E In Mezzo A Questo Mare

i'm so attracted to emotional intelligence like damn the way you actually listen and communicate turns me on

Guess who’s gonna bossing out this year.

Do androids dream of electric sheep?, Philip K. Dick

Happy Sanremo week to those who celebrate it and to those who fear it

I'm knitting in the corner at a party

and guys my age stop by to tell me I remind them of their aunt, of their grandmother. This is a compliment and I take it as such. They confess to having tried crochet once, and I smile. They get back in line for the bathroom.

I'm knitting in the corner at a party and a queer woman sits on the floor next to me, arranges her skirt, and smiles up at me. (I try not to blush.) She asks me all the questions on her mind about my craft and I answer them, hands still moving. We swap yarn sources. She doesn't stay, but she knows where to find me.

I'm knitting in the corner at a party and everyone knows where to find me when they need a minute, when socializing is too much and the music is too loud and they need to catch their breath. They pretend to be checking in on me, which is sweet, but I can see the relief in their eyes the moment they stop performing for a house full of people. They sit down and tell me things and all the while they never take their eyes off my hands.

The party has wound down and I'm still knitting and the hosts, two guys in their twenties, thank me for "helping to curate the vibe." I had no idea that's what I was doing. I leave the party having forgotten to drink anything and without that woman's number but with many rows added to my top-down raglan sweater. I call it a night, and a good one.

18/01/2025

It’s always interesting how, whenever I prepare an exam, my mind is always curious and needs to know more about the topic i’m studying. Am I studying literature? I wanna know more about that specific author and what they wrote. Am I studying anthropology? I wanna read an essay about a specific culture or the impact that some things have on society.

Right now I’m preparing a linguistic exam and the first thing I did yesterday when I entered into the library is borrowing a book about sociolinguistic, even though for me studying linguistic is a pain in the ass; but, despite that, I still wanna know how the use of language is correlated to gender, provenance or even social class.

Studying at uni is not easy. There have been times where i just wanted to give up, and sometimes I still wanna do it, not because I’m not good enough, but because of the amount of exams I still have to prepare.

Studying at uni is not easy, but then I force myself to do it and I rediscover the beauty of what I’m studying, I fall in love with the exam I’m preparing.

What I understood today is that there are some subjects that, even though are hard to deal with, they worth the studying, they worth the love. They worth the patience.

Linguistic is my odi et amo, something that makes me lose hope most of the times but also makes me wonder. And sometimes you need to stick with these specific subjects, even though they’re not easy to understand. Sometimes you need to stick with those specific sparks these subjects give you, protect them and find in them the reason to keep going and reach your goals.

It’s absurd how sometimes a little bit of sun is enough to be happy.