Just Finished The Raven King......I Need To Call My Therapist Now ✨

The thing about me is that I desperately want to be Andrew Minyard ( cool and collected , a little dangerous and kinda mysterious, no one really knows what his deal is ) but I'm really Neil Josten ( wet little meow meow, a little paranoid, a little clueless about social interaction, makes a deer in the headlights face when someone says something nice to me , immediately giving out all my secrets for the sake of drama and chaos ) and I have to accept that

saw someone say that Jean’s number 29 for the Trojans is Kevin’s number and Renee’s number put together and I have not been the same since

my love for you is stronger than my hatred for myself.

currently reading Dark Heir and gosh I love James the tension is insane.. probably not prepared for the rest of this book

just finished empire of the damned

i am not okay

dear mister kristoff, why must you hurt me like this

11/10 i need the next book NOW

when i was in primary school, i'd play "library" with the books i had at home

now i'm a senior in high school helping out in the school library during my lunch periods

the destiny has been fulfilled and i'm having a blast

How 90% of my stories came to be

Mood

Fictional man obsession of this month:

✨️Lestat de Lioncourt✨️

(1994 movie version, currently reading the vampire chronicles as well)

Every day I start kinning this man more

Thinking about how badly Andrew must’ve wanted to be known. For someone to actually notice things about him and be curious and piece all these observations together. Like. The truth game was just as much about wanting to know things about Neil as him wanting Neil to know him. And even without the truth game being evoked, when he knows what answers Neil must be digging for, he gives in more often than not. I think about how when Neil started noticing Andrew’s odd memory, especially when Neil believed him not to be paying attention and when Neil started finally asking questions, and how quickly Andrew answered them, how he must’ve been thinking, finally.

How much he wanted to be known and by someone he knew by now he could trust. Someone he knew could understand him and the implications of things he’s told. Someone he could tell his own secrets and things he’s been keeping to himself. Everything he let other people assume or misunderstand about him. This little nobody runaway is paying attention, piecing it together, understanding in a way that no one has ever been willing to do, not even his own twin. And when Aaron and Nicky asks him when this happened or other variations of the questions Neil’s already solved himself, and Andrew tells them they should’ve figured them out himself.

The way Neil was the first person to take him at his word, especially about something that wasn’t violence. To look further into him and the things he says and does and actually try to understand him. Not just write him off as a violent psychopath who does things for his own pleasure. The way Andrew wanted him to see more of him and understand him. And I just. My mind is tangles. But I want to go on about this forever.

getting straight a's in any writing based subject but not being able to subtract functions for the love of god is so infuriating