18+, minor don't interact with the 18+ contentTomura shigaraki's biggest simpArtist, writter
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He's perfect
Guys...
Chat, is he beautiful or is he beautiful?
Gotta recreate the angle.
the new postmodern age (chapter two) - a Shigaraki x f!Reader fic
Written for @threadbaresweater's follower milestone event, and the prompt 'a day at the beach'! Congratulations on the milestone, and thanks for giving me a chance to write this fic.
dividers by @enchanthings
Before the war, you were nothing but a common criminal, but in the world that's arisen from the ashes, you got a second chance. Five years after the final battle between the heroes and the League of Villains, you run a coffee shop in a quiet seaside town, and you're devoted to keeping your customers happy. Even customers like Shimura Tenko, who needs a second chance even more than you did -- and who's harboring a secret that could upend everything you've tried to build. Will you let the past drag both of you down? Or will you find a way, against all odds, to a new beginning? (cross-posted to Ao3)
Chapters: 1 2
Chapter 2
One of the dubious perks of living in a coastal town is fairly mild weather in the spring, but every so often it kicks up with a vengeance. The windows in your apartment are rattling with the wind and rain, and you keep getting power outage alerts on your phone. Your power is still on, along with about half the townâs, and the cafĂŠ has backup generators if anything goes wrong. But tomorrowâs the one day a week that the cafĂŠ is closed, anyway, so youâre curled up on your couch under a blanket, trying to make yourself read a book instead of scrolling your phone. Itâs going all right, but when the phone buzzes on the coffee table next to you, you pounce on it with shameful speed.
It's a text from Tenko â Shimura. Itâs from Shimura, who youâve gotten into the bad habit of calling Tenko in your head. my power just went out
that sucks. You wonder if you should offer to help, but what would you even do? did you lose any files?
autosave. but the deadlineâs tomorrow and my WiFi went down too. That still begs the question of why Shimuraâs texting you about it. town still has power. can I hang out in the cafĂŠ and finish the project?
Now you get it. Shimuraâs in hot water and he needs you to bail him out. Itâs the kind of thing youâd do for a friend. A lot of things you and Shimura do are the kind of things friends do.
Not that youâre friends. You never see each other outside the cafĂŠ; you ran into him at the grocery store a few months after he started coming in and he pretended he didnât know you. But inside the cafĂŠ, when itâs quiet, the two of you talk. You learned what he does for work â beta-testing computer games and identifying spots that need a patch â and he learned that you have basically no life outside your job, which he canât judge you for because he doesnât have one, either. When the two of you traded phone numbers, it was a work-related thing. Since the babkas have gotten popular, he texts on days when heâs planning on coming in, so you know to set one aside.
Except thatâs not all he texts you about. He texts you about the most random things, in massive bursts between days of radio silence, and when he comes into the cafĂŠ again, he keeps talking about whatever it was like youâd been talking about it the whole time. Itâs like he has no idea how to carry on a text conversation. Or how to have a friend.
You donât have a great idea of how to have a friend, either. Let alone a friend you have feelings for. If Shimura was just your friend, youâd have texted back by now. Shimura texts again. I get it if you donât want to come back into town when the weatherâs shit. i would have asked about your place but I didnât want to make it weird
Not weird. You answer without thinking too hard about it. I donât know how much longer Iâll have power. You should probably come over now.
yeah. address? Shimura gives a thumbs-up once you send it. thanks.
You give him a thumbs-up, too. Youâre already worried youâve made a mistake.
The powerâs still on by the time Shimura knocks on your door, which is one of your worries dealt with. Youâve changed out of your pajamas, and you moved stuff off the kitchen table and hid it in the hall closet so heâll have a space to work. Youâre feeling almost normal by the time you go to let him in, and he slinks through the door, looking like a drowned rat and shivering like a kicked puppy. âIt sucks out there,â he mumbles. âMy heat went out, too.â
âMineâs still on. And Iâve got blankets and stuff if you want them,â you say. Shimura is still wearing his mask, but his hoodie is soaking wet, and when he takes down the hood you see that his hair is wavier than you thought. Or maybe itâs just the water. âThe WiFi password is on the fridge. Make yourself at home.â
Shimura takes off his shoes and pushes his hair out of his face to peer at your apartment. âNice place.â
âDonât be mean.â
âIâm not. Itâs not a mess and there arenât holes anywhere. Itâs nice.â Shimura gives you a look you donât know how to interpret. âThanks for letting me come over. Uh ââ
He runs out of whatever he was going to say, but youâve got no idea what he was going to follow up with. The two of you stand there for a second. Shimuraâs hoodie is so sopping wet that itâs making puddles on the floor. âOkay,â you say finally. âGive me your hoodie and Iâll put it in the dryer.â
âYou have a dryer? I drag my shit to the laundromat.â
You used to, but then you found out about all the petty things civilians do to make people like you feel unwelcome. Shimura hasnât noticed because Shimuraâs undercover. You wait while he peels off the hoodie. Youâve never seen him without it, barely seen him with the hood down, and beneath it, his clothes are just as oversized. His arms are bare and pale â and scarred. You wrench your eyes away, take the hoodie to the dryer, and take the opportunity to compose yourself along the way. You have a friend over. Normal people have friends over. Youâre helping a friend. It doesnât get more normal than that.
When you come back, Shimuraâs hard at work at the kitchen table, laptop open and notebook at his side. You donât want to distract him. You have a feeling the two of you are racing the clock with the storm and the power lines, so you sit down on the couch with your blanket and pick up your book. No way are you going to be able to read. When youâre at work, you have a million things to do. Right now, thereâs nothing for you to do but watch Shimura.
He's focused on whatever heâs doing, typing fast but lopsided. It takes you a second to figure out what the problem is, but once you do, youâre startled â two fingers on his left hand are basically paralyzed. Maybe thatâs why he wears the gloves. His hair falls to his shoulders, and although itâs black, thereâs a flatness to the color that tells you itâs not natural, and that he did it at home. Maybe you should offer to do it for him when his roots start to grow out. Youâve never seen the lower half of his face, but apparently you didnât need to in order to give yourself a crush on him.
You like him. Youâre being silly about it. And youâre staring. You stick your face back in your book.
But it canât hold your attention for long when heâs here, and when you inevitably look back up, you find Shimura already watching you. âWhat?â you ask.
âGet over here. I need your help with something.â
âI donât game.â
âItâs not about gameplay. Itâs ââ Shimura beckons to you impatiently, and you abandon your book and blanket to peer over his shoulder at the screen. âSomethingâs wrong with this stage. It looks like shit. I told the devs that, and they said I had to be more specific ââ
âItâs the color saturation,â you say. Shimura looks up at you. âAnd the shadows are wrong. If the light source is supposed to be coming from above â like the sun â the shadows should be in different spots. Or there should be shadows, and there arenât any. Thatâs why the character looks like â that.â
You glance away from the screen, at Shimura. âWhat kind of game is this?â
âItâs a dating sim. Shut up,â Shimura says. âI donât get to pick what I test. What was that about the shadows?â
âThey need to fix the lighting.â
Shimura looks irritated. âTheyâre gonna want specifics.â
âThe stage looks flat because they havenât added shading to match the light source,â you say. Shimura pulls up another document and types something into it. âShading gives dimension. And the color saturation is too high. Thatâs why it looks like ââ
âA fucking eyesore.â Shimura minimizes the document, then clicks a dialogue option to advance the game to the next screen. âSame problem here?â
You nod, but itâs not the only problem. âIs this supposed to be a schoolgirl sim? High school girls donât talk like that.â
âHow do you know?â
âI was one,â you say. You read the response to Shimuraâs chosen prompt again. âThis skews really young. Like, twelve or something.â
Shimuraâs face twists with disgust. âHow do we fix that?â
âFewer exclamation points,â you suggest. Shimura writes that down. âDoes it have to be high school girls? For this game?â
âTheyâre supposed to be college girls so itâs legal. The outfits are how the dev wants it.â Shimura rolls his eyes. âBut heâs a pro hero, so it doesnât matter that heâs a perv. Right?â
âI didnât know there were pros making computer games,â you say. âI know a lot of them have side hustles, but â pervy dating sims?â
âPervy dating sims. Sorry to burst your bubble.â
âIâve been captured seventeen times and only twice by cops,â you say. âI donât really have a bubble.â
âSeventeen times,â Shimura repeats. âI canât tell if thatâs a flex or not. Who got you?â
âUm ââ You think it over. âKamui Woods, back when he was field-testing that Lacquered Chain Prison thing.â
âThat thing fucking sucks.â
âTell me about it. Death Arms nabbed me at one point, but he dropped me when I turned him green.â Youâre still proud of that one, even if you got in worse trouble for it than usual. âEndeavor actually caught me tagging something once. I would have been screwed, except I guess he was looking for a more high-profile case.â
âSo he just let you go?â
âYep.â You think back on the other times you got booked. âOne time Fatgum got me. And then some work-study kids from Shiketsu High.â
Shimura snorts. âKids got you?â
âMy quirkâs not very dangerous,â you say. By that point youâd learned that turning people different colors could net you an assault charge. âAnd then it was Eraserhead. Four or five times. I can camouflage with my quirk and he could turn it off.â
Shimura nods. Heâs clicking through screens on the dating sim. âWhat about you?â you ask. âWho caught you?â
âI only got taken into custody one time,â Shimura says. âI had run-ins with, uh â Eraserhead, Present Mic, Thirteen, All Might, Endeavor, Kamui Woods, Ryukyu, Miruko ââ
Those are all big-name heroes. You have to wonder what Shimura did. âBut I guess Midoriyaâs the one who made it stick,â Shimura concludes. Midoriya? It takes you a second, and Shimura fills in. âThe one with the stupid name. Deku.â
âOh.â
Dekuâs active hero career was fairly short, and all his fights were big ones. Shimura must have been working for somebody powerful before the war, or during it. Shimuraâs shoulders stiffen, suddenly. âForget I said that.â
âOkay,â you say. Maybe heâs embarrassed about getting captured by a student, even if you just told him you did the same thing. âIf you forget I got arrested seventeen times.â
âDeal.â Shimura clicks through a few more screens, then curses. âYouâve got to be kidding me.â
âWhat?â You peer at the screen, and Shimura blocks it. âIs it proprietary or something?â
âNo, itâs porn,â Shimura says. Heâs scowling. âThereâs not one route in this game that doesnât end with the player getting laid by three characters at once.â
Three seems like a lot, but â âIsnât that kind of what dating sims are for?â you ask. Shimura shrugs. What little of his face you can see around the mask is flushed. âWait, is this how you have to test them? Playing through every route?â
âAnd getting all the bonus cutscenes.â Shimura rolls his eyes. He glances at the screen. âGreat. Thereâs audio.â
âWhat kind?â you ask. âYou have to check if it works, right?â
âMaybe itâs background music,â Shimura says. He presses play.
Itâs not background music. Itâs exactly what youâd expect, and itâs painfully loud. Shimura scrambles to mute the game and pauses it two seconds after a shot of something anatomically improbable. âLet me guess â the lightingâs fucked up here, too. Right?â
âAnd the facial movements donât match the audio,â you say. âDid the developers send you this before it was ready?â
âNo, theyâre just on a budget. This is as ready as it gets.â Shimura shows you a dialogue prompt. âDo women say stuff like this?â
âUm â no. Not as a first-time thing. If this is a first-time route.â
âIt is.â Shimura groans. âI still have a quarter of the route left. Letâs go.â
âGo where?â
âThe couch. I need your help with this and you only have one chair at your kitchen table.â
Your couch is sort of messy. You shift the blankets and pillows around to make room for two. Shimura props his feet on the coffee table, sets a pillow on his lap, and balances the laptop on it. âIf you spot any more off-balance graphics, tell me. I already made a note about the dialogue.â
âCan you turn the brightness up?â You sit down next to him. The contrast shifts, and you wince. âThe lightâs wrong.â
âAgain?â
âYeah. Unless that love interest is supposed to give off light.â You donât know anything about this game. Maybe it actually is about glowing college girls in high school uniforms who really like foursomes. âIf she isnât, thatâs a problem, because sheâs the light source for the whole frame. And if she is, thereâs no shading, so itâs flat again.â
âUgh.â Shimura rolls his shoulders. âThis is gonna be a long night.â
Itâs going to be a long night, but itâs also sort of fun. You havenât hung out with a friend in a while, and itâs nicer than you remember. You decide you want hot chocolate, so you make a cup for Shimura, too, and you learn a lot more about making erotic dating sims than you ever wanted to know. By the third porn interlude, Shimuraâs basically out of patience. âThis is a waste of time.â
âYouâre getting paid for it, right?â you ask. Shimura nods. âIs there something youâd be doing if you didnât have to do this?â
âYeah. Iâd be talking to you about something other than this dumb game.â Shimura hits the skip button five times in a row. âWhat were you doing when I texted?â
âTrying to read.â You point out the book on the coffee table and Shimura inspects it. âI used to read a lot when I didnât have a phone, but itâs hard to get back into it when the phone is right there. Thatâs why I texted back so fast.â
Shimuraâs frowning behind his mask. âWhy didnât you text me first?â
âTo ask if your power was out and invite you over?â you ask, puzzled, and Shimuraâs frown deepens. âIâd text you more if I thought I could get away with it.â
âWhat does that mean?â
âUm, just that Iâm not sure how much you want to talk,â you say, âand I donât want to annoy you. Thatâs it.â
âYou know whatâs annoying? That.â Shimura clicks through a few more screens. âWe canât talk at the cafĂŠ because youâre busy. You never ask to meet up when you arenât busy. When else are we supposed to talk?â
âShimura ââ You must have missed something, somewhere. Some little detail that makes all of this make sense. The lights in your apartment flicker, and your stomach jolts. âI think the powerâs going.â
âShit.â Shimura starts typing faster, splitting his screen between the game and the document where heâs been making corrections. âShit!â
âIf the internet goes out, I can use my phone as a hotspot,â you offer.
âThe signal wonât be strong enough. I have to send so many fucking screengrabs.â Shimuraâs fingers fly across the keys. âIf you want to help, start praying that the electricity holds out long enough for me to get this done.â
âIâll pray,â you say. âI donât want to be responsible for you losing your job and going back to a life of crime.â
Shimura laughs at that, raspy and sharp, and keeps typing. You watch as he clicks through stages, skips cutscenes heâs already played, hits a key on his keyboard that generates screengrabs of any stage heâs found an issue with, all while typing into a note document at the same time. Heâs fast. Youâve never seen him work this fast in the cafĂŠ, but then again, youâve never really gotten to observe him in the cafĂŠ, either. Youâre always busy. Too busy to talk â at least not as much as Shimura wants to talk. He wants to talk to you more. Has he really been waiting for you to make the first move?
The lights flicker again, the room going dark for a split second before brightening up again. Shimuraâs no longer typing â instead heâs watching a file upload to a server, progressing a few megabytes at a time. You switch from facetiously praying to actually praying. Your power only needs to hold out long enough for Shimuraâs upload to finish.
The entire status bar on the upload turns green, and a checkmark appears, confirming itâs complete. A second later, your power goes out, plunging your apartment into near-total darkness.
Shimura breathes a sigh of relief. âThat was close,â he says, and shuts the lid of his laptop, making the darkness complete. âNow I donât have to return to my life of crime.â
âGood,â you say. âIâd be sad not to see you at the cafĂŠ again.â
He said he wanted to talk to you more, so itâs probably safe for you to say youâd be sad not to see him. Your eyes havenât adjusted enough to make out more than Shimuraâs shape in the darkness. âI looked up the NCRA thing. You could have gone for job training. Whyâd you decide to open up a coffee shop?â
âI didnât just want to make money.â You got asked this same question when you applied for the NCRA in the first place. âPeople always told me that I was selfish, because all criminals are selfish, so I wanted to make something for other people. I wanted to be able to give other people something I didnât have when I needed it.â
Shimura sets his closed laptop on the coffee table with a quiet thud. âYou really seized the day with this stuff, huh?â
âI didnât want to live the way I was living before,â you say. âIt was either stop living or try something else.â
âDid you think it would work?â
âI didnât know,â you say. âI wanted to find out.â
Thatâs what it was, more than anything else. You told yourself youâd go one day at a time, that at the end of each day youâd decide if it was worth trying again tomorrow. At first it was out of spite. The early days of the NCRA were filled with detractors, people who thought criminals and villains deserved to rot in prison or worse, and every day you went without violating your probation was a day you spent pissing them off. But soon it was more than that. You worked on names for the cafĂŠ, too focused on finding the right one to pretend it didnât matter. You taught yourself to use an espresso machine, and you wanted the chance to use it. You put your first mural up and started planning the next one. Without meaning to, surviving out of spite became surviving for yourself.
âYeah,â Shimura says after a second. âI want to find out, too.â
Something about his tone of voice captures your attention. You turn to face him, turning on the flashlight on your phone, but the brightness makes you flinch. You lower it partially, and Shimuraâs hand comes up to force it down the rest of the way. âDonât,â he says. âI have to take off my mask.â
Anticipation puts a twist in your spine, and as your eyes readjust to the darkness, you see Shimura unhook one side of his mask, then the other, lowering it away from his face. Youâve never seen the lower half of his face before. âWhy did you take it off if you donât want me to see?â
âBecause I want to kiss you and it would get in the way.â
You thought your crush on Shimura was going nowhere fast. You didnât think there was any chance heâd want you, too. His gloved hands settle at your waist and stay there, shifting you closer to him. You feel his breath against your cheek a moment before his lips, dry and cracked, meet yours.
Itâs a quick kiss. Quick, and tentative. He draws back, but he doesnât go far. You can still feel his breath against your skin, and when you lean forward again, he kisses you a second time. A second time melts into a third, a fourth, blending so seamlessly into each other that you lose count. Kissing Shimura doesnât set you on fire, but you canât remember another time where you felt curious like this. Where youâve wanted to see what another kiss will do, rather than losing patience and pulling away.
The power doesnât come back on, and just like the darkness emboldened Shimura to take off his mask, it emboldens you to unfold your hands from your lap and touch him. His kisses grow more insistent as you run your hands along his back, when you rest them against his shoulders, fingers uncurling along the length of his collarbones. Shimuraâs hands donât leave your waist, but his grip on you tightens. It tightens further when you run your fingers along the side of his neck.
Youâve seen him scratching there, so itâs not hard to imagine itâs a sensitive place. You draw back from kissing him and press your lips against it, and Shimura speaks, his voice even raspier than usual. âDid you like me this whole time?â
âHuh?â
âDid you like me this whole time? You gave me free stuff when I came in.â
âI gave you discounted stuff,â you correct. You kiss his neck again. Shimura stirs discontentedly under your hands and mouth. âYou were a new customer. I wanted you to come back.â
âYou saved a pastry for me the day that hero showed up,â Shimura says. âDid you like me then?â
Heâs really stuck on this. âWhy do you want to know?â
âI couldnât tell if you liked me or not. I thought you did, but I wasnât sure.â Shimuraâs head tilts, exposing more of his throat, but youâre more interested in his shoulder, partially revealed by the neck of his oversized shirt. âI want to know when.â
âIt would have been when I saved the pastry for you, except you were kind of a dick that day,â you say. Shimura snorts. âAfter that. But before your birthday. I meant it when I said Iâd go to your party.â
âYouâd be the only one.â Shimuraâs hands leave your waist, sliding beneath your shirt. Heâs still wearing his gloves, but his exposed fingertips are rough. âNext year.â
Heâs thinking way ahead. How do you feel about that? âYeah,â you say, edging closer to him. âNext year.â
Part of you feels crazy for this. Youâre crazy for making out with Shimura on your couch, yanking off his shirt and letting him unhook your bra, tangling your hands up in his hair and tugging it ever so slightly and feeling a sharp stab of desire when he gasps against your mouth. The rest of you doesnât care. There will always be something within you that doesnât evaluate risk quite right, that doesnât care about the aftermath when something you want is right in front of you. Shimura is the first thing youâve wanted in so long thatâs got nothing to do with the faultless new life youâve been trying to build. You want him, and some part of you will always be bad at saying no to what you want.
An alarm goes off on Shimuraâs phone and scares the two of you apart. Youâre closer to it, and when you grab it, you notice two things right away. First, that Shimuraâs alarm is labeled âgo to sleep, moronâ. Second, the time. âItâs two am.â
âShit.â Shimura lifts the phone out of your hands and silences the alarm. âYou need to wake up in three hours.â
âThe cafĂŠâs closed tomorrow.â Youâre sort of touched that he remembered how early you have to wake up on workdays. Your heart is still beating too fast. âDo you need to go?â
âThe streetlights are still out.â Itâs pitch-dark outside your window. âCan I crash on your couch?â
âYou could,â you say. âThe bedâs more comfortable, though.â
âYeah, no shit. It ââ Shimuraâs head snaps up. âWait, seriously?â
âYeah,â you say. âI donât know about you, but I wasnât done here.â
âMe, either.â Shimura stands up, and so do you. âLetâs go.â
Your apartment is tough to navigate in the dark, even for you, and Shimura bumps into every obstacle you know about and a few more you didnât think would be a problem. He swerves to avoid the edge of your kitchen table and walks straight into the corner of the hallway that leads to your bedroom and the bathroom. âFuck!â
âBack up a few steps,â you say. Shimura backs up. âTake two steps to the left. No, your other left.â
Shimura curses again, quieter. âEither this place is a fucking labyrinth, or ââ
âYou got so wound up you walked into a wall,â you say. Shimura snorts. âYouâve never been here before, Shimura. Take it easy.â
âTenko.â
âHm?â
âItâs Tenko,â he says. You get the faintest hint of butterflies in your stomach. âWe made out for three hours and you invited me back to your bedroom. Quit it with the Shimura thing. Iâve been using your name the whole time.â
âOkay. Tenko.â You step forward until youâre right in front of him. âHold out your hands.â
He holds them straight out at shoulder height and narrowly avoids smacking you in the face. You take them both and pull them down, noting how badly Tenko startles. âYouâve been using my first name, but you donât want to hold my hands?â
âI donât get why you want to hold mine.â
âWhy wouldnât I?â you say, puzzled. You take one step back, and another, and another after that, until your back hits your bedroom door. âLike you said, I asked you to stay over.â
âI asked to stay over. You said ââ
âI remember.â You canât believe you did that. You donât regret it, but youâre a little floored. âI wouldnât have done that if I didnât want to hold your hands, too.â
Tenko steps forward, crowding you against the door, and kisses you without letting go of your hands. It feels different than the earlier kisses, not frantic or heated, not light or uncertain, not slow or deep or inexorable. This feels like a movie kiss, the kind at the end of a romcom where everything and nothingâs been resolved. Your life has never been a movie. Thereâs every chance that this is a mistake. But you donât mind setting it aside for a little while, from now until you fall asleep. You keep kissing Tenko in your lightless apartment, and you donât let go of his hands until itâs time to open your bedroom door.
Youâre not hungover when you wake up, and when you think about it, youâre not actually confused. You know why itâs warmer in your bed than usual, why you feel like that, why the first thing that hits you is uncertainty, anxiety. Shimura came over last night, because the power went out in his apartment and he still had work to do. The power didnât go out in your apartment until after his work was finished. And you shouldnât be calling him Shimura in your head, because sometime between the couch and your bedroom, he told you to call him Tenko â and then he gave you a lot of chances to get used to saying his name.
Your face goes up in flames at the memory, but thereâs no stopping it, and thereâs no relief in waking up. When you turn your head, you see Tenko asleep on his side, the shadowy scars on his back interrupted here and there with scratches you left. Itâs the scratches more than anything that hammer it home to you, more than the fact that youâre naked or the soreness between your legs. You slept with Shimura Tenko last night, and you let him come inside you, and you didnât pee after sex like youâre supposed to do. You didnât even clean up. What did you do?
You sit bolt upright in a panic, and beside you, Tenko stirs. âToo early,â he mumbles. One hand reaches out for you, closes three fingers and a thumb around your forearm, and yanks you back down. âSleep.â
âI donât usually sleep late,â you say, trying to keep your voice steady.
âI donât usually sleep.â Tenkoâs halfway back to it already. You glance at the hand holding your arm and realize that itâs ungloved. Youâve never seen Tenko without his gloves. âDonât ruin it.â
Youâre ruining his sleep by getting up? How? The question is answered when he flops back against you, forcing you into the role of the big spoon whether you want it or not. You know he doesnât sleep well. Youâve seen dark circles under his red eyes, and he wouldnât have set a two am alarm that calls him a moron for staying awake if going to sleep was easy for him. Tenkoâs a guest, and your friend â maybe â and whatever else he is or isnât, you slept with him last night, and he slept over. Maybe you should just be grateful that he didnât flee the scene. Youâve heard guys do that the morning after. Itâs not something youâve seen before, because nobody you ever slept with before stayed the night. They wouldnât have, even if youâd had a place to stay.
You lie back down and wrap your arm loosely around Tenkoâs waist, turning your head and pressing your cheek against his shoulder. Thereâs scar tissue under your cheek, just like there was on his neck, just like there is on his back and his arms. Something horrible happened to him. You donât have the first clue what it is, but itâs in his past. Heâs here. You close your eyes and do your best to fall asleep.
When you wake up again, thereâs light slanting through the window, and your ceiling fan is on. The powerâs back. Tenkoâs here, awake, but he must have left at some point, because he has his mask on again. Heâs also got his phone in his ungloved hand, scrolling away at something. His other hand, still gloved, rests on your bare back. Not doing anything, not starting anything. Just â there.
You clear your throat. âYouâre still here.â
âWhere else was I gonna be?â Tenko gives you a weird look. His bedhead is absolutely horrendous. âI donât have a new project yet and itâs your day off. So we can hang out.â
You think through what you were going to do today. It wasnât much. Mostly errands â laundry, picking up a prescription. But youâd planned to do something fun, too. âWant to go down to the beach?â
âThe beach?â Tenko sounds like heâs thinking about it. Then he shakes his head. âToo many people.â
âOn the main beach. I go to a different one. Itâs a lot quieter over there.â You look up at him. âAfter a storm like last nightâs there should be tons of good stuff washed up. And if you want we can come back here to hang out afterward. Or go to your place.â
âMy place is gross,â Tenko says. He grimaces behind the mask. âI mean â Iâm not gross. Itâs gross. Everything has a hole in it. And I donât have, like â I donât decorate. Itâs not ââ
âItâs okay,â you say. âWe donât have to go there today.â
âSome other time,â Tenko says. âI have to clean.â
âIâd have cleaned if Iâd known you were coming over.â
âThis place is clean.â Tenkoâs fingers tap a pattern on your back. âFine. Iâll go to the beach with you. If anything bites me Iâm leaving.â
âWeâre not getting in the water. Itâs still too cold,â you say, laughing. âBut sure. Fine. Youâve got a deal.â
âIâm serious. If something bites me ââ
âIâll protect you.â You sit up as he scoffs, leaning in to kiss his cheek over the mask. âYou agreed to try it. Itâs the least I can do.â
You can tell Tenkoâs frowning when you draw back. âWe had sex last night and I get a cheek kiss?â
âIâm not making out with you through your mask.â
âClose your eyes, then.â
You do. Youâre not sure why Tenkoâs so insistent on only taking off his mask when you canât see his face, but you donât have a problem respecting that boundary as long as he still kisses you every so often. Just like last night, you feel Tenkoâs breath against your skin before his lips meet yours â but while last night you had curiosity, now you have memories, and heat floods through you as you kiss him. When Tenko pulls you down into his lap, you donât argue with him. He's already half-hard, and he hisses sharply when you shift against him. Itâs all too easy to imagine his expression.
You saw shadows of it last night, and you remember something else, too. âDid you make me close my eyes so I wouldnât call you pretty again?â
âNot pretty,â Tenko mumbles. âYouâre weird.â
Maybe, but youâre not wrong, and you also know itâs not a mood killer. A few more kisses and Tenkoâs hard again, his hands grasping your hips and pulling you down towards his cock. No condom, again. You didnât have one last night, and youâre still not on birth control, but â you sink down on him for the second time in twelve hours, and your thoughts flutter uselessly alongside your eyelids. You had your period a week ago. Youâre not going to get pregnant. Itâs â fine â
Itâs so close to noon that you can barely call it morning sex, but if this thing with Tenko keeps up, morning sex is a strong contender for your favorite kind. Or maybe you just like riding him. Maybe both. Itâs slow and easy, and Tenko leans back against the headboard, letting you do most of the work. He has one request, though. One thing thatâs odd. âMy right hand. Hold it down.â
You curl your fingers around his wrist and pin it to the headboard, and his hips jerk sharply. âYeah. Donât let go.â
His right handâs immobilized, but his left stays on your hip, fingernails digging in as you increase your pace. With your eyes closed, with nothing to ground yourself but Tenkoâs touch, itâs all too easy to lose yourself. You come on his cock in a rush of pleasure that leaves you gasping, and Tenkoâs wrist strains in your grip as he loses control seconds later, a low moan wrenching itself out of his mouth. Heâs shaking beneath you, and when he speaks, his voice is a wreck. âThis was a bad idea,â he says, and your heart plummets. âNow Iâm too tired for the beach.â
You laugh breathlessly. âI bet we can rally,â you say. âLet me know when itâs safe to open my eyes.â
Even once Tenkoâs put his mask back on, he doesnât want to let you out of his lap. You get up anyway and stagger to the bathroom, catching a glimpse of yourself in the mirror on the way. You definitely look like you had sex twice in the last twelve hours. You donât look half as anxious as you feel. You vaguely remember telling yourself not to worry about what this means last night, but you and Tenko are going to have to talk at some point, because not knowing whatâs going on is stressing you out.
You have to kick Tenko out of bed when you get back from the bathroom, because not changing the sheets is also stressing you out. So is not having very many choices in the breakfast department, even though you had no idea he was coming over and even less of one that heâd spend the night. You can provide coffee, at least â the espresso machine you learned on is still in your kitchen at home. You upgraded the cafĂŠâs as soon as you possibly could.
You donât have the usual flavored syrups here, but you mix two cappuccinos instead. Tenko pulls his mask to one side and tries a sip. âThis is good,â he says, surprised in a way that should offend you but doesnât. âNext time Iâm ordering one of these.â
âInstead of the mocha?â
âInstead of the coffee.â Tenko takes another sip. âI found frozen waffles in the freezer. Can I eat those?â
âYeah. The toasterâs over there.â
You discover a few seconds later that Tenko wasnât actually planning to defrost the waffles before eating them, and you spend a little while being appalled before you show him how to toast them properly. The two of you eat standing up in the kitchen and finish your coffee, and Tenko plugs in his laptop while you switch out the laundry. âI can leave this here, right?â he asks when you come back to the living room. âWeâre coming back after?â
âYeah.â You watch as Tenko leaves his backpack but pockets his phone and keys. âLetâs go.â
Your anxiety was held at bay for a while, when you had things to do, but now itâs just the two of you walking side by side down the street, and youâre agonizing about whether to hold his hand. Tenkoâs hand brushes with yours once, twice, before you lose patience. âDo you want to hold hands?â
Tenkoâs eyes widen over his mask, and he doesnât answer you, but a moment later, his hand closes awkwardly over yours. You havenât held hands in a while. You donât think this is how itâs supposed to work. But youâre holding hands with Tenko. Thatâs what you wanted. Everythingâs fine.
âWhy did you move here?â Tenko asks, as the two of you pass the street that leads down to the main beach and keep walking. âOut of everywhere?â
âIt was strongly suggested by my probation officer that I get out of the city,â you say. âHe thought Iâd be less likely to fall back into my old ways if I was in a small town, since Iâd actually know the people whose buildings I was defacing.â
âDidnât you get busted for tagging your own house?â
âYep.â Looking back, it was an incredibly stupid move. Your parents were already at the end of their rope with you. You should have known theyâd cut you loose. âAnd Iâd always wanted to live near the ocean, so it worked out. What about you?â
âI needed somewhere out of the way,â Tenko says. âIt didnât matter where.â
âAnd you got here five years ago?â You keep walking past the second beach access road. The road to your beach is a lot more out of the way. âWe must have gotten here around the same time, then.â
âI was first. Iâd been here three months when you started renovating that building.â Tenkoâs eyes seem far away. âIt was good timing. People were starting to ask questions about me, but then they switched over to you instead.â
âGlad I could help.â You feel funny about the fact that you were running interference for him, four and a half years before he ever set foot in your cafĂŠ. âAnd Iâm glad you picked this place for a fresh start.â
âPeople like me donât get fresh starts,â Tenko says. Youâre about to point out that as a person without a record, all he has to do for a fresh start is move, but he speaks before you can. âIâm glad I ended up here, too.â
Youâll take it, even if you have a lot of questions about everything else he just said. The two of you walk in silence for a little while. Itâs a cloudy day, with only faint sunbeams sneaking through, and the wind carries a faint chill even though itâs officially summer by now. âWhat should we do when we get back?â Tenko asks.
âWe arenât even there yet.â
âYeah, but I want to know what I have to look forward to,â Tenko says. You roll your eyes. âYou donât play games. Do you want to learn?â
âMaybe,â you say. âIâm not going to be good at it. Iâd slow you down.â
âYouâll get better fast if Iâm the one teaching you,â Tenko says. âThere are lots of different games. I can teach you to play any of them. Except dating sims.â
âYou donât like playing dating sims?â You fake surprise, and itâs Tenkoâs turn to roll his eyes. âDo you have to test a lot of them?â
âI test whatever people send me. Thatâs why itâll be easy for me to teach you,â Tenko says. âTheyâre all the same underneath. I havenât played one in a long time that was actually a challenge.â
His grip on your hand relaxes slightly, his fingers sliding through yours to lace them together. âI used to really like games. It sucks.â
You squeeze his hand slightly. Youâve been there, or somewhere like it. It took you a long time to get back into art after you joined the NCRA. âHave you ever thought about making one? A game?â
âLike the kind Iâd want to play?â Tenko seems to perk up for a second. Then his shoulders slump. âNobody else would want to play it.â
âIt sounds like youâve got an idea, though.â You nudge him lightly with your shoulder and he stumbles. Oops. âWant to tell me about it?â
He hesitates for a while. A really long while. Then: âItâs mystery and horror, but not jump-scare horror. There are monsters, but they arenât the real problem â or the ones you see arenât the ones you should be worried about. Itâs hard to explain. Anyway, the player character â itâs all going to be second-person â wakes up in a room they donât recognize with no memory of how they got there. You can remember some things about your life, but how you got from where youâre supposed to be to stage one of the game is a total question mark. So there are two initial objectives. Figuring out what the hell is going on and getting the hell out of there.â
âOkay,â you say. It sounds stressful. âHow do you do that? In the game.â
âYou have to find a way out of the building first.â Tenko looks surprised that youâre still asking questions. âAnd thatâs easy enough, so then ââ
For a game he thinks no one else would want to play, Tenkoâs put a lot of thought into it. Heâs still talking about it as the two of you make the turn onto the beach access road â about the storyline of the game, the twists and reveals heâs thought of, the need to tweak the design and color palette to make everything seem just slightly off. The question of music or no music, and if music, what it should sound like. You like hearing him talk about something important to him, something heâs excited about, even if the concept of the game is giving you heart palpitations. You donât think there are many things that make Tenko happy. Youâd like to be one of them.
You get down to the beach at last, and just like you were hoping, itâs basically deserted. The tide is on its slow, steady way back in, but the beach is strewn with logs and twists of seaweed and kelp, and youâre willing to bet that thereâs some sea-glass lying around in the debris along the high-tide line. Tenko studies it, significantly less ambivalent than he was a second ago. âWhen you said thereâd be more stuff, I didnât think you meant trees.â
âA storm can dredge up all kinds of things,â you say. âAnd last nightâs storm was pretty bad. Come on.â
Tenko lets you pull him a little closer to the water, until youâre both walking on hard-packed sand. You get distracted by the debris field almost immediately, and you let go of Tenkoâs hand without thinking so you can search for sea-glass more efficiently. Tenkoâs tone of voice makes it clear heâs amused. âSo this is like a scavenger hunt for you?â
âI guess.â You come up with a brown piece, followed by a green one, both of them old and smooth. âI want to make something for the cafĂŠ. Iâve been collecting it since I moved here.â
âFive years and you still donât have enough?â
âThe idea for the project keeps getting bigger,â you admit. Tenko snorts. âYou can go on ahead if you want. I donât want to slow you down.â
âI want to hang out with you.â Tenko crouches down next to you on the sand. âThis is fine.â
You find multiple pieces in the time it takes him to find one, which he offers to you. Itâs a pretty piece, sky-blue and frosted over, but you shake your head. âYou found it. Itâs yours.â
âI found it for you,â Tenko says, but you notice that he pockets it. And that he keeps looking.
The two of you wander from debris field to debris field, the tide inching up behind you. Youâre comfortable with the silence â itâs how it usually is when heâs at the cafĂŠ, after all â but beneath the veneer of ease, questions are eating at you. Questions you donât know how to ask or how to answer. Your crush on Shimura Tenko is intense, but itâs never been something real. It was just proof that you were getting back to normal, that you could live a life not dominated by the need to prove to the rest of the world that criminals are people, too. You never expected your crush to turn into sleeping with him, him staying the night, him wanting to hang out the next day â and even if you had expected it, youâd never have expected it to happen so fast.
âYou were right,â Tenko says. You glance at him. âNo people. Itâs not as bad.â
You nod. âIâd come back if you wanted to,â Tenko says. He tilts his head, studying you. âDo you want to?â
âDo you want to do all this again?â you ask. He gives you a weird look. âThe whole sex, sleepover, hang out the next day thing?â
âThatâs what people do, isnât it?â Tenkoâs giving you an even weirder look now. âWhat are you talking about?â
âIâm talking about ââ The distress is building beyond what you can handle. You force yourself to take a deep breath. âWhat we are. To each other. After that.â
Heâs not giving you a weird look anymore. Heâs looking at you like youâre the dumbest person heâs ever met. You feel like the dumbest person anybodyâs ever met, ever. âLike, are we friends with benefits, or ââ
âYou said you like me,â Tenko cuts you off. âI like you. Do you think I just â with anybody? Iâve been here for five fucking years. Do you know how many people have my phone number? One. The day that hero showed up, I never would have come back, except ââ
His hand comes up, scratching his neck with gloved fingers. âI wouldnât do this if I didnât like you. Why do you think it took me so long?â
It? What is he talking about? âI do like you,â you say. âI really like you. I just didnât think anything would happen. Or happen that fast.â
âHooking up like that was your idea,â Tenko says. You donât want to own up to that, but itâs true â he was the one who kissed you, but you were the one who suggested heading back to your room. âDo you wish we hadnât?â
âI wish Iâd been better prepared,â you admit. Tenko blinks. âIf I had condoms things wouldnât have been as messy.â
âI like it messy.â Tenko states it so plainly that you feel your face heat up. âWeâll get condoms. You can stop freaking out whenever you want.â
âIâm not freaking out,â you say. âI just ââ
The scream comes out of nowhere, cutting off a thought you didnât have a prayer of articulating properly. âHelp!â
Itâs a kidâs voice, high-pitched and splitting with fear. You canât identify where itâs coming from, and thereâs not even a question of what youâll do. You and Tenko trade a glance, then rocket to your feet. Tenko takes off down the beach. You head back the way you came. âKeep yelling!â you shout to the kid. âLet us know where you are!â
The kid keeps yelling, getting steadily less coherent. They must be closer to you than to Tenko, because their voice is getting louder. You veer closer to the waterâs edge, your heart in your throat. The waterâs already rushing up around the logs the storm left behind, up to your ankles and getting higher. The kidâs scream takes on a new urgency. âHurry! The waves ââ
You skitter around a log, giving it a wide berth to avoid the deeper pool of water beneath it, and find the kid, halfway trapped under another log and struggling to keep his head above water. He spots you, opens his mouth to scream again, and catches a mouthful of seawater from the wave thatâs just rolled in.
You duck down beside him, hoisting his head and shoulders up, buying time. You suck down a breath and let loose a shout of your own. âTenko! Over here!â
It seems like an eternity before he appears around the side of the log. He looks at the kid, then at you. âWhat the hell happened?â
The kid is crying too hard to answer, but itâs not hard to guess. âHe must have been climbing on the log, and it rolled over on him.â
âWhat were you doing out here alone?â Tenko demands of the kid. The kid doesnât answer, and Tenkoâs red eyes flash with rage. âWho was supposed to take care of you? Why arenât they here?â
âHey,â you snap. This isnât helping. âI need you to call emergency services. Tell them weâre at Fourth Beach and thereâs a kid in trouble.â
Tenko pulls out his phone and dials, while you try to strategize. The tide is coming in faster now. Even if emergency services gets here at their top speed, thereâs a good chance the water will have already covered the kidâs head. Based on the way heâs panicking, you donât think he has a quirk that lets him breathe underwater, and you have a fleeting thought about heroes before remembering that youâre in a rural town. There are no heroes here. You and Tenko are going to have to get him out yourselves.
Your quirk is worse than useless for this. You donât know what Tenkoâs quirk is, or if he even has one. Tenko shoves his phone in his pocket and hurries back to your side. âThey said theyâre coming.â
âHow long?â
âTen minutes.â
The kid doesnât have ten minutes, and all three of you know it. âHereâs what Iâm thinking,â you say, trying to keep your voice calm. âWhen the next wave comes in, we can use its momentum to roll the log forward and pull him out from underneath it.â
âItâs huge,â Tenko says. âThat wonât work.â
âIt rolled from him stepping on it,â you say. âWe can do this.â
Tenko doesnât argue with you. He turns to watch the waves, looking for a likely one, while you explain the situation to the boy. Heâs going to have to hold his breath while you and Tenko push the log, and then one of you â probably you â will pull him out. He starts to protest, but then Tenko calls out that a waveâs coming up, and the boy switches to sucking down air instead. Good. You hold him up until the last possible moment, then get to your feet. You take up a position at Tenkoâs side, set your feet as firmly as youâre able to in the shifting sand, and shove hard at the log as the wave washes up around it.
You think you feel it move, a little bit. But then the water recedes, and you scramble back to the kid, and as soon as his head breaks the surface, he howls in pain. âMy leg!â
You must have rolled the log back on it â or forward, or something. âWe need a bigger wave.â
Tenko shakes his head. He looks like heâs going to be sick. You can hear sirens in the distance, but theyâre too far away. The kid is screaming, clawing at your shirt, and you struggle to comfort him, promising that help is coming, promising itâll be okay. It doesnât work, or else what happened to his leg in your failed attempt to move the log is worse than you thought, because his eyes roll up in his head and he goes boneless in your grip. You shake him, terrified, desperate to keep his head above water as another wave crashes against your back. Heâs going to die. A kid is going to die while youâre holding him, and thereâs nothing you can do.
You canât look at his pale, slackened face a second longer. You look up instead, and thatâs when you see the solitary crack running across the logâs surface.
It wasnât there before, and now itâs not alone. One crack turns into a dozen, and dozens more, spreading and colliding with each other until the log simply crumbles away, leaving nothing in its place. Nothing except Tenko on the other side, both hands outstretched â and ungloved.
Something twists in the back of your mind, but the kid is free now, and the tide is still coming in. You start dragging him up the beach, trying to get clear of the high-tide line. A quick glance at his leg shows you that itâs broken, badly, but you canât worry about it now, or get lost in the fact that itâs your fault. The two of you make it onto dry sand just in time for a trio of paramedics to race down the beach, carrying a stretcher and pursued by five or six terrified people. âWhat happened?â
âHe got â stuck,â you manage. Your teeth are chattering. You arenât even that cold. âIs he going to be okay?â
The paramedics have questions for you, even as they shoo you out of the way. Did he swallow water? Yes. Did he breathe water in? You donât know. How long has he been unconscious? A minute, maybe less. Time feels uneven, unreal. You donât have a clue whatâs going on, and you stand blankly off to one side, unsure whether youâre supposed to stay or go. Maybe you can go. Everybody knows where to find you if they have questions, and youâll calm down faster if you and Tenko can â
Tenkoâs not standing next to you. You look up and down the beach, but you canât see him anywhere.
Maybe emergency services scared him off. He booked it pretty fast at the sight of Present Mic. You pull your phone out of your pocket to text him, but your phoneâs dripping wet and unresponsive. Now you really need to get home, and maybe Tenkoâs there already. He saved someoneâs life. If heâs freaked out even slightly as much as you are, you want to be with him.
But something is nagging at you as you speed-walk back through town, something about Tenkoâs quirk. You never asked what it was, but the gloves were enough for you to infer that it had something to do with his hands. And maybe he doesnât feel all that comfortable with it. You wouldnât either, if you had a quirk like that. The way it looked, how fast it moved â it was almost like â
You stop dead in your tracks on the side of the road. Tenkoâs gloves. His red eyes. His dyed hair and scarred face and mangled hands, and a quirk that lets him destroy things he touches. Even their initials are the same. Shimura Tenko, and. And. Your mind wonât let you finish the thought. You wonât let yourself jump to conclusions like that. You need to be sure. You force yourself into motion, back to a speed-walk. Then into a run.
Back at home, you drop your phone in a bowl of rice and sit down at the kitchen table with your laptop without bothering to change out of your wet clothes. You havenât been a criminal in half a decade, but you still know how to search the internet like one. This isnât dark-web level, and itâs not illegal, but you could raise red flags, and if youâre right â you connect to a VPN, open a web browser youâve never used before, set your cache to empty every five minutes, and type in your first query.
âshigaraki tomura quirkâ gets you a long list. You have to scroll all the way to the bottom of the first page you click on to find the quirk youâre thinking of, and when you read the description, your heart sinks. You navigate away from the webpage and type in a new prompt. âshigaraki tomura decayâ gets you more pages analyzing the quirk itself, all of which feel unnecessary and unhelpful. You know what Decay is. You need to know what it looked like. You modify the search. âshigaraki tomura decay videoâ.
YouTube has nothing, courtesy of aggressive content moderation. You dig a little deeper, finding lesser-known, sketchier hosting sites, and the first video that pops up is of the destruction of Jaku City, at the very beginning of the war. It happens so quickly â too quickly to see anything except the way the buildings implode into nothing. You need an up-close view, so you modify your search, scrolling past video after blurry video until you find one tagged as part of the Deika City massacre.
The quality looks okay. You click on it and find yourself watching a group of people thundering up a street, headed for something just out of frame. A moment later, whatever it is ducks through the corner of the frame. A pale hand rises up, making contact with the face of one of the people in the group. And then you see it. Cracks spreading across their face, just a few at first, and then they spread so rapidly that the person simply falls apart where they stand.
You just watched a snuff film, but thatâs not what makes you recoil. What Shigaraki Tomura did to the person in that video is the same thing Tenko did to the log on the beach. Itâs the same quirk. Theyâre the same man.
Tenkoâs hair is dyed, and itâs not dyed well. You never asked what his natural color is, but youâre betting itâs white, which is why thereâs no way he can get someone else to color it for him. If he walked into a salon with white hair, red eyes, no eyebrows, and a scar over his right eye, thereâs not a person in Japan who wouldnât recognize him instantly.
You type in another query: âshigaraki tomura faceâ. It turns up a lot of photos of him with the signature hand over his face, but you get at least one without it, and the reason why he wears a mask all the time becomes clear in an instant. No eyebrows â happens. Plenty of people have red eyes. But add in the scar over the left side of Tenkoâs lips, a scar you ran your thumb over last night, and the birthmark Shigaraki has just below the right corner of his mouth, and heâd be unmistakable. No matter how many bad dye jobs he did on his hair.
You shut the lid of your laptop with shaking hands and sit back in your chair. Shimura Tenko, your regular customer, who slept over last night, who you like and who likes you, is the same person as Shigaraki Tomura, an unrepentant supervillain whoâs been dead for five years. It doesnât make any sense. If Shigaraki had survived the war, heâd be in maximum-security prison for the rest of his life, not beta-testing video games and hanging out in your coffee shop. Shigaraki Tomura is dead. You met the hero who killed him.
Or did he? You remember thinking how odd it was that Deku kept referring to Shigaraki watching what he was doing, wishing he could talk to him. You remember what he said when Spinner asked about Shigarakiâs ashes: There was nothing left of Shigaraki Tomura. But somebody else walked away from that fight, and heâs got Shigarakiâs quirk â and the only time youâve seen him use it, it was to save someoneâs life. You canât say for sure, but the circumstantial evidence is compelling as hell. You know who Shimura Tenko is. And youâre halfway convinced he used to be Shigaraki Tomura.
You fish your phone out of the bowl of rice to check if itâs working yet. It isnât. Youâre going to have to wait a little longer to reach out to Tenko. His backpack and laptop are still here. Heâll be back for them, probably tonight â and if not, youâll see him at the cafĂŠ tomorrow, and you can give it to him then. And when you see him again, you can sort this out. Thereâs nothing else you can do right now.
You tell yourself that, make yourself believe it, and spend the rest of your one day off every week getting your chores done. And even though itâs been an exhausting twenty-four hours, even though thereâs nothing you can do, you still toss and turn through the night, thinking about Tenko. Worrying about him. Wondering who he was before this, and wondering at how little it matters to you.
the new postmodern age (chapter one) - a Shigaraki x f!Reader fic
Written for @threadbaresweater's follower milestone event, and the prompt 'a day at the beach'! Congratulations on the milestone, and thanks for giving me a chance to write this fic.
dividers by @enchanthings
Before the war, you were nothing but a common criminal, but in the world that's arisen from the ashes, you got a second chance. Five years after the final battle between the heroes and the League of Villains, you run a coffee shop in a quiet seaside town, and you're devoted to keeping your customers happy. Even customers like Shimura Tenko, who needs a second chance even more than you did -- and who's harboring a secret that could upend everything you've tried to build. Will you let the past drag both of you down? Or will you find a way, against all odds, to a new beginning? (cross-posted to Ao3)
Chapters: 1 2
Chapter 1
You believe in second chances.
Before the war, you were living on the margins, just like the rest of even the pettiest criminals were. No one would hire someone with a record, even if the record was for something nonviolent, and that meant that you were always hungry, always freezing in the winter and getting heatstroke in the summer, always one step away from doing something worse and getting put away for good. You were going nowhere fast, and no matter how hard you tried, you couldnât get back on your feet. It was a struggle to get up in the morning.
But after the war, something changed. Not a lot, but enough, because after a heartfelt public plea from the hero who saved the day, the world decided to care a little bit about people like you. The government passed new anti-discrimination laws, including one banning hiring discrimination against people with criminal records, and for nonviolent criminals like you, they opened up an extra opportunity â a choice between job training or a startup loan for a small business, so you could pay down your fines and restitution while adding something good to society. Sure, it was all in the name of preventing new villains from being created, but youâll take it. You took it, picked up a loan, moved out of the city to a small town on the coast, and decided to open up a coffee shop.
Youâre not really sure why you picked a coffee shop. Maybe because the town you moved to didnât have one yet, or maybe because you used to hang out in them a lot when you had nowhere else to go. And the program youâre part of worked exactly like it was supposed to. You had to hire people to help you get the building you chose up to code, and that meant you met people in your new community. You showed those people that the criminals they hated were people, too. Youâve paid most of your fines and youâre able to break even anyway, and even though thereâs a sign on the door telling everyone that youâre a convicted felon and you have to answer any questions youâre asked about it, you have customers.
Not just customers â regulars. People whose kids youâve seen grow up, people who talk to you when they see you out and about. After five years of trying, youâve finally carved out a place where you belong. So yeah, you believe in second chances. How could you not?
You stand back from your front window, admiring the latest addition. Thereâs the sign identifying your business as one sponsored by the Nonviolent Criminal Reintegration Act, but just above it, youâve added a bigger sign: Free Internet Access. Osono, whose bakery makes the pastries you sell, studies it alongside you. âFree access? Shouldnât it be access with purchase?â
âI thought about it a lot, but no.â Youâre sort of lying. You thought about it for two seconds and that was it. âThis is better.â
âItâll attract riff-raff.â
Thatâs the kind of comment that used to really piss you off, but you know Osono. You know itâs just a blind spot, and you know how to respond. âMost things are online these days. Job applications, apartment listings, information on government assistance. When I was in trouble before, free internet access would have helped me a lot. And I usually bought something anyway, even if it was just a cup of coffee.â
âNot a pastry?â Osono nods at the trays stacked on her cart, and you remember that sheâs waiting for you to open the door. Oops. You unlock it in a hurry and prop it open with a rock you pulled up from the beach. âWhere were you getting food?â
âWherever I could.â You were hungry a lot. And sick a lot, because sometimes you had to eat things that were expired. You donât like to think about that very much. âI stole sometimes so I wouldnât starve. Iâve paid it all back by now.â
âYou know how to take responsibility,â Osono says. She slides back the door on your pastry case without asking and starts loading things in. âI wish more of them were like you.â
âMost of us are,â you say, as gently as you can manage. âWe just need a fighting chance.â
Sometimes people forget that youâre a criminal, that youâll carry your record around for the rest of your life. You canât let them forget. Osono nods in the way that tells you sheâs humoring you and lifts a tray of pastries you havenât seen before out of the cart. âThese are a new recipe Iâm trying out. What do you think?â
âTheyâre pretty,â you say. âIs that chocolate in the filling?â
âAnd cinnamon. They arenât vegan, but there arenât any common allergens in them.â Osono passes you the recipe anyway, and you scribble down the ingredients on the back of the name card youâre making, just in case someone asks. âTell me how they do, all right? If they sell decently Iâll add them to my rotation.â
âWill do.â You help her with the last few trays. âThanks, Osono. Say hi to the kids and Naoki for me?â
âWill do.â Osono wheels the cart back out the door, then pauses to study the internet access sign. âGood luck with this.â
âThanks.â
You wait until the delivery van pulls away before you start rearranging the pastries to your preferred setup. You add ânew arrivalâ to the label for the new pastry, then touch the lettering to turn it a pleasant but eye-catching green before placing it front and center in the case. Then you set up your espresso machine, wake up the cash register, switch on the lights and take down the chairs from the tops of the tables â and only then do you switch on the other sign in your window. Itâs seven am. Skyline Coffee and Tea is open for business.
Itâs grey and cold, and the low tide is closer to noon today, which means youâre in for a busy morning as the people who walk the beach daily stop in for food and coffee first. Only one person orders one of the new pastries, but almost everyone comments on the free internet access. They say the same kind of thing Osono said, and you say the same thing you said to her if they hold still long enough for you to answer. You say it nicely. Itâs an effort to say it nicely, sometimes, but itâs worth doing.
Past noon, things slow down a bit. You decide to speed-clean the espresso machine, and youâre so focused on your work that you donât notice the customer. Itâs possibly also the customerâs fault, since heâs peering at you from over the pickup counter instead of standing by the cash register, and when he barks the question at you, it startles you badly. âWhatâs the password?â
âOn the WiFi?â You tuck your burned hand behind your back. âNo password. Find a place to sit down and have at it.â
The customer looks disconcerted. Or at least you think he does â the lower half of his face is covered with a surgical mask, and given that he doesnât have eyebrows, itâs hard to read his expression. âWhy?â
âWhy isnât there a password?â You havenât gotten that question yet. âI want people to be able to use it if they need it.â
âTheyâre gonna watch porn.â
âMe putting a password on the WiFi wouldnât stop that,â you say. âAnd Iâm not the internet police. If somebody starts acting up, Iâll deal with it. If not â just use headphones.â
The customerâs expression twists. âI didnât mean me.â
âSure.â Youâre not a moron. âItâs not my business what you do. Unless your business starts messing with my business. Seriously. Knock yourself out.â
The customer turns away, and you spend a second being extremely grateful that you went for single-occupancy bathrooms instead of multiple-stall bathrooms before you go back to cleaning the espresso machine. Your hand hurts, but itâs nothing running it under cold water wonât fix later. When you straighten up, thereâs someone at the counter.
Itâs porn guy, who you really shouldnât call porn guy. Innocent until proven guilty and all that. You dry your hands and hurry over. âWhat can I get for you today?â
âBlack coffee.â
âSure. Anything else?â
The customer glances at the pastry case and shakes his head. Then his stomach growls. He knows you heard it. What little of his face is visible above the mask turns red. âNo.â
âTell you what,â you say. âIâve got these new pastries the bakery wants me to try out, but next to nobodyâs tried one yet. If you agree to tell me how it was, you can have it half off.â
âI have money.â The customer shoves a credit card across the counter to you, and you see that heâs wearing fingerless gloves. Or sort of fingerless gloves. Theyâre missing the first three fingers on each hand. âI donât need help.â
âNo, but youâre helping me out.â You add the pastry to his order and discount it by half, then fish it out of the case with a pair of tongs. âFor here or to go?â
âHere.â The customer watches as you set it on a plate. âWhat is that?â
âItâs babka.â
âI can read. What is it?â
âI donât really know,â you admit. Maybe thatâs why people arenât buying them. âThe fillingâs chocolate and cinnamon, though. Itâs hard to go wrong with that. Itâll be just a second with the coffee.â
You fill a cup, then point out the cream and sugar. Then you realize you still havenât tapped the customerâs card. You finish ringing up the order and glance at the cardholderâs name. Shimura Tenko. He hasnât been in before today. Youâre not the best with faces, but you never forget a name.
Shimura Tenko sets up shop at the booth in the farthest corner, and although you sneak by once or twice to check on him, youâre pretty sure heâs not watching porn. People donât usually take notes when theyâre watching porn. It looks like heâs working or something. Working remote, but he doesnât have internet access at home? Or maybe he does, and heâs just looking for a change of scenery. Thatâs a normal thing to do. A change of scenery is one thing Skyline Coffee and Tea is equipped to provide.
Speaking of that, itâs been a while since you changed out the mural on the cafĂŠâs back wall. Your quirk, Color, lets you change the color of any object you touch, and choose how long the color sets. Youâve used it for a lot of things over the years, but now you mainly use it to create new murals every few months or so. The back wallâs been a cityscape since the fall, when you saw a picture of Tokyoâs skyline at night and got inspired. Maybe this weekend youâll switch it out for something a little softer. If people wanted the city, theyâd stay there instead of coming here.
Customers come in and out, a few lingering for conversations or to test out the free WiFi, but Shimura Tenko stays put, somehow making a single cup of black coffee last until you give the fifteen-minute warning that youâre closing up shop. Another person might be pissed about someone hanging out so long without buying anything else, but youâve been there. You let it go, except to ask him how the babka was as heâs on his way out the door. He throws the answer back over his shoulder without looking your way. âIt was fine. Nothing special.â
Fine, sure. When you go back to clear his table, you find the plate it was on wiped clean. Thereâs not even a smear of the filling left.
âCheck this place out!â Your probation officer leans across the counter, eyes bright, out of costume and way too enthusiastic for eight in the morning. âItâs looking great in here. You changed something. New color scheme? New uniform?â
âNope.â You donât get nervous for your check-ins, but you donât like the fact that theyâre random. Todayâs not a good day. âThereâs some new stuff on the menu, and in the pastry case. Maybe thatâs it.â
âNo,â Present Mic says, drawing out the word. He turns in a slow circle, then whips back around with a grin. âWhen did you repaint that wall?â
âI didnât paint it,â you say. Itâs best to be honest. âI used my quirk. Iâm not making money off of it and itâs not hurting anyone, so it falls within the terms of my probation.â
âTake it easy there, listener. Iâm not trying to bust you,â Present Mic says. Heroes always say that. You know better than to buy it. âIt looks good. Really brightens the place up.â
âI thought it could use it,â you say. âItâs kind of a rough time of year.â
Cold weather always brings you lots of customers, but people are sharper, unhappier, and if theyâre in the mood to take it out on someone, they pick somebody who canât make a fuss or hit back. Somebody like you. Youâve learned not to take it personally. âNot too rough financially. Youâve made all your payments on time. I checked.â Present Mic is peering into the pastry case. âHowâs that free internet access thing going for you?â
âNot so bad,â you say. âThe connectionâs pretty fast, so I get people in here who are taking online classes, or working remote. Iâve only had to kick one person out for watching porn.â
âYeah, he filed a complaint,â Present Mic says, and your stomach drops. âYou made the right call. Donât worry.â
Youâre going to worry. Itâs going to take all day for that one to wear off. âI havenât had problems with it otherwise.â
âWhyâd you do it?â Present Mic gives you a curious look. âFree stuff brings all kinds of people out of the woodwork. Why give yourself the headache?â
âI want this to be the kind of place I needed,â you say. âSomewhere safe where nobody would kick me out if I couldnât buy more than one cup of coffee, where I could use the internet without getting in trouble for it. A headacheâs worth that to me.â
Itâs quiet for a second, but Present Mic being Present Mic, it doesnât last. âYou really turned a corner, huh? Hard to believe you were ever on the wrong side of the law.â
âWe all could be there,â you say. âIt only takes one mistake.â
Present Mic sighs. âYouâre telling me. Did you catch the news last week?â
âThe thing with Todoroki Touya?â The surviving members of the League of Villains all went through their own rehab, and theyâre on permanent probation â and last weekend, Todoroki Touya, formerly known as Dabi, lit somebodyâs motorcycle on fire after they followed him for six blocks, harassing him the whole way. âI saw. Is he getting revoked?â
âNope. The other guy was way out of line, and the panel ruled that the majority of people â former villains or not â would have reacted similarly under that kind of pressure.â Present Mic rolls his shoulders, and his leather jacket squeaks. âAll I can say is, heâs lucky weâre in the business of second chances these days. Or fifth chances.â
âWhy so many?â you ask. âThe rest of us are on three strikes, youâre out.â
âYeah, but you have to mess up a lot worse for it to count as a strike,â Present Mic points out. âIf I had to guess, Iâd say itâs a guilt thing. This whole rehab thing is Dekuâs idea. And Deku never got over what happened with Shigaraki.â
Members of the League of Villains died leading up to the final battle, but of the five who made it that far, only one of them was dead at the end of the war â Shigaraki Tomura, their leader. To most people, it was good riddance to the greatest evil Japan has ever seen, but Dekuâs always been publicly against that viewpoint. Insistent that All For One was the true villain. Regretful that the war ended with Shigarakiâs death, too. âSince he couldnât save him, heâs stuck on saving the other four,â Present Mic continues. âWhich equals infinite chances. So far Todorokiâs the only one whoâs needed them.â
You nod. Present Mic stretches. âLetâs take a walk,â he decides. âIâll buy coffee for both of us.â
âI canât leave,â you say. âI donât have anybody else to watch this place. If a customer comes by ââ
âHalf an hour, tops. Come on.â Present Mic produces a wallet from the inside of his leather jacket. âThe sooner we leave, the sooner you can come back.â
You lock up, hating every second of it, and follow Present Mic into the cold, a to-go cup of your own coffee in your hands. Present Mic runs through the usual list of questions, the ones that cover your mindset as much as they cover your progress on your program requirements. Some of them are about how youâre getting along with the civilians in town, and you know heâll be checking in with some of your customers, seeing if their perception lines up with yours. It feels invasive. Intrusive. Some part of you always pushes back. You always quiet it down. You made this bed for yourself, coming up on a decade ago. Now you have to lie in it.
âIâve got some news,â Present Mic says, once heâs finished with the questions. âThe programâs considering early release for some of the participants.â
âWhy?â
âThe legislative reviewâs coming up, and they want success stories,â Present Mic says. âYou know, people who clawed their way out of the criminal underworld to become productive members of society. Iâm putting your name on the list.â
You almost drop your coffee. âReally?â
âYeah,â Mic says. He seems taken aback by your surprise. âI mean â youâre kind of who this thing was designed for, listener. You caught your first charge when you were underage, for a nonviolent crime, and the rest of your case is a perfect example of just one of the many problems Deku wonât shush about. Now look at you. Youâve got your own business, youâre paying back your debt to society, youâre participating in civilian life. There are civilians who donât do that much.â
Of course they donât. Actual civilians donât have to prove they have a right to exist. âIf youâre approved for early release, the government will waive interest on your startup loan, and I heard a rumor that theyâre considering wiping charges off peopleâs records,â Mic continues. âItâs a pretty good deal, listener. And youâre making a pretty weird face.â
âSorry,â you say, trying to fix it. âI mean â felonies are a forever thing. They donât get wiped.â
âItâs just a rumor,â Mic says, and pats your shoulder. âEven if that doesnât pan out, you could use a break on the interest. Anyway, itâs not a sure thing, but I put your name up. Youâve got as good a shot as anybody.â
You think thatâs probably true, which is weird to think about. Youâve been behind the eight ball since you were in high school. Present Mic throws down the rest of his coffee, then turns back the way the two of you came. âLetâs go. I saw a pastry I wanted to buy, and I bet you have a customer or two.â
Youâve heard things about other program participantsâ probation officers taking things without paying, but you got lucky with Present Mic â he always pays. Sometimes he even gives you a hard time for setting your prices too low. And heâs right about the customers. When you get back, one of your regulars is sitting cross-legged, leaning back against the locked door with his hood up and his laptop open.
Itâs Shimura Tenko, who you never saw before you started offering free internet, and whoâs turned into a regular ever since. The two of you donât talk the way you do with some of your other regulars â something about the mask and the hood and the gloves tells you that Shimura isnât looking to make friends. But he shows up two or three times a week, orders black coffee, and camps out in the corner of the cafĂŠ until closing time. Sometimes you can talk him into a pastry, and itâs always a babka. Whether he orders one or not, heâs always hungry when he comes in.
Shimura looks up as you and Present Mic approach. His eyes narrow, then widen abruptly, almost comically shocked. Then he slams his laptop shut, rockets to his feet, and books it, vanishing down the street and around the corner. You feel a surge of frustration. âCan you not scare my customers?â
âIâm out of costume. Even when Iâm in, nobodyâs scared of me.â Present Mic is lying. Youâd have been scared out of your mind to run into him back in the day. âDamn, that guy was skittish. Whatâs his deal?â
âHeâs one of my regulars.â Was one of your regulars, probably. People donât react the way Shimura just did and come back for more. You unlock the door, feeling strangely dispirited. âWhich pastry were you thinking about?â
Present Mic sticks around for an hour or so, long enough to talk to a few customers who donât run away from him. Most of your regulars have seen him before. He leaves a little bit before noon, after eating three pastries he paid for, and as usual, the cafĂŠ quiets down in the afternoon. You donât mind. Today wasnât a good day even before Mic put in a surprise appearance and scared off a customer for good. Days like today, youâd rather have the place to yourself.
Sometimes in the midst of proving youâre a model citizen to anybody who looks your way, you forget that thereâs a reason you werenât. It wasnât a good reason. Your family wasnât rich, but you always had what you needed and some of what you wanted. Your parents werenât perfect, but they loved you. You werenât the most popular kid at school, but you always had someone to talk to. And none of that mattered, because you felt hollow and miserable and lonely no matter what else was going on around you.
Nothing you did or said could make you feel better. Everything felt the same, and everything felt awful, and no matter how hard you tried to explain, to ask for help, to raise the alarm, you couldnât get your point across. You had a good life. What did you have to complain about?
The judge who handed you your first conviction said pretty much exactly that. Youâve heard that the sentencing guidelines for minors have changed, that untreated mental health issues are considered a mitigating factor these days, but back then it didnât matter at all. You got help at some point. You take your meds like youâre supposed to, and you did therapy until you realized the people who monitor your probation were reading your notes. And youâre older now. You know the hollow feeling goes away. But that doesnât mean itâs any easier to tolerate when itâs here.
Youâre hanging out behind the counter, staring at your most recent mural and wishing youâd chosen something less cheerful than the field of wildflowers thatâs currently decorating it, when the door opens. You barely have time to get your game face on before Shimura Tenko steps up to the counter. âUm ââ
âHow many heroes are you friends with?â Shimura asks shortly.
âIâm not friends with Present Mic,â you say. âThat was a spot check. Heâs my probation officer.â
Shimura blinks. He has crimson eyes and dark lashes, matching his dark hair. âHuh?â
âMy probation officer,â you repeat. âIâm a convicted felon.â
âDonât lie. Theyâd never let a convicted felon run a coffee shop.â
âI got a loan,â you say. âThrough the Nonviolent Criminal Rehabilitation Act. It says so on the sign.â
âYour sign says free internet access.â
âUnderneath that.â You wonder if itâs really possible that Shimura didnât see the other sign. Maybe he was just too hyped at the prospect of free internet to look any harder. âHow long have you lived here?â
âFive years.â Shimura looks defensive now. âWhatâs it to you?â
Five years, and you never saw him before today. He must keep to himself. âNothing. I just â I thought everybody around here knew. Iâm not very quiet about it. Iâm not allowed to be.â
âWhy not?â
You donât want to do this right now, but rules are rules. âPart of the Reintegration Act involves educating civilians about where criminals come from â like, how a person goes from you to me.â
Shimura snorts. Itâs rude, but not anywhere close to the rudest thing someoneâs done to you when you talk about this. âThe government thinks the people who are best equipped to educate about this are the actual criminals, so Iâm legally obligated to answer any questions people ask me â about my record, about why I did it, about the program and why Iâm doing that. So they understand whatâs happening and why itâs happening. For transparency.â
âAnd that means anybody can question you, any time,â Shimura says, eyes narrowing.
âYep. Stop, drop, and educate.â You wait, but heâs quiet, and youâre tired enough and hollow enough that the suspense gets to you first. âYou can ask what I did. I have to tell you.â
Shimura nods â but then he doesnât ask. About that, at least. âItâs dead in here. Did Present Mic clear everybody else out?â
âNo. It gets quiet on sunny days when the tideâs low.â You nod through the window, and the sliver of beach visible between the buildings across the street. âI was thinking about closing early.â
âWhy?â Shimuraâs voice holds the faintest shadow of a sneer. âTo walk on the beach?â
To lay facedown on your bed and wait for tears that wonât come, and wonât make you feel any better if they do. âNow youâre here, so Iâm open. Do you want the usual?â
Shimura hesitates. Then he shakes his head. âGo home.â
âIâm open,â you repeat. You donât want him to complain to Present Mic like the actual porn guy did. âDo you want the usual or do you feel like something new?â
âThe usual.â
âCome on,â you say. He glares at you over his mask. Thereâs an old scar over his right eye. âThereâs nobody here. Nobodyâs going to catch you drinking something that actually tastes good.â
âThe usual,â Shimura Tenko says, and crosses his arms over his chest. âAnd ââ
He glances at the pastry case, and you see his expression shift into disappointment. It makes you sadder than it should, but you can fix it easily. You slide the babka you saved on the faint hope that heâd come back out of hiding and into full view. âOne of these?â
Shimura stares at it for a full fifteen seconds before he looks up at you. âYou saved it for me.â
âYeah.â You pride yourself on knowing what your regulars like. You donât want someone you see a few times a week to leave unsatisfied. âOne babka and one black coffee, coming up.â
Shimura holds out his card, then hesitates. Youâve never seen him look uncertain at all. âAnd whatever you think tastes better than black coffee. One of those.â
âReally?â You canât hide your surprise, or what an unexpected lift it is for your mood. âYou wonât regret it. Which flavors do you like?â
âI donât care.â Shimura waits while you swipe his card, then tucks it away. âThis was your idea. Iâm going â over there.â
He gestures at the back corner. âI know where you like to sit,â you say. âIâll bring it out.â
As soon as he leaves, you get to work. You need to nail this. Heâll laugh at you if you bring him a tea latte, so it needs to have an espresso base. What goes well with babka? You already have chocolate and cinnamon on board â what about caramel, or hazelnut? Does he even like sweet things? He must, if he keeps ordering the damn babka. Maybe hazelnut, but what if heâs allergic? You pitch your voice to carry and see him startle. âDo you have any allergies?â
âNot to food.â
You wonder what heâs actually allergic to as you start pulling espresso shots for a chocolate hazelnut mocha. You really hope Shimura likes Nutella, because thatâs exactly what this is going to taste like. Using bittersweet chocolate syrup instead of milk chocolate fixes it partway, but when you pour off a tiny bit to try it, it still tastes a lot like something youâd eat out of a jar with a spoon.
Whatever. Youâre committed now. You donât have a choice. You pour it into a cup, make some vague gesture at foam art, and carry it and the black coffee through the empty cafĂŠ to Shimuraâs table. âOne black coffee and one drink that actually tastes good.â
Shimura eyes the second cup. âWhatâs in there?â
âYou said you didnât care.â
âYeah, well, now that I know youâve done time Iâm not sure I can trust you,â Shimura says, and you lock your expression down. That one hurt. A lot. He drags the cup towards himself with his right hand and lifts it to his mouth as he pulls down his mask with his left, but youâve lost interest in the outcome. You turn and head back to the counter, trying not to feel like someoneâs slapped you in the face and convincing yourself at least a little that it works.
You screw around behind the counter, taking inventory and counting down the minutes until last call, but Shimuraâs back at the counter with forty-five minutes to go, an empty cup in his hand. Itâs not the cup you put the black coffee in. âFine. You win. I want another one of these.â
âYep.â You set your clipboard aside and head back to the cash register to ring him up. âFor here or to go?â
âHere.â
âIâm closing soon. To-goâs probably better.â
âAre you kicking me out?â Shimura asks. You look up at him, make eye contact, and whatever he sees in your face sets him off. Not in the way you thought it would. âBefore, about the doing time thing. You know I was kidding, right?â
âSure you were. Do you want a receipt?â
âHey,â Shimura snaps. âIt was a joke.â
âNot a good one.â
âYeah, it was. If you ââ Shimura breaks off, his scowl clear even from behind the mask. âLook, Iâm sorry, okay? I wouldnât have said that if I didnât get it.â
âGet it,â you repeat. âYouâve done time?â
âYeah.â Shimura Tenko covers the back of his neck with one hand. âNo charges, but â yeah, I did time. So itâs funny.â
âItâs still not funny.â You lift the empty cup out of Shimuraâs hands and turn to start making a second Nutella-esque mocha, trying to decide if you feel better or not. âItâs just not mean.â
A shadow falls across you as you work. Shimuraâs following you along the edge of the counter. âSo am I getting kicked out or what?â
âYes,â you say. âIn forty-five minutes, when I close.â
Shimuraâs eyes crinkle ever so slightly at the corners. You wonder what his smile looks like under that mask, but youâve got espresso shots to pull, and you need to focus if you donât want to burn your hand. You look away, and when you look back again, heâs at his table, laptop open, mask on, chin propped in his gloved hand. No charges, but heâs done time. You didnât expect that. Even though youâve spent the last five years of your life trying to prove that youâre no different than anybody else, it still catches you by surprise to learn that one of your customers is like you.
You bring the second drink by his table, then start working through your closing checklist. He stands up with five minutes to go, just like clockwork. He leaves without another word, as usual, but when you step outside, heâs still standing there. âYou didnât ask why.â
Why he did time? âNeither did you,â you say.
âYeah, but I wonât break probation if I donât answer.â
âItâs the principle of the thing,â you say. Itâs not quite dark, but the sunâs almost down, and the shadows are growing long. Late March already, but it feels like youâve got a long way to go before spring. âIf I want people who meet me to look at the person I am now, I have to do the same thing for them.â
Shimura Tenko makes a sound, half-laughter and half-scoffing. âThey sure did a number on you,â he says. You turn and walk away, and his footsteps follow yours. âHey. Come on. Thereâs no way youâre that sensitive.â
âIâm not,â you say. âIâm just having a bad day.â
A bad day, and you never get a day off. Even if the cafĂŠâs not open, youâre still in sunshine mode every second, making sure that the people who want to treat you like a criminal look absolutely insane for doing it. You fought hard for this life. Youâre glad you fought for it. And today more than usual, youâre just really tired. âIâll see you later, okay?â
âYeah,â Shimura says. Youâre glad he doesnât try to apologize again. You know it would be painfully insincere. âHow did you know?â
âHmm?â
âThe pastry. How did you know Iâd come back?â
âI didnât,â you say. âI just hoped you would.â
You donât know why you hoped. Maybe because heâd clearly been waiting a while when you and Present Mic got back. Maybe because you remember how much it mattered to have somewhere else to go, whether you had a place of your own or not. Maybe because youâve gotten sort of a sense of him over the past few months, and you know heâs the kind of person who pretends not to want the things he wants. Wanting the coffee shop he hangs out in to be open and to have his favorite pastry available is such a reasonable thing to want. You were hoping heâd come back so you could give it to him.
Shimura doesnât say anything. You keep walking, and he doesnât follow you. When you glance back over your shoulder as you round the corner, you see him standing just outside of Skyline Coffee and Tea, staring intently at something. You canât say for sure. But youâre pretty sure itâs the sign that explains about the NCRA.
A while back, you read that some countries set aside two days to commemorate a war. One day to celebrate that it ended, another to mourn that it happened at all. When it comes to the war you lived through, Japan does things differently. Thereâs just one day, a national holiday, where every government office closes and most businesses do, too. For most people, itâs a day to celebrate. There are carnivals, street fairs, concerts, parties. Itâs been a holiday for exactly four years and a whole host of traditions have already sprung up around it.
But thereâs one person who never celebrates, and it didnât take you long to come around to his way of thinking. On April 4th, the fifth annual Day of Peace, you close the cafĂŠ early and make the trek to Kamino Ward.
Youâre not sure how Kamino Ward became the place. Maybe because the final battlefieldâs been overtaken by celebrations, and at least some people still see Kamino as hallowed ground. The place where the Symbol of Peace made his last stand. The place where the Symbol of Fear passed the torch onto his successor. You get there a little while before sunset, and you join the hundreds of people whoâve already gathered there. The crowd looks smaller than it did last year, and it hasnât grown much by the time Midoriya Izuku, known to the world as Deku, climbs onto the steps leading up to the All Might statueâs plinth.
Someone hands him a microphone, which he takes with hands that tremble ever so slightly. Heâs only twenty-one, and he looks old before his time. âIâm here,â he starts, then swallows hard. âIâm here because we didnât win. Not really. If youâre here instead of at a party somewhere, I think itâs probably because you lost something. Something, or someone, who was important to you. Something you canât get back.â
Itâs quiet. Itâs always quiet after he says something like that. âIâd like to think we did something. That we changed for the better,â Deku continues, âbut I think we can only say that if we donât forget what we had to lose for it to happen. So, um â you know the drill. If you brought a candle, great. If you didnât, we have some. You can say the thing you lost if you want â we have a microphone â but when youâre done, light the candle and put it down somewhere that feels right to you.â
He takes a deep breath, lets it go. âAnd then you can go. But Iâll stay until they all burn out.â
People swarmed the first two years. This year they form a line, stepping up to light their candles one by one. You never know what to say when itâs your turn, because itâs not something specific you miss. The way things used to be was awful. You donât miss that, and you werenât close enough to anybody to lose someone who mattered in the war. But April 4th has never felt like a happy day. It feels wrong to you to be setting off fireworks and throwing parties in response to a war that almost destroyed the world.
A lot of people say names when itâs their turn to light a candle. Some say places. Some share an ideal they lost, a hero they venerated who fell from their pedestal, a dream they had that will never come true. Each lost thing named is met with respectful silence. But just like last year and the year before, there are three names that arenât, no matter who says them. âBig Sis Magne. Bubaigawara Jin,â says Toga Himiko as she lights her candle. Say Todoroki Touya and Sako Atsuhiro and Iguchi Shuichi, who still answers to Spinner, as they light theirs. âShigaraki Tomura.â
Thereâs always whispering after their names, especially Shigarakiâs. But Deku always goes last, and Deku always shuts them up. He lights his candle and grasps the microphone, speaking clearly, firmly. âShigaraki Tomura.â
You remember what Present Mic said, about how Deku never got over failing to save Shigaraki. Deku was sixteen when he won the war. Still a kid. Was saving Shigaraki really his job? Maybe thatâs the point of all this. It was everyoneâs job to stop villains like Shigaraki from being created, and you all failed, so it fell to Deku â and he failed, too. Itâs one big, sad, ugly mess. When youâre honest with yourself, youâre not surprised that most people try to cover it up with fireworks.
People begin to filter out of the memorial park, and you find a place to sit down. Itâs not like you have somewhere else to go. The others who say settle in as well, in small groups amidst the rows and clusters of candles. Youâre within earshot of one of the groups. Without meaning to, you find yourself listening in.
âTheyâd have hated this,â Todoroki Touya is saying, his voice low and bitter. âEvery second of it.â
âBig Sis Magne wouldnât have. And Twice would have liked it,â Toga Himiko says. Her voice is soft. âAll the candles. Heâd say itâs like his birthday.â
âYeah. Sure.â Todoroki Touyaâs voice goes even quieter. âDo any of us know when his birthday was?â
Itâs quiet. âShigaraki would hate this,â Todoroki states. âYou know he would. What did he tell you to tell Spinner, Deku?â
Deku doesnât answer. Spinner does. âShigaraki Tomura fought to destroy until the very end.â
âYeah,â Todoroki says. âTo destroy. And Deku made him a martyr.â
âHe destroyed a lot of things,â Deku says quietly. âAll For One is gone. One For All, too â thereâs never going to be another Symbol of Peace. He destroyed the way we saw villains. We donât just get to look at what theyâre doing right now. We have to think about how they got there. And he destroyed how we saw ourselves.â
âYeah?â Spinner says. âHow?â
âWe didnât think we were responsible for other people,â Deku says. âNow we have to be.â
Itâs quiet again. This time itâs quiet for a while. âWhatever,â Todoroki says. âIâm going home. See you all at the next sobfest.â
âHe always says that,â Spinner says, once his footsteps have faded. âHeâs gonna get tanked at home and text us just like he did last year.â
âI miss Tomura-kun,â Toga says, her voice softer than before. âI thought weâd all be together at the end.â
âI know,â Deku says. âIâm sorry.â
âAnd youâre sure ââ Spinner breaks off. âYouâre sure you couldnât get his ashes or something? So we could ââ
âThere was nothing left of Shigaraki,â Deku says. âIâm sorry.â
âYeah,â Spinner says. Toga sniffles. âWe know.â
The group splits, Toga in one direction, Spinner in the other. A moment later, Deku walks past you, and you do everything you can to fade into the background short of turning yourself camo-colored. It doesnât work. âDid you hear all that?â Deku asks. You nod. He sighs, or sniffles, maybe. He looks younger up close. âYou were here last year, right?â
âAnd the year before,â you say. The longer you look at him, the worse shape heâs in. âUm, are you okay?â
âItâs just ââ Dekuâs eyes well up, suddenly. âItâs hard. I canât say what I want to say to them.â
âWhy not?â you ask stupidly, and he shakes his head. âUm â do you want to sit down?â
You wouldnât ask another hero that, but you feel like itâs worth the risk. Even though heâs twenty-one, you canât look at him and see anything other than a kid, and it feels wrong to let a kid stand there and cry. Deku sits down next to you. âI know Iâm not supposed to ask,â he starts, his voice watery, âbut you never say anything when itâs your turn. Most people donât come here. Even the ones who lost somebody would rather be at a party somewhere. Why do you come back?â
You have to think about it for a second. Deku cringes. âSorry. You donât have to answer.â
âI sort of do.â It might hit your probation requirements, and even if it doesnât, you should explain anyway. âWhat you said earlier, in your speech â Iâm one of the people the world got better for. My life would have been awful if it had stayed the same. But in order for me to have this life, we had to have the war.â
âWhat did you do during the war? Were you in a shelter?â
You shake your head. âThe shelters banned people with criminal records,â you say. Dekuâs eyes widen. âNowhere would let me in.â
It wasnât all that different from the way you were living before â not much food, not very safe. The only difference was a sharp increase in the number of abandoned buildings for you to crash in. But it looks like youâre making Deku feel worse, not better, and you scramble into part two of your explanation. âIâm one of the NCRA participants. That program only exists because of the war â and you, because you wonât let people forget why the war happened. So I want to remember why the war happened, too. And I want to honor it. Them.â
âHim,â Deku corrects, and your stomach clenches. âI wonder what he thinks of all of this. If itâs enough. If itâll ever be enough. I mean, obviously itâll never be enough for him, because he doesnât â I mean, I canât ask him, but I know he can see it. I donât know where he is, but if I could just ask him ââ
You didnât realize Deku believed this strongly in the afterlife. You sit quietly, and after a few seconds, he remembers youâre there. He glances at you, embarrassed. âSorry.â
âItâs okay,â you say. âDo you not get to talk about it very much?â
âNo,â Deku admits. âPeople want to move on. And I donât really blame them. But I canât. Not until I know for sure.â
Itâs quiet for a little bit. He wipes his eyes. You watch the candles flicker down a few millimeters more. âYouâre in the NCRA,â Deku says finally. âFor job training, or did you get a loan?â
âI got a loan,â you say. âI run a coffee shop now. With free WiFi.â
âDo people like it?â
âI think so,â you say. You think of the kids who come to study, the people who use the WiFi for remote work, the old people who walk the beach every morning and stop by for coffee and pastry afterwards. âI have regulars, anyway. And people talk to me now. They never used to.â
âPeople talk to me now, too,â Deku says. âItâs nice.â
âYeah,â you agree. âIt is.â
It is, but itâs not quite what you meant, and you donât want to interrupt when Deku starts talking about the NCRA. Itâs not just that people talk to you. They talked to you before, but now they see you â not as a criminal, but as a person like them, minus the squeaky-clean record. Thatâs new, and thatâs good. You know even less about Shigaraki Tomura than Deku does, but even if heâd hate whatâs happened to the world he wanted to destroy, youâre thankful anyway. The world is better now. Itâs better because of Deku, and Dekuâs the way he is because of Shigaraki.
There are fireworks going off over the bay, distant enough that you canât hear the sound. Closer than that, you hear music and laughter from a street party you passed on your way here from the train station. Deku trails off after a while, and you donât speak up again. The two of you sit in silence until the last of the candles burns away.
You get home late, and itâs an early morning opening up the cafĂŠ. Luckily for you, everybody else is also running late courtesy of the holiday yesterday. Osono comes by fifteen minutes off-schedule and full of apologies, and while youâve got your doors open by seven, itâs not until seven-fifty-eight that your first customers come through the door. Itâs a double shot of espresso kind of day, and while youâre pulling them, your customers tell you about the parties they went to last night. When they ask what you did, you tell them you went into the city. Itâs not a lie.
After the slow start, the shop stays quieter than usual, quiet enough that when Shimura Tenko rolls up just past noon, thereâs still plenty of babka left in the pastry case. You start his order before heâs even opened the door â one black coffee, one Nutella-flavored nightmare â and he stops to drop off his stuff at his usual table before he comes up to the counter. You can tell heâs disquieted by something. âDid Present Mic come by and scare everybody off again? How are you going to keep this place open if no oneâs here?â
âMornings are a lot busier than afternoons,â you say. âAnd springâs my quietest season, anyway. No tourists like there are in the summer, and itâs not very cold.â
âYeah.â Shimura glances around, still displeased. âThis place had better stay open.â
âIt will,â you say. âOne shot of espresso or two?â
âThree.â
âThree? Itâs your funeral,â you say, but you pull the extra shot. âLate night last night?â
âI went to a party,â Shimura says. You nod. âIt was my birthday.â
âHappy birthday.â You cancel half his order. You give people a free drink on their birthday, if you know it and they come in. âYour birthday is April 4th? Thatâs a tough draw, especially the last few years.â
âYouâre telling me.â Instead of retreating to his table like usual, Shimura hovers at the bar. âWhat about you? Did you go to a party?â
You shake your head. âI went into the city.â
âWhich city?â
âYokohama,â you admit. Shimuraâs eyes narrow. âI go to the vigil at Kamino. I have every year theyâve done it.â
âReally,â Shimura says, skeptical. âWhy?â
Deku asked you the same question. You have a feeling Shimura wonât like the answer, but itâs the only one you have. âMy life is better than it was before the war, because of what happened in the war. I want to be thankful for that. It doesnât feel right to me to go to a carnival.â
Shimura doesnât say anything, just watches you. It makes you feel weird. âIf Iâd known it was your birthday, though, Iâd have gone to a party for that. It was your birthday way before it was the Day of Peace.â Youâre babbling, and Shimura still hasnât said a word. âNot that youâd invite me to your birthday party or anything.â
âI didnât know youâd want to go,â Shimura says slowly. The espresso machine beeps, and you focus on it way harder than youâd do under ordinary circumstances. âLook, I â it wasnât my party. Just a party. Itâs not like I went in a fucking birthday hat.â
âThat would look pretty weird with your hood still up,â you say. Shimura makes an odd sound. You look up and see the corners of his eyes crinkling again. âStill, though. Iâll remember for next year. Iâll get a cupcake or something. Even if you donât want somebody whoâs done time at your birthday party.â
Shimura laughs at that. Actually laughs. Your chest constricts, filling with warmth in a way that feels out of proportion to the situation at hand. âI only want people whoâve done time at my birthday party,â he says. âDonât try to give me that drink for free. You letting this place go under would be a shitty birthday present.â
âToo late. Itâs already free and Iâm not rerunning the sale.â You pour the black coffee and set it down on the pickup counter, followed by the godawful Nutella drink. âHappy birthday plus one.â
Shimura rolls his eyes, but theyâre still crinkled slightly at the corners. He doesnât respond until heâs already halfway back to the table, and heâs so quiet that you have to strain your ears to hear. âThanks.â
You should say something. Something like âyouâre welcomeâ, or âany timeâ. Something that sounds like good customer service, instead of what youâre worried will come out of your mouth if you open it right now. The conversation is over. Nothing else needs to be said. You turn to face your small workspace, searching for a distraction. There has to be something you can clean.
Itâs been so long since you had a crush that you barely remember what itâs like, but youâre pretty sure you have a crush on Shimura. As far as crushes go, heâs kind of a weird pick â because heâs a customer, because heâs not the friendliest, because he hasnât given any indication that he likes you at all. He likes babka and free internet and the horrible off-menu mocha you make just for him. Thatâs it.
It feels weird to have a crush. Weird in how normal of a thing it is to do, when youâve been so focused on looking normal and pretending to be normal that you havenât done anything actually normal in a while. But maybe this is a good thing, and maybe itâs okay. You might get released early from your NCRA requirements, and even if you donât, youâre doing well. You can afford to like somebody again.
The cafĂŠ stays quiet, and with two hours left before closing time, youâre getting bored. Bored, and you havenât switched out the mural since before your last check-in with Present Mic. Nowâs an okay time for that. You scribble a sign to prop up on the counter â Iâm here, just yell â and head towards the back wall. You have to pass Shimura to get there, and as you do, he looks up. âIâm not looking,â you say. âIâll just be over here.â
âDoing what?â
âA new mural,â you say. âPretend Iâm not here.â
Shimura decides to start right away, and you flex your fingers more out of habit than anything else. Then you set your hand on the wall and activate your quirk, changing the entire wall from the wildflower mural back to the same blank neutral as the others. Thatâs a good start. Now you just need to figure out what youâre going to do with it.
Actual muralists sketch and line their work. They work from references and they draft the design before they actually start painting. You know that because you used to want to be a muralist yourself. You could sketch and line things, but these days youâre more about feelings than anything else, and feelings take color. You block the wall into a few sections â you remember to do that, at least â and fill in general colors, running your fingers along the edges to blur them together. Grey base and sides. Dark-colored middle. The entire upper half of the wall is light. Itâs not until youâve added the half-circle above the horizon that you get a real understanding of what youâre making.
It's another cityscape, or the ruins of one, something you saw in photos or maybe in person. It looks a lot like the sunrise view from Kamino Ward, the sky on fire with deep purple and orange and pink and gold, the reflection of those colors splashed across the sea, the wreckage of the city bathed in morning light. Youâve done enough therapy to psychoanalyze yourself, and itâs not hard to see what you were going for with this. Things are horrible. Things were horrible for a long time before today, but the sun is still rising, and the sunrise is still beautiful. And itâs a lot easier to see now, with all the other stuff out of the way.
âThatâs not paint.â
You werenât expecting Shimura to say anything, and you werenât expecting him to pay attention to what youâre doing. But when you look back over your shoulder, you see him staring, his phone set aside, the lid of his laptop shut. âItâs not paint,â you say. âJust my quirk.â
âHow does it work?â Shimura asks. You turn back to your mural, and you hear him get to his feet. A moment later heâs standing beside you, answering his own question. âYou can change the color of things you touch. And decide how long it stays that way.â
âYeah.â After using it your whole life, youâre pretty good at it. You can fine-tune stuff, enough to add shading to the buildings and the rubble at the sides and bottom of the mural without compromising the light from the sunrise. âNot a very powerful quirk.â
âYou could still cause trouble,â Shimura says. You could. And you did. âThis is how you got your charges, isnât it? Stuff like this.â
âGraffiti? Yeah,â you say. You remember the rush you got the first time you tagged something, the first time you spilled your thoughts and feelings in a way no one could ignore. âExcept when you do that, you get charged with trespassing and vandalism, and when they figure out they canât remove it, you get charged with destruction of property. Throw in malicious unlicensed quirk usage and â boom. Felonies.â
âThatâs stupid.â
âMe or them?â
âGiving somebody a felony for painting stuff on walls.â Shimura studies what youâve done so far. âAll of these have been yours, right? Is this the same stuff you were painting before?â
âNot always,â you say. This conversation falls under your NCRA obligations, but it doesnât feel like itâs the reason Shimuraâs asking â and itâs not the reason youâre telling him. âWhen I first got into it, it was just words or sentences. Stuff I couldnât figure out how to say out loud. The first time I really got busted, it was for tagging the side of my parentsâ house.â
âYour parents called the cops on you?â
âAnd pressed charges,â you say. Heâs staring at you again. You pretend you donât notice and fuss over the shoreline in the mural. âI got better at it when I was older. The art got better, anyway. But I got in more trouble because of where I put it. And I guess what was in it.â
âAnything Iâd have seen?â
âI donât know. Where did you hang around?â you ask. You got booked in most of the big cities in Japan during your criminal career. âUh, I did the UA barrier. The one with the â you know.â
âThe human shields?â Shimura bursts out laughing. âDid you have a sibling in Eraserheadâs class or something?â
âNo, I just thought it was stupid to do the Sports Festival a week after what happened,â you say. Shimura snickers. âIt felt like they were using the kids as props to distract from how much of a mistake theyâd made, and I was mad about a lot of other stuff, too, and â yeah. I kind of went off.â
You really went off. Thereâs no other way to describe triggering the UA barrier on purpose at two am so you could make a crude mural of All Might, Endeavor, Hawks, and Best Jeanist hiding behind a bunch of kids in school uniforms. Shimura is still snickering. âDamn. Iâm surprised they call you nonviolent with how bad you hurt their feelings.â
âThey had to replace the whole barrier,â you say, and Shimura wheezes. âIâm not trying to be funny.â
âNo, but it is funny.â Shimura glances at you over the edge of his mask. âAnd now you run a coffee shop and make things like this.â
He looks away from you, back to the mural. âIs this something real? It looks familiar,â he says. Before you can answer, his eyes widen, and he says it himself. âKamino Ward. Why would you paint it like that?â
âItâs how I see it in my head. Or how I feel it. I donât really know.â You reach out and use the tip of your index finger to highlight one of the buildings thatâs still standing in sunrise gold. âWhat do you think?â
âI donât know.â Shimura reaches out and touches it with one gloved hand. âPeople are going to be pissed at you.â
âIf they recognize it.â Youâre not too worried. âMost people just look at the colors.â
âI recognized it.â
âYouâre not most people.â
You instantly wish you hadnât said a word. Shimura Tenko glances at you quickly, then looks back to the mural. âYeah,â he says. âI was there.â
Your stomach drops. âYou were?â you repeat hopelessly, and he nods without looking your way. âIâm sorry. Itâs â insensitive. Iâll take it down ââ
âNo.â Shimura catches your wrist before you can make contact with the mural. âLeave it. I was gone for this part. Itâs a nice view. The horizon, I mean.â
Thatâs your favorite part, and youâre not even done with it yet. âI still have some stuff to add,â you say. Shimura nods but doesnât let go of your wrist. You pull at it slightly. âI need this back.â
âFuck. Sorry.â Shimura recoils like youâve burned him, then backs away. Way too far away. Youâd say he was making fun of you, except you can see his eyes over the mask, and theyâre expressive in spite of his complete lack of eyebrows. âSorry. I donât usually â touch people.â
âItâs okay.â Your wrist feels tingly where his hand made contact, and there are butterflies in your stomach. He doesnât usually touch people, but he touched you. âThanks for stopping me.â
Shimura turns away completely. âI have to work.â
âYeah. I didnât mean to distract you.â
âI know.â Shimura slides back into his booth. You turn back to put the finishing touches on your mural.
Heâs right about it. In the hour left before you close, at least one customer who trickles in gives you a hard time for putting up something so upsetting. You listen to his concerns, but you stick to your guns, and when he sits down to wait for his order, you see him watching it. Just like Shimura is, the screen of his laptop long since gone dark.
Maybe the one he say he's tired xd
Guys, give me ideas for Shigaraki tattoos!
I'm wanting to get this panel on my forearm, but I wanna see y'all's ideas. đ
Tomura is dead
Toga is dead (or, let's just call it as it is, she committed suicide) - this is despite the fact that if she died other characters (read: heroes) should have died as well, but didn't (Bakugo and Edgeshot for example)
Dabi is presumably still in the hospital (since we didn't see a funeral), unable to move or do anything on his own
Spinner wrote his book, but where he is and how he's actually doing is unknown - presumably he still has to deal with multiple quirks that aren't his own and are tearing at his body
Compress is alive but where he currently is is unknown - he read Spinner's book (and that's it)
Kurogiri exploded?? And nobody has bothered to mention anything about him since
Twice has been dead for a while, but his murderer is not only free of charge but also the head of the HPSC (which still exists btw)
Other things:
The hero ranking system still exists
Seemingly no real changes have been made which would help victims like the LOV before they felt like they had to turn to villainy to be heard/seen/understood
Deku gets to be a hero again by the power of ~technology~ - kinda making the whole deal about him losing his quirk feel pointless
Not from this chapter, but I still feel like it's very important to point out that it's heavily implied that Rei is just gonna take care of Enji (her abuser) now and probably for the rest of time
The few good things:
Ochako bringing more focus on mental health
That was it, I have nothing else
A new life for Tomura part 8
How is anyone okay with Tomura dying when it was stated that the trauma made him age super rapidly and that's why his body ended up like that.
There are sooooooo many panels of Tomura going through the worst shit imaginable and taking all the damage like it was nothing, 'cause he wanted so badly to survive.
He was solely born as a suggestion of AFO 'cause he needed a new body and a tool for his plans.
His age went white by age five 'cause AFO turned him into a weapon and tested him by massacring his whole family.
He was presented in the story as a young man with deep psychological and physical issues. We saw him destroying his neck with his nails the moment he failed at the USJ.
Tomura was sleep deprived and exhausted to the point of hallucinating while he fought on MVA. That was after he admitted that he couldn't remember most of what happened when he was a kid.
The amount of times he threw up because his trauma was overwhelming????
Tomura got that surgery because he wanted the power to destroy what made it so hard to live for his and his friends and ended up possessed by the man who had ruined his entire life.
That panel of Tomura agonizing in pain on the ground after the Star and Stripe fight, while AFO looked so fresh and patted him like a well-behaved cat makes me so sick.
AFO wanted to use as sacrificial pawns all of Tomura's friends, after Tomura had stated time and time again how much he cared for them and how far he'd go to protect them.
Somehow Tomura got rid of AFO and his body freaking evolved to protect him. His body was taking the form of his dead family and it was moving like a shield and a sword in his favor.
He lived in a freaking time loop where he'd live endlessly the day he killed his family.
Finally AFO got killed and he got "rescued" from his traumas by Deku, only for AFO to come back, reveal that Tomura was never free to start with.
AFO almost erased a screaming Tomura from existence. The only reason Tomura didn't die is because Deku had passed OFA to him and Nana shielded Tomura to protect him.
All that for Tomura to come back just to help Deku defeat AFO is the most unexciting panel ever, say his last words and die decayed.
All his family? Dead. His dog? Dead. His childhood friends? Probably turned into nomus. His found family? Either dead, hurt or missing. The person responsible for raising him, the one who actually fulfilled the parent role? A child soldier 16 years old boy turned into a zombie butler that died by trying to protect him.
The cherry on top is that the heroes would justify trying to help him by focusing on his 5 years old version, instead of acknowledging that the man Tomura Shigaraki became was worth fighting for and worth loving and rescuing. Tomura refused to stop being the leader of the League of Villains for a reason, yet Deku would still call him Tenko and All Migh would dare say that Deku "saved his soul" as if that was worth something.
The hero society is far from being fixed, the story is far from being over, the villains made progress but they are still fighting because there is still so much corruption and ignorance surrounding the most important points of what makes a villain, you know, a villain.
And the one character who deserved the most to have a second chance at life all is dead :(
Tell me how is anyone satisfied with this...
@flamme-furamu
A new life for Tomura part 8
'Cause i may not always reblog it
Guuuuys ! If you wanna continue to read a new life for Tomura follow the account @flamme-furamu
And if you wanna see my nsfw write or my reblog follow meâ¨
Guuuuys ! If you wanna continue to read a new life for Tomura follow the account @flamme-furamu
And if you wanna see my nsfw write or my reblog follow meâ¨
A new life for Tomura part 7
Shigaraki is so pathetic heâs able to cum untouched just from kiss
shared seat (nsfw)
cw: dacryphilia, premature ejaculation, mutual pining, desperation, cowgirl, multiple orgasms, no use of y/n (blank name space instead!!), tomura is a mega computer nerd, reader plays dumb kinda, some light hurt/comfort i guess?? making out, afab/fem reader, implied virgin shiggy :)
naturally.
you have tomura in the palm of your hand. every time you walk by him, brush against him awkwardly, tap his shoulder to get his attention, it sends sparks through his touch-starved limbs and makes him dizzy. every night, he begs and pleads for you to come into his room, even just to sit in there. he wants you in whatever way he can, to see you, smell you, touch you, hear you. gods, of course he wants to taste you, but he's learned the hard way to take whatever he can get.
so when you knock on his door and ask him to teach you how to sort out your PC and mod a few games, his heart lurches in his chest. of course, of course he will. he trudges behind you to your bedroom, watching your ass jiggle lightly in the dingy sweatpants you stole from him a few months back. he takes a deep breath before sitting in your desk chair, immediately clicking through PILES of random trash files and download files.
"_______" he starts sternly, brow already furrowed at the sight. "have you not been deleting the download files after you download a mod?"
you shake your head. "won't that delete the mod?" you lean on your desk next to him, uncomfortably close to him. he smells the conditioner in your hair, your sweet perfume. he tightens his gloved grip on your mouse as he shakes his head and tidies your desktop up.
"fucking idiot" he mumbles as he clears a few gigabytes from the system, "this is why it's so slow, stupid". you giggle and mumble, "ohhhhhh" under your breath.
who's to say you didn't know that. who's to say you just wanted an excuse to have him in your room, huffing at your desk, having his scent fill the room and his frustrations cloud your thoughts. but he didn't have to know that.
he keeps clicking through folders, and you nudge the chair. he turns to face you and you mindlessly sit in his lap, telling him "let me in", spinning the chair back to face the desk.
his breath hitches as your plush ass presses against his dirty pajama pants and half-hardened cock. you watch the pointer on the screen as he sorts through different game files, his breathing unsteady in your ear. you giggle as he groans at the unnecessary folders and shortcuts.
"why...dude, what's with all the sims mods?" he asks, voice filled with genuine concern as he clicks into the mods folder. you panic and spring up, sending the chair back a bit with him still in it. your ass is directly in his face as you scramble, closing the folder.
tomura's eyes widen and he forgets the folder entirely for a moment as your shirt rides up, the small of your back exposed, the waistband of your underwear pulled slightly above the baggy sweats. he starts again and rolls his eyes.
"dipshit, just let me make sure there aren't duplicates, okay?" he pulls you by the waist into him again, your ass falling back onto him. he closes his eyes for a moment to regulate his thoughts.
the mods folder flashes back open. he scrolls through hundreds of mods, your body tensing as he pauses and reads through them all.
"what the hell are you doing to those poor sims" he laughs nervously as his cock grows tighter against you. you grimace as he closes out of it and goes into the save files folder.
he stops when he notices his name front and center, paired with yours.
he nods and stays silent, and you readjust in his lap. your eyes gloss over, unable to confront the clear tension between you two as you shift, his free arm lacing around your waist slowly, holding you tightly as he tries his best to hold back.
he closes out of the tabs and sits on the blank screen for a moment, clearing his throat.
"did...you need me to do anything else here?" he leans forward with you a bit, greedily inhaling your scent again as he awaits a response.
"hm...yeah, can you help me set my new speakers up? they won't connect for some reason." any excuse to keep him here.
"hmph. yeah, sure" he bites his lip and scoots the chair in, opening the program.
"they're plugged in, right?" he asks, and you nod.
"mhm, i'm not that dumb" you playfully lean back, your face all-too-close to his. he rolls his eyes and hums to himself as your weight presses more against him, and he's painfully trying to conceal how hard he is. if you don't stand, maybe you won't notice. he's so fucking close already, he's afraid any small movement will ruin it all.
you lean forward to turn the dial on the speaker and his breath hitches. he twitches in his pants and feels the moisture beading from his tip, hissing lowly to himself as you readjust again.
"jesus, _________. can you figure your shit out" he snips, and you laugh. he groans as he twitches again, dangerously close to finishing right here.
"sorry" your words come out as a whisper as he grips you closer now, his fingers tracing the exposed skin under your shirt as he fiddles around with the settings. you smile as he touches you.
you take it one step too far when you scoot back into him, using his thigh to steady yourself. as you grind into him, he loses control and feels himself cumming sporadically in his fleecy pants. he shakes against you, his head falling into your shoulder as he crumbles underneath you. he nearly crushes your brand new mouse as his hands clench, his uncovered fingers digging into your midriff. he shakes as you feel the moisture seeping from the material, leaking onto the back of your own pants. you don't dare to speak a word, you refuse to ruin it for him.
you go to look at him, but his head is still pressed against your shoulder, his baby blue hair draped over you. his breathing is slowing now, but he's still shaking.
"i'm sorry" he shudders before you can say anything. you grab his hand, still slung across your legs, and squeeze it.
"tomu, it's okay" you comfort him quietly as he continues to shake. you stand and he plants his face into his hands, soft tremors coming from the pale man.
you flip the armrests of the chair up and wrap your legs around him, facing him now. you stroke his hair gently and coax him to look up, his cherry eyes teary and glossed.
you kiss him gently, feeling the tears still running down his cheek. his lips are rough, but they taste like candied apples, and you hold his face in your hands as he falls into the kiss shakily.
as you pull away, he sniffles.
"i'm sorry" he repeats, and looks back down.
you kiss his head, his soft hair tickling your face. he wraps his arms around you and presses his face into you, his tears soaking the front of your shirt. you shush him and brush his hair back. you comfort him best as possible, but feel him hardening underneath you again.
"c'mon" you stand from the seat again, and take his hand. you bring him to the bed, and he sits slowly. you wipe the tears from his cheeks, and he shakes his head.
"why?" he asks quietly, and you kiss his nose, "why aren't you mad at me?".
you tug him into you, kissing him. he moans into the kiss this time, his cock tenting again. your mind swirls with thoughts of him inside of you, making him shiver and cum and whine. why would you be mad at him, your sweet pathetic leader?
no one else would ever see him like this. maybe it played a part in your arousal, knowing that this display was solely for you. that his orgasm was because of you. that he was crying because he was afraid he upset you. your scary, villainous, domineering leader was crying in your room, cock twitching desperately against his minecraft pj pants, because he just came from you sitting in his lap.
the heat between your legs swells as your tongue presses into his mouth, tasting the same sugary sourness from before. his tongue slides forcefully into your mouth, his saliva mixing with yours. he palms aggressively at his erection, trying to push it down nervously before you tug him by his sweater, pulling him on top of you. he instinctively grinds down into you, and as you feel him press against your clothed sex, you moan.
the heavy petting stresses you out. you can't keep kissing him and touching him without feeling him inside of you. tomura's eyes are half-lidded and hungry as you shove him back, and he looks at you nervously for a moment before you pull your pants off, urging him to do the same. he throws the pants off the bed, his cock springing free and tapping against his stomach. the knot in your stomach pulls deeper as you gaze upon the soft sky-blue tuft of hair leading down to his dick, his breathing ragged as you pull yourself on top of him again. you grind down, and he moans as the wetness soaking through your underwear squishes on his admirable length.
he's ready to cum again already, and you can tell from the way he grinds into you from below. you shift your underwear off, awkwardly shimmying as he helps you. he doesn't seem to care as he tugs at the garment, his hands exploring your curves with a greedy grip. as his cock rubs against you, you kiss him, coating him with the slick heat. you help position him against your tight hole, and he thrusts it in, stretching you with a snap. you throw your head back from the sensation and steady yourself for a moment before rocking back and forth, his moans and huffs growing louder. you ride him slowly at first, helping you adjust to his size, and he watches you bounce on him with a feverish daze. he grabs at your shirt and you allow him to bring it up over you, throwing it mindlessly. his hoodie comes off next, yanking haphazardly as you continue to grind and bounce on him. he bites his lip as he cums again, not holding anything back as the sticky seed coats your insides. you don't stop, feeling yourself growing closer. his orgasm brings you even further, and you gyrate your hips against him, his soft hair creating a friction against your clit that is fucking unimaginable. you moan and cry out, chasing the orgasm. you squeeze against him, the searing pain from being stretched before now replaced by a deep craving from the pit of your sex, needing more and more of him to fill you up. his pitiful whining grows in volume as his cock re-hardens inside of you quickly, and his hands grip against your hips and he thrusts from below as you slam down into him, furthering the sensation as his tip nudges your cervix. as you both rock into each other, your climax rushes over you, flooding his cock with a deep heat that sends him over the edge for the third time. tears brim his eyes again as he sprays your cunt with more pearly fluid, and your body shakes as you clench and rub the end of your orgasm out on him. your chest heaves as you both finish, and you fall on top of him with his dick still throbbing inside of you. he whines out and kisses you, tangling his fingers in your hair. the aftershock of your orgasm sends shivers through your body, and you pull yourself off of him. you already miss the feeling of him stuffing you with his cock, but he's spent. he shakes and squeezes his eyes shut, his legs and arms splayed out, vibrating.
you kiss his cheek and reach for something to help him clean up. you grab your shirt and wipe him off, and he frowns.
"didn't have to do that" he chokes out, and you shrug.
"i could never be mad at you, tomura" you say to him as you find clean clothes. as you dress, he drags a blanket over himself.
he nods and doesn't speak again for a moment. you climb in next to him, and he smiles weakly.
"promise?"
you nod. "pinky promise" you lace your fingers with his, the gloves brushing against your soft skin.
the two of you lay together in silence, growing more and more tired with each passing minute. you won't send him back to his room, you'd rather keep him here as long as possible. even if it was left unsaid, you loved him, and you spent every day worrying which day might just be the last. especially with the league growing in infamy, the unknown became scarier every day. but for right now, it felt more than okay. and for right now, you'd rather spend the time with him like this than having to worry about your futures.
"so what's up with that save file on the sims?" his voice snaps you out of your thoughts, and you groan.
"i think the next thing im gonna ask you how to teach me is hiding folders".
â°(*´︜`*)âŻâĄ
thank you for the ask <3 yummy yummy suggestion!!!!!! đЎđЎđЎ
A new life for Tomura part 7
Autistic!Tomura Shigaraki, QPR, GN!Reader, Discussions of Pain
The whole time youâve known him, youâd never describe Tomura as someone who really complains. Heâll frustratedly talk about games levels that heâs stuck on or how hot it is, any little thing that doesnât really matter, but if something is really, genuinely bothering him, he keeps it to himself.
Itâs really hard for him to talk about the things that bother him, especially if the kind of help he needs is something heâd have to talk to a stranger about. You understand that heâs had a rough time with professionals, so youâve never pushed him on it.
You were getting started on breakfast when he says he wants to talk to you sometime about something important. âIt doesnât have to be now, or even today, but justâŚ. Sometime. Is that okay?â Heâs clearly very nervous bringing it up, and you can tell itâs important to him. He doesnât look at you when he says it, but thatâs not unusual for him.
It ends up being almost a week later when Tomura approaches you again to finally sit down and talk. He fidgets with his phone, likely with notes of what he wants to say. He takes a deep breath before he starts.
âItâs not easy to talk about, but I donât want to be in pain anymore⌠I just donât know how not to beâŚâ
You sit quietly, just listening to him talk for the longest time. Heâs done a lot of reading and tried to figure out whatâs been happening to his skin his whole life on his own but he just canât do it. Heâs tried soothing creams, numbing creams, anti-inflammatory gels, everything, anything, but they just makes it hurt more or make it hurt differently. Heâs tired. Tired of waking up in the middle of the night unable to stop scratching. He tried wearing gloves to bed, heâs tried trimming his fingernails super short, heâs tried anything he could think of. It wouldnât be so bad if it wasnât causing open scratches all over his body all the time.
âItâs hard to take care of a body that burns and bleeds when youâre just trying to clean and care for it.â Tomura says, kneading the bottom hem of his hoodie with his hands.
There are the beginnings of tears welling in his eyes as heâs clearly frustrated and embarrassed at not being able to solve it on his own.
Eventually he gets quiet, and lays back. He takes a breath, before continuing. âI donât even know if itâs a real itch at this point. Iâve thought about it being some kind of nervous tic, or compulsive behavior, maybe a mix of a few things, Iâm justâŚ.â
The tears roll down the side of his face, but he wipes them on his hoodie sleeve.
â⌠I donât want everything to hurt anymore.â
You ask if you can give him a hug, and he says yes. He sits up so you can wrap you arms around him for a moment. That seems to help soothe him, if only a bit.
Itâs definitely a long road ahead, but you tell him that you can help advocate for him and be there to support him if he wants to find someone to talk to about these kinds of problems. He looks nervous at that, but you assure him that you can start as small as he needs to. He visibly relaxes, laying back down. He looks up at you, and pats for you to lie down next to him.
You lie back with him, just sitting there in silence for a little while. You know itâs not a lot, but just having you in his corner seems to make his whole disposition a little more hopeful.
(bnha manga ending spoilers)
what was the point
what was the point
what was the point
WHAT WAS THE POINT
WHAT WAS THE POINT
WHAT WAS THE POINT đđ
what was the pointtttt
A new life for Tomura part6
đđ˘đŤđ đ˘đ§!đđ¨đŚđŽđŤđ - Part One | Part Two
â đŹđŽđŚđŚđđŤđ˛: Tomura was researching how to flirt with girls but gets sidetracked.
â đ°đđŤđ§đ˘đ§đ đŹ: masturbation, edging, feminine pronouns
â đ°đ¨đŤđ đđ¨đŽđ§đ: 463
â đ§đ¨đđ: The scenario made me giggle but atp I just need to write an actual fic 'cause it's a follow up to the last Virgin!Tomura piece I wrote. This is barely edited - be gentle.
Virgin!Tomura binge-watching romance animes in an attempt to find the best way to approach you. No, no, no. Most of these required touching. Hand holding, wall leaning, brushing hair out of the girl's face... biting, for some reason. With one hand, he scrolled through episodes of random romance scenes, trying to picture the two of you in these scenarios, while the other scratched idly at his neck. None of these were what he wanted to do to get his message across.
Virgin!Tomura turning his research from romance anime to animated eroges - something he was somewhat familiar with. It was a video game. He knew video games. What he didn't realize was that the eroge that he had chosen to play at random had a character that looked eerily similar to you. Tomura nearly decayed his mouse when he saw that character come on screen. His eyes rake over the character as he moved the mouse to the "unclothe" option, and then they widen as the character was bare before him.
Virgin!Tomura finding the "scene selector" option as fast as possible and clicking the first option. Heat rushed to his face as he watched your doppelganger ride the faceless main character that he had named after himself. He clicked the next scene and his cock twitched in his pants as he watched her suck his character's dick. Muffled moans poured from his computer's speakers but he didn't have the strength to turn them down. He was transfixed. This could be you and him.
Virgin!Tomura hastily jerking his pants and boxers down until his cock sprung free into the cold air of his room. He gripped himself tightly with one hand and navigated the mouse to the next scene button with the other. An involuntary groan escaped him as he watched your double pump his character's cock slowly. He wondered how you would do that... were you fast? Slow? Teasing? Would you use two hands? Your boobs? He increased the speed of the scene.
Virgin!Tomura not even getting a full stroke in before warm ropes of cum cover his fist. He got off to just thinking about what you would do to him.
Virgin!Tomura growing frustrated with his early release and fucking himself faster until his hips were bucking into his fist. He can't cum that early if he was with you - when he was with you - so he stopped just shy of his next release, his thumb hovering over the slit on the head of his throbbing cock.
Virgin!Tomura spending nearly fifteen minutes edging himself until he accidentally clicked the next scene. This angle looked too much like you as your double rode him with her back to the screen. He couldn't hold back any longer. He spilled onto his already soiled hand in one wave of pleasure while another load arched upward and splattered onto the desk in front of him in another. He was panting by the time his cock grew soft, your name coming out in a breathy whisper. If getting this sort of release was possible by just imagining you fucking him, he wondered what it was like for you to actually be there with him.
A bunch of pixels on the screen wasn't enough.
Your best friend vanished on the same night his family was murdered, and even though the world forgot about him, you never did. When a chance encounter brings you back into contact with Shimura Tenko, you'll do anything to make sure you don't lose him again. Keep his secrets? Sure. Aid the League of Villains? Of course. Sacrifice everything? You would - but as the battle between the League of Villains and hero society unfolds, it becomes clear that everything is far more than you or anyone else imagined it would be. (cross-posted to Ao3)
Chapters: 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11
Chapter 12
Saintess.
You look down at Kazuoâs one-word text, your stomach twisting. Youâve got no idea where he got that name, or what question he was ordered to ask that led him to it. You text back. Is that even a real word?
The question was whether the League of Villains has allies beyond those who were present at Kamino. Kazuo texts back slowly. Too slowly. The typing bubble seems to hover forever. I was unable to give them any more information about the villain known as Saintess.
Kazuoâs careful with his words. If he framed the question that way, then your name would be excluded â even though you pal around with villains, even though youâre the girlfriend of the Leagueâs ringleader, you havenât committed a crime. The word âvillainâ wouldnât apply to you, which means youâre safe. Thank you.
We need to talk in person. Tonight.
Why?
Iâll meet you after work.
Meeting you after work means heâs coming to your workplace, after work. Whatever this is, itâs important. And itâs going to clash with one of your other plans, which is also important â and a lot harder to get out of. You hate yourself as you ask the question. How long will it take?
As long as it needs to. Kazuo doesnât really get irritated anymore, but you can remember what it used to feel like when you pissed him off. Do you have somewhere to be?
You do, actually. Tenko is supposed to negotiate with Overhaul tonight, and he wants you to be there with him. Overhaul wants you there, too â when you listened in on the phone call, you heard him mention âthe one in greyâ specifically. What is this about?
The Shie Hassaikai.
Shit. Hold on.
You turn to nudge Tenko awake and find him watching you through half-lidded eyes. He doesnât sleep much, but when he does, he sleeps like a log. He barely stirred when your alarm went off. âWho are you talking to?â
âMy friend Kazuo.â You brace yourself. âI canât go with you to meet Overhaul. I have to meet him instead.â
Tenko doesnât look happy, and heâs still half-asleep. Itâs going to get worse. âYou have to go with me. He asked for you specifically. If you donât go, heâll suspect something.â
âTell him we canât tonight,â you say. âEven if weâre supposed to be allies, we shouldnât jump just because he says so. That looks suspicious, too.â
âMaybe.â Tenko looks like heâs considering it for a second. Then he shakes his head. âTell your friend you canât.â
âI canât do that. I have to meet him.â
Tenkoâs eyes narrow. âWhy?â
âHe has a quirk called Search Engine. He works for the HPSC gathering intel.â You try to figure out a good way to phrase it, then realize there isnât one. âHe knows about you and me.â
âAnd heâs a hero?â
âNot exactly.â You wonder if thereâs anything else Tenko needs to know. âItâs not relevant, but I dated him in high school.â
âWhat?â Tenko looks like heâs going to blow a fuse. Youâre pretty sure the structural integrity of everything heâs touching is in danger at the moment, regardless of the gloves. âHeâs blackmailing you. Thatâs why you have to go. Iâll kill him.â
âHeâs not blackmailing me.â You canât let Tenko meet Kazuo. You canât let anything happen to your old friends because of your new ones. âHeâs been telling me how to stay clear of his searches. This morning he texted me to let me know that my code name popped up, but nothing else.â
âHeâs a hero, but heâs helping you,â Tenko repeats. His expression darkens. âHe likes you. Thatâs why. Do you like him?â
âHeâs my friend,â you say, exasperated. âHalf the reason I dated him because he reminded me of you.â
Tenko coughs. âWhat?â
You decide to pretend you didnât say that. You unlock your phone and show Tenko the conversation in question. âHe has information about Overhaul. We need that. Before we meet him?â
âWhy would he know you needed information about Overhaul? What does his quirk do?â
âSearch Engine â it lets him find the answer to any question he asks,â you say. Tenko looks â well, youâre not sure how to classify that expression. Somewhere between skeptical, pissed, and panicked. Whatever it is, itâs uncomfortable. âThe problem is that itâs hard to come up with a query that excludes every answer except the one youâre looking for. And all that information comes in at the same time, so itâs hard to sort through. He ââ
You trail off, trying to figure out how to explain. âHe went to UA, but they pushed him too hard. His mind broke down and he dropped out, but the HPSC conscripted him to help find you. And since Iâm with you, and Iâm his friend, heâs helping me avoid getting caught.â
âWhich means helping me, too.â Tenko looks really skeptical now. âI donât buy it. No hero would help you if it meant helping me at the same time.â
âHeâs not a hero,â you say. âThe heroic system ruined his life.â
That seems to land a little better with Tenko than your previous explanations. He hands your phone back to you. âSo he knows something about the Hassaikai that he wants to tell you,â he says. You nod. âAnd the stuff heâs told you before has been useful.â
You nod again. âThen Iâll tell Overhaul to shove it,â Tenko decides. A smirk crosses his faith at the thought. âWeâll meet him tomorrow instead. Heâs not the only ally weâre considering. He can wait his fucking turn.â
You text Kazuo back, confirming the meetup while Tenko reads over your shoulder. At first heâs just looking. Then his chin notches against your shoulder, his arms wrapping around your waist. Heâs wearing the gloves he went to bed in, and you let him rustle around for a few moments, getting so close heâs practically glued to your back. Thatâs going to be a problem in a few minutes. You have to go to work. But at the same time, you arenât ready to go just yet. Lately you only feel normal when youâre with him.
âThat guy,â Tenko says after a minute or so. âDid you really date him because he reminded you of me?â
âI was always going to be friends with him, but he made me think of you, and thatâs part of why I dated him.â Itâs embarrassing to admit this. You donât like thinking about how much of your life has been marked by losing Tenko. âHe was what I imagined youâd be like. If nothing had changed.â
You hadnât realized that there was something else to it at first. Kazuo was brilliant, and he was funny, and he was kind. Half the girls in your class had a crush on him, but he wound up with you, because you made sure you were there. If there was something he needed, you had it. If he needed a partner for an assignment, you were right there, on top of everything, ready to pitch in and make sure his ideas shone. If he wanted to talk, you dropped everything to listen. You werenât playing a part; more auditioning for one. The job of Kazuoâs sidekick, in theory. In practice, his girlfriend.
He was your second boyfriend. Your first one was an asshole who cheated on you with Mitsuko, who dropped him when she found out and made you drop him, too. That was how the two of you met, and youâre still amazed that the two of you are friends rather than mortal enemies. Kazuo was different than that, almost perfect, a version of Tenko all grown up, without the scratching and the father who shouted and a heroic quirk. You know he loved you, and you were close even after the two of you broke up, until UA pushed his quirk past its limit. And you loved him, too, in a way that was probably healthier than the way you â feel â for Tenko. Like Kazuo said, all those months ago: He never tried to kill you. And youâd never step in front of a bullet for him.
âWhat I would have been like,â Tenko repeats. âYou must have been disappointed when you saw how I turned out.â
You elbow him lightly. âWhat part of me chasing you down the street said âIâm disappointedâ? Donât be dumb.â
âDonât fall in love with any more heroes, then.â Tenko lifts your phone out of your hands, drops it somewhere in the blankets on the bed, and pulls you back down with him. âI already locked it down.â
Heâs kissing you, one of his hands flirting with the edge of your shirt, slipping beneath it. You touch the screen of your phone and wince when you see what time it is. âI have to go.â
âIt wonât take long.â Tenkoâs hand slides all the way under your shirt. âI know what you like now. Iâll be fast.â
Heâs probably underestimating how much time it takes for you to get fully turned on, but then again, it feels different with him. And itâs not something you want to get into before work. âI bet I can be faster.â
âHuh? You can after I ââ
You twist out of Tenkoâs arms and push him onto his back. He was already half-hard when he was holding you. By the time you disappear under the blankets, thereâs a noticeable tent in his sweatpants. You havenât asked if heâs okay with this, but when you catch the waistband of his pants, he lifts his hips to let you pull them down. His voice is raspy when he says your name, and before you can ask for his consent more directly, his legs shift apart, making more room for you between them. That strikes you as an invitation. You get settled a little more comfortably, although youâre not expecting to stay here for long, before you lean in to drag your tongue across the tip of his cock.
Tenkoâs hips jerk. âHold still,â you say. âOr I stop.â
âWhy do I have to hold still?â Tenko freezes anyway, and you almost laugh. âItâs not fair.â
âI said I was going to be fast. I need your help. You can help by holding still.â
âSo youâll stop if I donât.â
âLet me think.â While youâre thinking, you lick the tip of his cock again, and this time, Tenko stays still. You reward him with a kiss, and slowly open your mouth, tasting him for a long moment before pulling away to speak. âI guess if you donât hold still, Iâll have to hold you down.â
His hips jerk again. You feel the muscles in his thighs go tense. Is that an idea he likes? You were just being playful, flirty, but suddenly your head is full of the idea of pinning Tenkoâs hips to the bed and teasing him until he canât take it any longer. You donât get the sense that it would take very long, so you carefully shift your weight, to the tune of a sharp intake of breath from the head of the bed. Suddenly the sheet shifts back, and you glance up to find Tenko propped up on his elbows and staring down at you with glassy eyes. He wants to watch you suck his cock. Thatâs fine with you.
Unlike the first time you touched him, Tenko keeps his hands to himself. Theyâre curled into fists at his sides â no, grasping at the sheets â no, grabbing a fistful of his pillow and holding on tight. You keep your attention focused on the tip of his cock, since youâre not confident in your ability to suppress your own gag reflex, and you really donât want to ruin Tenkoâs first blowjob ever. But youâre not going to say it isnât tempting. Every time you glance upwards, heâs a little more undone.
Youâre just considering whether itâs worth a shot when Tenkoâs mouth opens and a plea spills out. âI need it. I need you.â
He needs you. You wonder if something so simply can really be the magic words, the thing that takes you from unsure to dead certain, but youâre already taking him further into your mouth, your tongue flat against the underside of his cock as you breathe through your nose. Tenko shudders, gasps so sharply that could almost be a whine. You struggle to think of a way to signal your approval and finally settle on running your thumb over the exposed crest of his hip. You had one hand free when you started; now you have two, because youâve taken his cock so far into your mouth that thereâs no room left for your hand.
With Tenkoâs hips held down, thereâs no risk that heâll thrust and trigger your gag reflex. You draw back partially, then sink down again, far enough that the tip of your nose brushes the coarse dark hair at his groin. The thought crosses your mind of how disastrous it would be to sneeze right now, and shortly afterward, you discover how difficult it is to laugh with a cock in your mouth. Your throat convulses as you struggle to hold it back, and Tenko moans, so loud and desperate that your face flushes and head floods through you.
Youâre not laughing anymore. You draw back and sink down again and again, trying to keep the motion as smooth and effortless as possible, and Tenkoâs body seizes beneath you. His back arches, and he stammers out something like a warning. Itâs late. Youâre not a fan of the way cum tastes â you havenât met anyone who is except Yoshimi, and you think sheâs probably lying about that â but you find that you donât mind so much when itâs Tenkoâs. There are a lot of things you donât mind so much when itâs him.
You pull away once he begins to go soft, then duck back in to kiss the spot on his hip you were running your thumb over. He doesnât make any move to pull his sweatpants back up, so you do it for him, and you take the opportunity to look him over. You thought he was just worn out. Now you think he might be passed out. âAre you okay?â
One hand catches you by the front of your pajama shirt and yanks you down for a kiss. You try to hit the brakes â kissing after a blowjob is iffy, and youâre not sure if Tenko knows that â but he wonât let you, and your lips crash together hard. He speaks without letting you pull away. âYou just sucked my soul out through my dick. Of course Iâm okay.â
âI think those two statements contradict each other.â
âI donât care.â Tenkoâs other hand comes up, landing half on your hip, half on your ass. âMy turn now.â
âNo.â You pull away and scramble out of bed. âMaybe later. I have to go to work.â
âMaybe later?â Tenko looks affronted, or he would if he wasnât struggling to keep his eyes open. âWhat? Do you think Iâd be bad at it?â
âI donât think that. I just have to go to work. And you need to go back to sleep.â Youâre pretty sure his soulâs still attached, but you definitely sapped most of his energy. Not enough to stop him from pouting, though. âDefinitely later. Is that better?â
âNo.â Tenko yawns. âBut Iâll take it.â
He lets you go, already half-asleep as you pull your hand free, and you head to the bathroom to brush your teeth, noting an odd spring in your step. You havenât felt this good waking up in a while. Maybe you should start the day like this more often.
Nobody else is awake when you head out to the living room and kitchen, which isnât a surprise. Compress has been sleeping a lot, which is good â an injury like his requires extra rest. Twice goes to bed early, like an old man, according to one of his two personalities. Toga stayed up late. So did Spinner, and so did Dabi. Dabiâs the only one who stirs when you start picking through the kitchen for breakfast. âIf youâre gonna fuck him before seven am, tape his mouth shut first.â
Half of you cringes at the thought that Tenko was audible from the living room. The other half, though â âNobody made you listen.â
âKinky. Maybe we should change your code name, Saintess.â
âIf you think thatâs kinky, you really need to educate yourself.â
You probably would have thought not caring if someone was eavesdropping was kinky back in the day, but then you met Mitsuko. She and Dabi would probably hate each other. Then again, Mitsukoâs not above a bout of hatefucking. Maybe that would be good for her. Speaking from personal experience, thereâs nothing like getting intimate with a villain to exorcise some of your hatred of heroes.
It doesnât matter, because thereâs no way youâre introducing your friends to the League. The fact that Kazuo knows is bad enough. You make tea, pick through the kitchen for something to eat on the walk to work, and put on your shoes. It occurs to you that you should probably say something Dabi, because heâs awake, but you canât figure out what it should be. âUm, have a good day.â
His response comes back dripping with condescension. âYou have a good day too, Saintess.â
You lock the door, struggling to suppress an eyeroll. Heâll probably give Tenko a hard time once Tenko wakes up, but hopefully the blowjob high will insulate Tenko from caring about it too much. Thatâs not the only thing youâre hoping itâll insulate Tenko from. At some point today heâs going to remember that youâre meeting up with your hero-adjacent ex-boyfriend after work, and the less time he spends thinking about that, the better.
Youâre worried work will drag, but it speeds past, keeping you busy enough that you donât worry too much about the fact that the League is still holed up in your apartment. Kurogiriâs looking for another potential hideout, but you donât get the sense that any of them are in a particular hurry to leave. After all, your place is a guaranteed roof over their heads, a source of running water, a source of internet access, and a semi-comfortable place to sleep, more comfortable now that youâve invested in an air mattress that sleeps two. You wouldnât want to leave, if you were them.
Youâre not sure you want them to, either. When youâre with them, you donât have to lie to anybody about what youâre doing. When youâre with them, youâre not worried about being found out. When youâre with them, youâre with Tenko, and you â like him. You like him so much that you stepped in front of a bullet for him and gave him head with absolutely zero prompting. Youâre not sure which of those is more out of character for you.
Your last patient of the day has a weird injury, weird in that even when you rack your brain, you canât think what could have possibly caused it. It seems like his handâs been degloved completely, then flipped inside out, with veins and muscles and layers of fat on the surface and skin enfolding his bones. âThis was a quirk,â you say, once youâve clenched your jaw and concealed the surprise. The patient nods. âWhat happened?â
He shakes his head. âSorry. I shouldnât have asked that. Itâs not our policy to ask questions like that,â you say. The patient shrugs. Heâs not the most talkative, which is fine. You get his permission and take some pictures, getting as many views of it as you can, before you render a potential treatment plan. âIâm going to call a doctor to look at this, but based on what Iâm seeing, this is a hospital matter. Weâll most likely prescribe you some painkillers for the trip and wrap this up to prevent any more exposure to bacteria. Do you have any questions?â
âAre you sure you canât fix it here?â The patientâs expression says he doesnât want anything to do with the hospital, which isnât a surprise, but youâre fairly sure the doctor will be able to talk him into it. âThey fixed whateverâs wrong with your hand, right?â
You glance at your bandaged hand, surprised. Youâre still covering the scratches Tenko left, just because the scabs keep cracking. âThatâs different. Mine are superficial. Yours is â just sit tight. Iâll grab the doctor and she can explain.â
The doctor on call is on break, and not happy to be interrupted. âSorry,â you say. âThe patient in Exam 3 â his handâs turned inside out. He doesnât want to go to the hospital, but ââ
âWhat do you mean, turned inside out?â
âI mean, the muscles and blood vessels are on the outside,â you say. The doctorâs eyes widen. âHe might need emergency surgery to keep the hand, and itâs probably infected already. I canât talk him into going to the hospital. Iâm just a nurse. Maybe if you explain ââ
The doctor sets her bento aside and gets to her feet. âDid he say how it happened?â
âIt was a quirk,â you say. âI took photos already. Iâll add them to our database while you talk to him.â
âName, age, quirk.â
âHe didnât give a name. Early thirties. Quirk â I donât know what itâs called, but his hair looks like arrows.â Sometimes quirks are easy for you to guess. Sometimes not. âHeâs a little guarded, but he came here for help. That counts for something, right?â
The doctor nods. âUpload the photos. Iâll go talk to him.â
You added the photos to the clinicâs shared drive already, and you steal the doctorâs chair to upload them to the database that covers all the clinics in the network. Keeping a database of quirk-related injuries helps identify trends, develop treatment protocols, and tailor supply and personnel distribution. If a lot of burn injuries are showing up at a particular clinic, itâs helpful to be able to supply that clinic properly. But youâve never seen an injury like this before, and when you add the photos to the âopen woundsâ folder in the database, you realize that no one else has, either. Thereâs nothing even remotely close. What kind of quirk could do this?
Youâre puzzling over it, wondering if itâs worth querying public records over, when you hear a door open and shut down the hallway. At first you think itâs the doctor coming back. Then you hear the exit door at the far end of the hallway open and shut, too, and thirty seconds later, you realize that somethingâs wrong.
You race down the hall, skidding into Exam 3, and find the doctor sprawled out on the ground, conscious and aware and bleeding from a superficial scrape in her upper arm â but not moving. âWhat happened?â
She tries to answer you, but sheâs speaking with agonizing slowness, almost completely unintelligible even when you try to read her lips. You hurry forward, checking her respiration and heart rate, horrified to find at least thirty seconds passing between each beat of her heart. What is this? How is she still alive? The first answer is clear: A quirk. Your patientâs quirk, which you didnât ask about, because itâs policy not to ask. The second answerâs in doubt, and although itâs never happened while youâve been on shift in three and a half years of working at the clinic, you know what protocol mandates when a staff member is attacked.
You press the panic button taped to the underside of the desk â why didnât the doctor go for it? â triggering a clinic-wide alert and placing an automatic call to the emergency line. Then you turn your attention back to the doctor, the doctor you sent in here alone, checking for pupil movement, for pallor, for anything to tell you whether you need to call a code along with the alert.
Emergency services get there before law enforcementâs even left the station, and because you had contact with the attacker, too, youâre sent along in the ambulance to Yokohama General. You spend the entire way there trying to stay out of the EMTsâ way and trying to apologize to the doctor before letting this happen, until one of the EMTs tells you to can it. âIf youâd known, you wouldnât have sent anyone, but you didnât. Put the blame where it belongs.â
Thatâs hard to do. Lately youâve been so used to placing the blame on yourself that itâs turning into your default position, but this time, it really isnât your fault. You never would have sent the doctor to check on the patient if thereâd been any indication that he was dangerous. You didnât know. Thatâs all.
At Yokohama General, the doctorâs whisked up to intensive care, while youâre held back in the emergency room. Youâre not sure what theyâre looking for â you touched the patient while you were unwrapping the bandage heâd tied around the wound, and nothing happened to you â but you hang out in an exam room anyway, with nothing to do but nap behind a curtain and text Kazuo. Might be late. Somebody attacked a doctor at work and Iâm at the hospital.
âI know.â
You nearly jump out of your skin. The curtain peels back and reveals Kazuo standing there, wearing a pair of glasses and a suit jacket over his usual white shirt and slacks. The man standing next to him is wearing a suit and a pair of glasses, too â but his suit is grey, and his hair is green with streaks of yellow, and â
Sir Nighteye. You shrink back in horror, and the third member of the trio, a blue-skinned woman with a mask over her face, pipes up in a hurry. âDonât worry, weâre here to help! Sir is very friendly! He loves to laugh!â
Sir Nighteye glances briefly at you, then looks to Kazuo. âIs this your friend?â
âI would give her space,â Kazuo says. âShe was attacked on her way home last year, and was a first responder to the incident at Kamino Ward. Therapy for these traumatic experiences has not progressed as far as those who care for her might have hoped.â
You give Kazuo a dirty look, which he ignores. âI see,â Sir Nighteye says, and takes a notable step back. âI understand you had contact with the individual who attacked your coworker.â
âYes. I examined him.â You wonder how Nighteyeâs quirk works. How long it works for, and if he uses on you, how far ahead in your life heâll be able to see. âIf I had known what he was going to do ââ
âThat wouldnât have been possible,â Nighteye interrupts. Maybe itâs eye contact. You bow your head. âDescribe the injury to me.â
âUm ââ The word that comes to mind is âhorrificâ, but after what youâve seen over the last few months, your bar for horrific is pretty high. âIt looked like his hand had been turned inside out. Skin on the inside, veins on the outside.â
âI see. Did it appear to be clean?â
âWhat?â
âThe separation of the skin on his hand from his wrist,â Sir Nighteye says, impatient. âWas it jagged or clean?â
âOh.â You think of the photos you took. âJagged.â
âBut the skin was otherwise intact?â
âYes.â
âI see,â Nighteye says again. What does he see? You need to know. You need to know if you can go home tonight, or if you have to stay as far away from Tenko and the others as possible to keep them safe. âYouâve been working there for three and a half years. Have you seen an injury of that type before?â
âNo,â you say. âNot in our database, either. He said it was caused by a quirk, but our protocols donât allow us to ask more than that.â
âKiyohara.â Nighteye doesnât say more than Kazuoâs family name, but itâs clear what he wants. âNow.â
Kazuoâs hesitating, and you know why. âThat question is too broad,â you say to Nighteye. Nighteye pushes his glasses further up the bridge of his nose with his middle finger, eyebrows raised. âIt has to be more specific, or the information influx will risk overloading his brain. Since you donât care about his health, maybe youâll care about the fact that he wonât be useful at all after a grand mal seizure.â
You havenât blown up on a hero, ever. Suddenly you get why Mitsukoâs been doing it. It feels good, and Nighteye, unlike the sidekicks, doesnât rise to the bait. âIs that so?â he asks Kazuo. Kazuo nods. âWeâll secure as much information as possible before you make the query. As of now, youâre off-duty. And youâre free to go.â
That last is to you, but a warning look from Kazuo keeps you seated on the bed until Nighteye and his sidekick are gone. You open your mouth and he holds up his hand. It pisses you off. âDonât shush me. What was that about?â
âNot here. Outside.â
You grit your teeth and follow Kazuo out through the emergency room and onto the street. Itâs dark, and with autumn well on its way, the wind whipping between the buildings is cold. You follow Kazuo for two blocks, then into a park, before he stops walking and turns to face you. âYou shouldnât have spoken up. I told you â you canât save both of us.â
âSo I was supposed to just sit there while he made you overload your quirk?â Youâre already out of patience. âNo. Tell me whatâs going on. Right now.â
âThe Nighteye agency is investigating the Shie Hassaikai,â Kazuo says. Your jaw drops. âTheyâve enlisted the help of dozens of unaffiliated heroes. Itâs the largest operation any hero has conducted since Kamino, and it will be far better planned than Kamino was. Sir Nighteye wonât act until heâs certain of victory.â
âWhy are they investigating the Hassaikai?â you choke out. âIs it because of ââ
âYour friendâs involvement is tangential. They arenât after him this time.â Kazuoâs hand rises to his temple, and you catch it, pull it back down. You spend a lot of time dragging your friendsâ hands away before they can hurt themselves. âNighteye has been pursuing the Hassaikai since before Kamino. Their investigation is related to the distribution of Trigger. Youâre familiar?â
You nod. A solid thirty percent of your patients who show up in costume are showing up after experiencing the adverse effects of Trigger. The compound boosts quirk activation at the cost of everything else, and itâs one of those things youâll never understand about people with quirks â that constant desire for more of it, more power, more everything. âThe Hassaikaiâs involved with that?â
âTheyâre distributing an inferior version of it,â Kazuo says. Tenko didnât know that. You know he didnât, because he would have told you. How much else doesnât he know? âAnd lately theyâve been distributing something else as well. Bullets that erase quirks.â
âI know,â you say. Kazuo looks surprised. âItâs temporary, but they work.â
Compressâs quirk came back within twenty-four hours, but you know itâll be a long time before anyone in the League forgets what happened in that warehouse. The bruise on your shoulder is fading, but the creepy red lines havenât. âNighteye believes that Chisaki is pursuing a more permanent version of the quirk-erasing bullets, and doing so through less than ethical means,â Kazuo says. âEvery use of my quirk in the last six weeks has been related to this investigation. Your new name came up in my queries because you crossed paths with Chisaki once. If you, personally, aid him in any way, youâll become one of the investigationâs targets. So will your friend.â
Chisaki must be Overhaulâs family name. You wonder if heâs got a family. âI donât think weâre planning to help him,â you say, and see Kazuoâs eyebrows lift. âHe killed one of us and maimed another one. Thatâs not forgivable.â
âIndeed.â Kazuo sits down on a bench, and so do you. Itâs quiet for a little while. âSo. Saintess.â
âI didnât pick it.â
âI know,â Kazuo says. Of course he does. âIâd have advised you to choose a name soon regardless. As this escalates, youâll need to shield your true identity.â
âSo I wonât go to jail,â you clarify.
âSo you wonât be killed,â Kazuo says. You stare at him. âIâm aware of the â position â you hold in your friendâs organization. If his enemies believe they can use you against him, they will do it, and since targeting you when youâre with him will be difficult, theyâll do it when youâre alone, as a civilian. My query indicated that you havenât been found out, but today was a very near miss.â
That should make sense to you. You force yourself to think. Why would the Nighteye agency care about an attack in a free clinic on the rough side of Yokohama? They wouldnât, unless â âWas that guy one of the Hassaikai?â
âSir Nighteye suspects he is. He wonât know for sure until I search,â Kazuo says. His phone buzzes. He checks it and sighs. âMy parameters are in. Iâll let you know what I find.â
âKazuo ââ You donât know what to say, and heâs already getting to his feet. âWhy are you helping me so much? You could get in trouble.â
âI donât care about that,â Kazuo says. He barely cares about anything anymore. Seeing the apathy overtake him for the past three years has been agonizing. âThe world your friend wishes to create, a world without heroes, is a world where this would not have happened to me. Itâs too late for me, but there are others who could be spared.â
You look at him, feeling your throat tighten and your eyes burn. âIâm sorry.â
âI told you,â Kazuo says, for the third time today, over his shoulder as he starts the walk back to Yokohama General, âyou canât save us both.â
Youâve always thought he meant himself and Tenko when he said that. Now you wonder if he means himself and you. You wonder what saving either of you would mean. And you wonder if itâs too late for you already.
Your phone buzzes, and you look at it. Itâs the new group chat, the one you made because you couldnât face the thought of never seeing Sho or Hironoâs phone numbers pop up again. Mitsukoâs texting you. And Ryuhei. Quit being a stranger. Come hang with us.
Tenko and the others are already expecting you to be out tonight, and you never said how long youâd be gone. Where are you?
Look up.
You look up, and sure enough, your friends are strolling towards you. âKazuo dropped a pin,â Ryuhei calls once heâs in earshot. âWe never see you anymore.â
Itâs been a while since you saw Ryuhei, but Mitsuko? âWe saw each other five days ago, Mitsu.â
âYeah, but that wasnât exactly fun. And you had to run off to your stupid job.â Mitsuko rolls her eyes. âCome on. Letâs go out. I swear I wonât get wasted and spit on any more sidekicks.â
âAnd no peeing on the All Might statue.â
âFine.â Mitsuko heaves a dramatic sigh, while Ryuhei cracks up. âDrinks first.â
âDrinks,â Ryuhei agrees. âI found a maid bar, and theyâll treat me like a creep if I go in there alone.â
Youâre pretty sure the three of you together look weirder strolling into a maid bar than Ryuhei would have by himself, but nobody who works there comments on it, and theyâre nicer to you than you expected them to be. One of them knows you â sheâs one of the people who uses the clinic as a primary care provider, so youâve seen her a few times a year for the past three years. She cracks a joke about how Ryuhei would look better in a maid costume than she would, which leads directly into Mitsuko bullying him into trying on the headpiece of one of the costumes. You take a picture before you can stop yourself and drop it in the group chat. Kazuoâs busy, but now thereâs a record, and youâre pretty sure itâll make Yoshimi laugh.
Youâve been most comfortable with Tenko and the League lately, but itâs nice to have a night out with your friends, too â one thatâs not complicated by your involvement with your childhood best friend turned boyfriend, who probably fits the criteria of a domestic terrorist and whoâs been living in your apartment on and off for the past six weeks with his gang of domestic terrorist friends. Mitsuko and Ryuhei are the most irreverent of your group, and they live the closest to the edge. Ryuhei has a record that isnât his fault â his quirk is entirely unconscious, and when a sidekick launched a quirk-based attack at him while he was running away from a building heâd graffitied, he couldnât stop himself from reflecting it back. Mitsuko doesnât have a record, but the cops in Yokohama know her too well to ever give her the benefit of the doubt again. They might have the privilege of having quirks, but youâve always been able to complain with them in a way that you havenât with the others.
After the maid cafĂŠ, you find yourselves at karaoke. You collectively suck at karaoke. Ryuheiâs got the best voice, but his enunciation is the first thing to go when heâs drunk, and you canât listen to him slurring his way through a song without laughing. Mitsuko is tone-deaf, but makes up for it with enthusiastic dance moves, and thereâs absolutely nothing about your performances that stands out. Youâre such a nonevent at karaoke that Sho used to fall asleep when it was your turn to sing.
It should be fun. It used to be fun. But youâve lost two friends now. One of your friends is sick, while anotherâs being forced into work that could snap his mind in two. Mitsuko isnât okay; youâre not okay. Ryuhei isnât, either, and when the three of you are alone and you run out of things to talk about, thereâs no point in pretending otherwise.
âEverything sucks now,â Ryuhei says in a break between songs. âNot just since they died. For a while.â
âIt sucked the whole time. We just didnât admit it.â Mitsuko is facedown in one of the pillows on the couch. Her voice is muffled. âIt was always bullshit. When they were here, it was easier not to think about it.â
âI miss them,â you say. Your voice wavers, but only once. âI wish they were here.â
âYeah. They should be here, and those heroes shouldnât.â Ryuheiâs words are slurred, but heâs getting his point across just fine. âIf theyâre so great, how come nine hundred people died on their watch?â
They sound like Tenko. Heâd be happy to hear this, and like youâve summoned him just by thinking of him, your phone pings with a text from the burner phone Tenkoâs been using to call people â Kurogiri, Overhaul, and you. When are you coming back?
Iâll be back tonight.
When?
Canât he just trust you? Youâre about to text back that youâll be home when youâre done when Mitsuko scoops the phone out of your hands. âYour new boyfriendâs kind of clingy, huh?â
âNo,â you say. Part of you gets a stupid little thrill out of admitting that Tenkoâs your boyfriend. âNot clingy. He knows I was meeting Kazuo tonight.â
Mitsuko makes an error sound. âBad move. Telling the new boy about the former boy makes the new boy insecure.â
âNo ââ
âEspecially if the first guy is Kazuo,â Ryuhei says. âFucking hell. If I was dating his ex and she went out to meet him â and she didnât tell me when she was coming back â Iâd probably shit a brick.â
âThanks. I really could have done without that picture in my head.â Even as you return fire, youâre wondering if theyâve got a point. If itâs not just that Kazuoâs working for the heroes. If any part of it is that Tenkoâs jealous of the guy you dated before him. âWhat should I do?â
Mitsukoâs still holding your phone, and to your horror, she sends a text. This is Mitsu. Your girlfriendâs not banging her ex, sheâs hanging with us. Chill out.
Tenko texts back immediately. Two words. Prove it.
âHe wants proof,â Mitsuko announces. âSelfie time! Look cute.â
You canât manage looking cute. Youâre too stressed to look cute, and too distracted by the stupid faces your friends are making. Mitsuko snaps a photo and sends it off, followed by a text. Your turn.
For what?
To prove youâre not banging your ex right now.
You cringe. âHe doesnât have any exes.â
âAww, youâre his first? No wonder heâs acting like such a freak.â Mitsuko snickers. âItâs fine, anyway. We already know what he looks like.â
Something about that strikes you as odd, but before you can ask, Ryuhei pulls a phone out of his pocket. Not his. This one has a cracked screen and a case with an Endeavor pinup card taped to the back, and all at once thereâs a lump in your throat. âIs that Hiroâs?â
âYeah. They released her personal effects, fucking finally. I was her emergency contact, so I got them.â Mitsuko takes the phone from Ryuhei, your phone forgotten even as it pings again. âYou know she was conscious under there?â
Your stomach clenches. âNo.â
âLike the whole time. When I unlocked it, there were a whole bunch of undelivered messages, to all of us. I guess the wreckage blocked the signal.â Mitsukoâs voice is flat. Her eyes are filling with tears. âShe recorded a message for us. Here.â
You donât want to listen. You donât want to see. Not when you had something to do with the disaster that killed her, not when itâs partially your fault. The screen is black, but you can hear Hironoâs voice, rough and choked with dust and tears as she tells all of you that she loves you, that she hated waking up most mornings except that you all made her stupid life worth living. No jokes about Endeavor. No picking on you for being boring or Mitsuru for being a simp for his latest girlfriend or Mitsuko for whatever item of clothing she bought that Hirono hates. Just Hiro saying she loves you. And Hiro saying goodbye.
Youâre crying by the end of it, messy, stupid tears. Ryuheiâs teared up, too, but unlike you, heâs still able to talk. âThat was the last audio clip,â he says. âThere were a bunch of others. While she was trying to grab the phone, I guess. The first one was really interesting.â
He presses play on it, and you know instantly what itâs recording: The fight between All Might and All For One, audio that the news helicopters couldnât have picked up, audio that would have been suppressed if anyone had gotten ahold of it. All For One is taunting All Might over his failures, mocking him for his ideals, the same words you can imagine Tenko using but with thousands of times more glee. And then you hear it, All For Oneâs voice chilling your blood even through a recording: âThere is one thing you might be interested to know. Shigaraki Tomura, my apprentice? He was once known as Shimura Tenko â your beloved masterâs grandson!â
You freeze in place. âThat name sounded kind of familiar,â Ryuhei says, after heâs hit pause. âWe couldnât figure out why at first. Yoshimi was the one who got it. Shimura Tenko was your friend. The one who went missing.â
âWe all told you he was dead, but you were right and we were wrong.â Mitsuko sprawls out on the couch, staring up at the ceiling. âWe figured there couldnât be two, so we checked with Kazuo, and then we asked if we should tell you. If it wouldnât be too hard on you with everything else going on. You know what he said?â
You can guess. âHe said, What makes you think she doesnât know?â Ryuhei mimics Kazuoâs frozen voice. âAnd then it all made sense. Why youâve been acting so weird. Why you havenât been around. Where you got that weird scar on your wrist ââ
âAnd that bite mark on your neck,â Mitsuko adds, and your hand flies up to cover it even though itâs long gone. She waves your phone at you, the screen lit up with texts from Tenko. âIâm texting Shigaraki Tomura right now, arenât I?â
You could lie. You need to lie. But even as youâre stammering through the first sentence of your denial, you know itâs too late. Your friends know. Kazuo as good as told them. And in some weird way, youâre relieved. You donât have to lie any more. You can let it go. So you stop talking, except for one sentence. âPlease donât tell anyone.â
âAre you kidding me? We donât want to rat you out,â Ryuhei says. âWe want in.â
You stare at him. âWe want to meet him first,â Mitsuko says. âSince youâve been hung up on him since you were a toddler and your judgment with guys isnât usually garbage ââ
âBut we want in,â Ryuhei interrupts. âLike we said. Itâs been bullshit for a long time. At least your psycho boyfriend is doing something about it.â
âSo?â Mitsuko looks at you expectantly. âWhen do we meet him?â
Your phone pings again, and again â and then it starts ringing. Mitsuko holds it out to you, and you answer the call. âMy friends want to meet you.â
âIâm not jealous,â Tenko says. Someone guffaws in the background. âIâm not. I thought someone had â when are you getting back? Itâs ââ
âMy friends want to meet you,â you say again. âDo you want to meet them?â
âThey want to meet me,â Tomura repeats. He sounds just as confused as you feel. âLike, me, or â?â
âThey know. I didnât tell them, they guessed.â
âWe want in,â Ryuhei says loudly, and you jump. âDo we have to audition or something? Iâve got a record.â
âIâd have one if I hadnât blown my arresting officer,â Mitsuko adds from your other side, and someone on the other end of the line â probably Spinner â breaks out in a coughing fit. âSo?â
Tomuraâs quiet for a second. âIn a few days,â he says. Ryuhei digs an excited elbow into your side. âTell them theyâd better know exactly what âinâ means for them.â
âIâll tell them,â you say. Heâs stressed. You can tell. This is your fault. âSorry.â
âDonât. When are you coming back?â
âSoon,â you say. âI promise. I ââ
Whatever you were going to say gets drowned out by Mitsuko making incredibly loud kissing sounds right next to the microphone. You hang up and shove her away, hard. Not that it bothers her. Sheâs cackling to herself. âHe said yes?â
âIn a few days. And youâd better know exactly what you mean when you say youâre in.â
âNice!â Ryuhei gives you whatâs probably a friendly punch in the arm, and you recoil with a hiss. He hit just above the impact point of Overhaulâs bullet. âOh, sorry.â
Mitsuko has a weird look on her face now. You decide not to overreact to it. She might just be drunk. When Ryuhei hops up to go rent your karaoke booth for another hour, she turns to you. âDoes he hurt you?â
âWho, Ryuhei?â
âNo. Your boyfriend.â Mitsukoâs expression is serious, maybe more serious than youâve ever seen it. âThat thing on your wrist. I remember when your voice was fucked up, too. Thereâs more, right? Somethingâs up with your shoulder. Did he do that?â
You shake your head. You didnât step in front of the bullet on Tenkoâs orders. He was mad at you for doing it. âBut heâs hurt you before,â Mitsuko says. You open your mouth and she talks right over you. âYouâre going to say he didnât mean to, right?â
But he didnât. The first time, he didnât remember you until it was almost too late. When he bit you, he didnât realize how hard he was doing it, just like he didnât realize heâd activated his quirk the first time you touched him. When his nails tore up the back of your hand, it was because you put your hand there. âHe didnât mean to,â you say. Mitsuko makes a derisive sound. âDonât. I know him and you donât. He didnât mean to.â
âJust because heâs sorry doesnât mean he didnât mean it,â Mitsuko says. âI know guys like him. I know them better than you do.â
Guys like him. Magne said something like that, too. You didnât try to talk her out of it, and you donât try to talk Mitsuko out of it, either â just like youâve given up trying to talk Tenko out of the lies his master told him for now. âYouâll meet him soon. You can make up your own mind.â
Ryuhei comes back, and you and Mitsuko shut up in unison. âWe got another hour, but then theyâre kicking us out,â he reports. âWe got another few songs. Who wants to sing?â
You donât to. Mitsuko does, though, and after two songs from her, Ryuhei commandeers the mic and forces you to sing. Like always, youâre boring enough to send at least one of your friends to sleep, and with Mitsuko passed out on the couch, you hand the mic back to Ryuhei. Heâs in a good mood, at least partially because heâs drunk, but youâre most of the way to sober, and you canât help feeling like youâve screwed up. You wanted to keep your friends out of this, and theyâre in. Youâre this close to getting Kazuo in trouble, too. And youâve let Tenko down. Again.
You text him, wondering if heâs still awake, hoping he isnât. Iâm sorry.
Donât. We still need allies, and if you trust them, I can trust them, too. Tenkoâs response comes back fast, and the weight of his trust knocks the air out of you. When are you coming home?
Weâre leaving soon. I should be home in an hour or so.
Good. Tenkoâs immediate response gives you that weird hit of normalcy again. Itâs a normal conversation, the kind youâd be having if youâd grown up together and gotten together and moved in together, if nothing had gone wrong. I miss you.
I miss you too.
âHey,â Ryuhei says, and you look up. âIâm putting on the performance of a lifetime here. You two arenât even watching?â
âSorry,â you say. Mitsuko sits up, then lies back down with her head in your lap. âGo for it.â
Ryuhei gets back to it, aiming slightly sulky looks your way, and you settle in. You keep your eyes on him, but your mindâs left the building. Itâs already on the train, halfway back to your apartment, all the way back to your apartment, through the front door and home to your best friend.
imagining dating gamer shigiraki who actually is very popular.
he streams various online games, sometimes with friends but mostly by himself. with his competitive nature and wide game knowledge, heâs actually insanely good at any game he tries out.
to be honest, the one way to describe him is a loser stuck in a hot body. when he concentrates on his game he subconsciously pouts. he got popular from his reactions to scary games, no matter how hard he tries he canât help but get scared whenever he hears the littlest noise, a complete scaredy cat.
whoâs viewers thought he was a complete loner until one steam a couple months ago when someone took his attention off the screen, a smile immediately spreading across his face, as he thanked the person off camera for the food they gave him.
ignoring the comments curious of who was making the stone face streamer smile, âwho got you smiling like that?â he read off, ânone of your business.â the biggest mistake of his life. after that, every moment his attention was snatched from the stream, questions of if the loner had a special someone would flood his chat.
gamer shigiraki! who, for his 750k follower special, decided to stop being so introverted and answer some of his fans questions. âyes, I shower, next question.â, âiâve been streaming for about 4 years.â heâs been avoiding all the girlfriend questions, not because he was embarrassed or ashamed, simply because he didnât know if you would be comfortable with it, after all 90% of his viewers are men.
while in the middle of answering questions there was a knock on his door, you peeking through. he had been streaming for some hours now and hadn't eaten once, so you took it upon yourself to make him something. setting the plate down, he reached out to rub the small of your back, thanking you.
âcan i say hi?â you whispered to him. you had been watching his stream and was genuinely alarmed by the amount of people who suspected him of having a girlfriend, not that they were wrong, it was just insane. You doubt that the comments would stop anytime soon so hey, why not give them what they want?
shigiraki was honestly surprised by the question, you have not once voiced any want to be on his stream, but he couldnât hide the slight tint in his face of the thought of you showing interest in what he does. âof course.â
pulling you in by your waist to be in view of the camera, âhi!⌠what else do i say. Iâm shigirakiâs girlfriend!â you smiled giving a small wave. the comments flooded with different variations of âno waysâ and âi knew itsâ. âhow long have we been together?â he put a finger in his chin, âfor about -no iâm not keeping her hostage- for about 5 years.â
nothing could hide the excitement on his face knowing that the person he loved so much was sitting next to him, interacting with his fans. after some time you stood up and stretched. âalright iâm gonna go now,â you smiled, giving him a kiss on his cheek and one last wave to his viewers âlove you! donât stream for too long today!â at the sound of the door closing, he turned his attention back to his viewers.
âno, i didnât meet her in vr? what the fuck?â
lowk wanna make a pt 2
Sooo here is my new account
And don't worrymy friend will normlay continue yo reblog the nsfw stuff here but yea
Hey guuy so some people know, some doesn't but this account is the one i'm sharing with a friend of mine, we both are simp of Tomura soooo yea, she's doing the nsfw stories 'bout Tomura and i'm doing the sfw, drawing and pictures so yeaaa i was thinking of creating a second accpunt just for my drawings and the story a new life for Tomura that we wrote together for my oc and that i'm drawing 'cause idk i may use my oc for others stuff and i don't wanna people thinking this account is stealing art or whatever...i'll post the new account name by rebloging this
Hey guuy so some people know, some doesn't but this account is the one i'm sharing with a friend of mine, we both are simp of Tomura soooo yea, she's doing the nsfw stories 'bout Tomura and i'm doing the sfw, drawing and pictures so yeaaa i was thinking of creating a second accpunt just for my drawings and the story a new life for Tomura that we wrote together for my oc and that i'm drawing 'cause idk i may use my oc for others stuff and i don't wanna people thinking this account is stealing art or whatever...i'll post the new account name by rebloging this
Here is a doodle i made of my oc in color quickly !
I just sped run reading you oc x Shiggy comic and shes so cute- I wanna try my hand at drawing her (if your ok with it ofcourse), and I was wondering if you have any information on her and also if you could tell me what she looks like colored ^^
Omg yes of course ! Well first she' like a huuuge simp ! She's a weeb too tbh ! Get flustered easy but is very very caring ! And even if we don't currently see it 'cause she's in her pijama she have an alt clothing style ! With color well she have red dyed hair and blue eyes, and a pale skin ! I'm so happy you fond her cute and like the story ! I would love to see the resultof your drawing ! Omg i'm so happy you asked ^^ sorry if the description is a bit short my oc is pretyy self insert aaaand yk describing soemone that is similar to you is sometime hard !
I just sped run reading you oc x Shiggy comic and shes so cute- I wanna try my hand at drawing her (if your ok with it ofcourse), and I was wondering if you have any information on her and also if you could tell me what she looks like colored ^^
Omg yes of course ! Well first she' like a huuuge simp ! She's a weeb too tbh ! Get flustered easy but is very very caring ! And even if we don't currently see it 'cause she's in her pijama she have an alt clothing style ! With color well she have red dyed hair and blue eyes, and a pale skin ! I'm so happy you fond her cute and like the story ! I would love to see the resultof your drawing ! Omg i'm so happy you asked ^^ sorry if the description is a bit short my oc is pretyy self insert aaaand yk describing soemone that is similar to you is sometime hard !
A new life for Tomura part6
A new life for Tomura part 5
Worship the hand worship-
Chapter 132 | The Plan
Youâre in a relationship with Shigaraki headcannons
TW: Mention of manipulation and guilt tripping.
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â˘You get love bombed, he gets you gifts, showers you in compliments, then forgets about you.
â˘Toxic relationship, heâs a big manipulator and getâs whatever he wants.
â˘He might even go as far to tell you his backstory then use your sympathy for his own benefit, guilt tripping you.
â˘Removing anyone important in your life other than him, heâs the only one you need to talk to.
â˘Ignores your boundaries but loses it if you ignore his.
â˘Makes people in your life hate you so that if you tried to leave you always end up crawling back to him.
â˘Brings your hopes up just to let you back down again.
â˘Makes it so that youâre always in the wrong, or at least it seems like it.
â˘Again, a big manipulator and guilt tripper.
â˘Very toxic relationship, it doesnât matter if youâre in the LOV or not.
â˘He doesnât see you as his S/O, he started dating you so he could use you if he needed you and as he saw fit.
â˘Refuses most of your attempts to love him, but gives in just enough that you think he actually likes you.
â˘âY/n, could you get me my phone?â âItâs right there-â âNo. Itâs okay, you just donât love me, thatâs fine.â he then goes on to grab his phone, leave, and ignore you for the rest of the day. He does this often with almost everything.
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Gahh! Sorry, this one is short but i really wanted to write about this as i got inspiration from the song Somebody That I Used To Know, by Gotye, and Kimbra. I was listening to it and was like, this kinda reminds me of Shigaraki and so I wrote about it. I think some of these are inaccurate but they were all fun to write!
I need to start doing other characters but Shigaraki is so fun to write about, I feel like theres so many different ways he could act depending on how you perceive him. I might try to write about other characters that arenât from MHA but I donât think thatâll go well.
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Iâm open and asking for writing suggestions!! Iâm fine with anything as long as itâs NOT a fanfic or NSFW, i am strictly SFW!
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âAnd then no one ever fucking listens to me.â
You sat on Tomuraâs unmade bed as he paced back and forth in his room, ranting about this and that. You werenât exactly sure how you two started dating. He couldnât stand you when you first joined the league, finding you to be rather annoying. Yet now, itâs like he has separation anxiety if heâs away from you for too long. You brought peace to him, he needs you more than youâll ever know.
âSometimes I just wanna dust them all just so I donât have to see those dumb fucks again.â He huffed, running a frustrated hand through his light blue locks.
You chuckled softly at his words, opening your arms invitingly. âWell letâs maybe not do that.â
Without much hesitation, heâs crawling onto the bed with you and into your open arms, resting his head on your chest. He began to slowly relax as he felt your arms around him, but then let out a slightly irritated huff, reaching to take one of your hands with his pinky raised and placing it on his head. You smiled at this, obeying his silent demand as you started to play with his hair.
It was one of his favorite things to have you do in private. Youâve been trying to work with him on dealing with his anger in ways that werenât decaying everything within a ten foot radius. Once Tomura realized how much he likes when you play with his hair, the rest was history. It doesnât matter what youâre doing, if he wants you to do it, you better do it or else youâre not going to hear the end of it for the rest of the day.
âWell itâs not like they donât deserve it.â
âSomeone annoying you isnât a good reason to kill them, Tomu.â He rolled his eyes with a scoff. âWell I think it is⌠especially Dabi.â
You almost didnât catch his little mumble as you glance at his face thatâs currently hidden in your chest. âWhat did Dabi do?â
âWhat doesnât Dabi do? Yeah his quirk is powerful, but heâs so annoying, and rude, and the way he looks at you pisses me off.â His voice was low, his insecurities starting to show. âTomu, are you jealous?â
He fell silent. Everyone knew that he wasnât someone who was good at talking about his feelings. Honestly, it wasnât just Dabi that upsets him, it was anyone. He secretly hates anyone who gets close with you, because heâs terrified that youâll like them more than him and leave him. He knew he wasn't the best boyfriend ever, but he was trying, he really really was. He might not say it very often, but he loves you more than anything, and the thought of losing you hurts him more than most of the things heâs been through in his life.
He doesnât want his one form of happiness to be ripped away from him.
âWell thereâs nothing to be jealous of, Dabiâs cool and all I guess, but Iâm not into him like that at all.â You spoke up when he didnât say anything. âI love you, and only you.â
He continued to stay silent for a few moments. âTell me that again.â He demanded quietly.
Smiling, you cup his face in your hands, lifting it so you can meet his gaze. You begin peppering his face with kisses, saying quick âI love you'sâ in between each kiss.
âUgh! Okay! That's enough!â Tomura frowns, pushing you away from him. He might be acting like he hates your affection on the outside, but on the inside his heart is beating so fast he thinks he might have a heart attack. âNow come on, I wanna play minecraft.â
Giggling a bit as he attempts to hide the deep blush on his face, you nod. âAnything for you, Tomu.â
A new life for Tomura part 5