When I Have A Migraine...

all your stuffed animals love you. they're not sad if they're in a box, or on the floor, or not held/played with as much. they understand. they know that you might need another stuffie more, or that you don't have enough space. they're just happy to be with you, and if you ever give them away, they'll be happy there too. stuffies are for comfort. they understand. they love you too. it's okay.

Reposting because I wanna watch a few of them 😁💕

Here’s a list of miscellaneous children’s shows with links to full episodes for whenever you wish to watch them!

𐐪𐑂 Strawberry Shortcake (2003)

𐐪𐑂 Bluey

𐐪𐑂 My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic

𐐪𐑂 Batman: The Animated Series

𐐪𐑂 My Friend Rabbit

𐐪𐑂 Care Bears (1985)

𐐪𐑂 Care Bears: Unlock the Magic

𐐪𐑂 Rupert

𐐪𐑂 Maggie and the Ferocious Beast

𐐪𐑂 Miss Spider’s Sunny Patch Friends

𐐪𐑂 Little Bear

𐐪𐑂 Rolie Polie Olie

𐐪𐑂 Babar

𐐪𐑂 64 Zoo Lane

𐐪𐑂 The Upside Down Show

𐐪𐑂 Rubberdubbers

𐐪𐑂 Monster High (G1)

𐐪𐑂 Monster High (G3)

𐐪𐑂 Ruby Gloom

𐐪𐑂 Super Mario Brothers Super Show

𐐪𐑂 Growing Up Creepie

𐐪𐑂 Tutenstein

𐐪𐑂 The Magic School Bus

𐐪𐑂 Angelina Ballerina

𐐪𐑂 Moomin (1990)

𐐪𐑂 Whisker Haven: Tales with the Palace Pets

𐐪𐑂 Enchantimals: Tales from Everwilde

𐐪𐑂 Catch! Teenieping

𐐪𐑂 Onegai! My Melody

𐐪𐑂 Little Twin Stars

𐐪𐑂 Sugarbunnies

𐐪𐑂 Calico Critters

I was a low verbal autistic kid that used plushies to communicate with people, and boy howdy did teachers/adults in general not like that past a certain age. Jokes on u fukkos, cool people absolutely adore seeing plushies just hangin out

Joy Sullivan, from "Late Bloomer", Instructions for Traveling West

Ranting

I feel really sad lately. Feel almost alone because I feel like no one really understands me. I try to make friends online, but most people just blame me for things out of my control or just get upset with me because I struggle to take jokes or anything. I have two friends I really care about and I should be happy about that, but when they are busy I just feel even more alone. Feel like I'm almost dependent on other people which is bad and I need to fix that. I think I need to find happiness in myself, but it's so hard when you live with so much guilt and trauma. Feels like my own mind and skin is filthy and can't get clean so I crave other people to be around so I can take my mind off of it. I'm sorry to rant about this, I just don't know what else to do and wanted to get it off my chest and throw into void. I just feel scared to talk about my issues sometimes cause what if I word it wrong and someone gets mad at me? I'm sorry if this seems like a pity me or something, I just want to curl up in a ball and cry because feel sad, alone, and like I'm a bad person.

“Masking privilege” for autistic people reminds me of “straight passing privilege” for queer couples or “cis passing privilege” for trans people. As soon as other people find out that you’re autistic, or queer, or trans, you no longer have that privilege, so why say you have it at all?

It’s not a privilege to work myself to death in a poor attempt to fit in with allistic cis straight people as a medium-high needs autistic. I can’t really mask at all, though I can kind of “tone down” some of my more obviously autistic behaviors.

“Masking privilege” is bullshit.

Things I Wish I Knew Going into College

Listen up mother fuckers. Here’s the truth about college. No sugar coating, none of that cutesy shit. Here’s what I wish I knew before I stepped foot on campus.

When people say communal bathrooms aren’t that bad what they actually mean is people will leave their dirty underwear in the showers, used tampons, clean their dishes in the bathroom sink, and leave their explosive diarrhea everywhere. If you really don’t think you need shower shoes, think again.

If you know you are not strong in a particular subject, PLEAAASE seek help. Find a tutor or really good friends that are willing to help you because when you get a D in math because you didn’t seek help even though you knew you fucking sucked at math you’ll regret it because that stupid ass shit tanked your GPA.

You will have professors and TAs (teaching assistants) that give absolutely no fucks about actually teaching. If this ends up being the case, use your resources, learn to teach yourself, Quizlet is your friend.

People might seem so nice in the first week, but I promise you, when welcome week is over and there’s no more free food, they won’t ever look your way again. The ones who stick with you after that, cherish them.

The grind is real. Don’t expect to do the minimum and pass my friend. Because you will fail. I promise you. Sometimes you gotta stay up until 3AM because you’ve got two papers due, a speech to write, and math homework that you didn’t realize was actually due at 11:59pm the previous night. So if you’re going to college just to say you went to college, leave immediately.

With that said, you might realize that college isn’t even for you. And that’s okay. Just remember the thousands of dollars you’ve spent and make your decisions accordingly. But know that college is not the only way to be successful or make money.  There are lots of sugar daddies out there.

You might change your major 2392897 times. It’s honestly whatever. You’ll figure it out and it will be fine.

I know you’ve already heard this one but I swear it’s fucking true. You will not want to drag your dead body out of bed to go to a fucking 8am class. I don’t care if you’re a morning person. Just don’t do it. Trust me. Trust anybody who says this. 

Free stuff is the best stuff.

Sometimes you just need to sit down and have a glass of wine. Or see a therapist. Whichever works for you.

You don’t have to drink or do drugs, but you might feel pressured to. Do whatever you want but make sure you are always safe, smart, and with people you can trust and know will take care of you after you’ve had that 12th drink and can’t even stand up straight.

No one really cares what you wear, how you look or what you do because we’re all too busy trying to figure out how to do 20 hours of homework, 6 hours of studying AND fit in 8 hours of sleep. 

Sometimes lectures are so pointless that you could teach yourself in 30 mins rather than sit for 2 hrs in a lecture. I’m not saying skip lectures, but I am saying that the more time you have, the more sleep you can get.

You’re funny af if you actually think you’re gonna get a full 8hrs of sleep. Try again.

College is your chance to reinvent yourself. Be very careful who you choose to become. Just don’t be that person who corrects the professor or types really fucking loud on their macbook during every fucking lecture.

Listen, you can really do whatever you want to do. You wanna be hoe? Do it. You wanna party Thursday through Saturday? Do it. Weed Wednesday? Go for it. But you sure as hell better show your ass to class and watch that GPA.

Nobody likes a snitch. Mind ya business.

Don’t let anybody make you feel like you do not deserve to be there. Because they will try you and you can still get a ticket for fighting. Except this time you’ll be charged for assault. 

Don’t wear your favorite shoes to a party. Don’t wear open toes shoes to a party. The floors of a frat house or a house party are filthy. Don’t bring a purse, always use the buddy system, watch out for creeps cause they be out there.

Nobody cares who you were in high school, no one wants to know your ACT score or whether you were valedictorian. Shut up. Y’all got into the same damn college. No one cares.

If you’re going to bullshit something, do it well.

Do the readings because when your ass gets called on during discussion because your TA wants to know what you think about Mondrian’s take on contemporary art and you don’t know, you gonna look stupid as hell.

You might have a really cool roommate, or you might have a roommate that has sex with her boyfriend on your bed. There’s no in-between.

Bring A LOT of storage for your dorm.

If you see students napping in weird places, crying in the bathroom, or smoking weed on their dorm roof-top, it be like that sometimes.

Find a really good place to study. DO NOT study in your room because you associate your room with sleep so that’s what you’ll want to do instead of study If you study in your room.

Freshman 15 ain’t real.

SAFE SEX. THESE HOES DIRTY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

College sucks sometimes, but put your mental health first. Sometimes you gotta skip class to take care of yourself and that is perfectly okay. You do not have to justify yourself or your decisions to anyone.

Good luck. I hope you survive. But if you don’t, like I said, there are always sugar daddies out there. Thanks for coming to my Ted Talk y’all. 

The last act of betrayal was my betrayal to myself.

Like everyone else, I turned my back on the girl in the mirror. Now years later, I cannot recall who I was when I died. I don't remember the day or month or year but I know I swallowed the pain.

I , therefore, was complicit in my murder.

-a.

I want a mommy too

I thought becoming a mother would heal me

Although my son’s tender cuddles do warm me

It does not console my inner lonely child

I thought having a good mother in law could do

Although her support and strength inspire me

Her presence isn’t soothing to my brokenness

I’ve tried to fill this void in many ways

Yet I find myself having to accept the absence

Of a mother who is unconditionally there

A mother who knows me because she is me

A mother who loves me because I am hers

A mother who doesn’t judge and just shows up

A mother who feeds me without me asking

I’ve met many wonderful mothers who love me

They say they feel motherly towards me

They say they see me as another daughter

But I can feel the distance

And it’s not because they don’t love me

And it’s not because they don’t mean their words

It’s only because no one can love you like yours

I tried so many times to get mine to love me

Despite her illness and despite her toxicity

But she has no love to give

She has no capacity to take any responsibility

She can’t fill the void for she is a void herself

She has no warmth even for herself

She only takes from others

She forced me to not only be motherless

But to give her motherly love

And I wonder

If I’ve lived other lives

Did I have good mothers?

Because this lonely feeling has always felt familiar

As a little girl, it felt fitting to be alone

The abuse and neglect didn’t feel so shocking

And oh the despair, to feel fated to this

To feel like there’s no place to flee this

This desperate feeling

This dreadful feeling

This deafening feeling

That this kind of love I yearn for just isn’t for me

-PF

Instagram: abookandadream