The Four Millennial Horsemen Of Things Not Yet Identified:

The Four Millennial Horsemen of Things Not Yet Identified:

- a Jigglypuff as seen from above

- loss

- not lupus

- Rick Astley's Never Gonna Give You Up

More Posts from Heinous-eli and Others

2 years ago

[ toxic positivity, allusions to CSA/religious abuse ]

Inspirational speaker at work event, singing a song called It's a Gift: "All the people, in the prisons and cathedrals, we're all the saaaame."

My brain, immediately: "Definitely not the same. One place is full of thieves and abusers, and the other is a prison."

2 years ago

I hear there's a show called "24 Legacy". Soooo, is it not rewatchable?


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2 months ago

I have a theory.

The Right thinks that DEI/affirmative action/etc. elevates mediocrity because of the dismal quality of their own tokens.

Look no further than the fashion designers, musicians, filmmakers, actors, drag performers, and other, ahem, "creative" types who went MAGA for proof, especially the queer and/or non-white among them. They're tiny-ass, undistinguished fish in ponds so small and undisturbed by talent that they're not even qualified to be tempests in teacups.


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2 years ago

"Short Skirt, Long Jacket" by CAKE was the prototype for the new breed of fauxminist d00d who claims he is supportive of his partner's career success, but really just wants to rely on her for all of his needs, including financial. In this essay I will


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8 months ago

I am currently reviewing and auditing digital records related to Internet governance. Many are legal documents that underwent endless cycles of revisions and approvals. The oldest among them are over 25 years old.

Much of what used to baffle me about Microsoft Word suddenly makes so. much. sense.

2 years ago

I remain forever unconvinced that normality is normal.

2 years ago

Inside of my house (and heart) are two cats.

One of them prefers for you to pet him without paying too much attention to him. He will run away if you focus on him with anything resembling intent.

The other will give you a firm skippity-bap with her giant paws if you don't pay attention to her as you pet her.

It's OK to confuse the first for the second. Woe betide anyone who dares to absentmindedly treat her as though she were him.

2 years ago

I sway, in place,

I Sway, In Place,

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2 years ago

As a kid, you know what I thought "mythology" meant? Religion not directly based on the Bible.

And I was a Muslim?!?!?!


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2 years ago
upper left: a white balding man wearing a light-green long-sleeve button-down shirt with the collar open and blue jeans belted with a brown belt with gold buckle looking straight at the camera with a mildly surprised expression and his hands in his pocket
bottom right: the same man with his hands on his hips, looking very annoyed
middle text: My pronouns are he/him/HERS because she took EVERYTHING in the divorce

See also: "My pronouns are she, but not her…. I’ll never be her…"


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heinous-eli - Heinous Eli
Heinous Eli

recycling ~20 years' worth of jokes I've made on the Internet

73 posts

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