This Is So Funny

new rule you have to live to be 34. you cant kill yourself until you turn 34. jesus died at 33 you can do better

yeah golden retreiver boyfriends are great and I've met several personally, but personally I have a house cat boyfriend

extremely affectionate despite of seeming aloof and politely distant to unfamiliar people

my friends have seen him irl less than 5 times in the five years I've had him - if I invited people over he would hide under furniture until they're gone

haha you got up from your work desk, time for unskippable 35 minutes of kisses and cuddles

can and will throw up out of sheer anxiety because Things And Events Are Happening that do not even involve him in any way

can instinctively sense exactly when I am going to decide I'm done bedrotting and will climb on top of me to cuddle exactly 3 minutes before I was just about to get up

can be placed sideways on any soft surface at any time of the day and immediately takes a five hour nap

cannot eat or drink in unfamilair places. can and will go 16 hours without food or water if the situation is uncomfy.

unhelpful but valiant efforts to try to protect and rescue you from things and situations that he would personally hate being in, out of not understanding of Why Are You In There Voluntarily

will come show me incomprehensible memes the same way a cat will bring you a random bug. thank you. I do not understand it but I know you brought it to me because you love me.

"Among other things, you'll find that you're not the first person who was ever confused and frightened and even sickened by human behavior. You're by no means alone on that score."

The urge to send this to my partner immediately

I am fueled by Melina in the beginning of Eldenring saying „Don‘t worry, Torrent. Fortune is on her side.“

u survive literally every single event in your life & still every time a new event happens you feel like this is the event that will kill you and that you will never move on from but actually you will continue to survive like you always have bc u have a 100% win rate of surviving events. btw

Yoooo i love this

pt. 31

THERE IS NO DELTARUNE

THERE IS NO SILKSONG

AND THERE IS NO QUEEN OF ENGLAND

It's Eugene

Flora sketch 🍎

I watched 'Knockin' on Heaven's Door'. I found it a refreshing, energetic, yet fragile film.