(This Is All A Joke)

Baby

My favorite thing I’ve seen is AUs where characters are trans and nothing changes and nobody knows until they accidentally have to lore dump and they’re fine with it bc they lowkey assume these people close to them know they’re trans and everyone’s like??????? HUH? Since when

Anyway support my trans!Dick Grayson headcanons bc fuck you i can

- Dick told his parents he was a boy at like age 3 and they were like… fuck it sure.. we’ll pick you a new name

-John Grayson then despairs bc his brother then gleefully informs him that John promised to name their first boy after him bc he lost a bet. Mary thinks it’s too funny to not go along with

-3 Yro Dick has a lisp and can’t pronounce his own name and finds out Dick is a nickname and proceeds to immediately go by it and yell at anyone who doesn’t use his new name

- Kid has no documents and grew up in a circus so when he ends up in Gotham. There are literally no issues at all.

- Bruce adopts him as Richard John Grayson and is none the wiser about anything

-Alfred is the first one to find out when at 11 Dick freaks out and thinks he’s hemorrhaging in the bathroom bc he’s bleeding. Cue realization moment! Followed by many many many awkward questions and Alfred being awesome assumes his grandson is stealth and maybe doesn’t want anyone including Bruce to know so he takes over every and Dick gets the medications he needs with no issue

- second person to realize is Roy bc they’re messing around btw (Dick did not inform him of this before, Roy is 100% Cool with it and goes… damn okay…anyway bc he’s chill like that)

-now about 700 new bats have happened and Dick is nightwing and literally the only people who know anything at all are his current/previous partners and Alfred

And shenanigans ensue with Jason catches Dick injecting something…while he has no injuries… no nothing

Now Jason freaks ofc bc??? DICK WHAT ARE YOU DOING? Listen he might hate all of them but he is VERY MUCH not okay losing another relative to addiction wtf he’s not having a panic attack fuck you

Anyway

Dick just goes “Jason calm down it’s just my t-shot” and Jason who definitely didn’t jump to conclusions bc he’s sleep deprived and has a 16 hour run in with fear toxin is like

“What the fuck is that?? Is that something new on the street what’s happening dick? Are you doing untested Shit?

And Dick who has had to DEAL with Jason during 16 hours of fear toxin induced terror, as well as the rest of the family and would really like to go chill days in front of many of his family members: testosterone Jason. Bc I’m trans

To which everyone is confused

Dick is too tired to realize this and goes the fuck to bed

Bruce then panics bc “wait what if he wasn’t that accepting when Dick was younger and that’s why Dick didn’t ever come out? What did he do that made his son feel like he couldn’t talk to Bruce about it”

Tim is annoyed bc he is supposed to know things and now he owes Bernard money bc they had an argument over which letter each batfam member corresponds to

This is based off that one supernatural fic where somehow Sam was oblivious to his brother being trans anyway

Question?

We talk about how Tim, Jason and Damian’s parents raised them pre Bruce but why don’t we talk about Dick Graysons.

Bc even before all of the court of the owls shit the way that man was raised was wild.

So remember Dick was a member and active participant of a circus as a child. A trapeze act without a net who was expected to pull his weight since he could walk.

That means that despite what everyone thinks John and Mary Grayson absolutely could not afford to gentle parent their child.

At all.

Dick had to know how dangerous his life was forever. He has to be perfect because if he fails him or his parents die. They die with a mistake. Don’t stretch your hand out far enough and someone falls.

And despite the fact that the Romani aspect of his character was born out of a writers need for fetish content. I still find it interesting to explore.

And since I am European! Halys circus truther

It gets more interesting because the anti-Romani sentiment in Europe is vile, obvious and violent. (And I say this as a poc who grew up outside of Europe and moved here for college. Like you’d never imagine the type of shit they say about a group of people with no shame before turning around and commenting about how crazy it is that poc are treated poorly in the rest of the world.) Now imagine your child is working a dangerous gig while being part of a hated minority and you have to go and advertise your whole families location because you are the centerpiece of a show.

Yall think Mary and John Grayson didn’t teach their kid to lie? To fit in with any group humanly possible.

You think Mary and John didn’t teach dick to switch from, mama to mom to Daj. To switch accents and tones and languages since before he could walk on his hands?

You think that this kid who grew up traveling everywhere wouldn’t know how to integrate himself so fully into the society he’s in that he’s invisible as an outsider?

When Dick talks to Bruce in Juvie right before hes taken in as a ward he has an American accent. A Gotham accent and not the ones the other kids has no Dick has a Bristol accent. When he first meets Alfred he has a charming softly British accent, the kind that isn’t immediately noticeable unless you share the accent. The softening of the vowels and heavy central consonants. Think kids who went to British schools abroad and learned English from people with British accents.

Bruce notices this but doesn’t think much of it I mean kids can adapt to their environments startlingly quick maybe the kid just kinda picks up accents.

But then Dick becomes robin and he’s horrifically good at it from the get go.

Which sends alarm bells in Alfred’s head because he raised Bruce at that age. He taught Bruce to defend himself at that age. Bruce wouldn’t be about to do 1/10 of what this kid can do.

No eight year old should be able to throw items with that sort of precision even a child as good at gymnastics as dick. No child should be that comfortable with a knife in his hand.

And of course dick always had an excuse, he grew up around fire breathers and knife throwers of course he’s good.

And Bruce notices when Dick goes out as Robin and begins to help people because for the first few months, he never speaks first.

He’ll save someone and when they thank him, he’ll reply in their exact accent.

The crime alley rougher tones

The high class smarmy Bristol accent

The open vowel Jersey accent

When he meets Superman there’s the barest edges of midwestern twang in his every word.

And it’s just unnerving

He flickers between cultures like their clothes in his wardrobe, accents like they’re a new set of perfectly fit shoes.

He’s just good at it.

And it’s a game to him.

He sees how close he can get to your accent without coming off as suspicious.

By the time he’s being doing the Robin shtick for a while and knows the areas he just immediately switches to the most common accent there even if there aren’t any people around.

His facial expressions and hand gestures change as well.

It adds to the myth of the Batman because the gcpd for a long while believes any Robin reportings to be a myth because one minute someone is reporting a Jersey accent the next genial Californian, or a tv safe reporter tone, one minute the kid is conversing in perfect Russian the next he’s speaking Spanish like he grew up in Mexico.

When he wants to get away with a mistake his voice switches to one indistinguishable from a scared child, with a mild stutter, overgramarization and the scared world slurring children do that makes your heart soft

When he wants people to listen to him his he’s eloquent and enunciating perfectly. He sounds far older than his years.

And everyone thinks they’re hearing the real Dick Grayson speak and it makes their hearts happy because look at how he puts on a show for everyone but trusts me enough to talk without lying.

Without ever realizing that they’re one of the people watching the show.

Canon

Next fic: bodyswap

Jason: *in Dick‘s body*

Jason: I feel awful. What is wrong with your body???

Tim: *absolutely obliterating a punching bag in Jason‘s body*

Dick: *looks affronted at Jason in his body*

Dick: My body is fine! What do you mean??? You aren‘t the one who needs to consume an unholy amount of caffeine to function!

Jason: I feel like someone is about to push me off a fucking cliff, Dickhead.

Dick: *grins suddenly*

Dick: Ohhhh. Lemme fix that for you, Little Wing.

Dick: *walks up to Jason and hugs him tightly*

Jason: *relaxes before tensing up*

Jason: WAIT. YOU NEED HUGS TO FUNCTION?!?!

(Next fic is in the works! o7 It isn’t the one I had originally planned cuz my brain went brrr. Have a good one, my lovely birdwatchers! <3)

((Edit: https://archiveofourown.org/works/59545189/chapters/151862587 ))

i know its been 5 plus years and enough people have talked about this enough but i cannot physically refrain from clawing my eyes out every time i come across this panel. Truly one of the most ridiculous things tom king has ever written (and the list is huge). Like why is this character who is almost in his thirties comparing himself to his brothers who are atleast 5 to 12 years younger than him? Of all the things he could have an identity crisis about they actually made him lose his mind over what type of robin am I? Not parents dying in front of a whole ass audience or withstanding the demands of being the perfect soldier in batman's crusade or having to put up with the pressure of being a leader other heroes look up to or his friends and family dying all the time, and man i could go on and on. I assure you he is not losing any sleep over where he stands with a bunch of people he cares for very deeply and ultimately thinks of as kids.

In honor of thanksgiving (which is where you give people thank you notes? Idk I’m not American)

What each Batkid is thankful for this year

Dick: Donna Troy being alive and the fact that Bruce was mind controlled and Dick got to punch him

Jason: saw Dick punch Batman

Tim: his very heathy, very cute relationship

Damian: he finally got to replace all the colors on the Robin suit, black, gray and orange it is!

Steph: saw Dick punch Batman

Cass: fought wonder woman

Duke: his mom isn’t insane anymore

Or

Dick: punched Bruce

Jay: saw Dick punch Bruce

Tim: Recorded it

Damian: pretended he didn’t see it

Steph: posted video on clock app and made t-shirts

Cass: did not like Dick punching Bruce

Duke: reposted Steph’s TikTok

Listen my moms Muslim my dads Christian I was raised agnostic but still it doesn’t matter everyone can use the capitalist holiday to eat a fuck ton of food and day drink

Merry winter time

some of y'all fundamentally misunderstand my favorite characters but im being sooooo normal and mature about it. i haven't even killed anyone yet

friend: so i heard you like batman

me:

me: are you sure you’re ready for this conversation

Dick gets equally excited helping Superman with any hero and helping Gotham take down mind controlled Batman

And

He equally dreads working with Bruce on a case in Gotham and getting punched in the face by mind controlled Superman

Bruce is 100% the favorite tho he’s like a lil loser cat whose a gremlin and ruins everything u own and or will own or make but he’s my babbyyyy guys