[🚧 WIP] Don't Mind Me, I'm Just Trying To Remember How To Hold A Pen

I’m a bit curious on Hal’s personality in his depictions. From what I know is that early hal was headstrong, cocky, kind of a goofball, and detached (dissociating away his fear and averse to commitment). This seems to be the version of Hal that most people write.

But then there’s the whole Parallax thing, and the Spectre run. I don’t know much about it but it seems hal gets a lot more subdued and melancholy as the spectre. And then after that he comes back as flesh and bone.

So what is he like at the end of that?

Pre-Johns and pre-Parallax Hal tended to be more happy go lucky, stupid, and generally doe eyed hopeful "the system that fucked me over once definitely won't do it again!" type of man. He was also entitled at times. But this is mostly true up until around the time of Hard Traveling Heroes, which is when he starts to be heartbroken and melancholic, traits that persist until the climax of Emerald Twilight.

A lot of people say Emerald Twilight came from nowhere and I disagree. I think those people weren't paying attention, because all the signs were there. Hal had been steadily becoming more disillusioned and melancholic through the 70s and 80s until we get to the 90s, where that heartbreak gets amplified to the nth degree. Hal didn't go from stupid to mad with grief without a transition period in the middle. But a lot of people think once a run from x writer ends, it no longer counts for the next one, and so they say the tragedy came from nowhere.

At the very start of the 90s, Hal has a lot of suicidal ideation going on. The run itself begins with him more or less saying "There’s nowhere else to go" (paraphrasing) and throwing himself off a cliff. He waits until he's almost crashing head first into the ground to pull himself out of there using his ring. He's flirting with the thought of death.

He is also self sabotaging. He pulls back from everyone and turns himself into a homeless man who lives on the road because he's looking for a sense of self, a meaning to life he has lost. He becomes a seasonal worker because he needs something to do, but those jobs never last because the life he's trying to leave behind (in the shape of Guy Gardner) keeps metaphorically knocking on the door and dragging him back to Green Lantern.

Even when he comes back, he chooses to do solitary things. For example: exploring space to recruit more GLs, that keeps interactions to a minimum. It's all things that are brewing in a pressure cooker that blows up when Coast City is destroyed in front of Hal's eyes and the hero community drops the ball. Hard.

They all say well, it’s not MY city. They all say get over it. Clark goes and creates a monument using scraps of the very bomb that killed everyone and everything Hal knew all his life, and immediately after that Clark is in Metropolis enjoying the sun and saying aaaaah. what a nice day.

And Hal doesn't snap immediately. The tension is there, but at first he does try to keep it together until it becomes impossible. He tries to reconstruct Coast City, but there are limits to what the ring can do. The one thing he could depend on, his will power, is not enough. He is not enough. His grief and anger become so big that his mind just... fractures. He snaps. No one's listening and no one's helping, so he will take matters into his own hands and make. it. right.

This Hal is angry. This Hal has a heart with a hole that threatens to kill him at any moment but he endures because he cannot die until he does what needs to be done. This Hal refuses the help that comes too late, he has killed his friends, he has destroyed the corps, he has killed Sinestro. Kyle arrives like a lighthouse in the middle of the storm but for Hal it's too late because he has driven his ship into the cliff and is letting it sink with himself still in it.

He is mad at himself and mad at the world for failing Coast City and all the innocent lives lost. He almost becomes a god, and is perceived as a god by some due to the power he now possesses. There are moments when clarity hits him and the old wounded heartbroken Hal shows his face, and he is dying. His pain is so palpable. His anguish. The old Hal wants help. But Parallax Hal does not want to be saved.

Of course, the status quo changes with the events of Final Night. Hal sacrifices himself to save the Earth. He sees that only in death will his anger stop, and he sees that he's the only one who can do what no one else could do for Coast City. It's a no brainer. He sacrifices himself and burns himself to a crisp reigniting the sun. Hal doesn’t expect to come back. He doesn’t want to come back. This is HIS final night.

Unfortunately, The Spectre had other plans. His anger morphs into straight up depression because now he is alive enough to deal with the outcome of what he did as Parallax. He has to live with the tragedy of what he lost and the tragedy of what he did. Few people stand by his side and want to give him a chance. Very few people recognize there's good in him. Most want to see him dead and gone. He himself wants to be dead and gone. Helen, his niece, being there definitely helps him not lose it, not lose himself. She is his hope. She is the innocence he lost and he will never get back.

After all of this, he is more grounded, mature. Still melancholic. Still haunted by everything that happened. He is cocky, of course, and self assured, because at the end of the day those are the things he can cling to with some sort of safety net. But they're also things he uses to keep the raw wounds hidden.

Post Johns? Yeah like more than half of this is lost because Hal’s the greatest hero ever and he can do no wrong. He is headstrong, overconfident, cocky, and ultimately good, but he is missing like half of his soul.

Sun over the mountains

Fit: [Reading chat] "FitMC, you are literally queerbaiting us." [Laughs]

Fit: No, p– I always– I always found it humorous when there– I mean, there'd be a couple detractors here and there, during like, the height of Hideduo, there were people that were like "Oh this is- this is queerbaiting." And I'm just like "But- but they're canonically homosexual."

Fit: It's not like we're pulling a Disney where it's like "Oh, we're gonna allude to these characters maybe being gay, but we're never gonna act on it!" Like– No, they were gay. [Laughs] q!Fit and q!Pac were very much in love, very much in love. And they showed it, both emotionally and occasionally physically, but... You know, and people gotta remember that.

Universe Switch- WIP

(a sneak peak at what I have so far)

This story is where Felwinter from a Universe where lives and Osiris takes his place in Site 6 gets flopped into the normal Destiny universe.

Felwinter groaned as he woke up, his vision spinning as his systems all reset. He had been fighting in the battle against the Witness side by side with Saint when the Young Wolf had dealt the killing blow and he had been blown off the tower falling to what he assumed would be a final death since Felspring had been killed just a few years prior.

He knew Saint would be devastated but he would keep going to take care of the Young Wolf just like Saladin had kept going after losing Jolder and like how Felwinter had kept going even after Osiris had taken his place in Site 6 and died to the SIVA.

Closing his eyes he let his last thoughts be of Osiris and his worst regret. Then he felt something wrench something inside of him and it all went black.

He was surprised when he woke up laying on the ground in Site 6 and winced as he dragged himself to his feet looking around. It was like he remembered it when he had helped the Young Wolf fight off the SIVA infected Iron Lords. He jumped when a ghost materialized beside him before staring dumbly at Felspring as she started talking about how she didn’t know how they were alive after being destroyed by SIVA.

“But… we weren’t here? You were killed by the Celebrant when I tried to kill it alone. Osiris died here. He wouldn’t let me go. Insisted to let this be his test to earn the title of Iron Lord. So I gave in. He never came home again. I moved to the Last City and moved in with Saint-14… don’t you remember?” He asked her surprised.

She buzzed back at him in confusion. “I… don’t. No. I remember you fighting here after a fight with Osiris and he stormed off. We all died when Lady Jolder blew everything up.” The ghost admitted.

Taking that in Felwinter nodded. “Well… we should go to the tower. I’m certain Ikora will help us find answers and I want to see Saint.” He said and she bobbed before coming over and nuzzling against his neck. He patted her gently.

“I missed you too.” He murmured before they started picking their way out to find a ship and get to the last city.

The bustle of the Tower soothed his nerves even if he got a lot of stares. He ignored them and made his way to the apartment he shared with Saint near the hanger glad that the code still seemed to be the same to let him in.

However, walking inside, he immediately felt like he had entered the wrong apartment. Some items were right, like the copper tea kettle from his rooms at the Iron Temple and a few books he knew were his but there were also stacks of papers everywhere, and little trinkets he knew neither he nor Saint had bought.

“It looks like your office when Osiris was in a tizzy over some new topic,” Felspring giggled and Felwinter make a snorting sound as he walked over to one of the datapads. Before he could reach it, however, he felt the cold chill of void energy behind him and immediately summoned a dawnblade and spun just in time to block the shield spinning for his head. It got reflected back to the titan and Felwinter dove to the side as a fist was aimed at him instead.

“Saint! Stop! It’s me!” He yelped and jumped over the couch as Saint-14 spun around glaring.

“You break into my house and you want me to not kill you? I do not know who you are,” He growled

“What do you mean you don’t know me!? So help me if you got amnesia from banging you head to0 hard into a Vex or Fallen again I’m going to bash your head into a wall! Saint-14, I am your husband. I live here! Felwinter? Iron Lord?” He yelled as he continued to dodge Saint’s attacks but the name seemed to draw him up short.

“Felwinter? Lord Felwinter died centuries ago! I only met him twice in temple and never spoke to him directly. I did not marry him, I married Osiris! Everyone knows I married Osiris! You are not even good liar.” Saint snarled at him accent getting thicker with his anger.

Felwinter froze as pain that wasn’t from an injury radiated through him but then the door opened and they both turned to look at Osiris as he walked in.

It was definitely Osiris despite looking older and more haggard. He looked between them eying the dawnblade and Saint’s shield but looking up into Felwinter’s eyes Felwinter was relieved to see a look of recognition.

“Felwinter?” He asked and Saint snorted but let his shield fade away so Felwinter followed his lead and let his blade dissipate as well.

“So he claims! He also claimed that we were married and you died! A fool who doesn’t even know his history well enough to lie! We both know Lord Felwinter died,” Saint huffed walking over to stand protectively near Osiris.

“You died too Saint. In the Garden. We, of all people, should know that impossible things can happen. How did you know the code for the door to get in? It was not forced,” Osiris asked calmly.

Felwinter felt like his heart was being torn to pieces. “I… It was… Our wedding date. I’ll go. Clearly this is not my home. There was a mistake.” He said but Osiris’ hand shot out and he grabbed Felwinter’s arm.

“Your wedding to Saint? Please don’t leave yet. I know this must be difficult for you but I believe you are who you say you are. I knew Lord Felwinter and his light is unmistakable. Your light is unmistakable.” Osiris said and Felwinter resisted yanking his arm back.

“Yes. My wedding to Saint-14. A different Saint-14 it seems. Let me go.” He said the sound like grating metal as he tried not to lash out from the hurt that was building up his chest.

Osiris released him and he cradled his arm to his chest as if it had been burnt as he backed toward the door.

“Fel… You don’t have to go. It was a misunderstanding but even if you aren’t from here that doesn’t mean you aren’t wanted.” Osiris said eyes wide and hand still hovering outstretched.

Felwinter looked between him and Saint, violet eyes now looking appraising instead of angry.

“I… I should go.” He said and wrenched the door open and ran. He could hear, briefly, Osiris turn on Saint and start hissing at him like an angry cat but he quickly put too much distance between the apartment and himself to heard anything. He found a dark corner he knew no one would pass by and let himself curl up starting to sob into his knees. Felspring did her best to nuzzle in to his neck to offer him some comfort but it was all so much.

You weren't supposed to do that

"Abyssal view" Credit for the idea goes to @di-ay-why-dino :D

Fun fact! the reason why this happens is because there's not enough path options OR it's too cluttered!

so give your spouse some space 😂 ALSO I forgot to add another T in the word "Elliott", MY BAD :/

i wanna talk about this shot

WHY DID NO ONE TELL ME SAINT REFERS TO DRIFTER AS "the basement man" 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭

Baby birb in a baby helmet → Big birb in a big helmet

HI! ITS ME AGAIN, miss me? Anyways, I love how you draw Felwinter. I find him hot— anyways, I was wondering if you have any Felwinter drawings you’d like to share, even if they’re already here? I just find him very nifty, please and thank youuu :)

Hey and thank you!! 💙

Umm, maybe this one? I have special feelings for it. It's very old, I drew that back in the Season of the Worthy, after the quest for Felwinter's Lie was released jfc how I'm here in this fandom for that long already wat????? but there are some things I still like about it...

Actually, I think I might redraw it someday, that'd be fun to compare. I would've done absolutely everything differently now alkdshfkj

But my favorite is probably this, of course 🙃

(Sometimes I wonder what Felwinter would've said if he knew Red was referring to him as his son. I have a feeling it would've been newsflash to him)

Help me prove my family wrong!

I don't know if this post will break containment, but will you like/reblog if you are or know a man who is asexual? All of the people in my life seem convinced that being Ace is a 'girl thing' and that Ace men don't exist!