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Me: *shows basic human decency to cashier

Cashier: ??!?! Thank you! You’re the nicest person ever!

Me: are you ok

Alien: You’re telling me that in times of great distress humans have been known to suddenly gain the strength necessary to lift objects more than a dozen times their own weight?!

Human: Yeah, it’s called “hysterical strength” and it usually happens in life-or-death situations, like when someone gets stuck under a car or something and someone lifts the car to get them out. We can’t really test it though, ‘cause it only happens spontaneously.

Alien: Humans have the ability to tap into untold strength and power and you don’t even know how you do it?

Human: Pretty much, yeah. We think it has something to do with temporary analgesia, so we just don’t feel the pain we should when we pick up a 3000-pound car.

Alien: YOUR PAIN RESPONSE JUST SHUTS OFF?

Human: Yeah, it’s like an adrenaline thing? Do you not have that?

Alien: Fuck you and your entire species of tiny juggernauts.

July is disability awareness month but a lot of people tend to forget it :/ :/ :/

reblog to give roman sanders a hug

I do think it’s a Leetle Annoying when ppl are like omg american food is so narsty and unhealthy.. look at this (food that is only sold at the texas state fair)

I literally had a debate on this in my ethics class 5 minutes ago

Tilda Swinton risked arrest waving a rainbow flag in front of the Kremlin in violation of Russia’s new homosexual propaganda bill. And she wants everyone who can to reblog it in solidarity.

Guys please reblog this, it won’t ruin your blog, this is important

Two posts in one day? But it’s the still the holidays for me and it’s winding to a close so who knows when I will be able to post again. Things are probably going to get busy again, so for now a little fic, to celebrate the new year. It has nothing to do with new years but at the end David and Matteo look forward to a new chapter of their lives. So this is the second part of this, and there is one more part to come (hopefully soon)

David would never admit that he was jealous of a cat. But he was. Or at least he was jealous of the attention Matteo showered Nana with. He wasn’t ignoring him exactly, but David certainly felt a little left out. He wasn’t used to it, Matteo usually gave him all of his attention. He would listen to everything that David said with rapt attention. Now he was too busy playing with Nana, or talking to her, or chasing her all over the apartment.

Laura said he was being ridiculous, that Matteo still gave David almost all his attention, couldn’t he learn to share a bit? But it wasn’t that simple. Getting Matteo’s attention was always a bit tricky and now he was distracted it was worse. Even worse than that was that despite David’s many many protests, Nana now slept in their room. All because Matteo didn’t want her being lonely. He’d pouted and pulled that face until David had let her in. It was ridiculous; she was a cat for goodness sakes, weren’t they supposed to be solitary creatures? Nana didn’t seem to be. She’d been meowing at the door the whole time Matteo had been pleading with him.

David was just relieved she didn’t want to sleep on the bed. She seemed happy enough curled up on the little pillow Matteo had put by the window. Still, it was all leaving David a bit grumpy.

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