my grubhub being delivered by a wizard or some sort of apostle
The “getting it done in an unconventional way” method.
The “it’s not cheating to do it the easy way” method.
The “fuck what you’re supposed to do” method.
The “get stuff done while you wait” method.
The “you don’t have to do everything at once” method.
The “it doesn’t have to be permanent to be helpful” method.
The “break the task into smaller steps” method.
The “treat yourself like a pet” method.
The “it doesn’t have to be all or nothing” method.
The “put on a persona” method.
The “act like you’re filming a tutorial” method.
The “you don’t have to do it perfectly” method.
The “wait for a trigger” method.
The “do it for your future self” method.
The “might as well” method.
The “when self discipline doesn’t cut it” method.
The “taking care of yourself to take care of your pet” method.
The “make it easy” method.
The “junebugging” method.
The “just show up” method.
The “accept when you need help” method.
The “make it into a game” method.
The “everything worth doing is worth doing poorly” method.
The “trick yourself” method.
The “break it into even smaller steps” method.
The “let go of should” method.
The “your body is an animal you have to take care of” method.
The “fork theory” method.
The “effectivity over aesthetics” method.
Fordtastic Beasts and Where to Find Them
For @forduary week 2- College and Researcher years.
Neither me or my persona are scientists or doctors or have any reason to wear a lab coat but. I think they're cool so.
I always see people talk about how cool becoming a cyborg would be, replacing parts of our flesh with metal and pistons and cool gadgets.
Why don't we talk more about the horror that is the opposite of that?
A computer who grafts lab-grown skin in patches onto their own form to feel. To experience a gentle and cool breeze passing by, or the oppressive sweat-inducing heat that their systems produce.
A robot with an organic eye to help them see as their creators once did. Imperfect, sure. But it seems to have quite an uneasy effect on organics, and doesn't that make it more than worth it?
A machine with blood coursing through its systems, flowing through the central chambers, in and out of its beating heart. Perhaps if the heart holds up, it could add lungs to help circulation.
A being that resembles a man at a distance, but upon closer inspection it is clear that he is instead a cacophony of skin, mismatched body parts and features, with just a few robotic limbs and mechanical parts visible. It smiles at you, the wide grin revealing that none of its teeth match.
He lurches toward you, hair from at least three different scalps falling carefree in front of its shoulders. You take a step back.
Where is the line drawn between cyborg and robot with human parts? Do you know? Does it know? Does anyone know?
It gets closer. You continue to retreat. Your back brushes against a wall.
You don't know where that line is, you've decided, but you're positive this individual has crossed it.
Having cornered you, it reaches its mechanical hand out, fingernails grafted on the metal tips. You blink, locked completely still from fear for just a few moments. It angles his hand in invitation. He wants you to take it. You hesitantly accept.
Under the metal you can feel . . . something, flowing, pulsing just beneath the surface wanting to escape. It's warm.
"Wh.. what do you want?" You manage to sputter out.
The being shakes your hand, his smile returning. "A friend," it replies.
Ever think about how Bill Cipher has canonically threatened every member of the Pines family, except Stanley, with suicide? I think about that a lot... Kid's show villain everyone!
Individual Panels below the cut!
BOOK OF BILL
"Hide it under shirt during pledge of allegiance"
PINES
"A good family tree"
STANFORD PINES
His 18 y/o medical report
STANLEY PINES
Ebay page for brass knuckles
BABBA
Full recording of Dipper singing
WEIRDMAGEDDON
News article from after the fact
BILL CIPHER
Wikipedia page for 'triangle'
HECTORING
Church meeting recording
WADDLES
Pig adoption page
TRIANGLE
")"
"Tri harder"
MYSTERY SHACK
Google page for 'Confusion Hill'
GRAVITY FALLS
"Never heard of it"
DISNEY
"rat.gif censored for your protection"
T.J. ECKLEBURG
"Never mention that name again"
DEATH
"Life's goth cousin"
LIFE
"Life 72% complete. Now loading: Death"
SKELETON
"The one with the sword! He found you!"
WENDY
A note from Wendy about warding off evil triangles
ROBBIE
Thompson and Robbie's messages about summoning bill
MONSTER
Google search for "THERES A MONSTER AT THE END OF THIS BOOK"
SOOS
Soos's message about life at the mystery shack
PINATA
A video of a bill cipher pinata getting beat up
MCGUCKET
Link to youtube video of "Rednex - Cotton Eye Joe"
MABEL
Adds stickers to the page until it reads "Lab now fully mabelised"
DIPPER
A note from bill telling Dipper to stare at the sun
TAD STRANGE
An oddly sexual video of bread
LOVE
A romance novel called "The Love Triangle" with an audio recording of the first chapter
CIPHER
Wikipedia page for "Eye of Providence"
TOBY DETERMINED
Google page for "Restraining order"
GIDEON
Google page for "Sweat resistant bolo ties"
QUESTION
"Answer"
MYSTERY
"?"
Any swear word
"Not S&P Approved" notice
PORTAL
"Portal.exe has been deleted. I bet you could build one"
GUN
"Oh yes oh yes they both"
SEASON 1
"Season -1: Antigravity falls"
SEASON 2
"Season 1"
SEASON 3
"Season 2"
DEER TEETH
"For you, kid!"
BLIND EYE
A faux eye test page filled with codes that someone smarter than me need to decode
FILBRICK
"I'm not impressed"
BLENDIN
"Time agent lost and presumed incompetent"
JOURNAL 1
"The journal of fun"
JOURNAL 2
"The journal for you"
JOURNAL 3
"The journal for me"
ALEX HIRSCH
Google page for "Flannel"
GOD/FRILLIAM
Video of an axolotl swimming in front of a Bill statue
AXOLOTL
"You ask alotl questions"
WEIRD
A video of Weird Al stuck inside the computer
TITAN'S BLOOD
"Hoot. Hoot. Password please!"
BAAAA
A poem about a shepherd
SUCK IT MERLIN
Art labelled "The Bastard Triangle Cuts the Unicorns Hair" 1499
BABY
An ultrasound of baby Bill
MASON
Dipper's note to ford on anagrams
CRYPTOGRAM CODEX
Downloads a zip file containing fonts of codes and runes
I'M STILL ON YOUR MIND
A video of Stan and Ford on the Stan O' War II, with a colour block code
SORRY
The full image of Ford and Fiddleford at collage
FBI/CIA
Your webcam is on. We are watching."
DUCKTECTIVE
"Ducktective stars in 'Love, Quacktually' coming to 'Oi, it's the Cockney Channel innit?' this fall"
EVEN HIS LEGS ARE LIES
A note from Bill about Fords place as a perfect pawn
DIVORCE
"O' SADLEYS" Logo
SEVEN EYES
Image of the oracle with a warning on the back
R34LITY
Images of Bill and his henchmen in the real world, message reading "They found a new home"
BLANCHIN
Youtube tutorial on how to blanch vegetables
PACIFICA
A note from Pacifica about what a loser Bill is
PLATINUM PAZ
A story of how Bill tried to enlist Pacifica to steal the time rift before turning to Blendin
EUCLYDIA
"Dimension not found"
SCALENE/EUCLID
"Life form not found"
IRREGULAR
Bill's mug shots
LOVE YA BRO
Drawing of Stan catching a mermaid
XYLER
Youtube link to Jem and the Holograms theme
UNIVERSE
"Hologram"
HOLOGRAM
"Universe"
NOTHING
"Something"
SOMETHING
"Nothing"
HORROR
Urban legend story of the 'Always Garden' a restaurant you cant leave
MATPAT
A video of Matpat tell us were on our own T-T
ONE EYED KING
A hypnosis video with Bill audio convincing you to pledge your soul to him
CURSE WITTEBANE
A Bill Cipher ouija board
BURNSIDE
"Burned inside"
EVEN HIS LIES ARE LIES
A snippet of Bill's therapy sessions talking of what ford was to him
WELL WELL WELL BEING
"Patient file: Bill Cipher. Greatest love: Himself. Greatest fear: Himself"
"Art therapy notes: All he draws are red and blue triangles"
"Patient's odd phobias: 3D Glasses. Venetian blinds. TV static."
JUST FIT IN
An old game commercial for "Perfection" with a snippet of Bill's [?] voice at the end
TANTRUM
A transcript of a fight between Bill and the Time Baby, sheds light on Bill's crime against his home dimension
PAPER IS BOOK SKIN
Downloads a photoshop file full of skin layers
SKIBIDI/RIZZ
"Life privileges revoked. Now releasing poison gas."
DORITO
Creepy jump scare video
SCARY
A novel cover for "Spookemups" with and audio sniper of the story
GIFFANY
"Input deleted. AI Antiviral activated"
"Warning: Secondary firewall breached"
"Fatal warning. System under attack"
"Soos! I still love you! We will be together"
"Now downloading girlfriend. (This action cannot be undone)"
Then downloads a zip file full of link to Giffany gifs
BOOBERRY
A shockingly uplifting poem from Bill with a little image of him as a melting candle
Words that do not trigger the buzzer : BUBBLE, BUTTON, CLEAR, MUSIC
debating if it would be funnier to have a bumper sticker saying "my other ride is a [exact make and model of the car the sticker is on]" or "my other ride is a [equally shitty but different car]"
Goddamn freaky robots
A RECLUSIVE CORNER OF THE INTERWEBS DEDICATED TO YOUR ENTERTAINMENT, THE GREAT HIGHLAND BAGPIPE (THE INSTRUMENT OF YOURS TRULY), ELECTRICITY, GEOMETRIC SHAPES - A BIG SPECIALITY IN CARTOONS INVOLVING STRANGE SQUARE CHARACTERS (ONLY BY YOURS TRULY, OF COURSE!!!!), AND - LAST BUT NOT LEAST - ORGAN TRAFFICKING (PERFORMED BY YOURS TRULY)!!!I AM ACCEPTING ART REQUESTS!!! SHOOT ME AN ASK!!! I HAVE MORE TIME ON MY HANDS THAN I KNOW WHAT TO DO WITH!!!EAT A COMPUTER TODAY!!!(She/they)
291 posts