Maybe In Another Universe I'm Not The Sick Girl.

hey if you're not a mobility aid user, and you want a simple way to make public spaces more accessible to those of us who are, i have a tip for you:

push in your chairs when you get up from tables.

when people don't push in their chairs, people with bulky aids like wheelchairs and rollators can't get through. also a lot of people who use canes have wider gaits than able bodied people, and having a chair in the middle of their walking path is a real obstruction. while some of us are able to push chairs out of our way, a lot of us are not, and wind up boxed in/out because somebody didn't push in their chair.

so if you want to do something simple that can make a big difference in terms of like. navigating an outdoor food court or a cafe or what have you. push in your chairs.

listen I ended up regretting saying anything about this on my old blog because people will interpret literally any and every statement maliciously on this hellsite but I want to start like. a helpline for people who are like “hey I pretty much only read YA but I’m like 22 now and don’t relate to teenagers as much, it’s such a shame that there are no fun books written for adults :(” because boy HOWDY are there some fun books for adults 

Happy (almost) Pride Month! Please consider getting some of the press on nails packaging supplies off my list bc I am already doing sets for folks and gearing up to sell at an arts festival!

I work full time but am recently multiply disabled, having a ton of appts and having to take intermittent medical leaves due to my health. Times are extra hard rn so I'm trying to supplement my income!

Support black creators, especially disabled lesbian ones!

Here's some of my work! 🖤🩷

Here are my paylinks and wishlist!

zlle: sailorsylvie@gmail.com

vnmo: Serena-Manning

pypal: sailorsylvie@gmail.com

cshapp: $sailorsylvie

HOME/MEDICAL/NAILS WISHLIST

It’s the not knowing when it’ll stop. The unpredictability. Wondering “will this ever get any better?” It’s the people close to you just accepting that this is how you are now. It’s the 24/7 nature of it all. It’s the not having a choice. It’s the not having a break from it. It’s the people around you thinking you chose this. As if you enjoy it. As if you actually chose this life. Nobody would ever choose this. It’s the having to play symptoms down. It’s having to pretend it isn’t as bad as what it is. It’s having people judge you, even the people closest to you. It’s having to live with symptoms that most people wouldn’t know how to even begin to cope with. It’s a lack of self confidence and self purpose. It’s staying hopeful when it doesn’t seem like there’s anything to be hopeful for. It’s a lot of things.

You might not feel it, but you’re one of the strongest people EVER. You put up an invisible fight daily. You do all that you can. You often survive second to second, minute to minute, hour to hour. You get through the day. You do your best no matter what obstacles are in your way. And it’s important to remember that even on the really bad days that you’re amazing. You’re strong. You’re tough. You’re fabulous. Lots of love xxxxxx

❤️❤️❤️

Someone once said to me, “I hope the pain eases soon.” It struck me as the purest blessing that had ever been offered over my head - I hope the pain eases soon. It’s so gentle, so kind, so hopeful. So to everyone who’s hurting: I see how hard you’re trying, and I hope your pain will ease soon.

Yes, I did it, but do you have any idea how hard it was? How much pain it caused me? How much it cost? How many hours I spent in tears? How much I screamed in pain? How long it took? How many nights I spent paralyzed with fear? How hard it was to drag myself along by my arms, desperately clawing for purchase after my legs could go no more? How it felt to grit my teeth and bite back the bile and blood threatening to spill from my mouth, as every nerve ending shot fire through my veins? How the dread and the despair and the grief weighed me down until it felt like I was being crushed under the weight? Do you have any idea what it's taken from me?

But you shrug, and brush it off. "But you did it, didn't you? So it's fine."

"But you did it, didn't you? So clearly you didn't need help."

"But you did it, didn't you? So it obviously wasn't as hard as you were making it out to be."

"But you did it, didn't you? So you can do it again."

schizophrenia is not just experiencing positive symptoms (hallucinations and delusions). a lot of schizophrenics are neurodivergent in other ways. this focus on the positive symptoms is a villainious way to gatekeep us from neurodivergent spaces because our positive symptoms are typically portrayed as "scary".

our negative symptoms (flat effect, being withdrawn, avolition and anhedonia) are skewed to portray us as "evil" because we're not "emotive" or "caring" enough. schizospec disorders make everyday activities so hard. basic hygiene isn't a habit, we have little to no motivation to do basic things, the lack of happiness and pleasure can turn into severe depression for some of us and that's why depressive and bipolar schizoaffectives exist. people don't grasp the fact that schizophrenia is a disability.

i've personally experienced a lot of cruelty from other neurodivergent people because there is little to no education on schizospec disorders even within neurodivergent spaces. we're seen as inherently morally reprehensible for our disorder and people are so casually ableist to us. i'm not able to speak up for myself in these spaces because i feel like there is no where else i can go. neurotypicals are cruel to schizophrenics but so are other neurodivergent people. people need to have more care and love for schizophrenics.

yes that includes schizophrenics with little to no empathy, schizophrenics of color, trans schizophrenics, gay schizophrenics, schizophrenic systems, autistic schizophrenics, schizophrenics with adhd, fat schizophrenics, poor schizophrenics, homeless schizophrenics, schizophrenic sex workers, schizophrenics who've experienced abuse, schizophrenics with ocd, schizophrenics with ptsd/cptsd, schizophrenic children and teens, elderly schizophrenics, schizophrenics who are also physically disabled, all schizophrenics.

all schizophrenics deserve love.

you will live and you will say the wrong things and make mistakes and people will love you anyways.