How Was Your Wiener?

no mom i’m not high my eyes are red because i’m evil

I wish I had a supreme sky daddy that I could blame my problems on :(

i had a vision

I'm literally having a mid life crisis. This is the middle of my life. I'm halfway there, make your mother fucking preparations, God, cause I'm comin up.

The Picture of Dorian Gray by Oscar Wilde

fixed it :)

Kid in my French class: Can I jump off it (the Eiffel Tower)?

Teacher: Please.

tumblr users will see the word shrimp and black out and hit reblog without reading the rest of the post

🦐

"Some kid is nothing to worry about" yassen says, with severe worry written all over his face. Smooth. Truly.