Girlish-in-pain - Maja

Okey, the Russian performance has the exact level of batshit insane I’m here for. 12 points

Witch Of The Ocean Deep’s Teensy Giveaway!

Hello, everyone! In order to give back, I’m hosting a little sea-witch-y giveaway in time for Samhain! Everything in it is super small so I thought this would be really fun. 

This includes: 

Little Book of Crystals

Witchy Kidrobot Enamel Pin

Moon Phases Patch (also could be used as a bookmark)

Four White Scalloped Seashells

Three Pretty Pointy Seashells

One Tumbled Rose Quartz

One Tumbled Amethyst

One Raw Amethyst

One Broken-Off Piece of a Sand Dollar

Three Raw Black Tourmaline

Two Clear Quartz

Two Pieces of Sea Glass

Three Lovely Sea-Toned Rocks

One Blue Wire-Wrapped Pendulum

Four Tiny Jars

One Small Jar of 100% Pure Bee Pollen (If you have any allergies to bees, please research this product before use in spells and do not ingest. Using gloves would be a good idea.)

Here’s the rules!

You must be following me.

No giveaway blogs, please.

Only 16 years and up. Any minors need their parent’s permission first!

You must be comfortable with giving me your name and address. 

Only reblogs count.  Do not tag this as ‘giveaway’.

Type 110808 in the tags so I know you read the rules.

If you have a bee allergy, re-read the italics.

Have fun! 

I will contact the winner on Samhain or October 31st! Good luck, everyone! 

Disabled trans guy escaping abuse

Hi friends! I'll try to keep this short (long version under the cut), but I need help. I may be getting into a housing program soon, made the mistake of telling my parents, and today they've been manipulating me trying to get me to stay. There's a long history of abuse, neglect, transphobia, and ableism - mainly on my dad's part.

I have $24 in my bank account. I can't drive, can't work, and am severely disabled. My mom wants me to make her and my father into healthcare proxies. When I was younger, my dad threatened me with institutionalization and conservatorship. I'm scared for my safety.

I just need some help. I'll apply for assistance when I qualify. I'm gonna need an emotional support animal. I don't know if I'll get the apt yet but see the cut for an explanation.

Venmo: julesfairy

I don't know what goal to set so I'll update this post when I can. Reblogs help a lot, if anything for knowing I'm not alone.

Long version: I'm 23, mentally ill/disabled, have no income, $24 in my bank account, live with my abusive father, and my parents refuse to call me my name/pronouns/etc. I also just left a cult-like group and found out I have a shit ton of nerve damage all over my body. So I'm having a time!

Anyway. I mistakenly told them that I've applied for a housing program and may be getting into a 1 bedroom apartment. They do not want me to leave, and today lovebombed, gaslit, and otherwise manipulated me into staying.

WHY I'M MAKING THIS POST NOW:

They know I'm meeting with the case worker tomorrow.

I don't know how they're going to react once they realize I'm going through with this. I'm worried about my father's reaction specifically - In the past, he's threatened to kick me out, kill himself, throw me in the psych ward, or put me under conservatorship. My mom just told me she wants me to make her and my father my healthcare proxy.

If I get this apartment, I'm going to apply for SNAP and Temporary Assistance as soon as I qualify, and rely on food banks. But if anyone can spare some cash, that'd help a lot too. I just need some help, I'm desperate. I don't know if I can take another failed escape.

pain and suffering are not things you earn or deserve. they’re just things that happen, often with no rhyme or reason.

you do not deserve to be in pain.

you do not deserve to suffer.

I hope your pain subsides, and that you find good pain management strategies. and I hope you treat yourself with the kindness and compassion that you do deserve

{let’s keep trying} {we’ll get through this}

'BUTCH MANIFESTO'

inspired by 'FEMME SHARK MANIFESTO' by Leah Lakshmi Piepzna-Samarasinha

(ID under cut)

Ko-Fi (Commissions Open!)

[ID: an original poem titled 'BUTCH MANIFESTO'. the stanzas are all on the left side of the page and lineated, except for the first line, and last stanza. Poem begins:

Listen up! Butches hold it down! We don’t spend hundreds of pounds on designer clothes and black and white tuxes – we shop off the charity shop rack, hand-me-downs from our bois, our men, our women. Butch is not a glamour word - Butch is not for the white collars in their 9-5 and their office parties, Butch is not for the woman in a police uniform with short cropped hair, Butch is not for the masc who looks down on our femmes, Butch is not for the dumbass white people who call themselves stud, like our people haven’t taken enough from black lesbians, Butch is not for the politician or the soldier, it’s for those of us who get shit done and don’t throw anyone under the bus; who stand between our loved ones and the white-knuckled fist; it’s for the people who take a breath of relief when they get home and get to lay their head on the shoulder of their baby and say, it’s hard, and I need you right now; it’s for those of us with hard-soled feet, worn by hours of standing, just so people can buy some useless shit on a Sunday. Butch is for the primary school teachers, the neighbour keeping your package safe, the hairstylist, the barber, the youth worker, the locked up, the sectioned, the evicted, the boy on the dole. Butches hold each other up, Butches stand up for communities, no matter how different we might be.

Butches stand up for Butches, because only we know the shit we face, we don’t argue over what butch looks like for someone - their struggle doesn’t counteract ours. We’re brothers, sisters, siblings, lovers, mentors, we don’t fight over femmes or fight each other. We help up our siblings who can’t hold themselves up and shouldn’t have to.

Butch is recognising our hurt, our pain, and making sure nobody has to go through that, in the very least not alone. Butch is not reproducing that hurt, butch isn’t the transfem exclusion, the toxicity, it’s driving our girls and boys to the abortion clinic, it’s holding your femme’s hair back over the toilet bowl, it’s telling your darlin’ to take a deep breath, before you poke the needle into her thigh, it’s holding back on punching the catcaller because you know it’ll put your lover in more danger, it’s fishing in your closet for an old, dusty dress for your questioning girl, it’s never calling the cops, it’s carrying the Narcan, it’s gathering the funds for bail, it’s tipping the waiter, it’s kissing the bruised chin of a fellow butch who’s built like a brick shithouse.

Butch is not all muscle, able-bodied, white Butch is not all skinny and androgynous Butch is care Butch is NURTURE. Butch is a cane and an unsteady step Butch is putting down the ramp Butch is wheeling up it Butch is addict Butch is straight-edge Butch is diaspora Butch is desi Butch is antiracist Butch is socialist Butch is punk Butch is black Butch is brown Butch is fat Butch is fat-loving Butch is mental illness Butch is antipsych Butch is autism Butch is trans Butch is anger Butch is tears Butch is grief Butch is the old bull Butch is the closeted kid in a dress Butch is the baby dyke wearing a rainbow flag cape Butch is smile lines Butch is crinkled eyes Butch is crying in your friend’s beat-up car Butch is foetal position Butch is pink Butch is motherhood Butch is fatherhood Butch is cat-dad Butch is fucking Butch is getting fucked Butch is stone Butch is bashful Butch is humble Butch is cocky Butch is proud Butch is single Butch is uneducated Butch is poet Butch is poetry Butch is council estate Butch is gentleness Butch is bones and spit and the soft curve of our lower backs the clenched jaw under a double chin the hard-eyes that any femme can see right through the estradiol the testosterone the carabiner clink the thick hands the cellulite the bloody pads the tampon string the mood swings the sagging tits the top surgery scars the swinging cock the hairy pussy the protruding t-dick the leather harness.

Butch is eternity Butch is sewn into the fabric of atoms Butch is love and solidarity Butch is never leaving anyone behind and never selling anyone out.

End poem. In the bottom right corner, the poet is signed as 'Ren H.' End ID].

Babygirl my brain is creating so many physical aches unexplainable by modern medicine

i know this won't be available everywhere, but especially if you live in a larger city where a lot of folks are affected by opioid use/addiction, it's a really good idea to ask local pharmacies, and even food banks if they are giving out free narcan (naloxone). this can also be found at certain behavioral health offices as well, my case manager is able to get them for me for free. narcan is a life saving medication that can temporarily halt an opioid (oxycodone, hydrocodone, heroin, fentanyl, codeine, morphine, etc.) overdose while you wait for emergency medical services to arrive.

opioid overdose is distress of the respiratory system, meaning that the person overdosing likely is struggling to, or can't breathe at all. it's very important to watch to see if the person is dealing with labored or shallow breathing.

here the official use guide:

[Image ID start: Two screenshots from the FDA's Narcan (Naloxone HCl) Quick Start Guide infographic. It reads:

"Narcan (Naloxone HCl) Nasal spray quick start guide. Opioid Overdose Response Instructions.

Use NARCAN Nasal Spray (naloxone hydrochloride) for known or suspected opioid overdose in adults and children.

Important: For use in the nose only.

Do not remove or test the NARCAN Nasal Spray until ready to use.

1.) Identify Opioid Overdose and Check for Response Ask the person if they are okay and shout name.

Shake shoulders firmly and rub the middle of their chest.

Check for signs of Opioid Overdose:

Will not wake up or respond to your voice or touch

Breathing is very slow, irregular, or has stopped

Center part of their eye is very small, sometimes called "pinpoint pupils".

Lay the person on their back to receive a dose of NARCAN nasal spray.

2.) Give NARCAN nasal spray

Remove NARCAN nasal spray from the box. Peel back the tab with the circle to open the NARCAN nasal spray.

Hold the NARCAN nasal spray with your thumb at the bottom of the plunger and your first and middle fingers on either side of the nozzle.

Gently insert the tip of the nozzle into either nostril.

Tilt the person's head back and provide support under the neck with your hand. Gently insert the tip of the nozzel into one nostril, until your fingers on either side of the nozzle are against the bottom of the person's nose.

Press the plunger firmly to give the dose of NARCAN nasal spray.

Remove the NARCAN Nasal Spray from the nostril after giving the dose.

3.) Call for emergency medical help, Evaluate, and Support

Get emergency medical help right away.

Move the person on their side (recovery position) after giving NARCAN Nasal Spray

Watch the person closely.

If the person does not respond by waking up, to voice or touch, or breathing normally another dose may be given. NARCAN Nasal Spray may be dosed every 2 - 3 minutes, if available.

Repeat Step 2 using a new NARCAN Nasal Spray to give another dose in the other nostril. If additional NARCAN Nasal Sprays are available, repeat step 2 every 2 to 3 minutes until he person responds or emergency medical help is received.

For more information about NARCAN Nasal Spray go to www.narcannasalspray.com, or call 1-844-4NARCAN (1-844-462-7226)."

End image ID.]

I recently went on a touristy vacation where I knew we were going to be walking a lot so I brought the cane I have with me. Mind you it was a 3ish week long vacation in a foreign country. I had bought a cane maybe a year before even though my doctor didn't think I needed it because "you could just sit down or not walk for long distances instead" and "you're too young to use a cane". So naturally I ignored her and followed my disabled friend's advice instead and bought a cane. But I barely used it because I got in my own head about not reaaally needing it and other internalised ableism stuff. Also people staring didn't help.

Fast forward to the vacation where I used it religiously. And it helped soo much! I noticed I could walk farther and walk for more days in a row, because my pain levels were lower. It helped so much that I could no longer justify not using it to myself.

Now it's 6 weeks later and I use my cane everyday.

Can't believe it took me 8 years to realise that the random pain I get in half of my face for a couple of days to a week every other month is a migraine...

I always thought it didn't matter bc it's not every day like my fibro pain