Tw; Intox, Fauxcest, Grooming(?)

tw; intox, fauxcest, grooming(?)

it starts when you turn 18. maybe you've had friends whose parents smoke, never anything worse than a cigarette around you and your friends, but their home still has that skunky smell to it.

the same skunky smell that lingers on your brother's clothes. nothing washes it out, so stained in the very fibers of the fabric that it's ingrained in your brother's presence. so very him in a comforting way that makes your stomach tingle with warmth. you're not sure why.

he smokes in his room, and now that you're 18, whenever you're together. at first, you don't ask when he pulls a joint from a metal tube stashed in the top drawer of his desk and sparks it right in front of you. he doesn't bother to offer you a hit, either. he'd feel guilty about corrupting his little brother. and then you get used to the smell, and it becomes your smell, too, no longer just your brother's. he smokes regularly, you've found, because whenever he's in his room, there's a joint in his hand.

one day, you wander into his room without knocking to find your older brother seated at his desk, smoking as usual. it's not like you've never been curious about it because whenever he smokes, you feel a little lighter - a contact high. so you walk over to him, standing beside his desk for a second to just watch.

"need somethin'?" he asks, his joint half-smoked and dangling from his lips, his eyes briefly flickering to you.

"can... can i try?" you point to said joint. he looks really good smoking, you find. maybe you will, too.

"hm?" he glances at the dangling fire hazard, high but not enough to be unaware. "oh, sure."

you're confused when he pauses his game and grabs you by the back of the neck, his free hand securing the spliff as he takes a long drag, only to press his fingers just behind your jaw, forcing your mouth open like a dog. it all makes sense when he brings you closer with that grip, and blows the smoke out into your mouth until it's all gone. you inhale, a fast learner, but it's a lot for a new smoker. why do your boxers feel wetter than before?

he watches you cough, your cheeks turning red and your eyes tearing up, with a slightly sadistic smile. a smile that only widens when you recover and say, "can we do that again?"