I deeply miss actively IC blogging but I tend to get very stuck in the “what to post about” category. Hopefully after I get my move all sorted out I will be able to start taking some steps because I miss my muses and I miss everyone else’s muses too.
people might think creating OC lore involves a lot of thinking & planning, but in my personal experience, OC development is more like a divine vision from a god slamming you over the head with a mallet while ur doing the fuckin dishes or folding laundry
"I have depression." - character who has been through extensive therapy.
"I feel dead inside all the time and nothing helps!" - character who does like, regular introspective thinking and is aware of the concept of mental health.
"Leave me the fuck alone I'll be fine once I get over my stupid shit." - repressed character.
"It's fine I'm just having an Empty Time. What? Yeah, empty times, you know, when everything is like bzzzzzz in your brain and you don't shower for two weeks. Why, what do you call it?" - ooooughhh now we're talkin
i loooooove giving my ocs perpetrator trauma. you hurt people, used and abused and destroyed them, and you will never wash out that stain. you will grow resentful of forgiveness because you refuse to forgive yourself. they don't know what you did like you do. you wear that knowledge like armor, like a sick badge of shameful pride. you can't cut off the hand that struck out and throw it away. you can't pull out your teeth and become something kinder, something more vulnerable.
I know there are people who avoid OOC interaction entirely to avoid meta knowledge tainting their portrayals and I definitely can't live like that but I've always had memory issues and there is so much different stuff bouncing around in my head anymore that I don't know how to keep straight what has been revealed ic and what hasn't anymore :') constantly paranoid I'm going to unintentionally metagame because I can't remember anything ever