STOP THIS MADNESS BRO 🙏🙏 THEY R SO GAY

STOP THIS MADNESS BRO 🙏🙏 THEY R SO GAY

close to my heart, i hold you dearly

synopsis — as you and megan continue the fake relationship during a double date, it becomes harder to deny your feelings for one another.

tags — fake dating trope, non idol au, mutual pining, masc!reader

now playing: tell her how you feel, dream wave.

a/n: yikes srry i took so long with part 2 😓 i tried my best w build up of tension & the pacing, tbh yn and megan are just idiots in love. implied hair theory in love (??) 😛megan going back to natural

++ links: part i. this features yunjin my favorite side character, she’s really just a plot device to me (JOKES) decided to make this extra long since i made y’all wait !!!

“yun, for the last time, i am not going on a double date with you.” groaning out, you glared at the girl before you who had her lips jutted out and puppy eyes on display.

yunjin wailed, throwing her arms up. “yn, please! i need you to do this for me.”

currently, the two of you were in the ginger’s college dormitory. the initial plan was to study together, since finals were coming up in a few weeks, but the american had other plans. from the moment you stepped into her room, she pushed her books aside and brought up her proposal, which she was now trying to convince you to do.

the glare you sent the girl didn’t faze her, nor did it falter her confidence that you would agree. she didn’t give you another chance to respond, talking animatedly.

“its only dinner, and it’s not like i’m setting you up with someone! obviously you’ll bring megan.” she said, watching as you stood up from the couch.

you froze for a second, glancing over your shoulder. shaking the surprise off, you continued the short walk to fridge and grabbed a bottle of water, loosening the bottles cap.

“how do you know about megan?” you questioned, taking a sip from the bottle.

yunjin turned around on the couch to face you, a mischievous smile on her face. “well, sophia mentioned she saw you two at some party.” she drawled out, “where do you think i got the idea for the double date?”

you rolled your eyes at her ‘brilliant’ plan, twisting the lid of the bottle closed. you leaned against the counter, looking at your friend.

“isn’t this your first date with soph?” you asked her, eyebrows knitted together.

yunjin nodded her head, though she had a bashful look on her face. “yes, but— god, you know how nervous i get around her. what if i mess up and say something stupid?”

you laughed at her words, because yeah, it was true that yunjin was a bit of a nervous loser around any pretty girl. you were sure she’d mess up in someway with the filipino girl.

she got up from the couch, walking towards you. “i need you there as, like, a buffer for me, and since you and megan are already together, it would be less awkward!”

you tilted your head to the side and stared at the girl. her eyes were wide with distress, hands put together as if she was praying. it was an amusing sight, and you couldn’t help but let out a light chuckle at her antics.

“how are we friends?”

yunjin sighed exasperatedly and gripped her hands onto your forearms. her hold was tight, and you could tell she was close to losing it if you didn’t say yes.

“please, please,” she begged, “when have i ever asked you to do anything for me?”

you looked at her in disbelief, reminding her of a past experience, “uh— first year? you made me bring gifts to your crush for three weeks straight, and she ended up thinking i had a crush on her!”

yunjin’s lips fell in a straight line at your response, looking off to the side. “okay, fine, i admit that was a bit extreme. but i really like sophia, so pretty, pretty please will you go with us?”

“alright, calm down!” you pulled her arms off you, and laughed lightly at the hope that spread in her eyes. “i’ll talk to megan about it.”

yunjin let out a loud yell, thanking you and pressed her body against yours in a quick hug. you barely had time to reciprocate the hug before she was pulling away. she smiled widely, her pearly whites on display, and ran around the dorm in search of her phone to let sophia know you’d be joining them.

you laughed again at her frantic movements and shuffled over to the couch, “can we get on with studying now?”

“ugh, you are such a nerd.”

megan’s room was quiet, aside from the rolling credits of the movie you’d just finished. it had been over a month since the fake relationship began, and the two of you had grown closer as friends. you’d go out for dates, planned movie nights, had dinner with each others parents.

it was fun to have megan as a friend. she was lively, unashamed to be herself around you. she laughed as loud as she wanted, ranted to you about her newest obsessions, told you stories from her childhood, embarrassing and all. megan brought a side out of you that you didn’t even know existed, and the ongoing idea of being ‘together’ caused many inside jokes and teasing.

what warmed your heart the most was the way she got along with your younger sister. hyein was known to be somewhat of a menace, she also rarely liked the girls you brought home, and she never hid that from you. however, with megan, your sister loved talking to her, wanting to be with you and her anytime the hawaiian girl came over.

that made it difficult to have a moment alone with her, which was why you spent most of your time together at megan’s place, like now.

“oh, i almost forgot!” you gasped out once megan paused the movie.

she looked at you in confusion as you got off the bed and reached for your tote bag, digging inside and pulled out a square, silver box. your back was to megan, so she couldn’t see what was in your hand, her curiosity piquing.

the box had a bow wrapped around the centre, it delicately resting in your hands as you plopped back on the bed, crossing your legs underneath you and glanced at her with a small smile. megan moved to sit opposite you, her gaze filled with interest, but also had a softness to it, like it always did when she looked at you.

“for you.” you said, lightly.

megan took the box from you, her hands brushing against yours tenderly, causing your heart to stutter from the brief contact. it was a foreign feeling to you, yet you brushed it off in the moment.

she frowned as you watched her slowly undo the bow. megan didn’t say anything while she took the top lid off, shrieking once she noticed the shining metal in the light, taking a pair of earrings out and holding it in her palm.

“yn…” she breathlessly said, eyes connecting with yours. “these are so beautiful.”

you shrugged nonchalantly, as if it wasn’t a big deal. then, you wiggled your eyebrows teasingly, “happy fake anniversary.”

megan burst out in giggles at your words and leaped forward to wrap her arms around your neck, the earrings being clutched tightly in her hand. there was a bit of force as you were pushed back, leaning on yours arms while you supported yours and megan’s weight.

“oh my god, you dork!” she muttered against your ear, “i can’t believe you would get me this for a fake anniversary.”

you reached up to caress the back of her head, smiling to yourself, chest filling with comfort. as nice as it was to see the girl so happy, you regretfully let out, “eh, that’s not the only reason…”

megan leaned back, her arms falling beside her and once again looking confused. you shyly placed your hand on the side of your neck, avoiding her gaze.

“yunjin wants us to go on a double date.” you explained, sucking in a breath. “with her and sophia.”

“oh,” megan paused, looking at the earrings in her palm, deep in thought. she’d be lying if she said she wasn’t a little sad over the gift having an ulterior motive. “so, this is bribery then?”

“well, no.” you took one earring from her and brought it up to megan’s earlobe, testing how it would look on her. “i also wanted to get you something nice.”

megan tried to ignore the feeling of your skin brushing against her jaw, your touch like a burn. while you peered over how the earring suited her, megan’s eyes were watching you, silently thinking that you looked stunning in the lighting of her room, yet she forced herself to break her gaze once you placed the earring back in her palm.

“thank you, yn. when’s the date?” she questioned, searching for the box in her messy sheets.

“next friday.” you replied, though you hadn’t noticed the slight change in her attitude as you tucked some hair behind megan’s ear, her movements pausing. “guess we’re going to have to pretend again.”

megan chortled, though it was strained. she pushed aside her feelings, settling the heavy sensation deep in her heart. she put the earrings back in the box as she bit down on her lower lip.

“we did do a pretty good job at it last time.” the ginger commented, placing the lid over the box and handed it to you so that you could put it on her nightstand.

“we did.” you agreed, leaning back against the headboard.

your mind began to fade away from the present moment, thinking back to the party; being with megan, your close proximity, her body against yours, her hands tucked under your shirt, having her against the wall, the heat you felt, kissing her.

“should we watch another movie?” you asked, snapping yourself out of a daze.

megan shook her head, “hm, no. i’m feeling a little tired.” she lied, wanting to close her eyes and forget this weird disappointment she felt.

you reached for the laptop and set it on the floor, then moved down until you were lying flat on the bed, hand wrapping around megan’s wrist and gently tugged her towards you. megan didn’t say anything, allowing you to pull her against your chest, wrapping an arm around her shoulder.

“then lets sleep.” you told her, shutting your eyes closed.

though she was unsettled by the bribery tactic, megan couldn’t help but find comfort in your hold. megan’s breath hitched in her throat. it wouldn’t be the first time you’d lay like this, having to keep up the charade of dating around her friends and your sister. there were many moments where she felt this feeling, each one more deeper than the last.

(the first time she felt it, it was during a saturday night as you settled in your couch together for a series binge watching of squid game with your sister, hyein. megan still remember how her heart stopped when she felt your hand drop below her waist, resting on her hips, her skin warm against yours. it made her dizzy, bashful, yet it seemed as if it was second nature to you.

the second time she felt it was while you were over at lara’s place. it was a hot, summer evening, the heat having tired everyone out, and you’d fallen asleep against megan. she freaked, wondering how to move you so you’d be more comfortable, until you pulled her towards you, your hold tight, and her heart raced from the way you unknowingly reached for her. she had no choice but to calm her racing heart and try to sleep with out.

the third time she felt it, surprisingly was not in your arms. instead, it was during a moment of heavy sickness for her. you’d come over, bearing with some warm soup and orchids, her favorite, and— wait, she didn’t remember telling you that. megan didn’t question it though, and despite her attempts of keeping you away, as she didn’t want you getting sick too, you stayed, until she was better, until she was feeling like herself.

later that day, megan would find out you’d actually asked lara what her preference for flowers were.

she saw it — you cared for her.)

but now, in this moment, as your fingers lazily rubbed circles in her hair, how perfectly she fit in your arms, megan felt her heart constrict in her chest.

the hawaiian knew, then and there, this wasn’t what one was supposed to experience during a fake relationship. she wondered, did you feel that too? did you also have these brief, fleeting moments of wanting more?

megan couldn’t remember the last time she felt this way, but she hoped — prayed — you’d be there to catch her.

the dim lighting of the restaurant created a warm glow, smooth jazz music playing. the place yunjin told you to meet at was far from classy, yet it wasn’t so casual either. it was more in between, even to give sophia a good impression of her.

the waiter guided you and megan towards a booth where you caught sight of your college friend, sophia sitting beside her, deep in conversation and talking animatedly.

it was yunjin who noticed you first, the shadow of the waiter casting over the table caused her to look up. he nodded his head curtly to you, walking off to the front desk of the restaurant, while you and yunjin shared a brief embrace, sending a smile towards the filipino. megan greeted them both with a graceful hello, sliding into the booth and you followed behind her, sitting close enough that your thighs touched.

yunjin leaned back, chuckling smoothly. “finally, you’re here! i was beginning to think you wouldn’t show anymore.”

“its true, she was all fidgety and antsy.” sophia commented, looking over at yunjin with deep admiration. “it was kind of cute.”

yunjin’s cheeks flushed a deep red from the girl’s words, and you smirked at the way she practically melted once sophia reached behind her and scratched her nails on yunjin’s neck.

god, that girl was hopeless.

“we would’ve been here sooner, but someone—” you glanced at megan purposely, voice hard for a second. “—took forever to drive here.”

megan tutted, placing a hand over her chest in mock offense. “you judge my driving too harshly.”

“i almost died — twice!” you screeched out, eyes wide in bewilderment, yet a smile tugged at your lips. “i’m taking us home tonight.”

your tone left no room for debate, but megan didn’t mind; she’d gladly be your passenger princess any day. the girl rolled her eyes playfully, and tugged on the knot of the tie that loosely and lowly hung around your neck.

“fine,” she huffed. “no complaints here.”

you grasped onto her hand that held onto the knot and lugged it away, scowling in a joking manner, pretending to be annoyed that she had messed it up. megan flipped your hands around so that she now grasped yours and pulled it over her shoulder, your arm now resting around it.

megan convinced herself was doing this for show. after all, both yunjin and sophia believed you were really together — you needed to play the part.

yet, she missed the way sophia glanced at you two, a hint of joy in her eyes at seeing her friend happy, especially since sophia knew how heartbroken megan was over her ex girlfriend. she could sense it was natural the way you and megan acted, you were simply drawn to one another.

sophia knew megan was feeling more like her old self, the megan before the break-up, before she had first met her ex.

“i like the new look.” the filipino voiced, leaning forward as she looked at megan.

the girl in question glanced down at her hair that flew over her shoulders, “yeah?” she laughed, smiling widely. “i said i’d go back to black.”

“it really does suit you, meg.” yunjin agreed, offering a shy smile. “but i’m a little sad we aren’t twinning anymore.” she touched her own ginger hair, looking down at it.

megan smiled even more, till her eyes turned into crescents. it was a sight to behold, this bright energy and glow that radiated from her, and you felt your own smile grow from her happiness alone.

“maybe dye your hair and we’d match again.” megan shrugged, offering a teasing look to the american.

yunjin looked in genuine thought as she contemplated the idea. sophia noticed and pouted, her glossy lips shining in the light of the restaurant.

“aw no, i quite like ginger yun.” she prodded.

you couldn’t help but cackle as your friend stumbled over her words, stuttering out a barely coherent sentence. megan, who was much more discreet than you, stifled a laugh as well.

yunjin looked down at sophia, her eyes shining with love, completely her mercy. “oh… s-sure! anything you like, i’ll be.”

sophia found the american’s behavior endearing, smirking to herself, as if she knew of the power she held. she then simply shook her head, though she smiled adoringly, and began a conversation with megan off to side.

you leaned forward across the table. yunjin wasn’t that far away, so your arm still hung partially over megan’s shoulder while the distance between you and the ginger became less.

you squinted at her, “jesus chris, get a fucking grip, dude.”

yunjin groaned internally, her whole body felt flushed. she was way too nervous for this, her heart thumping erratically.

“i’m trying,” yunjin hissed. “this is exactly why you’re here.” she reminded you, quickly taking a much needed sip of water.

you were about to respond when a waiter walked over, inquiring if you were ready to order. you leaned away from yunjin, who stared at you warningly, drawing your arm off megan’s shoulder and opened the menu, flipping through the pages until you all decided on what to eat for the night.

conversation flowed between the four of you easily while you waited for your food, exchanging laughs and talking about many different topics. at times, you and megan found yourselves wrapped in one another’s words, talking amongst each other alone, as if yunjin and sophia were nonexistent.

the dinner came to an end, plates taken away the only thing left behind was either half empty or finished glasses of drinks, and the bill already paid. it was when you were walking out the restaurant doors that you thanked yunjin for inviting you and megan out, to which the girl stared at you tauntingly.

“ah, you didn’t think this would be the only thing for tonight, did you?” she asked, the corner of her lip twitched in a sly smirk.

you looked to her with surprise, “you said it was just dinner.” coming to a stop, you quickly glanced at megan, and back to yunjin.

the four of you stood outside in the restaurant’s parking lot, the cool and crisp air a huge contrast to the warmth of inside.

“right,” yunjin nodded. “and a movie.” she divulged, smiling at the happy noise sophia let out, heart leaping once again. “there’s a drive-in movie a couple blocks away.”

you slumped forward at the news. did yunjin really have to spring this on you?

you were very prepared for a dinner date, but now there was a movie involved. and while you were completely fine at first, you wondered how you’d managed to be around megan in this predicament, especially with these weird, new feelings.

dinner was one thing, but to be with megan, in the dark — alone — was something else entirely.

yunjin was looking at you hopefully, silently pleading with you. sophia watched as you stood rooted to your spot, a little confused at your reluctancy. and megan, sweet, attentive megan, nudged your arm, drawing your attention.

“c’mon, it’ll be fun.” she mumbled lowly, looking up at you, lazy smile in place.

you glanced at her, wondering if you’d really want to do this. sophia and yunjin were still watching you, awaiting your response, and then you remembered you had to keep this charade up, because in their eyes, you and megan were girlfriends.

and you were to say no to your girlfriend?

you sighed, but your voice quickly turned into a much cheerier one. “alright, whatever my darling wants, she gets.”

“oh, get a fucking grip.” yunjin snorted, mocking you with the same words you’d used earlier.

she shook her head at you, her and sophia walking towards the car they’d come in. yunjin shouted back at you from where they were parked, telling you to follow behind her and she’d lead you to the drive-in.

while you and megan walked towards your own car, she leaned in close, her chin pressed against your forearm. “darling?”

you could already sense that teasing tone she had, pushing her away slightly. “shut up, i panicked.”

megan snickered at the top of her voice, her laugh echoing in the empty space around you and her. it didn’t take long for her laughter to die down, and she fell into little giggles here and there while you continued to walk, the car still quite a distance away. as you strolled together, like magnets, you and megan were pulled together, until your finger tips brushed against one another. your steps slowed down, walking in a leisurely pace, feeling content in the quiet that settled over you.

yunjin and sophia were a few feet away, and much like you and megan, they too were sitting on the hood of the car. you could see yunjin’s arm draped over sophia’s arm, and you were proud that the girl finally found some confidence in herself amongst nervousness.

on the other hand, you sat with your arm to yourself, not needing to play the part of a fake girlfriend since yunjin and sophia were occupied.

megan had her eyes on you for quite some time, the movie being drowned out. it wasn’t that the movie wasn’t interesting — oh no, no. if anything, the movie was fascinating, yet her attention had been on you.

the twilight glow of the large movie screen illuminated your face. she stared up at you, as if memorizing your features. the sharp curve of your jaw, the length of your eyelashes, the slow blinks of your eyelids as you watched the movie.

it was rather difficult to ignore the feeling of her gaze on you, and after much time, you’d decided to call her out on it.

“i can feel you staring, y’know.” you tilted your head to look at her, raising an eyebrow. she looked away, now facing the large screen.

megan choked on a breath, “i-i wasn’t…! i was just admiring.” she explained, her erratic heart racing beneath her ribcage.

you hummed, leaning closer to her. “is it to your liking?” you questioned. it was now your turn to stare at her side profile, megan’s throat bobbing up and down as she swallowed nervously.

she glanced at you from her peripheral vision, “definitely.” megan concluded, finally turning to face you.

you didn’t realize exactly how close you were until she was looking at you, her honey eyes staring back into your own. your mouth dried, and for a moment you felt feint. megan was within such close reach, if you moved even an inch you’d be skin to skin with her, so close that you could smell the scent of her lip glass, and without realizing it, your eyes had dropped to her lips.

they shone despite it being dark out, courtesy of lighting from the big screen. they were pink, and looked as soft as ever.

it was brief, having your gaze on her lips, and then you looked back into her eyes, your mind feeling fuzzy. megan stared back at you, both of you silent, as if saying any word would shatter the tension that settled over you like a blanket. the stares continued, the eye contact becoming unbearable.

“i think we did another great job.” she murmured, voice shaky, the nerves obvious.

“we’re getting too good at this.” you breathed out, wanting to pull megan close, press her lips against yours.

megan nodded in agreement, as though you both knew this wasn’t pretend at all. the dark haired girl’s eyes fluttered down to your lips, but you’d denied one another the satisfaction, taking a sharp breath in and both turning to focus on the movie.

it was now you who stole glances, megan’s side profile was alluring. she looked stunning with her black hair, your jacket hanging off her shoulders, and— holy shit, when did megan look so good?

you knew megan definitely had admirers, given her beauty, but as you stared at her, longingly, she had never looked more captivating that in this moment.

this was megan in all her glory, and she was utter perfection.

your head spun, suddenly feeling your heart stutter and jump. your stomach felt queasy, being twisted and undone over and over. your mouth dried again. this feeling wasn’t new to you, many times before had you felt this way for other girls, but with megan, this was more — this was a deeper, raw, undeniable connection.

you looked away, attention now on the movie, your mind reeling from the sudden awareness that was no longer fake.

your hand dropped from where it was placed over your knee, so close to megan’s. she felt your hand drop, the thud heard on the hood of the car, and with the weight of her feelings, she unknowingly drew her hand closer to yours.

your hand reached outwards, nervously, you glanced down, watching the way your fingers would inch closer to hers, but you’d pull back, quickly, abruptly, like you’d been struck by lightning.

you swallowed, thinking to yourself. would megan mind if you grabbed her hand? would she pull away, deny you the comfort of her warmth?

it was inevitable, the way you and her found one another even in the dark night.

your fingers reached out, finding hers. silently, you stared ahead, as though the tingles you felt weren’t sending a jolt to your stomach and chest. megan’s fingers intertwined with yours, loosely hanging together, and much like you — even if she didn’t know how you felt — her own body had electricity dancing all over.

neither of you said a word. this quiet, tender moment allowing both of you to relish in the feelings. there was no one around, no one to pretend in front of, no one to fool.

you took this moment for yourselves, selfishly, uncaring, and greedily.

ooohuuhh they didn’t even kiss ??? 🤔 haha… so part 3?