Honestly. He's Better Than A Tory.

Y'know, whenever people want to talk about why aspec people 'count' as an oppressed identity, they tend to go for the big stuff like corrective rape and conversion therapy. And like, we should absolutely talk about that stuff. Obviously those things are terrible and important and we need to raise awareness and deal with them.

But I feel like people often gloss over how… quietly traumatising it is to grow up being told that there is only one way to be happy— and that everybody who doesn't conform to that norm is secretly miserable and just doesn't know it— and then to gradually realise that, for reasons that you cannot help, that is never going to happen for you.

You're not going to find a prince/princess and ride off into the sunset. Or if you do, then it's not going to look exactly the way it does in fairytales. You're not going to get a 'normal' relationship, because you are not 'normal', and everybody and everything around you keeps telling you that that's bad.

You see films where characters are presented as being financially stable, genuinely passionate about their work and surrounded by friends and family, but then spend the rest of the plot realising that the real thing they needed was a (romantic and sexual) partner, to make them 'complete'.

You absorb the idea that any relationships you have with allo people will ultimately be unfulfilling on their side, and that this will be your fault (even if you discussed things with your partner beforehand and they decided that they were a-okay with having those sorts of boundaries in a relationship) unless you deliberately force yourself into situations that you aren't comfortable with, so as to make uo for your 'defects'.

You grow up feeling lowkey gaslighted because all the adults in your life (even in LGBT+ spaces. In fact especially in LGBT+ spaces) are insisting that it's totally normal to not be attracted to anybody at your age, and then you go to school and everybody keeps pressuring you to name somebody you're attracted to because they can't imagine not being attracted to anybody at your age.

And then you get older and realise that one day you're going to be expected to leave home, and that one day all your friends are going to be expected to put aside other relationships and 'settle down' with a primary partner and you don't know what you're going to do after that because you straight up don't have a roadmap for what a 'happy ending' looks like for someone like you.

(And the LGBT+ community is little help, because so many people in there are more than happy to tell you that you're not oppressed at all. That you're like this because you don't want to have sex, and/or you don't want to have any relationships, that your orientation is some sort of choice you made— like not eating bananas— rather than an intrinsic part of you that a lot of us have at some point tried to wish away.)

Even if you're grey or demi, and do experience those feelings, you still have to deal with the fact that you're not experiencing them the 'normal' way and that that's going to effect your relationships and your ability to find one in the first place.

If you're aiming for lifelong singlehood (which is valid af) or looking for a qpp, then you're going to have to spend the rest of your life either letting people make wrong assumptions about your situation (at best that your relationship is of a different nature than it actually is, at worst that the life you've chosen is really just a consolation prize because you 'failed' at finding a romantic/sexual partner) or pulling out a powerpoint and several webpages every time you want to explain it.

This what being aspec looks like for most people, and it is constantly minimised as being unimportant and not worth fighting against— even in aspec spaces— because we've all on some level absorbed the idea that oppression is only worth fighting against if it's big, and dramatic, and immediately obvious. That all the little incidents of suffering that we experience on a daily basis are not enough to be worth bothering about.

I mean, who gives a shit if you feel broken, inherently toxic as a partner, and like you're going to be denied happiness because of your orientation? Shouldn't we all just shut up and thank our lucky stars we don't have to deal with all the stuff some of the other letters in the acronym have to put up with (leaving aside the fact that there are many aspec people who identify with more than one letter)?

So you know what? If you're aspec and you relate to anything I've said above (or can think of other things relating your your aspec-ness that I haven't mentioned) then this is me telling you now that it's enough. Even if we got rid of all the big stuff (which we're unlikely to do any time soon because— Shock! Horror!— the big stuff is actually connected to all the small stuff) we would still be unable to consider our fight 'over' because what you are experiencing is not 'basically okay' and something we should just be expected to 'put up with'.

No matter what anybody tells you, we have the right to demand more from life than this.

One day, you'll be singing your favourite songs at the top your lungs as you swing around your house to its beat. One day you'll look back at the battle you are fighting today and think about how you overcame them all. One day you'll be at peace with yourself. Please hang on until you see that day.

Baptism of Fire book sketches for now but it’s mostly Regis again sorry not sorry

(Photos captioned. I read the books in Chinese so whenever I quote from the books it’s gonna be my translation to English from the Chinese version so they’re gonna be weird and different probably)

Join me in voting tactically to Stop The Tories, and together we'll make sure our votes are actually earned next time. Smart voters have political power. https://stopthetories.vote/

StopTheTories.Vote

StopTheTories.Vote

Your vote is your power. Find out how to use it tactically to Stop The Tories and influence the next government.

GUYS THIS IS A REALLY HELPFUL TOOL IF YOU LIVE IN THE UK!!!

Use your vote tactically in this coming election on July 4th so that you can vote for who you actually want to in the next one.

Please please register to vote and go to your local polling station (or by post/proxy) in this election. It's really important especially for trans/ queer/ disabled people/ any marginalised community really. We stand to lose even more rights and the slim protections than we do have if the Tories or even worse, Reform, gain power.

Please share this to any friends or family who are also eligible to vote and are unsure of who is the best vote in your constituency!

Let's get the Tories out!

I was walking through the toy aisle at Target when I found this thing and had a VIOLENT AND IMMEDIATE FLASHBACK to when JP first came out and they had a bunch of REALLY COOL T Rex toys that I would have sold one of my scrawny small-child limbs for but my mother wouldn’t get me one because they were “too violent and also ate people” :(

"nothing is real atoms never touch each other youve never touched anything in your life" ok. well when i pet my dog he is soft and when he licks my hand it is wet and that is far more real to me than whatevers going on at an atomic level

If my mates aren't down to do this at the drop of a hat, no questions asked, what are we even friends for?

I am utterly captivated by this video series that Taryn Delanie and friends have been making on TikTok

You will never be able to convince me otherwise and I can't prove it but drunk Dean Winchester absolutely listens to early 2010's White Girl Music and Sam and Cas are just, like, forced to witness it and his denial about it the day after

I know most people don't care about anything unless it has to do with the U.S. but can we please start talking about the Canadian election.

Please don't vote for Poilievre. He's basically the Canadian Trump and plans to put in place laws that harm trans youth, and lots of other shit.

Please vote istg this is the only way anything will get better. Poilievre has been kissing millionaires and billionaires asses. He'll make life even harder, and he loves Trump.

Reblogs are appreciated, especially if you aren't Canadian.

You know, sometimes it really hurts that I'll never be 17 again walking back from the bus along the quayside with the winter dusk and cold sea breeze, listening to boywithuke for the first time.

That I'll never ride the bus back from college to my little town and sit with my legs over the stone wall watching the pair of swans floating by the boats, waiting for my dad to come pick me up.

Anyone under 20, and over to be honest, please cherish those peaceful little moments. I wish I had, it's something I'm trying to do more.