It's My Birthday And My Dad Surprised Me With A GORGEOUS Book Nook That He Spent 20 Hours Building In

it appears i've lost access to my old account @lonelychickennugget or something like that so uh this is my new account i guess

rip 2020 me

The thing about me is that I desperately want to be Andrew Minyard ( cool and collected , a little dangerous and kinda mysterious, no one really knows what his deal is ) but I'm really Neil Josten ( wet little meow meow, a little paranoid, a little clueless about social interaction, makes a deer in the headlights face when someone says something nice to me , immediately giving out all my secrets for the sake of drama and chaos ) and I have to accept that

Every day I start kinning this man more

Thinking about how badly Andrew must’ve wanted to be known. For someone to actually notice things about him and be curious and piece all these observations together. Like. The truth game was just as much about wanting to know things about Neil as him wanting Neil to know him. And even without the truth game being evoked, when he knows what answers Neil must be digging for, he gives in more often than not. I think about how when Neil started noticing Andrew’s odd memory, especially when Neil believed him not to be paying attention and when Neil started finally asking questions, and how quickly Andrew answered them, how he must’ve been thinking, finally.

How much he wanted to be known and by someone he knew by now he could trust. Someone he knew could understand him and the implications of things he’s told. Someone he could tell his own secrets and things he’s been keeping to himself. Everything he let other people assume or misunderstand about him. This little nobody runaway is paying attention, piecing it together, understanding in a way that no one has ever been willing to do, not even his own twin. And when Aaron and Nicky asks him when this happened or other variations of the questions Neil’s already solved himself, and Andrew tells them they should’ve figured them out himself.

The way Neil was the first person to take him at his word, especially about something that wasn’t violence. To look further into him and the things he says and does and actually try to understand him. Not just write him off as a violent psychopath who does things for his own pleasure. The way Andrew wanted him to see more of him and understand him. And I just. My mind is tangles. But I want to go on about this forever.

" you should be at the club " I should be at cabeswater searching for glendower

Wait I’m a writer

story of my life

"are you okay?" no I got way too attached to a fictional character and now they're dead

This fucking sucks I’m going to [ remembers suicide jokes are bad for your mental health ] find glendower

I'm so excited for the graphic novel!!

me on august 5th 2025

Thinking about Jean makes me want to cry but his dialogue never fails to make me laugh

terms that jean uses for neil in the sunshine court:

tiny bastard

tedious malcontent

abominable cockroach

wayward child

rabid little Fox

wretched little runaway

ignorant child

miserable wretch