Unexpected Kenman Posting ⁉️⁉️⁉️

guys i actually love canon leslie/kyle so much I MEAN YES kyman is my only otp with kyle, but out of all his other love interests i think leslie is the most interesting one

MAYBE i’m a bit biased cuz i love leslie a lot, but, well… i just like how kyle literally ignores any common sense and goes against his bff cuz of leslie? like, i need a whole ass au where leslie doesn’t get killed and kyle is “dating” her, being torn apart by how he likes her and how he feels like she’s trying to hide who she really is AND AND AND…

idk it’s just kinda interesting to see kyle forgetting about his brutal logic and going against his friends because of love. i think it’s a pretty interesting side of kyle and we don’t get to see it much… (though we see some glimpses of it when he’s around cartman)

Choose and give me your reasons why.

there’s something i’d like to share, and it’s this headcanon.

like. i have a whole kyman & weidi au about post-s21 heidi who’s trying to recover from her relationship with cartman and become the same kind, innocent and happy girl she was before. some of her friends (mostly wendy who hated heidi’s guts while her “cartman’s gf” arc but is actually quite caring and helpful for heidi seeing how she’s really willing to change) told her that in order to finally move on she has to apologise to kyle. she was feeling really guilty ‘cause of her behaviour… you know, telling kyle that antisemitic shit cartman has taught her and dumping him in s21e7. she never apologised to him properly and now she wanted to make a change.

so the au basically starts long time after heiman’s final breakup, when heidi finally has some strength to actually come up to kyle and apologise to him:

heidi: Hey, Kyle?

kyle, raising an eyebrow in surprise: Oh… Heidi?… I, um, didn’t expect to see you.

heidi: That’s… understandable. Listen, I just wanted to talk to you about something important. You’re not busy, are you?

kyle, looking back at kenny: No, no. Kenny, don’t you mind going to the class by yourself? I’ll talk to you later.

kenny, grinning and winking mockingly: (Sure, guys, take your time!)

kyle: …So, um, what did you want to discuss? Is it something about school?

heidi: No, no, it’s not. I, uh, I wanted to apologise to you. For how I acted before. You know, you really didn’t deserve this, Kyle. I was so mean to you when all you wanted was to make me feel better. It’s just… When I said all those horrible things that night, and when I made fun of you with Eri… with Cartman… I know you must hate me now, because I would hate me too if I were you. After all that time I spent feeling sorry for myself, making myself a victim instead of taking responsibility for my actions… I just wanted to let you know that I didn’t mean to hurt you. I was an awful person and I’m trying to change now.

kyle: Oh, wow. That’s nice to hear, but, Heidi, I never really hated you. I mean, you were dating Cartman, it’s only natural he spoiled and confused you and made you feel so much hatred and anger inside. I understand it and I really appreciate that you’re recovering now. Thanks for apologising!

heidi: You’re… you really are nice. No wonder he talked about you all the time, huh. …Well, um. I really have to go, but maybe if you don’t mind we could chat later. I’d really like to talk to you more.

kyle: Sure, Heidi! Maybe we can even hang out like friends, you know?

heidi, smiling brightly: Wow, that’d be great! Thanks again, Kyle! I’ll see you later then, I guess?

kyle: Yeah, see you, Heidi! It was nice talking to you!

and then kyle returns to kenny, who’s smiling knowingly and making inappropriate jokes:

kenny: So, how was it?

kyle: How was what?

kenny: Flirting with Cartman’s ex?

kyle: I didn’t flirt with her! She just apologised to me and told me she’d like to hang out sometimes.

kenny: U-huh, sure, dude. And that doesn’t seem kinda flirty to you?

kyle: I’m serious! It’s over, I dont feel anything for her and neither does she.

kenny: You kidding me? She was obviously hitting on you, Kyle! Oh, man, Cartman will be pissed off when he finds out!

kyle: You will not tell Cartman about this. And stop making this a big deal, get your own life already!

and the satisfaction and joy of finally getting a proper apology soon were replaced with irritation ‘cause kyle started to overthink things like he usually does. he started to think about heidi possibly having feelings for him while he really couldn’t feel the same so it kinda scared him. he didn’t want to hurt her or something by rejecting her, so he mostly tried to avoid her and acted really nervous around her. she tried to get closer with him, chat and something like that, but he only blushed and stuttered.

wendy having seen their interactions was quite annoyed. she wrongly assumed kyle had a crush on heidi and noticed with irritation that “this jerk can’t hide his feelings. he acts too much like he has something for you, heidi”. and heidi started to overthink too, ‘cause she really didn’t feel anything special for kyle and the possibility of having to reject him and break his heart again was just painful. so she started to avoid kyle too (‘cause they’re both stupid when it comes to dealing with other people’s emotions), making him even more convinced in her crushing on him.

so basically they avoid each other for like… at least a month before they finally have the talk.

kyle: Wait, Heidi!

heidi: Oh… hello, Kyle.

kyle: Heidi, listen to me carefully, I really need to tell you something. You’re a nice girl and I really, really like you–

heidi: (Oh, no…)

kyle: But I just can’t feel the same. I didn’t want to break your heart but Stan told me it’s only worse that I am giving you false hope, so, yeah… I am sorry, Heidi, you really are amazing, it’s just… uh…

heidi: Wait, what?

kyle: Please, just don’t start crying–

heidi: But you’re the one who’s in love with me! I was afraid to break your heart!

kyle: What? No, that’s nonsense! Kenny told me you were hitting on me.

heidi: Wendy told me you were hitting on me!

kyle: …So, wait, we don’t feel anything for each other?

heidi: I… guess so?

kyle: That’s… that’s a relief. I was so worried you’d be heartbroken.

heidi: Yeah, me too actually! But now we can hang out normally, without feeling awkward, right?

kyle, smiling: Sure we can!

and they really start to hang out and, moreover, i can see them becoming more like besties, you know… they hang out all the time and turns out they share a lot of hobbies together: they’re both history nerds, for example! but the main reason why they’re so similar is probably because they both suffer from sexuality crisis and internalised homophobia. they sure are gay & lesbian solidarity, huh. i’ve written a few words about heidi understanding she’s a lesbian here.

and we’re coming to a kyman part of story, because cartman is pissed off to see his ex and kyle getting along so well. everyone around him thinks it’s ‘cause he’s jealous and can’t just let heidi go, but the actual reason why he’s so frustrated is because of kyle spending so much time with a girl, lmao. he actually doesn’t really care about heidi anymore – though they are in fact kind of passively aggressive towards each other – but everyone else thinks otherwise. wendy gets really, really annoyed when cartman says something unpleasant about heidi and kyle spending their weekend together:

wendy: Will you stop bugging Heidi? She’s moved on, Cartman, get your own life and grow up already!

cartman, genuinely confused: Who the fuck cares about Heidi???

but not only wendy – kyle is the most surprised to see cartman getting so frustrated ‘cause of their friendship. he even tries to fight cartman after another unasked comment, genuinely not understanding why cartman is still so obsessed with him and heidi being friends (so oblivious lmao):

kyle: You said you don’t fucking care about Heidi anymore!!

cartman: I don’t!!!

kyle: Then why do you still go crazy when she spends her time with me?

cartman: …I’m just genuinely concerned for the poor girl. She has a risk of infection with jewish disease or something.

kyle: There’s no such thing as jewish disease, Fatass!!

and they continue arguing but cartman is distracted ‘cause he’s confused as hell and he keeps thinking why tf do i care and why do i hate seeing kyle with someone else wtf wtf wtf

and there’s like these scenes where cartman sneaks into kyle’s house and shows up at kyle’s room and then he sees kyle and heidi sitting on a bed together and laughing loudly at some nerdy documentary movie, and cartman gets all jelly and he glares at heidi like:

cartman: What is she doing here?

kyle: She’s watching a documentary with me. What are you doing in my room, Fatass?

so yeah basically that’s a slowburn about kyman and weidi and i can see candy&keidi brosistp so clearly.

TL;DR kyle is a confused homosexual heidi is a confused lesbian and they’re both oblivious af about their crushes :D

cartman took kyle’s phone and changed his own profile there THE MOMENT they started dating (kyle did not rlly like this because when cartman called him once he had no idea what excuse to use when he tried to explain to stan why cartman is called “bbygirl🥰😍” in his phone)

ok here’s an original with heiman but naaaah

the description that i wrote down is basically just this LMAO

but the au itself is about high school!kyman who started dating one day, which was absolutely unexpected, new and confusing for them, so they’ve decided to keep it a secret from everyone for a while, so as not to get negative reaction from their friends. they were trying to think of a proper way to tell other people the news (it was mostly kyle though, because cartman didn’t really care what others would say), and while they still haven’t come up with anything good, they just kept fighting and “hating” each other so others wouldn’t suspect anything unusual (which, honestly, wasn’t really difficult considering that kyle still hated cartman’s bigoted and terrible behaviour).

and they genuinely thought they were doing just great, but literally everyone understood something changed between them after, like, a week or two of their fake rivalry. because kyle is now waaay too slow and hesitant when he has to answer familiar “stfu cartman” when cartman starts pushing his buttons. and eric himself acts strangely protective and defensive when butters supports him in insulting kyle. he goes like:

cartman: Haha, you suck, Kahl!

butters: Hahaha yes, you tell him, Eric!!!

cartman, looking ansolutely insulted: Butters, shut the hell up, what the fuck, man, that was totally unnecessary, who even gave you the right to insult him with me.

butters: But that’s what i usually do…

cartman: Well no you don’t anymore.

butters, confused af: Uh, fine, Eric… So, you don’t hate Kyle anymore?

cartman: What? Pffft, sure I do, he’s a sneaky no good jew.

and then after, like, almost a month, when they are both absolutely sick of hiding and pretending, they finally want to come out to their friends.

kyle: So, basically, I, um… we are kind of together now.

kenny: (Oh. Yeah, we know.)

kyle: What? What do you mean you know?

stan: Well, it was kinda obvious, guys.

cartman: How the hell could me dating fucking Kahl be obvious?

stan: Dude, you were hanging out together any time you were given a chance.

kyle: No, we weren’t–

stan: “Sorry, Stan, the teacher said I have to do this project with Cartman, can’t do anything about it”. Seriously, dude? You would stare at his neck licking your lips, like, at least once a day. Fucking disgusting. Me and Kenny were betting on how long it would take you to finally come out.

kyle: What?! And you didn’t tell anything??

stan: Come on, Kyle, I swear to god, I saw you laughing and smiling when he called you gay while you were arguing. It was too funny to watch without interfering.

kenny: (Yeah, you were smiling almost every time he started insulting you.)

cartman: Ha! Told ya your acting skills suck!

kyle: You suck!

cartman, shrugging: Wow, dude, we just came out, don’t you go spreading all our love life details yet.

kenny, laughing loudly: (That was a good one, bro!)

kyle, blushing and fighting the urge to break cartman’s neck: Don’t give them wrong image of our rela… our thing, you fat asshole.

cartman, smirking: Yep, that’s exactly what you called me last night.

stan, trying to hide a smile: Gross, dudes.

kyle: It’s– I– UGH just– Just… fuck you, guys.

kenny: (All of us? You’d better save that for Cartman ;))

and they would NEVER shut up with this kind of jokes.

i understood i have a huge fucking hyperfixation on kyman when today while i was thinking about a kyman au in the shower i realised that i’m about to have a panic attack so i got out of the shower as quickly as possible to write down a short description of this au so i don’t forget it and then i just continued crying and shaking

Made a lil kyman animatic cause I love them sm???

Song's by Reel Big Fish!

I was iffy on posting this bc I have a LOT of ideas preceding and following this particular scenario and wanted to have it all finished before i shared stuff, but, eh. If I draw anymore, i’ll compile it somehow. I probs won’t clean up the comics more than this though due to being busy, so u guys only get loose scribbles.

Also shoutout to @numbknee’s fics for hella inspiring me enough to want to loosely play with some of their ideas/characterizations (hoping they don’t mind), if u haven’t read their fics, you should: https://archiveofourown.org/users/numbknee/pseuds/numbknee/works?fandom_id=35537

heyyyy !!! i saw a person asking me about my other sp otps (yep thats surprising but kyman is not my only pairing hehe) sooo ive done this

btw i absolutely can’t draw so i’m sorry for how ugly it may look

i also love stenny, clybe, bebe/red, steek, kytters, clenny and staig a lot!!!

also this kinda looks like a template so i’ll leave it here under the cut

and aww @bloogers-boogers thanks a lot for asking!!!!! also wanted to say that your choice of otps is sooooo great like rlly i dont see enough ppl liking ships like jimthan or kenman!! and our taste is a bit similar because YEPPP KYMAN CANDY AND JIMTHAN SHARING (almost) THE SAME DYNAMIC IS SO TRUE!!!

my favorite thing about s11e8 (le petit tourette) is definitely this scene in the very end.

cartman sounds so sincere like he never usually does, and, according to the plot, he wasn’t able to lie or even control his words at that moment. i like to think that all this “i love you man, thank you kyle” is how cartman truly feels about kyle. i mean usually he wouldn’t bother with anything more than a simple “thank you, kyle”. like, it must really mean something if he is so unexpectedly affectionate exactly when he’s unable to control what he’s saying, right?

did i mention i love kyman crossovers? i have come up with a kyman au that is a crossover with infinity train.

first of all if someone has no idea what infinity train is, that’s a cartoon about an odd train with an endless amount of cars in it. people get to this train suddenly, and they have a green flashing number on their hand, each is individual. it represents the main psychological trouble a person has. number can go up and down depending on how far a person is from solving the problem. the main aim of the train is to help ppl solve their trouble and make peace with themselves. (for example the main character of season 1 was a girl whose parents were divorced, and she blamed herself for that. she could only get off the train when she realised she’s not responsible for their decision and sometimes things change for the better)

so basically m4 + butters got to the train to the different cars each, but eventually they would find each other. i think first of all kyle found someone like butters or kenny, and cartman found stan. they would wander around through all those cars trying to understand the meaning of the numbers. when they finally all met up they saw that everyone’s numbers are different (butters has the biggest one and kenny has the least one) except for kyman because they share the same number. and it really pisses them off, because they have no idea why the hell they have something (anything) in common. so they’d start arguing and fighting AND THE NUMBER SUDDENLY WENT UP.

cartman: Aye! Are you copying me or what?

kyle: What are you talking about, Fata– oh! Your number! The same as mine…

cartman: Yeah, Kahl, that’s what I wanted to ask you about!

kyle: I have no idea why it is this way. Probably a coincidence?

cartman: What are the odds of this, huh?

kyle: I don’t know! And fuck off already, I’m already pretty sick of hearing you again.

cartman: You’re sick?? I’m the one who is forced to stay in a godforsaken closeted space with fucking Kyle!

kyle: Ughhh, it was much better to walk with Kenny, you fat fuck.

cartman: Yes, I also prefer Stan’s company muuuch better! …Wait.

kyle: Huh?

cartman: The number. It changed. It was 167 and now it’s 176!

kyle: …Mine too…

cartman: So they are connected.

kyle: I guess they are…

cartman: Oh, screw it, now my number is connected to the jew’s number! That’s not good, I swear it’s a bad luck…

kyle: Shut up already, would you?? I’m trying to think. You made our numbers go up.

cartman: Oh, so now it’s my fault?!

kyle: Whose else could it be?

cartman: My number was totally fine until I met you! I bet you did something to it and now because of your tricks I’ll never leave that train and never go home and that means I’ll never eat my goddamn KFC dinner my mother had promised me today.

kyle: Oh, so that’s the only thing that bothers you??

cartman: No, it actually bothers me a lot that I’m stuck here with you, of all people!!

(lmao btw the numbers are not random, 167 is a number of s16e7 “cartman finds love” and 176 is “ginger cow :D)

so they fight a lot and their number goes up and up, and then cartman does one small nice things for kyle and number goes a but down, so he realises the number depends on their friendship??? so he starts using it trying to act nice and good to kyle (not genuinely ofc)

cartman, opens the car’s door for kyle: After you, my dear friend.

kyle: What are you doing?

cartman: What? Just trying to help you, that’s all.

kyle: …You enter this one first.

cartman: What. Why?

kyle: I don’t trust you. It’s probably the most dangerous one and you just want to lock me there or something.

cartman: Why would I do that, Kahl?

kyle: Because you hate me.

cartman: That’s not true! It’s just friendly fighting, nothing more. Come on, Kyle, I’ll help you with that car! Hey, and did I mention you look sooo great today?

kyle, raising an eyebrow: The fuck are you talking about? What’s the catch? And why do you keep looking at your number?

cartman: Oh my GOD! Can’t I just be nice to you for a goddamn minute without you suspecting me of some delusional ideas, you fucking jew?!

kyle: I want to know why you’re nice, because I will never believe you’re genuine about that.

cartman: Oh, for fuck’s sake, just keep going!

and he realises it doesn’t work until it’s sincere.

so it takes them about two months to fix their friendship and be honest about it. that they don’t actually hate each other, that they have much more in common than they thought. and then they’re stuck at something like 10, for, um, two weeks. nothing they do can change their number no matter how nice and good they are to each other. the thing is the train wanted them to be honest to themselves, and they couldn’t do it without admitting they like each other more than friends :3

AND OH GOD PLS TELL ME IT DOESN’T SOUND DELUSIONAL AND CRINGE BECAUSE IVE BEEN THINKING ABOUT THIS SHIT FOR LIKE THE WHOLE DAY.

shout out to sp fandom cuz i really think we underestimate how terribly wasted heidi turner’s potential is. i mean. the girl literally dated eric cartman i can’t believe matt&tray really just ignored possible funny scenes about their post-breakup lives?? like?? it’s such a big field for jokes and plots?? her losing weight or her and cartman being passively aggressive to each other every time they have to talk?? or her being hated by the rest of the girls in the class? i’m not talking anout making her a major character, but just one episode about her future after that one arc in s21 would be really nice :( it’s so sad for me to see how she’s absolutely forgotten by everyone

also i strongly headcanon heidi as a lesbian who realised her orientation after ending her relationship with cartman and just IMAGINE how shocked he’d be when he realised the only girl who actually liked him turned out to be a lesbian after dating him. that’s freaking hilarious

damn we really need more episodes about girls cuz they’re always absolutely wonderful like am i really the only one who LOVES s23e7 (the girls board club part!!!!!) or s17e10? doubt it