I Think I'd Look So Super Cute And Cozy In Your Bed

I don’t understand how people think it’s so hard to get a girlfriend. It’s easy, all you need to do is find a tgirl, call her cute, and then boom she has a crush on you. Ask her out and I can promise you she’ll be moaning your name by the end of the night

Can't decide whether it's funnier to say "my hungry ass could never work at a" and then say something that implies you're eating something truly grotesque or something that just, makes no sense

drinking soup and jumping around like slosh slosh slosh

whenever a post I make gets like ten notes my mind goes “this was a hit with the ladies!”

Reblog if you think it’s okay to platonically say “I Love You” to your friends

My journey thru my kid’s Paw Patrol phase via posts from my Bluesky account.

I liked this and then tumblr crashed

Be wary. I have strewn various traps around this post

vampires always like “i could kill you if I wanted” like? yeah? so could another human being. so could a dog. so could a dedicated duck. you arent special

Reblog if you think trans women:

A. Are women

B. Can be lesbians

Mutuals who I don't know very personally yet I am holding a sugarcube out in my hand in the hopes that you will approach me like the noble horse