longer interested in 😭😭 im not even following tags related to them wtf
BEST FRIEND'S BROTHER.
NRKㅤ✶ ㅤ (⠀femreader⠀) . . . established relationship, suicide jokes, yn never changed his contact name poor riki, kinda corny soz, on the fifth slide it's supposed to say i'll tell my mom on her i forgot to type out tell bye.
delicate | nishimura riki
౨ৎ ## love so delicate like yours, synopsis: you've realized how far you've gotten with your boyfriend now that both of you are adults.
includes: 1.9k words | soft fluff | yn is anxious asf but riki comforts them | we love reassurance | movie notebook reference 😎 | yn got a tattoo and it makes riki fall in love with them more 🙆♀️🙆♀️
extra: at this point, all of the members are taylor swift coded | soft love is the best love | yn is me because im also 18 and i dont wanna pay taxes D:
likes, reblogs, and comments are appreciated! <3
[below the cut]
you sighed as you laid yourself flat against the blankets. you smiled in delight as if your troubles and worries left you.
“school’s over.” you said, feeling your chest heavy. you recalled the school memories that you’ve experienced; both happy and sad, now that you’re taking the next chapter of your life; college.
it’s leaving a bittersweet feeling on your whole body.
“it is.” you looked over your shoulder, to see your boyfriend, riki fiddling with his yearbook. his fingers spotted towards the back of the book, heartfelt messages and inspiring words that his friends wrote for him.
you’re in riki’s backyard, inside of a treehouse both of you built since children with the help of your parents. you’re so lucky your dad is a constructor.
riki is sitting, one leg sticking out and one knee bent as he leans into the wooden walls. this position allows you to admire him from below as the sunlight flashes on his beautiful features.
he’s reading every single message with sincerity and care, from his senior friends that he will probably never see again and his younger juniors that he can’t annoy anymore.
“i can’t believe we’re gonna be college students now. where we have to pay off debts, start our career paths, those people who are gonna be closer to 20 than 16 - it’s just,” you took in a breath. “surreal. surreal that we are growing up.”
you had always had a fear of growing up. not wanting to achieve the things and goals you’ve planned on time. you felt like you’re rushing to do everything at once before it becomes too late. you always wanna stay 16 forever; forever naive to understand the real world. how you’re closest friends will separate from you. how everything you’re experiencing right now will be just a memory.
riki glanced down on you where you’re staring off of space. he can sense the anxiety in your tone.
he closes the book after he was staring at a picture. a picture titled, “best couple” and it’s a picture of the both of you standing next to each other, smiling widely. he scooted himself, making himself comfortable once he lays down next to you. his back lays flat, mimicking your position.
“are you scared?” riki likes to question the obvious, but it helps you reflect on your feelings; how fear is just a feeling.
“just a little anxious just all,” you confessed, looking at riki whose eyes never left yours. “i’m sure it will disappear soon. i mean, everyone experiences this.” you reassure yourself and riki sense it.
“mhm,” riki mumbles. “it’s okay to feel anxious, the future is scary.” he looks down. “it’s only a matter of time how you’re gonna handle it. you create your own future.”
his words ring in your head. he’s right.
riki took your silence as a way that you agree with him.
he then glanced down towards your arm, a black-inked drawing that attracted him. riki scooted closer, his body turned to yours. he propped himself up with his elbow.
no matter how close the proximity is between the both of you, it still makes you nervous til this day. especially with how much older and mature-looking your boyfriend of 6 years is.
“your parents aren’t mad about this?” riki gently poked on your arm, eyes analyzing the beauty that you’ve decided to put on your arm.
it’s beautiful, he thinks.
“not anymore, i’m 18 now.” you huffed out. you remembered the horror on your parents’ faces but a sigh of defeat when they realized you’re now responsible of yourself. it makes you chuckle their panicked expressions, but it made them realize that you’re not gonna be their little 4 year old reckless daughter anymore.
“i can imagine your mom shrieking.” riki giggled which made you scoffed because he wasn’t wrong.
“your birth flower?” riki asked, his fingertips gently tracing the traces of your birth flower.
your eyes widened a bit at his sudden touch then you looked down at how focused riki was. his eyes were staring at it as if your tattoo was a museum.
your heart beat quickened at the sight.
“the flower that i drew for you in your math notebook in 6th grade.” riki smiled, realizing how much time flies since you guys called it official since middle school. you’ve remembered the nervousness riki’s hands were fiddling when he made a bouquet of origami flowers that he made each week that he fell in love with you. you thought it was silly. riki has always been caring and kind to you so it was natural for you to reprociate the feelings back.
“i thought you threw your old notebooks away..” his voice still remains soft and delicate, still smiling at your tattoo.
“i ripped the page and kept it since.” when you were going into your freshman self, you looked back into the notebooks to reminsince your middle school memories. you’ve came across a drawing — no other than riki’s in your notebook. you ripped it out and hid it in a safe spot until you get a tattoo of it ever since.
some people thought you guys weren’t gonna make it past middle school — even you too, but since both of you got in the same highschool, it is still strong. a strong string holding your relationship tight. yes, with hormones acting up and puberty getting in the way, there were times where you guys had fought and argued together to the point it was nearing breaking apart but both of you shouldn’t let it slide. not when it has reached this far.
although your boyfriend has grown up, there are occasionally times where he teases you and becomes childish around you, it makes you reminsince how he still has a soul of his 12-year old self. especially moments where he look similar to a duck, which made you think about how much duck plushies you have on your bed because it reminds you of riki.
you’re happy that you’re growing up with him.
“a penny for your thoughts?”
you gasped lightly, realizing that you’re spacing out. you looked at him and you see a small smirk implemented on his face, curious of what your pretty head is thinking of.
your face relaxes, trying to calm yourself. you’re nervous over nothing.
you looked down at your hands, then glance at riki’s hand comfortably resting, then back to your hands. your fingers slowly creep upon riki’s fingers, slowly rubbing them with yours. you smiled at the sight.
“it’s insane to think about how much we’ve grown.” you paused. “together.”
riki’s eyes looked at the sight, his heart beat echoing and growing louder. no matter what you do, you always make him think irrational. he then glances at you smiling when you’re playing with his fingers. “not many people believed in us lasting this long, not even me. i was worried if one of us lost feelings, found someone else better, or get something in our way, but im glad that we didn’t give up.” you looked at riki where his attention was diverted to you. he raised an eyebrow to indicate that he was listening.
“i’m happy that i’m dating you, i can’t express how much i adore you, how much you mean to me, i’ve never felt love this strong before — you’re just everything to me. i can’t imagine laughing harder than with anyone else, smile so much with anyone else. with you, it’s different. thank you for loving me.”
you’re cringing on the inside at how much you confessed in such a short amount of time. you’re met with silence from your boyfriend who seem atonished from your words. you’re embarrassed, pulling back your fingers to cover your blushing cheeks in front of your boyfriend.
riki’s lips twitched, happy for you to express your feelings more comfortably now compared to the past situations. (one of the reasons that you’ve guys argued before) his chest felt light, his grin becoming bigger when you’re hiding from him.
you hear the blankets rustled, you felt riki’s arm slowly snake around your arm to remove your hand from your face. you removed your embarrassed hands and your eyes followed his hand clasping onto yours. the sight of his veiny hands makes you silent.
you admire the two of you holding hands. your stomach was feeling butterflies just as it was the first time riki confessed his feelings to you. riki twists your wrist, allowing you to see the sight from all angles. it looks so perfect. your hand perfectly structured to hold his.
“you’re just as perfect as to what i am seeing right now.” riki spoke with a soft tone, chuckling when he kept twisting and turning your wrist. “you have a place in my heart no one else could ever have. my heart is so full of you i can hardly call it my own. i choose you. and i’ll choose you over and over. without a pause, without a doubt, in a heartbeat, i’ll keep choosing you. as long as i’m alive, you will always be loved.”
you’re speechless at your boyfriend’s words to the point you feel like crying. riki still kept smiling at you, giggling. you saw the crescents formed in his eyes whenever he smiled at you and it never fails to make yourself love him more.
riki took this opportunity to lift himself up, hovering above you. he pecked your forehead. you felt his warm lips touching your skin and the goosebumps always forms whenever he makes you flustered.
you looked up at him, surprised. he looked down at you with his head tilted and a scrunched nose like a puppy, as if he was proud to do that.
nothing but an exchange of loud heart beats matching with one another and genuine giggles back and forth.
riki then leaned in towards you. you closed your eyes at the expected action. his lips touching with yours. electricity flows when he rubs his fingers on your hands. it always make you feel all tingly on the inside.
riki then pulls back, “cute.” he teases you, making your cheeks grow hotter. “shut up.” you rolled eyes, earning a little laugh from him.
riki still doesn’t let go of your intertwined hands as he returns to his original position where you’re laying flat on the ground, shoulder to shoulder.
“so your summer plans?” riki asked casually. he lifted his head as his arm was under his head to act as support.
you then touched your bangs, realizing that you still have that caramel-like highlights since march. you were starting to get bored of it.
you pursed your lips. “maybe dye my hair next week back to black.”
riki’s eyes shined. “match with me.” he spoke without thinking. you turned your head to him, realizing that his hair is black now.
your boyfriend likes it alot when both of you match.
“if you bleach it next month to some color then what?” you pointed out because sometimes your boyfriend makes impulsive decisions on his hair whenever he sees a cool hairstyles. you’re not angry whenever he does this because he’s good looking with whatever hair color he has.
“i won’t bleach it, i promise. i’ll follow you.” riki spoke and it makes you chuckle that he probably doesn’t realize the importance of his words. “red? blue? silver, i’ll do it for you.” you froze at his sudden deep voice erupting from him. your heart beat also freezes when his lips touches the location of your tattoo. you looked down and see his lips pushed forward. your heart flutters once again.
“you’re dumb.” you spoke, eyes softening at what you were hearing.
gosh, you really love this man.
riki smiles against your skin, looking up and your heart twists at an umfamiliar sight. “i can be that.”
𓇻 ॱ˖ 𝑂ℎ, 𝐴𝑛𝑔𝑒𝑙𝑠 ℎ𝑎𝑣𝑒 𝑝𝑖𝑛𝑘 ℎ𝑎𝑖𝑟, 𝐼 ℎ𝑎𝑑 𝑛𝑜 𝑖𝑑𝑒𝑎
──ॱ˖ ❀ enhypen hyung line and their pink obsessed girlfriend. genre fluff. warnings pet names, swearing, yn is like a pink pinterest girl | enhypen x fem!reader.
lee heeseung ( 이희승 )
to be honest you weren’t really his type.
he mostly went for girls that had a style more similar to his.
when he first met you it was kinda overwhelming just looking at you LOL
you were jays older sister, he didn’t even know jay had a sister until the day he met you.
you were picking jay up from one of their hangouts.
in a pink car…
heeseung cringed when he saw that not only were you in a pink car but also your whole entire outfit was pink.
but he was also like “she’s kinda hot…”
that night he did some digging through jays instagram following and found his pink obsessed sister.
“unintentionally” of course.
he also unintentionally messaged you as well.
and the rest is history.
“this is totally ruining my street cred.” heeseung whined as he sat in the passenger seat of your pink convertible, “I feel like a passenger princess.”
“you’d be the prettiest passenger princess ever.” you teased kissing his cheek before staring the car and backing out your driveway.
“I should be driving you, why are we taking your car anyway?”
“because I need you to take photos of me, and the car needs to be in the view, it completes the outfit and makes me look good.” you respond like it’s the most obvious thing in the world.
“you always look good, why does that matter!?”
park jongseong ( 박종성 )
he feeds into your pink obsession like no other
he tries his best to act like he doesn’t want too but somehow, he’s always the one pulling out his card at the cashier.
it’s like the angels brought you to him because you always make his days less boring.
“if you like the scent with the blue bottle why am I paying for that one?”
“because it’s pink!”
when he’s out with his friends at the mall, he’s always picking up pink little trinkets that he feels like you’d like.
sometimes they’re not so small.
“you got me the pink chanel bag!” you exclaimed as you opened the box he passed to you, “with the bow too!”
as soon as he came through the door after his hangout he had a smirk on his face and silently passed you a black shopping bag.
“I was gonna save up and get it.” you say leaning into his side as you examine the bag, “what the hell jay.” you say to your boyfriend who just shrugs his shoulders in a I don’t care way.
“you have too much money to waste.” you lecture causing jay to laugh.
“yeah, and I love wasting it on you.” he teases before leaving a kiss on your forehead.
sim jaeyun ( 심재윤 ) cd is playing
literally lets you do anything to him.
he loves his pink obsessed girlfriend.
even if that means she’s putting pink bows in hair every second.
finds the way you like pink so much endearing.
he let you decorate the apartment you both live in together.
“bro you have a pink toaster?”
“oh yeah, yn picked that up the other day.”
remember when I said he will let you do anything to him?
he would definitely let you do those tiktok trends on him.
“babe what are you doing?” jake asked you as you picked up a roll of pink ribbon and sat on the couch beside him.
“just something…” you said grinning before cutting the piece of ribbon and gesturing towards his arm, “pass me your arm.”
he looked and you confused but leaned over towards nevertheless.
he watched as you tied a perfect bow around his upper arm, “uh yn?”
“isn’t it cute! wait let me get my phone.”
he couldn’t help but laugh as he watched you run into your shared room.
park sunghoon ( 박성훈 )
you were a youtuber
you were known for your, grwm, room yours, day in my life and loving pink
he doesn’t even know how he pulled you
in his eyes you were kind of a celebrity.
he could’ve sworn he seen you on his sisters pinterest once.
he’s been in a few of your videos.
most of the time he holds the camera for you.
your viewers love how different you guys are.
he’s the most funny in your shopping videos.
“this whole cart is pink yn.”
in the background of your videos when you’re going your grwm’s all you’ll see is a man decked out in all black sleeping in a pink bed with fluffy pillows surrounding him.
sunghoon held the camera for you as you walked through the store for your new video.
“oh my gosh!” you say before rushing towards the thing that caught your eye, “wouldn’t this be so cute for my place?” you said asking your boyfriend who gives you an unimpressed look.
“do you really need a pink kettle?”
“I don’t know how I didn’t get one sooner.” you say smiling innocently as he shakes his head.
“just put it in the cart.”
guys it turns out if you wanna have fun and be a fun and interesting person you like have to fill your day with fun things and not just rotting in your room …… need a moment to process
the entire party thinks we're dating
cw: 4.5k wc, female reader, sendo registers oliver on one of those rent a boyfriend for a day websites as a prank and you just so happen to need a date for another wedding you really don't want to attend on your own—
When you swing the door open, you can’t help but blink a few times at the sight before your eyes.
“Oh”, you say.
The man staring back with a lopsided smile, hands buried in the pockets of what looks like an expensive suit, raises his brows.
“Oh?”, he parrots, “thought we could start with hello, nice to meet you”.
“Sorry, it’s just…”, you tilt your head, “I get why you’re so expensive. They weren’t kidding with that description”.
When you leave the door open and waltz back into the living room, Oliver takes it as an invitation to come in.
“Can you remind me what that description said?”, the sound of the door being softly pushed closed echoes in the silent room while you’re busy checking yourself out in the mirror above the couch.
“Friendly, tall, incredibly charming, devastatingly handsome. Something like that”.
He smirks, catching your gaze in the mirror.
“And you just validated all that, huh?”.
You click your tongue.
“We’ll see about the friendly, incredibly charming part”.
“Devastatingly handsome it is then, I’ll take the compliment. You look really good in that dress, by the way”.
“Don’t”, you scoff, “you’re too hot to be that much of a clichè”.
He hums, amused.
“Not too hot to tell the truth. You know, for someone so wary, it’s surprising you’d let me pick you up at your place”.
“Not her place”, Chisako’s voice startles him and you sigh, turning to the mirror once more: your hair is being exceptionally stubborn.
“Listen… what’s your name again?”, your best friend eyes him up and down, hands on her hips.
“I’m Oliver”, he replies, seemingly amused. You meet his gaze in the mirror once more.
“Listen, Oliver. You do anything to her, anything, and I’ll kill you. Won’t even go through the fuss of pressing charges, you hear me?”.
“That’s sweet”.
She narrows her gaze.
“You think I’m kidding? Hands to yourself and don’t try anything funny”.
“Hey, just a quick reminder, she rented me”.
“You, don’t talk to my friend like that”, you finally whip around, exasperated, “and you, please don’t scare my very expensive date away yet. I still need him”.
With a scoff, Chisako lightly slaps your finger away from her chest.
“Fine. Share your location and call me if you need anything. Keep your phone with you”, you soften when you read the sincere worry swarming in her eyes and smile.
“Deal. Thank you”, with a deep breath, you grab your purse and take an uncertain step back, “do I look okay?”.
“More than okay, you’re…”.
“Beautiful”.
You both look at him, skeptical.
“You don’t have to do that”.
“Do what?”, Oliver chuckles, “let me guess, you think that was also a lie”.
“Hot and smart? You really are the whole package”, with a scoff, you walk past him and toward the front door, where you slip your very pretty, very uncomfortable heels on.
Still evidently amused, he opens the door for you and offers his arm to walk you down the stairs of the old apartment complex. Chisako waits on the balcony, arms folded and resting on the black railing. You look up and she waves, making you chuckle.
When Oliver leans forward to open the car door for you, you look at him astonished.
“You came… in a porsche?”.
He grins.
“I mean, you did pay for the whole package”.
Right.
“So, we’re gonna need a story, right? Am I your boyfriend or are we just casually dating?”, the smaller space you’re now sharing is ruthless in making you notice the details you couldn’t catch in your friend’s apartment. The man starting the engine and now sitting dangerously close to you smells unfairly good and the deep rumble of his voice, low, intimate, feels as soft as velvet. It almost resembles the purr of a big cat.
“Boyfriend. We met about two months ago and only recently made it official”.
“Sounds good to me”, he briefly glances at you with a smile, “whose wedding is it, anyway?”.
You grimace.
“An old colleague. She’s never gonna buy this but we can do our best”.
“Are you doubting me or yourself right now?”.
With a snort, you gesture vaguely.
“You’re an incredibly attractive guy who drives a sports car. No one at that wedding is going to believe I could bag that”.
“It’s my job to make sure they do”, Oliver clicks his tongue, “besides, I think I’d have a much harder time charming you. I’m pretty easy to bag”.
His absolutely serious tone makes you melt into a chuckle, which he seems to appreciate. Head slightly turned, you focus on his profile for a brief moment. The bridge of his nose, full lips, long lashes. You wonder if he’s using contacts. He must be, right? There’s no way he’d be blessed with those eyes too, among everything else.
“You’re staring”, he mutters, still focused on the road. The playful lilt of his tone makes you shift in your seat.
“You’re nice to look at”.
He huffs out a sound that sounds like a chuckle, both amused and somehow coy.
“How come you ended up on that website? You don’t seem like the type who’d need to rent a man”.
You stay silent for a few seconds, looking straight ahead while lost in your own thoughts. Truth is, you’re not quite sure yourself. It’s true: you’re definitely not the type and, suddenly, the entirety of the absurd situation weighs heavy on your chest.
You’re in a car, with a man you know nothing about, heading to a wedding party where everyone will be able to call your bluff. And you spent an embarrassing amount of money for this, too.
“I think I’m about to throw up”, you murmur.
“Excuse me?”.
“I’m seriously about to throw up. Oh, no. What was I thinking?”, your hands rise to cover your face, “stop the car, please”.
“We’re on the highway”.
“But I’m about to throw-”
“Please stop talking about throwing up, the thought of someone vomiting triggers my gag reflex”, Oliver sends an alarmed glance your way but you’re refusing to meet his gaze, practically bending over in your own seat, “think of the leather seats”.
“I don’t care about your stupid leather seats!”.
“You were fine ten seconds ago-”
“Oliver”, the way you straight out whine his name all of a sudden tucks the words back into his throat, “I don’t even know you. Oh, god, what if you’re a maniac? What if you try to murder me? I’m in a car with a man I don’t know, I spent so much money only to end up dead in a ditch!”.
“Okay, listen-”
“I’m sorry, I know this is a really weird reaction but I’m freaking out big time, I never did this before-”
“Me neither!”.
Your eyes grow in size and your jaw slacks, panic overcoming your features. Oliver clears his throat.
“I mean, I never had to convince an entire audience at a wedding. My dates were always a walk in the park, an afternoon at the mall, one movie, an ice cream on the way home”, he lies so easily it almost makes him laugh. Either way, Oliver slows down and gently stops the car, parking it on the shoulder of the highway.
“Hey”, he tentatively reaches for your wrist, to gently remove one of your hands from your face, “can you look at me? You said I’m nice to look at, no?”.
“You are. Which would make you the perfect murderer”, you whisper. Still, you comply and find an incredulous smile brightening up his face.
“Jesus. Okay, listen, I promise you can trust me. I won’t hurt you. If you changed your mind I can drive you home right now, or drop you off at the venue and leave”.
“Really?”.
“Really”.
You inhale a deep breath and relax against your seat underneath the weight of his honest, magnetic gaze.
“I’m sorry. You must think I’m insane”.
“Believe it or not, I’ve met more insane people”, he smiles.
You lower your gaze.
“It’s just… not something I would usually do. I was really tired of being always the lonely one at weddings and social gatherings, I never let the teasing get to me but I guess I started feeling”, you pause to look for the right word, “vulnerable. I don’t have to prove anything but I was just so sick of it. And this particular colleague is insufferable, she’s been with the guy ever since high school and just kept talking my ear off about true love, soulmates, all that bullshit…”, Oliver laughs and you look up from your lap.
“What?”.
“Nothing”, he raises both hands in mock protection, “keep going”.
You glare at him.
“Well, that’s the story. I was exhausted, drank an entire bottle of wine, found the website, booked the most expensive option because I really wanted to rub it in their faces. Then I almost had a panic attack about it, apparently”.
“The most expensive, huh?”, his blatant smugness makes you groan.
“You know you are the most expensive”.
He doesn’t, really. But it’s surely a pleasant learning.
“Right. Well, I’m ready to be your arm candy and piss the bride off if you’ll have me”, Oliver flashes you another smile, “you know, I’m sure she hired a good glam team but I’m willing to bet my date still looks better”.
“You’re such a flirt”, you smile and idly shake your head, “you know what? Fine. What the hell, I deserve a few hours with a hot dude who says I look pretty. Let’s go piss the bride off”.
He starts the engine again with a pleased hum.
“Please pay more attention, I remember saying you look beautiful”.
“Ugh, they really know what they’re doing on that website”, you laugh, sudden and loud and genuine.
Oliver never thought Sendo’s dumb prank was something he’d resent him for. On the contrary, he decided to go with it just one time, for the sake of having a funny story to share one day.
Now, with the vivacious laughter of the (not entirely sane) stranger currently in his car still ringing in his ears, he knows he made the right decision.
Oliver is not prepared for the way you surprise him.
He has witnessed enough unsettling transformations in his life, hell, he still sometimes becomes another person on the field, but the switch you turn on the second you both walk into the reception is… staggering.
No one would be able to tell you had a breakdown in his car just moments prior to walking into the venue. Watching the way you carry yourself, how you talk to everyone, the confidence embedded in every word and movement is mesmerizing. Makes him doubt of his own sanity because what if he imagined you almost throwing up on his expensive seats?
His thumb idly runs over your knuckles as you introduce him to yet another friend. The boyfriend renting agreement comes with some important rules: the date is to be strictly platonic and there’s a fixed hourly rate which gets higher the more requested a boyfriend is. You briefly discussed some boundaries, to make sure the other is comfortable at all times: Oliver can’t kiss you and you can’t kiss him, but everything else is pretty much allowed. You asked if it was okay for him to hold your hand and he made it pretty clear that it wasn’t a problem, or so the fingers so easily slipping in between yours seemed to suggest.
You kiss each other’s cheek and rest your heads on each other’s shoulder and your hands are so gentle as they move strands of dark hair away from his eyes. His arm feels solid and comforting around your shoulders, hand warm against the small of your back as he guides you through the garden filled with tables and guests.
Surprising Oliver is not easy but something weird happens when you call him baby for the first time. He wonders how you can make it sound so natural, where you learned to be a liar good enough to have your eyes sparkle like that, on demand. He’s there to have a fun story to share but he’s also supposed to do the work, to do what’s expected of him. Instead, it feels like you’re pulling the strings and all he can do is try to stay afloat within your current.
He surprises you too. When a few guests gather around you two, wonder shimmering in their eyes, friends asking where you even got to meet a pro soccer player, you look at him as shocked and rightfully confused as a fake girlfriend would be.
“She asked if she could get a jersey signed for…”, Oliver searches your gaze in silent demand and you clear your throat, still flabbergasted.
“Kenji”, you offer an easy smile.
The man standing on Oliver’s left, supposedly Kenji himself, gasps.
“Right, Kenji”, Oliver smiles too, “I told her I would only sign it if she went on a date with me”.
“He has that romantic blackmail thing about him, I fell for it instantly”, you ever so slightly narrow your gaze and, in response, he tightens his hold around your waist.
“You’ve been dating him for months and you didn’t think of getting us tickets to some games?”, another one of your old colleagues, Yoshio, pouts.
“You’ve been dating him for months and you didn’t think of getting us the numbers of some pro soccer players?”, your friend Yumi practically shoves Yoshio out of the way and you finally relax, melting into genuine laughter.
“You’re right. I’m sorry. Guess we can still make that happen, right, baby?”, there’s a mischievous glint in your eyes when you look at him. He thinks he might get used to being looked at with such daring playfulness.
“Sure. Shuto’s always happy to go on dates-”
“Sendo Shuto?”, Yumi’s eyes get as big as saucers. This time, Oliver laughs with you.
It shouldn’t come as a shock that he’s good at what he does but you still can’t quite believe just how talented he is as a fake boyfriend. You’re aching to ask questions, the entire dinner spent wondering what on earth a famous pro soccer player is even doing on a rent a boyfriend website. Nothing gets past social media these days, wouldn’t that be news eventually? How does he keep it a secret? Is it a second job, a weird fetish?
Akane’s never been particularly traditional from what you can recall but her husband really wanted to incorporate as much traditional customs as possible in their celebration. You sit through course after course of plates and bowls filled with delicious dishes: clear soup with shrimp cake, sashimi, grilled fish glazed with sweet miso, tempura, red rice. All the while Oliver, ankle hooked around yours underneath the table, makes perfect conversation with everyone. He has an answer ready to each question and you pretend to ignore both your colleagues’ and Akane’s bewildered, inquisitorial gazes directed at you from tables away, too busy reciprocating your date’s honeyed praises and smiles.
He gets you alone in between courses, right as everyone is either taking a break or bringing the dancefloor to life before fruit and cake are served. They won’t buy it if we don’t pull away from the crowd for a little bit.
It’s why Oliver currently has you pressed against a retaining wall in a more secluded but still strategically visible part of the garden, body towering over yours and so close you can feel the heat radiating through the fabric of his white shirt.
“A pro soccer player”, you click your tongue, “care to explain?”.
“Relax your shoulders”, he murmurs and smiles, pleased, when you comply right away, “I owe you a date, not explanation”.
You deflate a bit and Oliver curls further over you.
“Fine, keep your secrets”, a pause, “won’t this be a problem if someone takes some pics and leaks them, though?”.
“I stopped caring about that stuff long time ago. But I can have everyone here sign an nda to protect you from it, just say the word”.
You shake your head.
“It’s fine. I’m not really on social media and we’ll split up by tomorrow, anyway”.
“Aw, you’ll break my heart”, one of his hands rises to rest on the side of your neck, thumb softly tracing your jaw, “even after validating how friendly and incredibly charming I am. So cold”.
There’s something about him, a stranger you paid to pretend to be your boyfriend for the sake of not attending yet another wedding alone. It’s odd and has your heart thumping in your chest, something behind your ribs catching fire whenever his fingers graze your skin so intentionally. You wonder if this is really him, if he’s the person you feel so inexplicably drawn to. If there’s a chance of you not being stupid enough to be attracted to a faux boyfriend with a carefully crafted, fictitious personality.
“Make it look like you’re kissing me”, you ignore his teasing for the sake of your sanity and slightly tilt your head up to meet the dangerous glint of mismatched eyes. Oliver lowers his head and tilts it slightly to the side, lips moving against your cheek when he speaks again.
“Put your arms around my neck”, he orders back in a murmur. Your scoff makes him chuckle as he pretends to not notice how you shiver against him.
“This is such a weird side job to have”, your embrace pulls him closer, or maybe it’s the lightest brush of your lips against his chin. When your fingers start carding through the green hair at the base of his nape, he exhales.
“Maybe it’s not a side job. Maybe I’m just here for you, just this once”.
You idly brush your nose against his cheek, a feeling warm and treacherous unfurling in your chest. He pulls back enough to lock your gaze to his once more, still so intense despite being concealed by the partial darkness of this particular corner of the garden. He is so unfairly beautiful. Not far from where you stand, guests are laughing and drinking and dancing, some of them no doubt looking at you two. It’s striking, how little they suddenly matter.
“Maybe that makes me lucky, then”, you whisper, lean into his touch when his other hand cradles your cheek. Oliver gently holds your face in his hands, seemingly conflicted as his gaze falls on your lips. You tilt your head back to give him a better view.
An absurd thought takes shape in a far corner of your mind: will this truly be the one and only time you’ll get to see him? Not that you’d ever be pathetic enough to rent a man from a website multiple times. Let alone the same man. It’s such a weird, ridiculous thing to be disappointed by. You wonder if it’ll rival the disappointment of not being kissed by him.
Oliver wets his lips, the pink flash of his tongue alluring in a maddening way. Your head spins. You don’t recall ever feeling such unusual torment before.
And then, finally, finally, he leans closer.
“Hey, lovebirds!”, Akane’s cheerful tone makes you both jump and you bring a hand to your chest as Oliver takes a wobbly step back, “we didn’t have the chance to chat, are you having fun?”.
She’s not talking to you at all, attentive gaze set on the man next to you.
“Everything’s perfect, thank you for having us. I wish you both everlasting happiness”, you smile, a little tense.
“Well, I can’t say I wasn’t surprised. One almost wishes he was around for all those office christmas parties, right? Remember how you were always the only one to show up alone?”.
You clear your throat, shift your weight from one foot to the other.
“I remember. Always alone and yet still the funniest person in every room, without fail”, with a wink, you hope to conceal the soreness caused by her ungenerous words.
Akane hums.
“I still wonder why that’s such a great coping mechanism…”
“It proves she doesn’t need a man to have a personality”, Oliver straight out grins, one hand comes to rest on your nape and gives it a gentle squeeze, “it’s what I like about her”.
She raises her brows in interest.
“Well, that’s true. She’s pretty great”.
“Yeah, she is”.
You relax under his touch and a strange thrill comes with it, with knowing he possesses the ability to make you feel at ease. He doesn’t exactly dislike such knowledge.
“I’m glad you have each other now”, Akane’s features soften, “maybe one day I’ll be invited to your wedding!”.
You cough, embarrassed.
“Let’s not go overbo-”
“Maybe!”, Oliver chimes in once again, jovial, “who can tell?”.
It almost makes you choke on air. When you look up at him, Akane’s cheerful laughter echoing in the sweet summer evening air, he’s already looking at you.
As you stumble back to join the other guests, heels sinking in the soft grass, the bride gently grazes your arm with the pads of her fingers before rejoining her husband and their closest friends. You know Akane is not a bad person, her words don’t hold any actual venom despite stinging. In her own way she means well, which is why you are so genuinely happy for her. She got the happy ending she was always destined to have. It’s just that not everyone is as lucky and it’s unfair to expect them to be just because she’s part of the chosen ones.
“Where are you going?”, Oliver hooks a finger in the low square back of your dress to pull you in, the contact setting something similar to a flow of electricity running along your spine.
“To eat cake?”, you easily dissimulate. He keeps his finger there, even when you stop in your tracks.
“Let them”, he winks, “may I have this dance?”.
You stay frozen.
“Did you just casually quote Marie Antoinette to me?”, is all you can come up with because, frankly, the idea of a man who already possesses so many blessings being also able to dance is a little too unfair.
“Can’t a man be hot and educated?”, he grins, then finally releases the back of your dress by letting the stretch fabric lightly slap against your back, “don’t think you can distract me, let’s go”.
If there’s one learning to be taken from this impossibly strange evening is that, apparently, there is no escaping Oliver Aiku. He even rivals the promise of a rich serving of white chocolate almond cake with raspberry filling.
He pulls you close on the interlocking parquet dance floor rented by the newlyweds, hands splayed big and warm on your hips as your arms, for the second time, find their way to rest around his neck. You do your best to not feel intimidated by the excessively romantic, slow track everyone else is currently dancing to as well.
Then, it’s as if a spell is cast on you. Or rather a curse.
“Who is he?”, the question surprises you and your eyes find his. Oliver is so close and he smells so unethically good.
“Who?”, yet you struggle to keep your focus, attention oscillating between the stranger you’re currently pressed against and a more familiar face your wandering eyes keep searching, dancing not far from you. Something painfully throbs in your chest.
“The man you keep looking at, who is he?”, Oliver asks softly, almost caringly.
“My ex-boyfriend”, the confession isn’t but a low whisper, “I think. I think he’s here with the woman he cheated on me with. Well, one of them, anyway”, your chuckle is bitter. It distorts the joyfulness of the evening, the mere sight of them suddenly staining, polluting every positive feeling you’ve been able to feel until now.
And then Oliver is grasping your chin, tilting his head to effectively block your view of them. You’re forced to look at him and only him, to focus on how his thumb skating over the skin underneath your bottom lip feels.
“How about you keep your eyes on me, then?”, he whispers.
“Sorry”, you stop yourself with a sigh when your gaze slides once more, “I’m sorry. It’s really stupid”.
“What is?”, his gaze, perhaps involuntarily, falls on your lips, “caring? Feeling hurt?”.
“Don’t do that”.
“What?”.
“Don’t… like, I know this is an act. But you don’t have to do that too, pretend to care. You’re a little too good at it and it confuses me”.
Oliver lets go of your chin and offers a faint smile.
“Well, if it makes you feel any better, you confuse me too”.
You blink a few times, taken aback. He gracefully takes one of your hands from behind his neck and lifts your arm above your head to twirl you. For a moment, his eyes appreciate the airy swirl of the hem of your dress.
“I’m only pretending to be your boyfriend”, everything else feels a little too real, he wants to add. Maybe you’ll read the unsaid in eyes he can’t seem to be able to keep on anything else but you.
“You have a gift”, with a smile, you choose to deflect, “ever thought of giving up the soccer career?”.
“For this, you mean?”, Oliver goes from having his hands on your hips to hooking his arms around your waist, effectively caging you against him. Your forehead grazes his and the wind is swiftly knocked out of your lungs at the sudden proximity.
“Something like that, yeah”, one of your hands toys with his green strands once more, nails lightly scratching the back of his neck. A sound of contentment vibrates low in his throat and it makes you want to pull him close, impossibly closer.
He tilts his head to the side and you feel dizzy because his lips are ever so slightly brushing against yours. Not quite touching them, never kissing them, just there as a faint reminder or rather an intoxicating promise.
“You have to go in about five minutes”, you whisper, perhaps for the sake of feeling more of his mouth so close yet still too far from your own.
“Mm?”, he only manages to let out a confused sound.
You let your nose brush against his own. Playfully, daringly.
“I could only afford a couple hours, not the entire night”.
Oliver welcomes the implications of your admission with a low chuckle.
“And if I stay?”.
“I may be too broke for that”.
He presses a kiss to the very corner of your mouth. Sweet, fleeting. Determined.
“My treat”.
He can keep it platonic for about five more minutes.
[ sakusa kiyoomi ]
considering your boyfriend made it pretty clear on several occasions that he hated valentines, you weren’t surprised he made no move to even contact you during the day. you were slightly disappointed due to the fact that you loved the day, sure, but it wasn’t fair to place your disappointment on him when you knew what you were getting yourself into due to the years of friendship before dating, so you didn’t dwell much on it.
you had asked previously if you two would meet tonight and when he mumbled a response about how he would probably be practicing late, you took over your co-workers shift to save yourself the boredom of being home alone while consecutively giving her a chance to see her partner, earning multiple ‘thank you!’s and a promise that she will take your shift whenever as she rushed out, prompting you to smile.
you loved valentines.
you didn’t have a solid reason on why you did, but you didn’t need one. you loved being surrounded with red heart balloons and roses wherever you walked and you loved the glee on people’s faces as they celebrated the day with their beloveds. it made you feel warm every time despite your plans or status and you couldn’t help but smile as you watched a boy blush furiously as his girlfriend handed him flowers, giggling quietly with a love-dazed face.
the obnoxious bell ringing against the glass door made you turn to the costumers walking in, your smile widening just slightly as you saw osamu and atsumu bickering as they approached the counter until their eyes landed on you and widened just the slightest, atsumu gasping. “yer working today?!”
“yeah,” you mused, placing your chin on your palm. “you’re both spending valentines together?”
they both shot you a glare that only caused your grin to widen, placing their usual orders down on the system either way. osamu grunted. “he finished his date early and went over to have a mental breakdown at my restaurant.”
atsumu gaped at him for a few seconds in pure betrayal as you let out a quiet snicker before he shot his twin a harsh glare. “at least i had plans!”
osamu gave him a glare back. “they are out of town, you little—“
“please don’t scare my costumers away,” you retorted, cutting them off. they both huffed, avoiding eye contact before their eyes landed back on you and atsumu raised an eyebrow.
“what about ya? plans ended early?”
“there were no plans,” you shrugged casually, adding extra syrup into osamu’s drink while catching the discreet way his eyes lightened up at the action. “kiyoomi hates valentines.”
atsumu frowned. “but ya love valentines!”
you hummed, sliding osamu’s drink over. “so? i don’t have to spend it with him against his will to be happy.”
osamu stared at you with furrowed eyebrows and a frown that matched his twin’s. “yer too nice. so, where is he today?”
you shrugged. “told me he was practicing.”
they both shared a look before looking at you and speaking in sync. “when do you get off? we’re taking you out.”
you smiled as you slid atsumu’s drink over, stating that the drinks were on the house when they attempted to pay before telling them that you only had a few minutes left. as you finished the last bit of your shift, you could hear them checking with their partners that it was okay and you couldn’t help but silently melt at how cute their relationships were as you waited for the last costumer to leave and closed up, shrugging your jacket off before calling out for them.
the rest of the day was nice. the three of you bought over-priced cupcakes and ate them in a dark playground, half the time spent with you laughing in amusement while they argued while the other half was spent with the three of you gossiping about drama suna had shared. they even bought you a red heart-shaped balloon and you almost teared up as you gleefully accepted it, thanking them frantically as they walked you to the door of your apartment building.
“can i do something before ya leave?” atsumu grinned mischievously and you snorted as you nodded, interested to see what his plan was. he simply got out his phone, making you stand between the twins before he snapped a selfie of the three of you, making sure to capture osamu’s small smirk, the balloon and his poked-out tongue before he beamed. “sent!”
you raised an amused eyebrows as osamu snickered. “you sent that to kiyoomi?”
“yeah, told him we stole ya.”
you laughed as you bid them your goodbyes and made your way up to your joined apartment, humming your favorite song under your breath softly. you assumed your boyfriend was still practicing, so you were pleasantly surprised when you unlocked the door and the lights were all on, your boyfriend’s shoes in their usual spot.
“kiyoomi, i’m home!” you called out after a sleepy yawn, expecting to get a simple ‘in our room!’ or anything back. instead, your boyfriend walked out of the hallway with furrowed eyebrows and a frown.
“you were with the miyas?”
“hm? yeah.” you hummed, placing your stuff down on the coffee table, too sleepy to notice the way he was practically sulking. “they came before my shift ended and decided to take me out. when did you arrive?”
he huffed as he dragged himself over, strong arms pulling you into a tight hug as he buried his face into your neck. you smiled softly, your hands moving to lock into his hair as you hugged him even tighter. he hummed softly. “i missed you, how was your day?”
“it was nice,” you murmured quietly, enjoying the warmth he provided. “i love valentine’s day.”
he froze. you obliviously continued.
“the café was super busy, but it was nice seeing everyone on dates, you know? there were a lot of roses as well and it’s just so heartwarmin—“
he pulled away quickly, eyebrows furrowed deeply. “you… you love valentines?”
“hm?” you blinked. “yeah? it’s my favorite holiday.”
“you love valentines?”
you let out a small laugh at how cute he looked when he was confused. “of course i do. everyone knows i do, kiyoomi, how did you never notice?”
he tugged his hands into his hair. “how did i not notice— why didn’t you tell me you loved valentines?”
you shrugged calmly, not seeing the issue, and your nonchalance only seemed to make him even more distressed. “you hate valentines so i didn’t see why i should mention it, you know? i didn’t want you to force yourself to plan anything or do anything for me.”
he stared at you for a few seconds before he fell back on the couch, burying his face into his hands and mumbling muffled words before he let his hands fall down and frowned. “you’re an awful human being.”
you were too amused to take offense as you shrugged a few of the thick layers you wore off. “why am i an awful human being, my love?”
“how can you not tell me you love valentines? i would have taken a day off and i would bought you those stupid overpriced flowers and those overpriced chocolates you would hate and we could have spent the entire day together and—“
“you don’t like valentines.”
“yeah, but i love you.” he huffed. “i love you and i want to make you happy.”
“i’m always happy with you,” you assured, slightly entertained. “i promise. why do you seem more upset about us not spending this together than me?”
“because i was under the impression that you also hate valentines,” he muttered as exhaustion finally seemed to take over, his drooped shoulders and pout causing the almost 6’3 professional athlete to seem like a child. you took the seat beside him and he immediately laid his head down on your lap, huffing. “i didn’t know you liked it. i would have planned the best day if i knew you did, i promise.”
“you keep missing the point, my love.”
“what’s the point of anything if i ruined our first valentines together?”
“you’re such a drama queen,” you snorted softly, running your hands through his soft hair as he blinked sleepily. “the point is that i don’t need to celebrate valentines with you to be happy, kiyoomi, and you not buying ‘overpriced flowers’ won’t make me love you any less. i knew what i was getting myself into when i started dating you, i don’t want you to change and i genuinely don’t mind.”
his cheeks flushed, but he still sulked. “whatever, i’m taking you out next year.”
“or… we can stay in and order takeout? how’s that?”
“i’ll buy a stupid bouquet too.”
you grinned at his sleepily grumbles. “you can buy me a stupid bouquet then. you can even buy me stupid chocolates too, how’s that?”
“i will,” he mumbled determinedly, eyes finally shutting. “i love you so much, i’m sorry.”
“i love you and you have nothing to be sorry about, my love.” you promised, leaning to kiss his forehead. you only got a soft snore in response, your grin widening.
you truely couldn’t wish for a better valentines.
—
pouty sakusa supremacy :p anw valentine ended 22 minutes ago for me but yolo ! hope you enjoy this one :)
LUCKY GIRL SYNDROME — NISHIMURA RIKI
SYNOPSIS — NISHIMURA RIKI’S GIRLFRIEND IS A WELL-KNOWN YOUTUBER. UNFORTUNATELY, HIS FRIENDS, HIS COMPANY, AND HIS FANS BELIEVE THAT HE’S JUST A DELUSIONAL FAN OF HERS.
PAIRING — IDOL!NI-KI X YOUTUBER!READER STARRING — NI-KI, READER, ENHYPEN, IVE’S WONYOUNG, LESSERAFIM’S CHAEWON, AESPA’S KARINA, NEWJEANS’ HAERIN WITH GUEST STARS ZB1’S RICKY, TXT’S BEOMGYU WARNINGS/NOTES (tba) — 100% CRACK, TEAM EDWARD GC ARE NOT IDOLS RELEASE DATE — 18TH JULY
PROFILES — 4LIFERZ | TEAM EDWARD
CHAPTERS — 1: TODAY’S SELFIE 2: SO SWEET 3: EVERYTHING WILL COME TRUE 4: MWAH! 5: WE'RE SO LUCKY 5: GOLDEN TICKET 7: HASHTAG LUCKY GIRL EPILOGUE: TOGETHER, YOU AND ME
TAGLIST — OPEN @sunpov @lukesboo @lambys-stuff @rikisgeef @hiekoo @sol3chu @sakiimeo @joyzluvr @femmefqtqle @1lovestrawberrymilk @jakeyverse @xeee334 @erisasleep @kyanmeai @sunooluuvr @dreeki @laurradoesloveu @kittsnewera @illvding @d-dilemma @unhakki @greentulip @clampclover @yourmyst4r @randomanothercreature @mheretoreadff @winabite
IMPATIENT.
𝓢.ㅤ he had everything planned out but how's he supposed to wait when it comes to you?
PSHㅤ୨୧ ⠀ femreader⠀ . . .ㅤ fluff, established relationship, sunghoon pov, awkward ending oops idk how to end stuff, this is a repost cos i accidentally deleted it a while agoㅤ1147 words
sunghoon often gets overwhelmed by his feelings for you. sometimes the love he feels gets to be so intense that he doesn't know what to do, losing the ability to think rationally about anything that has to do with you.
he knew right away that he wanted to be the one to marry you but he held back for the four years and eight months that you dated, waiting until you talked about marriage first. you'd brought it up to him one morning, a simple conversation. one he replayed for weeks.
during those weeks he planned everything; his proposal. he bought a ring, bought tickets to paris (jake's idea—city of love and all that), booked a really nice hotel, and he had a whole itinerary for the day he planned on proposing. he's pretty sure he's going to be in debt for the rest of his life because of these expenses but it's worth it.
when he brought up the trip to you he simply played it off as something for your five year anniversary, it was close enough to the date so you didn't think much of it. five years was a long time so why wouldn't you do something special?
so on thursday morning, you rush to the airport because someone (sunghoon) didn't want to leave your embrace yet. thankfully, you made it on time, sunghoon holding tightly onto your hand to make sure he doesn't lose you in the crowd.
it takes fourteen hours to get from seoul to paris and another hour to drive to the hotel. the flight was.. okay. as good as a flight can be but god was it tiring, you don't think you and sunghoon have ever been as happy as you were to see a bed until tonight.
the next day you take it easy, spending most of it inside your hotel room, briefly stepping out to get dinner at some restaurant nearby. you're walking back, hands swinging back and forth slightly.
"what're we doing tomorrow?"
sunghoon hums, "it's a surprise,"
you knock your shoulder against his, "can i have a hint?"
"nope,"
you groan, throwing your head back while sunghoon smiles fondly at you. he loves you, he knows that. today, though, it feels like it's bigger than love. a lot bigger. you haven't even done anything significant today; it was practically just a regular day. okay, other than the fact that you were at a hotel in paris, but he ignores that part.
honestly, he isn't sure if there's a word deep enough to describe how he feels for you. it feels like he's drowning, sinking deeper and deeper every second that he spends with you and he's okay with that. more than okay; he's happy.
he wants to make you happy, too. he wants to spend the rest of his life seeing your smile and your laugh. he feels a slight wave of anxiety wash over him—what if he messes everything up? what if his proposal turns out to be awful?
he sighs, shaking those thoughts out of his head, instead focusing on you whine about how you need him to tell you what the surprise is. he just laughs at you, pulling out the key to the hotel room.
"i'll tell you tomorrow when we wake up, okay?"
"or now," you smile up at him, wrapping your arms around his shoulders. his hands instinctively go to your waist.
"i can't, baby,"
"i'm gonna stay up all night thinking about this,"
he leans down, placing a kiss on the crown of your head, "yeah, i'm sure you will,"
you don't stay up all night. in fact, you fall asleep almost right away, probably still exhausted from yesterday's flight. sunghoon wishes he could fall asleep as easily as you, but he can't. not when he's proposing to you tomorrow. the presence of the ring hidden inside his suitcase is too suffocating, it's like he can feel it in his hands already.
he pulls you closer to his chest, pressing his cheek against the top of your head. he really hopes that tomorrow will be your last day as simply boyfriend and girlfriend.
he falls asleep after you but he wakes up before you. he's glad that he did because it gives him the opportunity to stare at you. he likes when he wakes up before you; it gives him the chance to see you at your most peaceful, when all the stress from your life is missing.
he shifts, cupping your cheek with his hand, rubbing small circles against your skin. he stares at you for a few seconds longer before leaning forward to place a kiss on your forehead.
"g'morning,"
he smiles against your skin, "morning, baby. did i wake you up? i'm sorry,"
you groan, pulling away from him so that you can rub your eyes, "no, i was already awake,"
he hums and you sit up, stretching your arms out.
"i didn't forget about the surprise, by the way," you glance towards him, "tell me, pretty please,"
he's quiet when he speaks, licking his lips, "i love you,"
"i know you do. i love you too. is that your surprise?" you lay back down, the two of you facing each other.
"will you marry me?"
he doesn't think before asking you. it forces its way out of his mouth, not giving him any choice in the matter. at first he doesn't care, but soon you can practically see him go though all five stages of grief.
"wait, wait, wait," he presses his hand over you mouth when you begin to speak, "don't say anything. i—god, let me ask you for real. i want it to be special, not something i say randomly,"
you listen to him patiently, waiting for him to stop before pulling his hand away from your mouth, "that was special, silly,"
he gives you a dirty look, "uh, no. i don't think me proposing to you in a hotel bed is special,"
"i think so. it's like.. you really couldn't wait to ask me,"
"i couldn't wait,"
"and i can't wait to answer you,"
he stares at you, taking in your expression. you're smiling at him, a soft smile that he hasn't seen from you before. it's different than all your other smiles, he doesn't know why. this one feels like you can understand the feeling that he has for you; something way beyond love.
"will you marry me?"
you giggle, a grin breaking out onto your face, "can i answer this time?"
he nods.
"mhm, i'll marry you,"
"thank you,"
"you don't have to thank me,"
he smiles, "yeah, i do. thank you for letting me into your life all those years ago and thank you for letting me stay in it," he leans forward, pressing his lips against yours, "i love you more than love."
note. idk why i deleted this hello ... i think i hated it that's why LMAOOO
my name. | nishimura riki
PAIRING ▸ nishimura riki! x reader
GENRE ▸ detective! au, fantasy! au, high school! au, s2ls, romance, fluff, angst, humor, SLOW BURN
WC ▸ 15.6k
SUMMARY ▸ you supposedly get transported to a different world, where you encounter niki. apparently, you already existed here. note: past tense. so now you’re stuck in an alternate universe and technically, you’re supposed to be dead.
AKA after facing the truth, you come to the realization that someone was definitely trying to kill you.
AN/NOTES ▸ mentions of death!!!, a murder mystery/whodunit, profanity, mentions of suicide, depictions of murder, a few curse words, violence, blood, dead bodies, some gorey stuff, kissing, nothing too harsh, excuse any typos/misspellings...
wow... i can't believe it but it is finally out... it's been a long time coming lol. with losing several family members and hospital visits over the past year, i wasn't sure if this was ever going to get released. thank you all for your endless (fr) patience and support. happy reading ❤️
a faceless figure stretches out a hand towards you.
you squint but for some reason, you still can’t make them out. the longer you stare, the more you realize it was a person—a blurry vision of a faceless boy. considering the matching uniform to yours, he must’ve gone to your school …was he your classmate?
you frown. you’ve never seen anyone like him in class before. you stretch out your arm, fingertips barely grazing his-
the sound of the school bell ringing causes your eyelids to fly open. you groan, yawning and getting up from your seat by the window by default.
it wasn’t a nice nap—just one that left you feeling groggy, unsettled, and strangely incomplete.
you pack up your stuff quietly and leave the classroom alone, not bothering to look for your friends. as you walk down the stairs, you hear your classmates chattering about the weather.you glance outside.
it was a dreary, unwelcoming kind of rain—part of the reason why you fell asleep earlier in class—and you suddenly feel the urge to get home. as soon as possible.
you weren’t sure why, but it wasn’t just raining. it started to pour, especially hard, on this spring day. you want to think that was what made your mood all miserable and forlorn.
not to forget the fact that you didn’t have an umbrella, leaving you no other choice but to throw your hood on and tighten the strings of your hoodie over your school uniform. not exactly the most stylish look, yet it was comfortable enough for you.
you couldn’t put a finger on the emotion, but you felt out of place, like for some weird reason… you didn’t belong here. like you belonged out of this circle, away from this life and world.
that feeling always came up when it started to rain, and you always tried your best to suppress it. but it was particularly strong today.
you shrugged it off though. those “phases” weren’t uncommon, right?
though you made it halfway out the school grounds by yourself, hyein and hanni catch up to you as you walk. you give them a half-hearted smile, “hey.”
it doesn’t take much for them to notice your off behavior. hyein eyes you.
“you okay, y/n?”
you debate internally, reminding yourself that they’re your friends. you can trust them, rely on them. you’re allowed to do that. even more so, aren’t you supposed to do that?
but the words that come out of your mouth suggest otherwise. you shrug, “it’s nothing. it’s just been a weird day, you know?”
they share a glance before turning back to you, sympathetic smiles on their faces. hanni pats you on the shoulder, “yeah, we get it. you should get some rest at home, y/n. we’ll see you tomorrow, okay?”
“be careful on the way back! the rain doesn’t look like it’s stopping soon.” she calls out before they continue, leaving you behind—still as soaked as ever.
you wave before sighing, gripping the straps of your backpack tighter and making your way towards the train station. the sound of the rain almost makes you fall into a daze as you go about your way. all your school stuff and clothes were definitely getting soaked, which probably meant an oncoming cold, but you could’ve cared less.
the only thing that mattered was going home and sleeping off this weird feeling, so it could become tomorrow and you didn’t have to be in this situation anymore.
the train station is strangely busy, you figure the downpour was making everyone go home sooner. you bypass several people, almost getting your soaked and stained shoes stepped on several times. all while muttering quiet “excuse me’s” to practically everyone and anyone who cared to listen.
after what seemed like ages, you manage to make it to your train. although, the large crowd surrounding the entrance effectively prevents you from getting anywhere.
you mutter a curse, trying to navigate through the waves of people. you just barely get on before the doors begin closing. letting out a huff in relief, you lean back against the door and slowing yourself a moment to close your eyes in peace. all the seats were obviously taken at that point, so you had no choice but to stand. that’s fine—you end up drifting off anyway.
you don’t know how long it’s been since you fell asleep. or why you feel even more exhausted when you wake up. but the robotic voice announcing your arrival makes your eyes automatically flutter open. you feel your body getting pushed and shoved around as everyone tries to get out all at once.
so you grit your teeth and tug down your hood further until you can finally get out. you don’t pay much attention to your surroundings, too focused on not getting knocked to the ground. when you finally stumble out of the crowd onto the station platform, you try to collect yourself while shaking your head. then you frown,
wait a second-
something solid knocks into you from the side, a rough oof! escaping out of their--mouth?
you’re knocked onto the ground, bottom first. pain shoots into your palms that tried (and failed) to catch your fall—and obviously, your butt as well.
you groan, eyes flashing in annoyance at your unknown assailant. looking up, you stop at the sight of the… boy in front of you.
you really have no idea why, but a question immediately pops into your head—
have you met before?
you don’t voice it, but it lingers in the back of your mind. the boy—as far as you can tell, he looks around your age— simply stares at you. he’s in a strikingly similar uniform.
a flicker of recognition passes in his eyes before you watch his expression grow flabbergasted. he continues to stare at you for a solid minute, while you only stare back in confusion, still on the floor.
“it’s rude to stare, you know.” you finally state with a furrowed brow as you quickly gathering your bearings.
his only response is a blink.
it's like the two of you are frozen in time, everyone else getting drowned out in the moment.
you frown, narrowing your eyes at him. “hello? did you hear me?” you repeat yourself and this time he snaps out of it.
“y-you’re not supposed to be here.” he gets out shakily, looking around while his hand runs through his dark locks in distress. you cross your arms, “what do you mean? this is my stop…”
you falter when you remember what you saw earlier. when you got off the train, you took a quick glance at the signs and posts. yeah, this definitely wasn’t your stop.
that wouldn’t have been a huge issue- if it wasn’t for the fact that you never missed your station, no matter the circumstances.
“no!” he exclaims and you flinch at the outburst. the boy glances at you again, and this time you involuntarily shiver at the unreadable look in his eyes.
“you’re…. you’re supposed to be dead.”
your mouth drops open.
“what a great first thing to say to someone you just bowled over. not even a sorry..” you mutter off, suddenly finding the strength to get up and wipe your hands.
the boy takes a step back away from you. curiously, you take one forward, towards him. he gestures a hand at you almost aggressively.
“you’re dead. you died. i swear-“
you hold out your hands in half desperation and half exasperation, “i dunno if this is some dumb prank or something i missed, but i hate to break it to you. i’m not dead. i’m literally right here in front of you. i think i would know if i died or not. i’m-”
again, that feeling of being out of place washes over you. this time it steals your breath away.
the strange boy shakes his head. “there’s no way. i know exactly who you look like.”
his next words make your blood run cold.
“you’re exactly like y/n y/l/n—who died a week ago.” he looks you up and down again, hands curling into fists.
“who are you? and why do you look just-?”
“because that’s who i am? my name is y/n! now, if you would excuse me.”
you hold up a hand, you didn’t have the time or patience to deal with weirdos on the street. it did struck a little odd that he knew your name, but then again he must’ve gone to your school and heard of you somewhere. the only thing that unsettled you was his reaction.
it just seemed too real, like he couldn’t have been that good at acting.
he grabs your arm to prevent you from leaving. all he does is shake his head again like he’s just trying to reassure himself. you’re about to protest, so utterly confused at what’s happening-how you missed your stop and why this strange boy is saying that you’re dead. none of it makes sense.
his face looks pale and grim, and you’re sure yours look exactly the same. “you can’t be y/n. and yet, here you are right in front of me.”
“i will scream like a little girl for help if you don’t let me go at this-“
“p-please. this isn’t a joke. you can’t be here. we need to get out of here—where everyone can’t see you.”
before you can even splutter a response, he drags you off.
you can call me niki, his words echo in your head.
his name rolls off your tongue unfamiliarly. in his states of panic—to which niki kept slapping himself and you kept denying that you were a hallucination—
you ended up introducing yourselves and deciding to find a better place to discuss. more like, niki decided. you soon began to regret that decision.
all you wanted to do was go home, but this persistent kid you’ve never seen before wouldn’t let you or your conscience go. maybe it was the weird feeling from earlier, but you have the urge to at least hear him out. but when you walked out of that train station behind him, everything was wrong.
you don’t know how to describe it. it was right but… at the same time, it wasn’t.
to begin with, you ended up at the wrong station but it led you to the right street to get home. the streets name were the same, but the stores weren’t.
and the bus stop—the bus driver that had worked there for fifteen years, the one you had greeted for fifteen years, suddenly became an entirely different person. he never missed a day, no matter what occasion it was.
things weren’t right and you had no idea what was going on.
following niki, you get lost in your thoughts. you shake your head, clapping a hand over your forehead. maybe… you’re just in a weird dream. a really realistic one, because none of this made sense. it wasn’t raining anymore either, which would’ve been fine, excluding for one tiny detail: the streets were completely dry. judging by the strength of the rain earlier, it really shouldn’t—no, it couldn’t have dried up that fast.
It wasn’t physically possible.
you could easily navigate your way around this area because you lived here all your life. and yet, it felt like you didn’t live here. not when this random stranger (only on a first name basis) keeps insisting that you died.
niki—or whoever—leads you to a very familiar library, the same one where you spent hours studying for your finals. you head in, feeling a bit better hearing the familiar entrance chime. you walk ahead of him to take your spot by the back corner. the fact that this place was essentially the same gave you some comfort.
niki seems surprised, but he doesn’t say anything, only taking the seat across from you.
“okay.” you start, glancing at the boy with wary eyes.
“if whatever bs you’re spewing is true, explain.”
he raises his eyebrows.
“me? explain?”
you nod and he scoffs, “i think you’re the one who should be explaining. after all, you’re the one that’s supposed to be dead-“
“i’m not dead.” you grit out, rolling your eyes.
“okay, okay,” he raises his hands in surrender, “but you still need to talk.”
you sigh, rubbing your temples.
“what do you want me to say? that i got soaked, took the train home, overslept, and then missed my stop? then, i bumped into a weird boy-”
he shoots you an offended look, which you ignore.
“-who keeps telling me that i died. oh, and the more and more i stay here with you, the more wrong everything gets?” you barely get the last word out before niki leans in, eyes focused intently on you.
the closer he gets, you more you begin to malfunction. you unconsciously hold your breath, alarm and confusion evident in your eyes. his hand reaches out, slowly, to your head. your body freezes.
his fingers catch a drop of water at the tip of your hair. “sorry. that was bothering me.”
you exhale, glaring at him. “are you serious?”
“yeah. are you?”
“no,” you deadpan, “i’m a ghost and i’m haunting you. of course i’m being serious!”
he gives you an unconvinced look and you roll your eyes, “i’m y/n y/l/n. we live an hour away from the capital. my house is two blocks away in the neighborhood with the broken fountain, and right now we’re at the library that doesn’t open on thursdays.
you harshly tug off your suddenly dry hoodie, displaying your school uniform.
“and by the looks of it, we go to the same school.”
his eyes widen as he leans in closer to study your uniform. you shrug away, caught off guard. then you frown, “but i’ve never seen you before at school. how do i know that you’re not some imposter? that you somehow stole a uniform to get something from me?”
he rolls his eyes while you gaze at him suspiciously.
“obviously not, because that’s dumb.”
you scoff.
“i live here. why would i go through all the trouble to steal a uniform to get something from you? besides, what would i need from some-“
he glances at you and you tense,
“-kid like you? you’re the one who came out of the train looking so suspicious, it’s like you appeared out of nowhere,” he counters.
you place your palms flat on the table, “okay, it’s obvious we aren’t getting anywhere. we both don’t have answers and we’re not even close to one. all i know is that i’m alive,” you shoot him another look, “and that i somehow ended up here. now, can i go?”
there’s a brief pause before niki speaks up, slowly. “i already told you, you can’t be seen. come with me. and keep the hood on.”
you roll your eyes. who was he to boss you around?
he grumbles something along the lines of- “don’t want to be seen walking around with a dead person.”
the only reason you listened was partly due to fear that you would lose your way in this familiar, yet unfamiliar place. except, you know exactly where he’s taking you. because it’s the same neighborhood you live in.
“wait,” you call out, “this is where i live.” you point to your house, and niki grimaces.
“i know. there were police here for days.”
you stop, unsure of what to say or do. police? at your house? when?
you stare at your supposed house, suddenly dark and empty. what in the world happened?
“come on,” niki calls out and you move to catch up. you’re starting to think niki may be telling the truth.
soon enough, you make it to an unfamiliar house about a street down from yours. as niki unlocks the door, you take the opportunity to study him, trying to recall if you’ve ever seen him before. but when he turns to you, you clear your throat and look away.
“this is my house,” he tilts his head while opening the door.
you like the fact that it’s messy. it felt much more homey because of that. it was also a lot bigger than yours, filled with fancy and intricate things. to which you assume this niki guy has more money than he has yet to admit. he tells you to wait in the living room, and he soon returns with a stack of books.
you pause, “yearbooks?“
he nods, “yeah, our school’s.”
strangely enough, most of the covers are different than yours at home.
but everything else is the same, like the name and logo. he pulls out this year’s yearbook and flips through before stopping at a page.
“that’s me,” he points to the picture of him and you tilt your head, frowning.
“huh. so we are in the same year. but i’ve never seen you in my yearbook—or at school before. i swear i would’ve seen you at least once before...”
you rub your temples, this whole situation was making your head hurt. none of it made sense. you study his picture, why in the world did he actually look good in his yearbook photo? your eyes shift toward his name,
nish—
he turns the page before you can finish reading, only to get distracted by seeing familiar classmates in your yearbook. niki stays silent as he flips through pages and you continue to point out your friends and classmates and stare in wonder at the unfamiliar ones-
ones that you’ve never seen before in your life but somehow their faces are printed on the page, in the same grade and same school as you.
just like niki. you were actually speechless.
eventually, he stops flipping eventually and looks at you. you catch his eye and glance down at the page, immediately catching on. you breath hitches.
“no way—”
“—and there’s you.”
it is you. you can confirm, it’s a photo of someone who looks exactly like you. but… it’s not you.
almost everything is the same, your face and clothes. your hair was cut shorter, and your smile wider for the picture. you were even wearing makeup, for crying out loud. you can only stare at the photo.
according to niki, this you is dead?
you look up at him, stomach churning. what in the world was going on?
the silence lasts until niki finally speaks up with a hesitant tone. “i might be tripping, but have you ever heard of… alternate realities?”
you shake your head firmly, “don’t even get me started on that-“
he cuts you off, “i know, i know. but just hear me out.”
you have no choice but to internally whisper a quiet plea of help. he scoots closer,
“wouldn’t it make sense? there’s really no other explanation. maybe it’s because i watched that spider-man movie recently, but you being from another world would explain how you’re alive right now—when in this world, you’re dead. plus, all the similarities and differences that you mentioned can be chalked up to different timelines—the butterfly effect and stuff like that.”
you don’t know what to say.
could it actually be?
what other explanation could there be?
“please say something,” niki mumbles and you release a breath you didn’t even know you were holding.
“okay. okay. fine. say the whole multiverse crap is true. then how did i even get here? how did i—”
you do air quotations,
“—switch dimensions to another world?”
niki shrugs, “no idea.”
he scratches his head, “it’s weird to think about but i mean, maybe there’s a reason why you came here.”
his voice suddenly gets lower and you shiver, “you know, the timing’s a bit weird that you showed up right after the other you passed away.”
you clear your throat, “let’s not think about that right now. we should probably focus on the whole me being dead thing, right?”
“what?”
you glance at him questioningly, “what?”
niki raises an eyebrow. “what’s there to focus on? you died.”
you don’t have to rub it in my face, you mumble under your breath.
“shouldn’t we be focusing on how to get you back to your world?”
you roll your eyes, “sure, but still, i kinda want to know how i died? i think i deserve to, you know, so maybe i don’t make the same dumb mistake back home.”
“-if you ever get home,” he corrects and you huff.
“whatever, just tell me. we don’t even know if your dumb alternate reality theory is right.”
“okay,” niki rubs his hands nervously and you wait in anticipation.
“well, it actually happened last thursday.”
you swallow. why was your heart rate picking up?
“at school. on, uh, the rooftop. no one witnessed it, and the cctv was broken so we don’t have any exact answers. but from what I’ve heard,” he gives you a cautious glance,
“the police are about ready to call it a suicide.”
at first, you think you misheard him. but the hesitant gaze and pause proves you otherwise.
at first it doesn’t hit you. but then suddenly you feel sick to your stomach. your hand grips the table for support as you try to take it all in.
you?
a suicide at school?
what about your family, your friends-
“no,” you whisper, shaking your head. “i… i would never-“
you slam your hands on the table, “i know myself. i would never do that.”
his face is grim and sympathetic, which you can feel the dislike churn in your stomach at that. “i’m really sorry… that’s the current situation. it kinda blew up at school, but everything’s still so recent that nothing is confirmed yet.“
unspoken words linger in the back of his head, that he questions if he should say it or not.
that niki really didn’t know you that well, that you were just another classmate of his. one that he passed in the halls without a second glance back. that the you in his world-
was just a stranger to him.
yet seeing you, desperate and alive, right in front of his eyes. he doesn’t know what to do or say. so niki watches you bury your head in your hands. and he waits.
it’s only a couple of minutes later that you look up. his face morphs into one of surprise when he sees your determined expression.
“niki,” you state carefully and he nods, waiting patiently.
“are you sure that i-i did it?”
you can’t bring yourself to say the word but niki gets it. he sighs,
“no. no one’s sure. but from what i’ve heard, the police haven’t found any other motives so… a suicide seemed most likely.” the more and more niki talked, the more unsure he got.
your face hardens.
“so there’s no proof? the police aren’t doing their freaking job and investigating?”
his eyes widen—surprised at your sudden outburst—and you sigh, voice falling to a whisper.
“did i really commit suicide? and why do i care so much?”
something warm falls over your hand and you jump, glancing up.
even for only a split second, his hand covers yours in a sympathetic attempt, “i’m sorry y/n. i wish i had answers but i really don’t know…”
despite the awkward look on niki’s face and overall awkward situation, his words strangely comfort you.
you bite your bottom lip. “i-i have to get to my house.”
he stiffens, “what?”
you stare at him, eyes sharp, “if no one else is going to do something, i at least have to.”
you need to. for yourself.
niki scoots closer, “y/n, you can’t just-“
“i know. but i need to know. something just-ugh,” you rub your face in frustration, “something doesn’t add up. i have to check. it’s like i can feel it deep within me.”
he sits there wordlessly. when you don’t get a response, you stand up. niki splutters, “w-where are you going?”
you cross your arms, “without or without you, i’m going to my house.”
he slaps a hand to his face in frustration. “just how stubborn are you?” he mumbles. you hear it and yet you decide to ignore him.
“thanks for the help i guess,” you give him a (weak) half-smile before turning towards the door
“wait! you’re being serious?!”
his desperate voice calls out and you internally debate if you should listen to him or not. slowly, you turn back around, “yeah. do you need something?”
“no, but you do— a plan. especially since the police closed off your house for investigation. plus, most of the evidence would have been taken already.” he clasps his hands together behind his back.
you shrug. “okay, and? i’ll still find a way. i have nothing to lose. i’m not even supposed to be alive.”
he groans loudly and you raise an eyebrow.
“idiot. i’m trying to say that i’ll help you. i-i want to help you.”
“i didn’t ask,” you raise your hands in mock surrender. annoyed, niki puts his hands on his hips.
“sure, but i know plenty of things you don’t. this is my world. so, are you gonna accept or not?”
“you wish you did,” you retort, yet you can’t help the small smile that grows on your face, “but… i would appreciate it. just be grateful that i’m accepting your dumb theory from a spider-man movie as of right now.”
niki gulps at the sight. it was the first time he saw you smile since you met. at least, the first smile he saw from the you of an alternate universe.
“whatever you say,” he holds out a hand,
“miss imposter.”
you take it gladly, harshly. “don’t call me that-“
“my name is y/n y/l/n.”
you spin around in niki’s chair, having went up to his room to figure out your so called master plan. niki (respectfully) offered to let you stay in his room for the length of your “visit.”
to which you almost punched him.
but he explained that there were no extra guest rooms and you were still technically dead, so hiding in his room was the best bet as to not raise any questions. you could take the makeshift bed in the corner of his room as to not raise suspicion. you were surprised yet grateful.
“i’ll grab extra blankets and pillows. and i’ll sneak you food and whatever you need.”
“what about clothes and toiletries?”
he yawns, “easy. i’ll steal some from my sisters.”
you feel bad, but you realize you have no other choice. you were literally stuck here.
a part of you still wondered if this was a dream. a horrible one, at the least. but while you were stuck here, might as well make the best of it. niki graciously offered and you had no choice but to accept. you almost scoff at the ridiculousness of the situation.
“so basically, i’m like a secret pet you’re hiding from your parents?”
“technically… yes,” niki rubs his hands together, and you can only watch the mischievous expression grow on his face.
“but i like to think that you’re like eleven. you’re different—you’re special, like her.”
you hold back a laugh at the words.
clearing your throat, you try to play it off. “from stranger things? your world has that show too?” he lets out a scandalous gasp and this time you giggle.
“of course, dude. what kind of world would i be living in if i didn’t have stranger things?”
“apparently a horrible one,” you snort.
after the whole living situation was sorted out, you returned to your investigation.
“so you’re saying the police taped off my house for further examination?”
“uh, yeah? that’s how it works?” he raises a brow.
you stuck your tongue out at him, “okay, smartass. then how do we get in?”
“clearly, there’s only one way: sneak in.”
“i don’t think this is a good idea?” niki whisper shouts at you and you shush him.
the sun was barely setting. if anyone knew you, they knew you really couldn’t be deemed as patient of any sort.
niki watches you struggle up the tree in your backyard.
obviously, going through the front door was a no go. luckily this house looked pretty much the same as your house, at least from the outside. you knew your parents weren’t home judging by the darkness. you wondered if they were staying with other family.
or were they at work? so soon after your death?
you grimace, now was not the time to be getting in your feelings.
the best (only) option was jumping the backyard fence and going in through your bedroom window. leading to your predicament now.
you exhale heavily when you find a place to rest, gripping the tree with all your might in hopes that you don’t fall
you glance down at niki.
“can you make it?”
he scoffs,
“easy.”
it was easy— easy for you to watch niki struggle to get up to your point.
you were sort of scared the tree wasn’t going to support both your weights, at the way it was trembling slightly. niki makes it though, by the time the sun is well down.
you can see him sweating heavily and your nose scrunches in amusement,“easy, huh?”
“yeah, for you just standing there and watching me. we don’t have all day, grandma.”
“don’t call me that,” you mutter while stretching out towards your window.
niki’s eyes widen.
“be careful, y/n.”
“i got it,” you stretch out a leg to the ledge and your sweaty hands begin to slide from the bark, most likely from exertion.
without even thinking about it, niki places his hands around your waist to stabilize you. you don’t notice in your concentration to not fall to your death. you certainly didn’t want another dead you.
your foot clicks the lock, and with a grunt you’re able to push the window open.
“you got it?”
“yeah,” you breathe out, clumsily making your way in. you reach out a hand for niki and he takes it, maneuvering his long body in through the small window.
finally, you can breathe.
it’s the first time you have the luxury to desperately wish that you were home right now. your real home. you certainly didn’t mean this home, the empty and cold looking one locked up for the police’s investigation.
after catching your breath, you get up to examine your surroundings. you weren’t not sure what you were expecting. this was the other you’s room.
all you can think is, at least this y/n was much cleaner than you.
a part of you feels like you’re invading someone’s privacy. but then you realize that it’s literally your own privacy that you’re invading, with the addition of niki. you actually can’t believe the absurdity of the situation.
at first glance the room looks pretty normal, an average teenagers room. not what you expected for yourself, but there’s not much you can see. you turn to niki,
“there’s no shot we’ll get caught right?”
he gives you another sympathetic look, “we’ll keep a look out for the police, but i heard your parents were busy with your other family and funeral preparations, so it wouldn’t be them catching us.”
“oh.”
the air feels so glum, you clear your throat to move on. “guess we should look around?”
he nods and begins to snoop around.
“wait,” you call out hesitantly.
niki cocks his head and you cough awkwardly.
“it’s still my room, so like, be careful with what you look through.”
he rolls his eyes. “yeah. i got it.”
you gaze at the photos on your shelf, displaying your happy family and friends. it just made you acknowledge how precious they were. it made you miss your friends and family at home even more.
you’re appalled at the books you read. you shake your head, seriously? you take out one of the books-
“ten days to love,” you voice aloud with disgust written across your face.
you weren’t one to judge, but what kind of cheesy romance novels were you reading?
niki opens your closet and you turn at the sound. your eyes widen-
wait a second,
your closet with clothes? possibly including…. more personal things?
you dash over in desperation, praying that niki hasn’t already seen something that he shouldn’t.
“don’t!”
his wide eyes meet your panicked ones, shocked at the sudden change of events. he doesn’t move until you push past him, blocking the door from his view.
“you didn’t see anything, right?” you stare at niki desperately and he furrows his eyebrows.
“no? am i not supposed-“
“no reason. just being cautious. we can, uh, open it together.”
you carefully examine your belongings inside before deeming it safe for niki’s eyes. you let out a sigh of relief.
he gives you a weird look and you shoot him an exaggerated smile.
“you can proceed!”
he mutters something under his breath as you continue your search on the other side of the room. it didn’t seem like there was anything of importance on the shelves. but, after careful examination, you see a glimpse of something. pushing past some folders, your face morphs into a stunned one.
you pull out…
a pink teddy bear with hearts? why would this be in your room?
and even more so, why was it hidden?
niki calls out your name and you turn around. your mouth drops open.
“a box of chocolates?“
he scoffs, “yeah. stuffed behind some clothes in your closet for some reason.”
“it’s not even the good brand,” you mutter.
niki laughs, “maybe you had secret admirers from school?” suddenly, you give him a suspicious glance.
“what makes you say that? you sure you weren’t one of them?”
he side eyes you, “trust me, you wouldn’t catch me within five feet of you at school.”
you walk over to shove his arm and he only laughs harder. you huff, suppressing a smile on your face as you turn away. but you keep niki’s comment in the back of your mind.
after a solid thirty minutes, you can feel your resolve waning. there was no sign indicating that you felt suicidal. at least, none that you found after the police probably scrounged through everything. some stuff was suspicious—
like the teddy bear and chocolates. and some lavish perfume and makeup in the drawers. that just wasn’t your style. but you supposed this world’s you was just different.
just because you weren’t particularly into those things didn’t mean another you couldn’t be.
“did i have a diary? what about my phone?”
niki frowns, “the police would’ve taken it. it’s their evidence now.”
you suddenly get an idea, and it’s probably wasn’t a good one.
“hey, niki?” you call out. he hums in response.
“what day and time is it, currently?”
“uh…” he checks his watch, “sunday. 8pm. why?”
“when does the police station close?”
dummy, most people would say--why would the police station be closed?
luck seemed to be on your side, because you knew especially well from complaints by locals, that your local police station did actually have a curfew. and you could only hope it was the same here.
niki scratches his head, “in ten minutes? why are-“
his mouth drops open, “no. no. no.” you shrug and he shakes his head adamantly, “y/n, there’s no way that we’re going to sneak in.”
you dust off your hands, “i’m all ears for any other ideas you have.”
you have him at that and he falls silent. after a couple moments, he speaks up albeit hesitantly. “well… i might have a way.“
you grin. “onwards, then.”
“wait, so how did you manage to get access again?”
he coughs, “my friend jungwon is the son of the police deputy chief… so i may have called in for a favor.”
“he managed to sneak in with his dad’s keys and get the files to my case?” you finish.
he nods.
“illegally?”
he nods again.
you tap your chin, “would we get arrested if we got caught?”
he shrugs, “probably.”
“good thing i’m not from this world.”
perhaps secretly hanging outside this jungwon’s house was not the best idea, either. he rolls his eyes before offering the file to you.
“do you want to open it?” to your surprise, his voice comes out quite comforting and soft.
you gulp, “i guess i should.”
you feel sick for the second time that day. luckily, the photo didn’t show too much. not that it made it any better. it was still you, dead.
you had to look at yourself and imagine yourself in that situation. you cover your mouth and niki immediately takes the file away from you. he watches worriedly as you shake your head.
“i’m fine. i-is there anything else your friend managed to get?”
“are you sure?”
“yes.” he doesn’t protest anymore at the tone of finality in your voice.
niki pulls out a bag with your name on it. taking a deep breath in, you open it. you shuffle through some things hurriedly until niki speaks up.
“hold on a sec,” he softly places a hand on your arm to stop your actions.
“we should be careful. someone could notice that we tampered with the evidence so we need to be very careful when putting things back. plus, we have to give it back to him as soon as possible—we don’t want them noticing that your stuff is missing.”
you curse, “that’s right. we can’t risk taking anything.”
“then what?”
you pinch your nose bridge, “we snap pictures and hope it’s good enough. unless we want to take another field trip here.”
you manage to snap a few pictures and go through a few things. you catch a glimpse of your diary and flip to the most recent page. it was about a week and a half ago, and-
it wasn’t finished. you skim through it, reading boring stuff about how your day was and how you met-
you squint.
the rest of the words were scratched out, harshly, with a black marker. seeing how it was getting late and dark, you can’t make out who’s name it was even with your phone flashlight. you wonder, could it be-
your thoughts are interrupted by niki.
“y/n, i think we need to hurry and head home soon. the longer we stay out, the greater risk we’re at for getting caught. oh, and i found your phone.”
he holds it up and the extremely glittery case makes your eyes hurt. you eye it. heaving a deep breath, you prepare yourself to open your phone.
but when you click the power button and nothing happens, you groan. you try again, and again, holding it down for seconds but the screen remains black.
“the phone’s dead.” you sigh again and niki bites his lip.
“maybe we should give up. we can ask jungwon another time,” he suggests
you nod wearily and he closes the box. as he gathers everything, opening his phone to text his friend to come back out, you glance at the time. it was quite late for a school day.
“that’s right, you have school tomorrow?”
he groans, “yeah. i guess you’ll just have to stay home in my room. no one will go in while i’m at school, so you don’t have to worry.”
you nod, “okay.”
it felt weird knowing you were supposed to be at home, in bed and preparing to go to school yourself the next day. instead, you were stuck in another world—in a stranger’s room, forced to hide since you were supposed to be dead.
were you considered missed at home? did anyone notice? call the cops?
more like, if anyone cared?
while you get ready for bed in niki’s bathroom, you stare at yourself in the mirror.
yes, you affirm, you’re alive.
you’re staring back at yourself, dressed in one of niki’s oversized shirts and basketball shorts.
but the image of your dead face flashes in your mind and you immediately squeeze your eyes shut. you breathe heavily, hands planted on the sides of the sink.
everything’s fine. you will get back home. things will figure themselves out. you’re okay. you’re breathing and-
a knock on the door makes you jump.
“y/n? everything okay?” niki’s voice sounds out hesitantly, “it seemed like you were taking a while so-“
the door swings open.
you stand there, face emotionless. he doesn’t say anything, and neither do you. niki tries to keep the image of you wearing his clothes out of his head, but it won’t seem to go away.
“goodnight, niki.”
you slowly walk over to the temporary bed he’s set up on the floor for you. he blinks,
“night, y/n.”
it’s surprisingly comfortable, or maybe you’re just so exhausted you don’t seem to care or question anything anymore.
you hear light footsteps padding to turn off the lights.
in the darkness, your eyes close. but your mind is awake.
you know his is too, judging by the sounds of quite shuffling every couple minutes or so.
“niki?” you say quietly.
another shuffle.
“yeah?”
“this may sound weird, but have you noticed anyone that looked particularly sad?”
there’s a pause.
“about you?”
“yeah, but not like the typical sadness. like, anyone who seems to have changed drastically after hearing about me? let’s say,” you swallow, “any guys or friends of yours who seemed particularly upset or affected?”
niki rolls to the other side of his bed so that he faces you, but in the darkness he can only see the outline of your figure. “y/n, what are you trying to say?”
you tug the covers over yourself a little tighter.
“nevermind, niki. have a good day at school tomorrow, and don’t worry about waking me up. you won’t be able to.”
“wasn’t planning on it,” he snorts.
you fall asleep with a faint smile still lingering on your face.
the next day at school, niki struggles. he struggles when it’s supposed to be another normal day, and all he can think about is you.
especially about what you said.
niki never paid much attention before to his surroundings, there was no reason to. but now he keeps an eye open.
he eyed anyone who passed by your locker, empty desk in class, anyone who mentioned your name. but the fact that you mentioned guys specifically, made him confused.
why did it matter if a guy was upset? a lot of people were shocked and sad at the news. niki shook his head. he didn’t get it.
meanwhile, you stayed at his home.
thinking.
thinking about yesterday. somehow everything that happened was all just yesterday. you took the train and ended up here. then you found out you were apparently dead.
you spent what felt like hours scrolling through the photos you took and waiting for niki to come home. all while eating snacks that niki left for you graciously.
you don’t even know what time it is when you hear the door begin to open. you scramble to your feet before realizing that there was a chance it wasn’t niki.
you go back to your hiding spot, shrinking underneath the covers. next thing you know, the bedroom door flings open. you tense.
however, a call of your name allows you to let out a sigh of relief. you hop up, “niki!”
he grins, looking rather cute in his ruffled school uniform, backpack slung off one shoulder. you stop yourself, horrified at your thought. at your face falling, he cocks his head. “what’s wrong?”
you laugh awkwardly, “nothing! nothing at all!”
he gives you an unconvinced look but doesn’t press further.
“you must’ve been bored without me.”
that was the niki you’ve come to know (in the span of a day or so). sarcasm drips from your lips as you laugh dryly, “sure.”
but you knew he was right and he knew it too.
“i spent the day looking through the pictures, but i couldn’t find much else,” you frown.
“same here. today was pretty normal, no one seemed any different than usual…”
“i mean, the mood has been somber ever since you,” he pauses, “left. but nothing out of the ordinary.”
you seemingly deflate, but niki perks up. “i talked to jungwon and he said he’s going to try and get your phone next time. we can only hope that someone charges it or that we can charge it ourselves.”
you nod, “that’s good.”
“but, don’t you have work to do? what about your family?”
you realized you didn’t see or even hear of them yesterday.
“oh, they usually stay late at the dance academy—me included. but my grades haven’t been good recently, so they’ve been forcing me to go to home and study…”
you tsk as niki gives you a sheepish look.
“you know, while we’re waiting, i’m not too bad at studying myself. what do you need help with?”
niki rolls his eyes, “thanks, but no thanks. i don’t need another person on my back about my grades.”
instead, he falls back onto his bed with an oof.
“don’t worry, i’ll manage. let’s just talk about our next step.
“step? as in, my case?
“yeah,“ his eyes glint, “i have an idea.”
you were starting to believe he was getting more invested in this than you were.
“okay—shoot.”
what was the worse thing he could suggest?
“we should sneak you into school-“
your eyes practically bulge as you gape at him. “excuse me? weren’t you the one saying i was going too far with sneaking into my own house and you want me to do what?”
niki gets up, placing his arms on your shoulders to calm you. strangely enough, it did.
“hear me out first—we sneak into school at night, bust open your locker, and see what you have. that’s better than waiting for jungwon.”
“don’t you think the police would have already looked through my locker?
“well, he looks around nervously, “as far as i’ve heard, the police were already mostly convinced the case was closed and didn’t care to check. but, what can i say? rumors are just rumors.”
you purse your lips. what did you have to lose? being in a different world made you much more reckless than you would have ever thought. but that didn’t mean you were going to be stupid about it.
“fine.”
niki winces at your tone, but you speak up,
“how in this stupid multiverse crap am i going to break into my own locker? and with cameras all around school?
he smirks and you raise an eyebrow.
“i didn’t miss a whole chem lecture for nothing—“
confused, you give him a look as if to say, what in the world are you talking about?
“who said we had to know the combination?” he takes out a pair of keys form his pocket.
you gasp in awe, clasping a hand over your mouth.
you gaze at him with wide eyes for a second, causing him to look at you questioningly.
“you’re actually being smart...”
his confused expression immediately changes to one of irritation.
you stand up straight again, “how did you even get those keys? and what about the cameras?”
he winks and you glance at him, trying to remain expressionless. if there was anything you noticed, it was that niki was actually quite attractive. it made you wonder if he was popular at school…
“it’s a secret. don’t worry about it.”
“you sure have a lot of secrets, niki. like, is niki even your real name?” you squint accusingly.
niki chokes on his spit, “how in the world did you know?”
you falter. “huh? it isn’t?”
he clears his throat, “anyway, i have to get up early for school tomorrow.”
you eye him but decide to let it go. niki shrugs, “usually i’m up playing games, but you look like you need the sleep with those eye bags. you aren’t surprised.
“tomorrow night,” he says shortly after. “i’ve got a plan—you just have to trust me.”
turns out said plan was dumb, but you really had no other choice.
niki made some lame excuse to his teachers about staying late to study- and his teachers, being utterly shocked that he offered to study, immediately agreed to let him linger.
meanwhile, niki would sneak you in, wearing one of his old uniforms that was too small for him so that just in case, no one would question anything. along with one of his totally inconspicuous baseball caps to hide your face and hair.
you sigh, you couldn't believe you were sneaking into school through the boys bathroom. you groan while maneuvering through the window. niki shushes you, causing you to stick your tongue out at him. he raises his hands playfully and you resist the urge to smack him.
on your way to jump down from the window, your left foot gets caught on the ledge. you stumble forward, expecting to be met with the revolting bathroom floor face first. instead, perhaps now was the time to thank the universe (in this case, his universe?) for niki’s quick reflexes.
he inhales, catching you by catching and pulling you towards him instead of the ground, essentially into his arms.
instead of faceplanting into the ground rather foolishly, you fall into his strangely soft and warm chest. you let out a barely discernible squeak, unable to respond due to the pounding of your heart.
after a couple of seconds—that felt like forever— niki lets you go with a shake of his head.
“my god y/n, i had no clue you were this clumsy. please don’t ever do that again.”
please don’t ever make me sneak into a nasty teenage bathroom again, you wish you could retort.
you shake your head quickly, lips pressed thinly together. don’t get distracted, you remind yourself. “yeah-thanks. let’s uh, just hurry.“
you don’t have time to wonder what would the consequences be if you got caught by cameras or anyone else while niki leads you down the familiar hallways.
“how do you know which one’s my locker? i thought you said we didn’t really know each other?“ you eye him suspiciously.
he scoffs, “don’t get too excited. mine’s just a couple lockers down so i was bound to see you at your locker by some point.”
he hands you the keys and you gratefully accept—your hands slightly trembling. you didn’t know what to expect.
niki watches from behind, and you can feel his warm breath on you occasionally, causing you to shiver.
with a slight click and creak of the rusty locker door, the locker opens. you hold your breath at first glance. it’s…. normal?
normal as in any average high schoolers locker one would expect. what catches your eye first are a couple of photos of you and your friends.
on deeper inspection of yourself (it was still weird to imagine and even weirder to see) you see a twinkling, intricate chain around your neck. maybe you were tripping (again, but mentally this time) or that necklace you had on seems really expensive?
“there’s no way,” you suddenly gasp and turn to niki with wide eyes.
“what?” niki starts to panic, “what is it?”
“am i actually loaded in this world?”
niki pinches the bridge of his nose as he shakes his head. “jesus, you scared me. i mean, you didn’t seem like it.. who knows where you got that super expensive, luxury brand necklace? it looks familiar…“
you try your hardest not to roll your eyes. of course, niki would know.
“how much are you talking?”
he taps his foot on the floor, “well, my mom and sister likes that brand. that specific necklace is specially made since it’s a seasonal limited edition, so it’s somewhere in the thousands-“
you truly forgot how rich niki’s family was, you think with a half joking tch and a shake of your head. niki glances at you, impressed.
“-whoever gave that to you must’ve really cared.”
you frown, “sure… or maybe i just really worked hard to get it for myself?”
he’s shoots you an amused look, “you wanted to get yourself the valentine day’s collection necklace?
“what?”
you feel your heart rate begin to pick up, “are you implying what i think you are?
“yes?” he responds with a raised eyebrow, “someone must’ve been really in love with you to gift you that. maybe your parents or friends?”
then niki pokes your side playfully, “-or a secret admirer?”
you don’t answer his question, regardless of if he was being serious or not. you peer into the locker again, “but where is it? it’s so valuable i’m certain we would’ve seen it in the police’s evidence…”
suddenly, niki grabs your wrist. that’s when you hear the footsteps. you turn to him with wide eyes as he mouths for you to hide. panicking, you look around in desperation before he pushes you—
straight into the locker.
your own locker.
you know you should be freaking out over getting caught, but you could only wonder—could this be considered a crime?
in the dark, stuffy locker, you see a glimpse of niki’s silhouette run past through the tiny openings of the door. just barely a second later, you hear more footsteps. squinting, you able to discern a familiar, yet weirdly unfamiliar guy. your eyebrows raise.
no way. park sunghoon was in this world too?
you hold your breath when you hear him call out, “is someone there?”
really, curse niki for shoving you in your own locker. yet it was also a smart move as no one could see into your locker, but you were able to see out.
“sorry. that was me, pres.”
it was niki’s voice.
you can barely see his relaxed demeanor appearing to face sunghoon.
“i was staying back to study and catch up on work—you know already,” he adds hastily.
sunghoon nods coolly, “i was just checking. making sure everything’s good before leaving.”
niki was a little too good at acting, you questioned how often he had done this to those around him. he fake salutes, “i promise to clean up after i’m done. no need to worry, class president.”
“alright, see you later.”
you have a sigh of relief as sunghoon turns to leave.
but you swear, for a split second, his expression changes as his eyes fall on your locker.
your heart rate picks up. did he notice you?
however, sunghoon leaves without a second look back.
you frown—what was that?
after waiting a minute to be safe, niki quickly lets you out. only to be greeted by your displeased face and crossed arms.
“that was the only thing i could think of in the moment!” he immediately defends himself.
“seriously? i could’ve-like-“ you trail off and niki smirks.
“see? nothing bad would’ve happened.”
“doesn’t change the fact you stuffed me in my locker. it’s not even mine, for crying out loud.”
“whatever. just be glad you didn’t get caught by park sunghoon, our school’s super rich, smart, and handsome-“
“i know him from my world. he’s irrelevant, let’s continue on.” you wave him off.
you can’t help but compare him to niki. niki was way more genuine and… boyish in a way? he felt real. you preferred that. not to mention he had a much more tolerable presence, you supposed.
everything else in the locker was useless. random crappy notes, perfumes and hand lotions, along with the pictures you already inspected were the only things that decorated your locker. no sign of that ridiculously expensive necklace.
you rub a hand over your face in exasperation. “that’s it…”
one thought still lingered in the back of your mind. where was the necklace?
“hey, y/n, i think we should get going soon. the lights are going to turn off soon-they’re automatic and we didn’t bring any flashlights.”
you sigh. next time.
it feels like you’ve hit a dead end. by the end of the week, niki has caught up on his studies. you were surprised to find that he was quite dedicated to school, even if it didn’t seem like it.
the days that niki came home with a pile of schoolwork and other duties, you went out to think—with one of niki’s hoodies and a mask on. but the times you spent with niki since you couldn’t go out much, mainly at night, were nice.
tutoring him at subjects he was struggling in, learning new dances together (and learning how talented he really was), simply being around him was enough to distract you from your impending crisis.
niki always came to keep you company and bring you food. you really were his eleven.
niki was gaming while you sat off to the side, watching him play. you admired his side profile, the shine from the bright computer screen enhancing his features, the furrow of his eyebrow as he focused.
he yells as his character dies and you can’t hold back your laughter, “you kinda suck-“
all of a sudden, you hear a knock on the door.
“bro, you good? i swear i heard another voice-“
the door handle begins to turn.
you and niki share a look of panic.
your first instinct is to dive and roll, underneath niki’s bed. you ignore the fact that it’s as dusty as you’d expect for a teenage boy’s room and hold your breath.
“mom said dinner is ready. also, what’s with all the noise? it sounded like someone else was in the room with you.” a girls voice—niki’s older sister, you presume.
“nope. just me.”
you cringe at the fact that niki’s voice is octaves higher. it wouldn’t be that much of a problem if his voice wasn’t as deep as it normally was.
“it was just probably the video i was playing.”
“…sure,” you hear his sister’s footsteps as she leaves and shuts the door behind her.
you let out an exhale of relief.
“y/n?” you hear soon after.
“under here.”
you turn to see niki’s head peeking down underneath the bed.
you meet his curious eyes. cute.
“jeez.” he holds a hand out and you gladly accept it, letting him pull you up with ease. huffing, you dust yourself off.
“jeez, indeed. who knows what horrors you’ve been hiding under there.”
“hey,” niki defends himself, “i’ll have you know i am a very clean person and don’t-“
“oh really? then what’s this?” you hold up the sacred item, jerking your hand back as he reaches out to snatch it.
“hey! haven’t you ever heard of privacy?”
he lunges again as you laugh, just keeping it out of his grasp. however, you feel the bed frame hit your legs, and you gasp.
you fall back, niki over you on his bed. he must’ve underestimated his arm-span and overestimated yours.
niki lands over you with a soft grunt, eyes wide. you peer up at him wordlessly. his arms catch him, but it’s still so close you can feel his hair tickle your forehead.
is this what the movies mean when your heart… skips a beat?
niki snaps out of his trance, “s-sorry,” he hastily gets up. you cough, trying to dispel the stuffy atmosphere.
“so, uh, i had an idea.”
“yeah? what’s up?”
“i was thinking we look at the evidence again. i just want to double check something.”
“come on,” you take niki’s hand. it was habitual by this point.
“you got the charger, right?”
niki nods, taking it out of his pocket.
it was risky asking niki’s friend to retrieve the evidence for you again, but you needed to confirm your suspicions. or, hit a dead end.
when niki returns, carefully holding a plastic bag (and dinner, your grumbling stomach reminds you), your eyes zero in on one thing.
“thanks. i know it must be hard for your friend to sneak behind his dad’s back like that.”
“it’s fine,” niki shrugs, “i promised to buy him lunch for the next week.”
you snort as you take out “your” phone and plug it into the charger.
“okay. now we wait.”
niki looks at you expectantly, and you only stare at him back. subconsciously, a hand raises to your face. “is there something wrong?”
he shakes his head while looking away sheepishly, “nothing, nothing.”
you open your mouth to question him further, but the phone screen flashes. you scramble to open it. thankfully you were able to use your own face id.
as soon as you scroll through your messages, your stomach sinks. you raise a hand to cover your mouth.
“what?” niki jumps up, “what did you find?”
you open the photos app, which only confirms everything. you drop the phone, and that’s when niki sees it.
“oh my god.”
“don’t even-“
“i was secretly dating park sunghoon?!”
you cup a hand over your mouth. “i think i’m gonna be sick.”
niki scoffs, taken aback. “b-but how? you- and him-?”
you rub a hand over your face. “don’t ask me. but the valentines gifts and necklace were so suspicious, i started wondering… i just didn’t expect it to be him.”
niki notices the sour expression on your face.
“oh. you don’t like him?”
you shake your head vehemently, “bro, not even if he and i were the last two people on earth.”
you think about your world’s sunghoon and almost shudder. he was selfish, arrogant, could but would never keep a girl for more than two weeks. yet the whole class still loved him and you never understood it, never understood the appeal of him.
besides getting bro-zoned, niki relished your words.
“good to know.”
“i wish i didn’t,” you sigh.
but that was besides the point. you still didn’t know how it all added up. did sunghoon—unfortunately, your boyfriend in this world—have anything to do with your death? did he really get you that expensive necklace?
and as much as you wanted to deny it, you couldn’t rule it out. thinking as rationally and fairly as possible, suicide was likely-as much as you didn’t believe it. you couldn’t rule it out simply based on a feeling. plus, his expression when he passed by your locker lingered in your mind.
“so, now what?” niki watches you carefully.
“you’ve heard of the saying, keep your friends close but your enemies closer, right?”
“yeah,” he cocks an eyebrow, “why?”
“well, i’ve got a task for you.”
niki has never spoken a word to your friend group in his entire life. the most he’s ever done was send a cold look their way and pretend not to know them out in public.
he had nothing against them—nothing against your choice of friends—but he preferred not to associate with your group. he couldn’t put his finger on it, but he just didn’t vibe with them.
and yet here he was, talking to your “friends” because you asked him to. he sighed, the things he did for you.
danielle looks him up and down with her arms crossed. “why are you asking about y/n? since when did you care about them?”
“please,” he sighs in exasperation, “i just need to know if anyone disliked y/n or was acting suspicious around them.”
haerin steps up, an annoyed frown on her face. “there’s no one. can’t you tell this is a touchy subject for us? now, leave us alone.”
she grabs danielle and walks off, angrily whispering into a distressed looking danielle’s ears.
niki wants to punch someone. besides the fact that surrounding people were catching onto his conversation and whispering about the interaction, he essentially got nothing out of it.
you were also at a dead end. after scrolling through hundreds of disgusting texts and photos of you and sunghoon, there was nothing remotely suspicious. plus, you had to give your phone back to jungwon soon before anyone noticed it was missing.
everything seemed normal. everything was normal. normal until this world’s you suddenly died.
the only lead you had was the missing necklace. and yet where were you supposed to find it? it could be anywhere—in the police’s hands, with sunghoon, most likely gone.
you couldn’t even go out on your own, you felt like a hopeless rapunzel trapped in her tower, desperately wishing for answers and freedom. it was starting to get to you. the stress, homesickness, and most of all, loneliness.
you throw your phone to the side and bury your face in your hands, trying your best to focus on your breathing. you almost don’t realize how long it’s been until you hear a faint call of your name.
“y/n? y/n, what’s wrong?” niki drops his backpack and rushes to your side.
his eyes carefully examine your body, checking for who knows what. you slowly lower your hands, revealing your bloodshot eyes and tear stained face.
what scared niki the most was the lost look in your eyes, a deep and dark pool void of any emotion.
“niki… i don’t think i can do this anymore,” your words float out carefully, like a whisper of the wind.
“i’m trying my hardest, but it’s so frustrating. i miss my home, i miss my life. i miss myself.” as soon as the words leave your mouth, you feel yourself break down. and right as you do so, niki reaches forward to wrap you in an embrace.
“i want to go home,” you whisper in an small voice.
his heart almost breaks at the sight. you sounded like a little kid—you looked like you were a little kid again, as small and curled up you were when he found you. in his eyes, he saw a lost child looking for their parents, their guidance and their own light in the world.
he resolves to never be the cause of your pain again.
niki holds you for the entire night as you cry and drift off to sleep.
you wake up with a headache and a dry throat. you feel hungover, although you’ve basically never drank alcohol before.
somehow, you’re not sure exactly when, you ended up in niki’s bed. as soon as you’re able to sit up, your eyes fall on the clock on the bedside table.
11 am. niki must be at school still, you note.
you wonder what he’s up to, if he was being a good student while you were stuck all alone at his home, skipping your own school. you wonder what life is like back at home. did time even pass?
niki heads home as soon as the bell rings. he wanted to see you, to comfort you and reassure you. he wanted you to be okay.
when he knocks on his own bedroom door and there’s no response, he frowns. all there’s left is a pink sticky note on his desk.
went out for fresh air. don’t worry and don’t look for me.
niki immediately drops his stuff and runs out. he goes to the train station, the bookstore. he even goes back to school, for crying out loud.
he’s breathless and exhausted by the time he’s arrived back home. niki knows his family won’t be back. it was competition season, which meant the busiest time of the year for the other dancers. you were the sole reason he attended school at this time of the year, studying hard instead of skipping and dancing 18 hours each day.
he’s scared.
niki hasn’t felt this feeling in a long time—he can only recall the time where he was six and went to disney world. his older sister was pressuring him into riding one of the larger roller coasters, and he felt that sickening nausea fill him as he looked up at the towering structure.
he almost gives up. he basically has, until he notices something strange. his balcony door is unlocked, and he always kept it locked for safety purposes.
tense, niki reaches out and slowly turns the handle. what greets him is certainly not what he expected.
you sit on the balcony railing, hanging over the edge quite precariously with your feet swinging. one slight mistake and you would fall.
you stare down at the passing cars, cloudy and dreary skies showing you it was soon to rain.
niki stares at you, and you turn around at the sound of the door to stare back, not a single word exchanged.
then you finally break the eye contact, glancing down at your stilled feet. “i wasn’t going to do it.”
he silently moves closer, hopping next to you on the railing as well. “okay.”
you don’t see the tender way his eyes travel over you. your voice is quiet as you speak up, “you don’t have to say anything.”
“okay,” niki repeats.
it’s not said in a sarcastic way. it’s not sad, either. it’s just..... soft. soft and understanding enough to make a blanket of comfort fall around you, to make it known that niki’s presence is here by your side.
suddenly, the rains starts and niki asks if you want to go down. you slowly nod and he helps you safely off the railing before opening the door for you guys go out in the rain.
the rain doesn’t stop.
and niki doesn’t stop either. he grabs your hand, dragging you along with him haphazardly.
“where are we going?” you ask breathlessly.
“out. like most people our age. we’re still kids.”
“wow, i had no idea,” you mutter sarcastically.
he holds back a smile of relief. good to know you were still your usual self.
“you need a break. you’ve been so caught up in this case, you need to rest.”
“but-“
“come on,” he leads you on, “relax. it’ll give you a clear mind, so we can come back with a fresh start.”
you’re hesitant until he pulls up at an arcade. “what if someone sees me? what if they-“
niki places a finger over your lips, silencing you. “we’re here to have fun like everyone else and not give a crap about anything else. now, are you gonna play or are you gonna get your butt kicked by me?”
a challenge was a challenge.
you laugh at niki’s rambunctious side, yelling as he tries to cheat during competitive games and fight over the better toy gun.
“just so you know, i technically won.”
you playfully shove him, “in your dreams. you’re just saying that because you don’t want to-“
you get cut off by the loudest (and most embarrassing) grumble of your stomach. you both look down at your stomach. you look back up, petrified.
niki almost cackles, “i guess that’s a sign.”
“it’s not my fault i fell asleep before eating yesterday,” you pout.
“what do you want to eat?”
“anything. i’m serious.”
niki watches with a fond smile as you quite literally inhale your food.
“eat any faster, and you’ll make a new record.”
you flip him off as he laughs, putting more food onto your plate from his. you can only watch wordlessly, feeling your heart warm. after you finish eating, niki takes your hand again. you glance at him questioningly.
“there’s one last thing i wanted to do,” he mumbles while avoiding your gaze.
“how’s this one?”
you scrunch your nose in distaste at the sight, reaching to place red devil horns on niki’s head.
“i think this one fits you more.”
as he grumbles, you laugh.
“fine, but i get to choose yours.”
he ends up picking a frog headband for you—which you complain to no avail. his reasoning was, “you remind me of a frog. like the princess and the frog.”
you splutter, “but that means-“
“yes. i’m the princess.”
“obviously,” he adds.
in the photo booth, you sit awkwardly. niki cocks an eyebrow.
“i’ve never done this before, so…"
instead of teasing you like you originally assumed, niki only brings you closer. he wraps an arm around you while posing for the camera. you’re frozen, even as the countdown starts. you can barely manage a smile as the camera flashes.
“what now?”
niki glances at the screen, “we still have three more pictures. what poses do you want to do?”
you’re at a loss for words.
niki leans closer again. he makes a half heart with his hand as he looks at you expectantly. “how about a heart pose?”
“o-okay.”
you never felt so suffocated in that photo booth. and yet, you’ve never laughed harder. you’ve never been so happy in your life with someone else.
“hey, this photo came out good!”
“but what happened to the first one?”
you both lean in to get a closer look at the photos that printed, and you end up feeling niki’s breath on your cheek.
it was warm. it was nice to have someone so close to you and still feel comfortable. it was nice to know you were close enough to someone to feel that way.
it was something you had never felt before.
“..-y/n?”
“huh?” you snap out of your trance.
“i said, you can keep this copy.”
you look at the pictures and then at niki. “what? no, it’s fine-“
“i said keep it,” he forcefully shoves the photo into your hand as he quickly heads over to the cashier to pay.
you stand there for a minute, looking at the photos. you guys looked happy. you guys looked good…together. like you were a real couple, or something. you internally chide yourself while taking off your headband. what a silly thought, you brush off.
on the walk back home, you feel utterly satisfied, humming as you match your pace with niki’s.
“when we arrive, i’ll let you in through the back, just to be safe.”
“whatever you say, mr. responsible.”
he ruffles your hair and you swat his hand away in annoyance.
that night was the first night you’ve felt content. almost like you could stay here—like you belonged. you stare up at the dark ceiling, reflecting on the days events.
“niki?”
you hear his bed shift. “yeah?”
“i just wanted to say thanks. for everything. you’ve been providing everything for me, all while helping me on my case. i’m grateful for everything. i don’t know how, but i promise to pay you back one day.”
“what’s with the sudden sappiness?” his tone is teasing, but light. he clears his throat to add, “but yeah, of course.”
“i dunno, i guess i’m just not used to this type of treatment back home.”
“what? what do you mean?”
even in the dark, you can feel inquisitive stare on you.
“i mean, i’m usually left on my own since my parents are working. and my friends, well, they’re nice and all…”
“but you don’t feel a true connection?” he finishes, and you roll over.
“yeah. i don’t really know what my friends are like in this world. who even are my friends? do i even have any?”
niki grimaces.
“uh, yeah. i don’t know if they exist in your world, but have you heard of danielle? and haerin?”
“nope. what are they like?”
he shifts again, and the bed creaks. “you see, i don’t really talk to your friend group. it’s nothing personal, i just don’t want to associate with them.”
“dang, maybe it really is just a me problem, in every life too.”
you hadn’t thought about hanni and hyein since you got here. but danielle and haerin were two new leads. a new start, perhaps.
now that you had more information from niki, you started your research again. specifically, insta-stalking.
your specialty.
niki hands you his phone with a suspicious look when you casually ask for it. you pray he doesn’t hear the sound of blood rushing in your ears or the pounding of your heart.
as he goes to do his night time routine, you quickly tap on the instagram app and search up danielle’s name. it doesn’t take long for you to find her account since niki followed her. checking to make sure he didn’t come out of the bathroom, you scroll through her feed.
and your heart stops when you see it. in the corner of a photo—a picture of her and haerin posing at school in front of their lockers.
that’s your ridiculously expensive bracelet on danielle’s arm. you’re sure of it.
you felt yourself grow nauseous as you quickly turn off niki’s phone as soon as you hear the door turn.
“hey, are you okay? you look like you just saw a ghost..”
you blink and smile, peeking at him innocently, although the dread grows in the pit of your stomach. “huh? no. what are you talking about?”
“what were you doing on my phone?”
you look away sheepishly, “trying to see if i could call my mom?” maybe niki’s acting skills were rubbing off on you.
“oh, and?”
you shake your head, a fake grim expression plastered on your face.
that night, you lay awake staring into the darkness. when you hear niki’s soft snores, you sneak over to his bedside table to retrieve the key. you know you shouldn’t, but you felt this was something you needed to do alone.
you feel like you’re on the edge of the cliff, about to jump into the water. the adrenaline filled you, you were right there-
it was so close.
the next day, you have to pretend everything is okay. you smile when niki greets you good morning, even peck him on the cheek when he tells you he has to stop by the dance studio for the night.
he visibly blushes, stuttering on his words, “w-uh, w-what was that.. for..?”
you shrug, “i’m just proud of you for getting your grades up. it’s your first time back dancing in a while so have fun, okay?”
he nods, beaming as he squeezes your hand goodbye. as he leaves, your smile fades. it felt too normal. it felt too right to imagine having a life with niki, like this everyday.
and knowing what you knew now, it was wrong. it was wrong from the start, and yet you couldn't help yourself fall even deeper. you had to get back into the right mental state. you couldn't keep deluding yourself.
it was time to confront the truth.
you can’t believe you’re sneaking into through the school boy’s bathroom again. the locker key safely stored in your pocket, you find danielle’s locker. the same one from the photo she posted.
this had to be the one. you can only hold your breath and hope as you unlock it.
you quickly scramble through all the stuff, looking for the shiny bracelet. you don’t find it, but when you go to close the locker door in defeat, a crumpled up piece of paper falls onto the floor.
you huff, taking it and opening it up. it’s a picture of sunghoon, you, and danielle, all smiling as you three posed for the camera. but it wasn’t just an ordinary picture—there was a big, red “X” scribbled over your face, with the words “finally done” written next to it.
and hearts next to sunghoon’s face.
horrified, you clap a hand over your mouth.
during a break at the dance studio, niki doesn’t expect to open his instagram app and see danielle’s instagram show up on his recently searched. frowning, he taps on the account. he never cared to pay attention to danielle, so why was her account the last thing searched up?
just out of curiosity, he scrolls through her recent posts.
and then he sees it. something that is so hard to miss. it’s so strikingly familiar.
he rushes home. when niki bursts through the front door, he doesn’t expect to find you missing. and when niki notices his old school uniform and cap gone, his heart drops.
you sit on the floor next to the lockers with your head buried on top of your knees. you’re sure you could get caught, but you don’t care.
the crumpled picture feels heavy in your pocket.
you stay there, staring at the walls until you see the moon shining brightly outside one of the windows. you haven’t eaten or drank anything the whole day. you’re not sure how long it’s been.
“y/n!”
great, now you were hearing things as well?
furious footsteps stomp towards you.
“why did you leave without telling me? you could’ve gotten caught-it could’ve been dangerous?!”
“n-niki?” your eyes widen.
before saying anything else, he pulls you up to your feet.
“why would you come to school without me?”
for some reason, his words sting. you cross your arms, “what? like i can’t take care of myself?”
he groans, “that’s besides the point! if someone saw you—“
“i don’t care! so why do you care so—“
a sound from down the hall cuts you both off. you turn to niki in panic and he curses. “the custodian comes on weekends to clean.”
you hold back a yelp as niki grabs your wrist and pulls you along in the opposite direction.
he pushes through a door and turns to the left. you don’t stop until you’re inside the.. natatorium?
“why are we-“
“there are no cameras here, unlike in the school building. i thought you would’ve known that.”
after he speaks, there’s an awkward silence.
niki sighs, pinching the bridge of his nose. “well, are you gonna tell me?”
you feel the frustration flow through your veins, “and what about you? you tell me why i have to let you know my every location? why i feel like i can’t take care of myself, l-like a sick, old dog who can’t go anywhere or do anything? i’m sick of it all!”
“you don’t understand,” his voice raises, and you interrupt him, getting closer and closer to him.
“you’re right, i don’t. i don’t understand why you helped me in the first place. you say that you barely knew who i was, yet here you are acting like you care! like you cared about the dead me!”
at this point, his face is so close to yours, you can feel your breaths mix as neither of you back down.
“i do care! of course i care! about you, standing right in front of me!” he clenches his fists. your eyes linger on a single vein on his neck that sticks out due to the intensity. the fire burning in his eyes, your trembling voices, it all makes you falter.
you don’t know what you asked. you know the truth. niki always cared—more than cared. he always went out of his way to search for you, like the day on the balcony and today. he wanted to find you, he wanted to have you in his life,
you realize it now. to put simply, he wanted you.
and this was the first time you felt wanted.
you don’t know what else to do, so you lean in and close the gap to kiss him. and if anything, niki immediately pulls you closer to him.
when you break apart for air, his dark eyes still staring deep into yours, you think he’s gonna lean back in again. but you hear a faint voice sound, growing louder. your eyes both widen. the janitor.
without a second thought, niki pushes you.
he does it lightly, although it’s still enough to make you lose your balance, and for a second you stare back at him, betrayal evident before you fall backwards—
straight into the pool.
your eyes just barely peek open in the water, and then there’s a splash accompanying yours a few seconds later.
he easily swims to you, cupping your cheeks and bringing your lips to his once more. it was a much different experience from just a few seconds ago.
you stay entwined like that together, eyes squeezed shut, until you actually can’t breathe anymore and you have to smack niki’s arm. you both rise to the top, heaving water and air.
after a few seconds of coughing and gathering your bearings, niki’s raspy voice fills the air.
“at least he’s gone. i’ve always wanted to do that.”
you roll your eyes, splashing water back at him in revenge for pushing you earlier. “seriously? after we got almost got caught? we could’ve drowned!”
you splash him again, “also, you could’ve given me a heads up!”
he grins, wiping the running water free from his face. “and where’s the fun in that?”
you shake your head in amazement, “you’re actually an idiot. i can’t believe you, niki.”
“an idiot who saved us from getting caught.”
after returning home together, you sit and enjoy the peaceful silence as niki dries your hair. your mind can’t help but replay the last few moments, from finding the picture at school to kissing niki, and then finally get pushed into the pool. specifically, the kissing part.
growing sleepy at the soft and warm feeling of niki’s hands running through your hair, you almost don’t hear him when he says, “all done.”
you thank him and he looks around awkwardly.
“what is it?” you squint at him.
“well, i wanted to apologize. i didn’t mean to make to feel that way. i was just really worried about you, and i felt hurt you didn’t tell me why you snuck into school again today. did you not trust me? did i do something wrong?”
you soften, eyes falling to the floor.
“i’m so sorry, niki. i didn’t mean to lash out on you. of course i trust you, i just wanted to do something for myself for once. without needing your or anyone else’s help.”
you exhale, “the reason i left today was for this—“ you take the damp, crumpled picture and unfold it as best as you can.
niki’s hands fall to his side. “oh god.”
“it was danielle. she took my bracelet and i-i think she wanted my boyfriend. i know it has to be her.”
“w-what? but how?”
you shake your head. he goes to hug you.
you feel tears brimming at the corner of your eyes, but you won’t waste any tears on her. you pull back to look at niki, with a determined expression on your face.
“you have to catch her and make sure they get what they deserve.”
niki stares at you deeply, “are you sure? because if you are, i won’t stop.”
he wonders why you say you and not we.
at that, you falter.
“no. i never be sure because she is—was my best friend and i will always hold that guilt in me. but you have to do something about it.”
niki’s hold around you tightens, “and what about you?”
you smile, albeit sadly. “you know i can’t stay here, hiding away forever. i don’t belong here. i already existed in your world, and at some point, i have to leave soon. i can feel it.”
it was the same feeling as when you first came here. that day you felt off. the feeling that you don’t belong anywhere, but this time, you feel fulfilled. complete. like you were ready to go back home.
“it’s not something i can explain, but i know it,” you look at him with determined eyes.
and he looks back at you with pained ones.
niki is able to convince jungwon to get his dad to reinvestigate the case again. the picture is given up as evidence, and danielle and haerin are taken in.
the day they confessed out of guilt, you and niki celebrate by sneaking onto your school’s rooftop. the same place where it all started.
it’s a cold and windy night, but you could care less about getting sick. because it was your last day anyway.
you didn’t tell niki, but you had a good feeling—like the world was patting you on the back and saying, “you worked hard.”
the two of you watch the stars, snuggled up and reflecting on how your lives came to be like this. wondering how far away apart your worlds were.
you kiss niki’s cheek, wishing to remember the feeling of being in his arms forever. his scent, his touch, his warmth, you wish you could keep all of it. you smile at him, willing back the tears.
“there was a reason i bumped into you that day, of all people. there was a reason you came into my life, and i came into yours, niki.”
he bites his lip, “y/n... you changed my life. every day with you was better than the last.”
if this was a dream, you wouldn’t want to wake up. you trace his face, so it will remain ingrained in your mind forever, even when you go back to your world.
“what will happen when i leave?” you whisper.
“how will you even get back home?”
you shrug, “i don’t know how, but i know that i will.”
niki laughs, “that’s the y/n i know.”
as he kisses you once more, a star falls across the sky.
the next day, you find a ticket in your bag. a train ticket.
you don’t recall having bought one, and you don’t question niki. you only ask him to take you to the train station.
while walking hand and hand, you reminisce on the past month or so. “will we still remember this once you go back to your world?”
your body trembles, “i don’t know.”
“then… will i ever see you again?”
you don’t want to meet his eyes, because you know you’ll cry.
yes, you want to say. instead, you say, “ i don’t know.”
niki wipes a stray tear on your face. you don’t even know how you reached your stop already.
“this is it,” he says.
but neither of you move.
“don’t worry, even if i don’t remember you, you’ll always be in my heart. we’ll meet in your world,” he reminds you while the tears start falling down both of your faces.
“don’t forget that there’s another me out there to annoy you. you just need to search hard.”
you sniffle, playfully pushing him away as you furiously blink away the tears that blur your vision. you needed to soak up the sight of him as much of him as you could.
“i promise i’ll find you again.”
he holds onto you until the very end, until you slip out of his grasp once more.
crossing the platform into the train while giving him one last, slow wave was painful. the last thing you can think of is the fact that you never knew. you never asked for niki’s full name. his real one.
you never knew niki’s name.
and then everything fades into nothing.
that’s the last time niki ever sees you. the train passes by in a flash, blowing his bangs across his face while he tries his best to keep that fake smile on his face for you—all for you before you go.
then, you’re gone.
in those seconds as the train passes, niki knows exactly why he did it. why he helped you through all of it, through everything together.
all because you were there in class. you never looked at him, but he looked at you. he saw all of you, everyday—even if you didn’t know it. all your quirks and habits that he couldn’t help but find cute. you made his days interesting.
but he was the coward for never approaching you. that was his fault because one day, you weren’t there anymore.
and he had to pretend like nothing happened. on the outside, that’s how it was. even if he felt the slightest connection, tiniest pull towards you, you were still strangers.
you were strangers until you knocked into him on the train platform.
niki had to be selfish. he thinks it could have been fate that he saw you again, but now he’s just left with the lingering regret and feelings. those memories flash past like the train does. they come and go in the blink of an eye- a split second.
when the train is gone, niki frowns and wonders why he’s standing there.
he also wonders why it feels like there’s a piece of his heart missing.
after that, he attends your funeral in his world. it was an open funeral to everyone who wanted to come- classmates, friends, and him. niki didn’t even know you that well, but he get this unexpalaniable urge that he should go- he needs to go. he brings flowers and gets to see you one last time.
when niki sees the picture of your serene face, he can’t help but get this sense of peace, like everything’s resolved.
and then he’s free.
epilogue...
you sigh, trudging along the walkway on the way to work. looking at your surroundings, you were getting major deja vu. but at this point, you were used to having episodes like that.
there were many, many times where some things simply felt so familiar. but it was like your memory was wiped and you couldn’t remember why. some times you had flashes of an adventure, a feeling of mystery, a boy.
ever since some day in high school, it just happened. and from then on, you’ve always felt like something was missing. or wrong. you can’t tell. it became a part of you, to the point where you almost forgot about it. that feeling of misbelonging, being just out of reach. it’s strange, like a weird occurrence that makes you want to open your third eye or whatever to find out more.
even after graduating, it never left you.
you being so lost in your thoughts, fail to notice when you bump into someone coming off the train you were about to get onto.
“i’m sorry,” you quickly apologize, but you soon falter when you meet eyes with sparkling brown ones. weirdly enough, they draw you in.
they were familiar, you’ve certainly seen them somewhere. the moment lasts for a while, with the two of you standing still in the middle of the passway, staring at each other.
you slowly smile, extending a hand. “i apologize if i’m mistaken, but have we met before?”
he stares at you too, confused yet enthralled.
“i-i think you may be mistaken,” he starts hesitantly and you begin to apologize.
“are you sure?“ you quickly introduce yourself, “and you?”
you swore you were not such a desperate person, but you couldn’t help it, not this time and definitely not in front of this particularly alluring guy.
“me?”
he takes a quick glance at you before taking your hand with a small smile.
“my name is nishimura riki.”
first i wanted to say thank you for reading! this was a rough time coming, and i wanted to apologize for the long wait. this has actually been a wip of mine for years and i finally was able to finish it with riki after months and months of writing. this past year has been the worst one so far, but i'm just grateful to still be here. just feeling super appreciative for those who stuck with me and waited patiently. thank you. can't wait to see you guys again soon with the next oneshot (hint hint)!
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