The Late Night Urge To Try And Organize Your Tumblr...

"I'll set up my new journal!"

My cat:

Word of the Year for 2025

Transformation.

[noun] 1. change in form, appearance, nature, or character.

(Originally I had chose a different word, but then I realize my goals did not align with that word... so I changed it! I can always change it again, if I need to!)

September of 2024 began my journey of self love, self development, self awareness, and self improvement. I sat down with a journal and a determination to be a better me. To be a me who is true to myself and accepts who I am.

There is so much I have to learn and to work on, so many goals I aim to reach, but I know it will be a process. Perhaps one that never ends. I accept that, because I truly want to be the real me I know I am at my core and I want to express myself to others in honesty and with transparency.

This word means more than just my own transformation. It will apply to how I approach challenges, how I think, how I react, how I live and ultimately the world around me. I will struggle, but I have my wonderful husband at my side and friends who will stick with me through the hard parts.

I look forward to leaving my cocoon and spreading my wings.

me: i should really start watching my caffeine intake due to my anxiety, so decaf coffee and tea from now on

also me: SMASHES TWO JAVA MONSTERS A DAY

I feel very overwhelmed.

While researching and trying to learn, I have discovered there are many paths in paganism that I feel would fit me. But I cannot be all of them at once, can I? I see many people saying "take what fits and work with that!" but I have always been very structure abiding. I want something that is laid out for me plainly and guides me. I need something that is set and allows me to follow a plan.

I feel a bit anxious. I do not want to cause offense, I don't want to do things "wrong", and though the community seems to believe there "is no wrong way", I am not imaginative enough to create by myself.

I am causing myself stress over trying to find peace.

2018 was not so much a quantity year, but a quality year imo. I started doing so much better.

2025 Animal of the Year:

The Snake, of course.

I am born in the year of the Snake. I am an Earth Snake and while the snake gets a bad reputation, it actually stands for so many positive things.

Luck, healing, eternal love, good fortune, protection from harm, personal growth, and the cyclical nature of life and death.

This is the Year of the Wood Snake.

2025 is a year of reflection, recalibration, and renewal, offering a mix of calm energy and intellectual challenges. The Snake’s intuitive wisdom, paired with the nurturing Wood element, creates a time to refine your long-term goals and strengthen personal and professional relationships.

Major Themes:

Transformation: A year for letting go of what no longer serves you and embracing meaningful change.

Strategic Growth: Success will favor those who plan meticulously and act wisely.

Deepening Connections: Introspection and emotional intelligence will help navigate relationships, promoting empathy and understanding.

I am waning.

I feel as though I am in that final phase of the moon where it begins to vanish from the sun's light and hides for a few days - as if it's recharging.

Except I'm not recharging.

I'm simply spent. I have no motivation, no sense of hope, no desire to do anything... I just want to lay in bed and not exist. I have not contributed anything to the world these last three weeks and I'm on the edge of simply wallowing. I suppose I already am.

I have met obstacles and simply given up, neither going around them or over them. I simply sit down and accept that I cannot go any further, that I can't do anything better, that I'm not making any progress.

It's in every faucet of life. I've let it leak into my main responsibilities, but it started in my hobbies, my creativity, my self-care and health. I've gone back so many steps on simple things I've been trying so hard to do better with.

Drinking water? I gave up and now I'm dehydrated.

Walking outside? I'll just sit at my computer and scroll endlessly, hoping something catches my attention.

Hobbies? No thanks, I'll just sigh and flick YouTube shorts away over and over again.

I'm unhappy with myself. I don't feel good. I don't look good. My mental health is low. I am at a loss of how to pick myself up. I'm hoping my therapy on Thursday helps.

Thanks for reading.

Earlier this week I hit 150 days straight on my goal app. This little app has helped me so much when it comes to getting things done and reminding myself to take time for me. 150 days isn’t too many when it’s over the year, but I haven’t missed a day since I started using it. Finch has really given me a sense of consistency and success. (Not sponsored, I just really love this app.) So congratulations to me! I’m making so much progress and doing well.

Blessed Belly Touch for a good week.

I love how MH:W has been me and my girl crew saving the world. Erik included.