Danny Has Found Out That He Tends To Stay Awake For Weeks, If Not Months, At A Time. However, When He

the joy of realizing someone is a similar type of freak as you

I genuinely love how in batfam fanfics….

Dick is like: little D (Damian), Timmy Tim, little wing (Jason) I’m on my way my baby bros!!!

And then in canon….

Dick: *perpetually perturbed by his codependent siblings but knows he’ll never not answer cause who else is gonna pull their dumbassses out the gutter*

Sure I could ship that

Artemis really said "so is anyone gonna sweep that 6'4" double-fridge off his feet or what?" and didn't wait for an answer

bonus:

That's fucking hilarious. He would too

I love hitting characters with the trans beam but I love it even more when the implications of that are 10 times funnier than their presumed cis identities. EXHIBIT A: Richard “Dick” Grayson.

Dick, filing his legal documents with Bruce: okay you’re gonna scratch that name and write down “Richard”. But everyone will call me Dick

Bruce: …are you sure about that

Dick: did I stutter

Bruce: it’s a… really outdated name chum the kids at school aren’t gonna be nice about it

Dick: I. don’t. Care. Are you gonna write that down or should I go do the paperwork with the WE lawyers tomorrow?

Bruce: okay okay fine… if that’s what makes you happy…

Dick: this is gonna be the funniest thing I have ever done in my life

"He slipped"

Batman (1940) issue 424

Are YOU keeping your chicks warm through the winter? Why we should take notes from Bats on childcare

Jon Kent is a giant overprotective puppy when he falls in love with Damian.

Jon Kent adores Damian Wayne, has since he was a child. They fought, but Jon always admired the strength and intelligence of his hero partner.

That admiration turned to love when they got older.

Jon grew up, and Damian left Robin to pursue heroics in civilian life, but that didn't stop them from being friends. Jon still searches out Damians heartbeat every day and flew to him whenever Jon needs to talk.

Jon doesn't know when Damian becomes his anchor, but one day, it's like he is the centre of his universe. Damian has his own gravity, and Jon does not care to fly away from it. He had inadvertently made him a cornerstone of his entire world.

He only realised what that truly meant when he saw Damian get caught up in a bomb blast.

Damian hadn't been patrolling or even a hero at the time. He was in the hospital paediatric wing working when a joker goon had arrived gun in hand, declaring that the children had only 30 minutes to live if the Batman didn't arrive.

Damian had taken down the gun man in seconds. Much to the shock and awe of his co-workers and patients. They didn't have much time to think about Dr Wayne's incredible defence skills before he ordered them to evacuate.

Damian hit the silent alarm, called his father on the emergency line, and started moving as many of his young patients as possible out of the building.

The thing was, the gunman had either lied or been lied to as 20 minutes later, it goes off.

Damian screams for Superman as he sheilds a little boy with his body. Jon arrives moments later.

The bomb goes off, and Jon has just enough time to stand between Damian and the blast.

The heat is intense, and the hospital shudders beneath them, but the boy and Damian survive.

Jon lifts them out of the rubble. The boy cries while Damian comforts him, whispering soothing words while he holds him. Jon watches with his heart in his throat.

They find the boys' parents later and receive sobbing gratitudes as their child refuses to let go of Damian for a few minutes. Damian begins triage on whoever needs it, but luckily, the building was almost entirely cleared before the catastrophe.

When the GCPD and Batman arrive, Damian and Jon take the opportunity to catch their breath.

Jon can't help but tug Damian into his arms and sigh in relief. The other man doesn't protest. he just leans on him.

That was close, close in a way that it can never be again. If Jon had been even a moment late, Damian wouldn't be here. His heartbeat would have gone silent. Jon can't bear even the thought of it.

Damian feels so perfect in his arms that Jon never wants to let go. Damian looks up at him and asks to be released.

Jon stares at him as he steps out of his hold and has an epiphany. Damian Wayne is gorgeous.

He has always been beautiful, but here in scrubs, covered in soot and debris with his hair a mess, he is everything Jon has ever wanted.

Jon leans in and runs his his thumb over his face. Damian leans into the touch like a kitten.

"I love you. Marry me?"

Damian opens his pretty green eyes wide and gapes at him.

"What? That's - Um"

Jon starts to panic. He didn't mean to say that. It just sort of slipped out, but he can't take it back. It's true. Jon wants to marry this incredible man one day, even if his massive mouth may have ruined his chances.

Damian must see it on his face, but he takes a deep breath. "I....I love you too." Jon feels his heart soar.

"But I want to at least go to dinner before marriage, Hayseed!"

"Absolutely! When?!"

"We could go to a diner now?"Jon is lifting them off before Damian finishes the sentence. Damian groans even as he smiles.

The date goes really well. They get pie! Damian kisses him, goodbye! Jon floats with his giddiness. (He also crashes into a goose on his flight home, but the goose is fine, so he doesn't need to mention it to anyone ever!)

The next date goes even better, and the next and the next. They see each other every day for weeks. Jon has never been happier.

Conner has to get him down from the ceiling twice after Damian invites him to visit the kids at the hospital, and he gets a front row seat to how much they love his boyfriend.

The first time they spent the night together, Jon is useless to anyone for the next two days. He can't focus! And all he wants is to be back in bed with his boyfriend!

When Jon stops a robbery at a jewellery store, he spots a beautiful emerald and diamond ring and thinks of how good it would look on Damian. He buys it at a discount from the grateful owner. Who smiles indulgently as the hero gushes about his partner for twenty minutes. (Even the thief agrees that the ring will be perfect!)

He proposes to Damian in front of the kids in the paediatric department, much to the kids and Damians co-workers' delight. Many of them draw the two getting married, and the hospital is plastered in their art for weeks.

Jon can't wait for when he and Damian have their own kids. Damian blushes bright red when he tells him but agrees to start looking into their options.

Jon and Damian decide to elope because Damian does not want to deal with his family all in the same room together. Jon happily agrees because that means he can marry Damian faster!

The officiant looks very touched but very tired by the end of their vows.

The next time Damian is in danger, it's during an invasion. Batman calls Damian in for field medicine and extra combat support, Jon is up in the sky with his father working on bringing their ships down when he hears his husband shout in pain.

He doesn't wait or explain before he goes to him, Superman calls his name, but Jon ignores him.

Damian is on his feet but clutching at his bleeding side. Jon uses heat vision and decimates anyone near them.

"I had that habibi!" Damian says through gritted teeth.

"What you have is a critical injury, darling!"

"Who here has an MD?"

"Who here has x ray vision?"

Once the aliens are dealt with Jon takes Damian to be stitched up.

Their familes find them bickering in the medbay.

"Well, how will I take care of the babies if you're so reckless?!

"I'm fine, love! Look, it's all okay. I promise, and the babies aren't even here yet!."

"I don't know what I'd do without you. I love you so much"

Damian sighs and kisses him gently. And that's the moment both of their families walk through the door.

"You're pregnant?!" A very distressed Dick Grayson screams.

Jon chokes, and Damian glares, "No. That's not physically possible. "

Clark clears his throat, "So when did this?" he indicates to the two on bed. "Happen, exactly?"

Damian pales dramatically, and Jon realises that that thing he forgot to tell his dad a few weeks ago is that he got married.

"So, funny story, we eloped a few weeks ago...hahaha." Jon tries to defuse the tension. It doesn't work.

Damian holds up their joined hands to show off their rings.

The room goes deathly silent as Nightwing faints.

They spend the rest of the night being interrogated. (Jon kinda wants to revisit the idea of Damian being pregnant because surely someone has the technology!)

Their familes hold a vow renewal ceremony they all attend. It is as chaotic as Damian feared it to be, and while Damian does not get pregnant, Talia does let them use the articial womb she used to grow Damian to help them have their twins.

wayne family adventures + text posts: batman edition

its my bisexual right to make superbat and batcat jokes in the same post. btw.

(batkids edition)

+bonus alfred (tw suicide joke)

In tears