This Is Just My Life. Somehow The Main Story Has A Time Limit And I’m Failing? But I Have Friends Now

First time I drew philza since 2022!! It was so much fun

Why??

A slight departure from my regular posting to give you all a quick clown PSA! 

Please don’t approach any clowns that don’t seem comfortable around you! It takes them around a month to re-grow limbs that they shed if they become frightened.

You left the DSMP fandom? I didn't. It's had me in a choke hold. its had me in a choke hold its had me in a chok

THEORY TIME: John John of the Wild West Tales of the SMP episode is a JoJo. Bartender at day, egg/Vampire Hunter at night.

happy trans day of visibility!

Hello please reblog this if you’re okay with people sending you random asks to get to know you better

Something that I see a lot is the reasoning that Dream’s motive is unity. That staged finale was about uniting the server against him to bring them together even if he couldn’t be apart of that. And honestly I’m just not sure that’s the case. For starters, in the big moments when he talks about his reasoning he doesn’t mention unity he mentions together, he mentions family, he mentions team.

[from early days]

“We just wanted to have a good, safe, productive team. And when one person has a tyranny over everybody else—that keeps killing them, then you can’t have a team.” [clip]

“Listen, from now on we’re going have a civilization, okay? That lives in harmony and… and there’s no ruler. Not even me—not even anybody.” [clip]

[Punz and Dream planning]

“Always, the goal has just been that—it’s all one united server that everybody follows the same rules, there’s no countries, there’s no—you know, any of this. It’s just… One giant like—family, right?” [clip]

[prison]

“I just wanted to… I just wanted to bring the server together. Have it be a happy family, you know?” [clip]

[finale]

“Once we know everything, we—we’re able to live and everyone can be invincible and everyone can live together and be in harmony and—and not have to worry about death or pain or anything, then it’ll be worth it. The ends justify the means.” [clip]

“I want everyone to able to live and be happy and together… and you’ve—you’ve ruined that—you’ve ruined that yourself. You’re the one who separates everyone!” [clip]

And I know for some people unity and together might seem synonymous, but in this context I don’t think they are. I think it’s important to realize that Dream wanted people to not be divided, he wanted them to be a happy family, but families aren’t always united. They don’t always agree, they aren’t always peaceful, they don’t always have the same goals or agenda or beliefs, but a close family always makes up in the end and when all is said and done, generally gets along and is there for each other.

Additionally, the way I’ve always understood it was that Dream didn’t want peace, he wanted people to do the right thing [clip] and he wanted people to be happy which means that conflicts where people are getting upset opposes that. Dead pets, items not being returned, houses being burnt, people being insulted, and offenders refusing to simply apologize [clip] that tends to cause a conflict without resolution that leaves a lasting divide and unhappiness, which goes against Dream’s goal. But I don’t think he was against violence or wars as a whole, after all those happen at the beginning, when things were still simple. The point was that people stayed as a whole happy or content and as long as no one got too upset it was fine.

To keep people happy and safe, Dream also needed to prevent any one person from holding the power, because they would abuse it and use it against people, which we see happen over and over again. This is one of the reasons why he had a problem with Wilbur’s self appointed presidency, it’s why he kills George early on and takes his stuff when he became op before everyone else, it is why he kills Tubbo’s villagers. He didn’t want anyone to be too overpowered and then use that power to harm others. Dream considered himself the mediator and one to balance out the sides, the one to make sure people had their stuff back when all was said and done, the one to help people get revenge for their dead pet. Yes, he broke the very rules he made, which people love to point out makes him a hypocrite and therefore his gripe with Tommy has no footing, but notice what he says in the finale:

“You break all the rules. Tommy, there wasn’t even that many rules. They were simple things: respect others, don’t destroy things. You broke everything—every rule.” [clip]

“Respect others,” that’s the first thing he mentions, because that’s the most important. That’s the one that Tommy broke that bothered Dream the most. It wasn’t really about the stealing or the killing or griefing, after all George and Sapnap did that too. No, it was the lack of respect he had for the people he hurt that bothered Dream the most. It was that lack of respect which led people to be unhappy even when the war was over and sustaining that divide even after the war, which goes against the civilization Dream strived for.

It’s not about unity, it’s about the opposite of exclusion. It’s about Sapnap and Punz who were both friends with clingy duo, but not able to join L’manberg because they are American. It was the divide and separation. Like Ranboo who because of nations and politics struggled to be friends with both Techno and L’manberg.

Dream didn’t want people to be truly united in a cause nor did he want true peace - the absence of conflict and chaos. because you only get those by enforcing them through dictatorship and oppression when you force everyone to have the same opinion and obey. But Dream didn’t want to be a tyrant, that’s one of the reasons why he kept handing the power to a king. He wanted everyone to live in harmony by doing the right thing themselves and he thought that if he could keep the server from splitting that they would.

So then, the reason I think he put himself in prison and planned staged finale, wasn’t about uniting the server even if that’s against himself, but because it was the only way he could see a path to be allowed to be accepted back into society. That if he served his time in prison maybe they would see him as a person again and think he got better and let him out, which I’ve talked more about [here] and [here].

“Maybe—maybe I’ll be better and then you’ll let me out.” [clip]

He wanted a family. As Tommy points out in the finale: he just wanted to have friends. He didn’t want to be alone. So it doesn’t make sense for his goal to be a self sacrificial move to unite everyone against him for the sake of unity, he wanted to bring people together into a happy society again, where they spend the afternoon fishing and playing hide and seek, not wars and executions and politics. But he wanted to be apart of that society and family too, because he didn’t want to be alone. Honestly, he probably wanted to be friends with everyone, but the division was preventing that, the propaganda was preventing that, and so prison became the only option he could see to undo that. To allow him back into the family that he was trying to keep together. That’s what staged finale was about - protection for him and Punz and the opportunity of reconciliation [post]. If he really just wanted unity then he would’ve have been fairly pleased with Doomsday, where most everyone sided against his side. If he wanted the whole server against him, then staged finale was an abysmal success, as he points out to Sam plenty of people like Techno weren’t involved. But of course, it was never about unity because that doesn’t make sense, it was about friends, and family, bringing people together so that no one was alone and excluded, forming a simple happy community again…

like there comes a point where you think something is fundamentally wrong with you. and then it turns out it’s just Friday and you haven’t washed your hair in three days and maybe you’re also just a little lonely and the combination of all three of those things is whittling a hole into your chest every time you breathe. but also the sun’s up. and you’ve survived everything so far, so you’ll survive this too, even if it hurts, even if you have to survive it many times.

i heard my mom listening to the instrumentals of the lmanburg national anthem over dinner and i was gonna ask her what she was watching. it was mass. they were playing hallelujah

" ctommy is a demon " , " ctommy is a raccoon " , no that is an angel. Like imagine being born to be GREAT, a LIGHT of good in the world. So you do everything you're told is good, taught is right, because that's what you're supposed to do. That's what you have to be.

You build a church, a holy path. You try so hard, yet it's always wrong. It's never enough. You're always to selfish, to evil, to wrong. To angry, to hurt, to scared.

You're supposed to be holy, to help people, yet you're failing. You've been failing in this for so long, that you forget how it feels to succeed.