Yall Ended Up Deciding On Your Favorite Men On TOT? How? Does Marius's 'onee-san' Not Entice You? Does

brain: hey sweetie. lets stop this, okay? its not working out. maybe this isnt your cup of tea. a smart person knows when to stop.

me: okay.. *considers stopping and quitting the thing*

brain: you fucking coward. you are giving up in between and running away. you idiot, you moron- you just dont wanna see through it. you fucking dumbfuck.

me: .....

I just finished watching a video on focus/reading and was wondering about the attention economy and how people are genuinely struggling- then I opened tumblr and then I frowned at how legit I see no one discuss that here for the most part.

And then I realized because this hellsite is a text-driven, minimally algorithmised, filled with a userbase of creatives and holding strongly onto the 'romantic era' culture.

All other platforms being plagued with ai art and posts, but be shunned to death if you try that shit on tumblr. Credit the artist or begone from this place, fool.

Its like the entire place agrees unanimously on some basic ideals and will die before letting go of them.

I love it.

Volume 4 (AKA trauma train) moments that got me in the FEELS:

1) [when Hua Cheng is asked what his worst fear and THIS MAN RESPONDS WITH:]

“I’ll tell you what it is,” he said softly. “Watching your beloved be trampled and ridiculed with your own eyes and being unable to do a thing about it. You understand that you are nothing, that you can do nothing. That’s the worst suffering in the world.”

2) [the marriage "joke" and the moving in "joke"]

“Gege, want to get married?”

“...”

Xie Lian was struck dumb. “...Huh?”

__

“I’ve been wanting to ask,” Hua Cheng said. “If gege doesn’t feel secure living here, why not move somewhere else?”

Xie Lian shook his head. “That’s easy for you to say, San Lang. Where would I move?”

Hua Cheng smiled. “Why not move in with me?”

3) [no notes. Perfect moment]

Hua Cheng stared at him intently. “Gege, do you trust me?”

Xie Lian met his eyes and was equally firm in his response.

“I do.”

4) Xie Lian hiding a shirtless Hua Cheng from other officials so impulsively

5) [eyebrow raise moment]

Xie Lian patted Hua Cheng down to check for wounds, feeling up his chest, his arms, and all the way down his legs. But other than coming to the conclusion that Hua Cheng had a truly fine body, he made no notable finds.

6) [xie lians laugh at hua cheng]

“Gege, although I’m happy you’re so happy, is it really that funny?” Hua Cheng asked in a woeful tone.

Xie Lian hugged his belly as he laughed. “Of course! Only since meeting you have I rediscovered how simple it is to be happy, ha ha ha ha ha…”

7) [xie lian threatening hua with scariest punishment]

But Xie Lian threatened, “If you leave now, don’t ever come back to see me again.”

“...Your Highness!” Hua Cheng cried, shocked.

___

That's all. For now. We shall ignore everything else that happened in blackwater. Nothing happened. All is good. Trust.

Friendly reminder that gender, sexuality and your fashion sense absolutely do not have to reflect each other and are things IRRESPECTIVE OF EACH OTHER.

You can absolutely be comfortable with your she/her pronouns, with being a woman and still choose to have a masc presenting fashion sense. You can be completely cool with your assigned gender and still cross dress.

Feeling pretty? Floral? Gay? Hella boyish? Like a princess? A drag queen? A white swan or a black crow?

Go for it. Absolutely go for it!!

PS. If you are a minor and stuck in a rather unaccepting environment, please don't let go of yourself or your identity, but keep yourself safe. College will be better. Growing up will make this aspect easier. You will move out. Wait for the financial independence and then go for it!! <3

Reading volume 4 of Eighty Six and I cannot help but share the quotes/moments that bring me immense feels. Damn this angst. (In no particular order.)

1]

"You don't have to do this anymore. You have no sins to atone for. No one's condemning you, so please stop--stop trying to bear a cross that doesn't exist."

~Shin to Lena.

2]

"We wouldn't do something as pathetic as hanging ourselves just because our deaths were predetermined, nor would we sit idly by, counting the days until the end. If we have to die, we'll live each day without regrets-always smiling in the face of death. That was our one and only form of resistance. "

-Shin.

3]

"Leaving such things as they are even when you know they’re wrong is tantamount to supporting them."

-Lena.

LOUDER for people in the back 👏

4]

'“Those kids, they aren’t strong. They simply understood that they had to be strong to survive, and in the process of trying to become strong, they instead cut off anything that made them weak.”

It wasn’t that they weren’t hurt. It was that they hurt so much they had to cut off anything that allowed them to feel pain…?'

_________

In conclusion? I should have started reading this piece of art earlier. The LNs are amazing.

Pleading for my exam tomorrow to be cancelled. Can't study jackshit atp. My mind is cooked.

Well. Now to get more serious.

As an indian, this entire india-pak conflict has been enlightening about one thing- other countries don't give a jackshit. Nor does global. In the sense that, the pain india felt due to Pahalgam can never be translated to you.

Disclaimer: I do not hope for a war or escalation. I am just tired of seeing people talk about this stuff in black and white terms.

I am tired of entire narrative with this, "ahhh india attacked civillians!"

Civilian deaths are to be mourned. They shouldn't happen. I pray for their families but the attack was never targeting civilians- unlike what Pak did last night. Which I will get to shortly.

So, it was a calculated retaliation (on terrorist sites) to Pahalgam which was fucking horrific and bone chilling. The entire country was chilled.

And yes. Pahalgam is backed by Pakistan. It has been a pattern. Here is a video to get you started on this mess, entire history of kashmir conflict and what not. The history of terrorism. It has sources linked.

Let's get to last night now.

I live in the state adjacent to a border one. My hometown itself was one of the places which was rained by missiles. My family could hear the blasts, the crackling noise till 2 am. My baby cousin was crying scared. All was dark and the only light was of missiles.

Pakistan attacked civillian cities, alongside the ones with army bases. They did not give a fuck.

I don't know how it isn't clear what the country is trying to do already.

I am just so sick. Hoping no escalation happens. We don't need a war. No one does. But stop painting India in red. Pakistan isn't the victim. They haven't been from a while.

Final words? Asking the common citizens of both countries to stay safe.

idk man, the fact that skip and loafer cares to differentiate between attraction to someone because you like them as person, attraction as friend and attraction as lover feels pretty neat ngl. tell me another manga which does that?? you cant.

I was asked by a super extroverted person yesterday that "how do you write so much"

And like. I can't talk about my feelings. Physically. So i project them onto my characters like a sadist. That's how i write so much. It's not that girl in my book struggling with hyper-independency but me. Its not that boy mourning his loss of hope but me.

Surprise, its all me.