Emotioncandau - Cocu Trouple

I've had a few Tumblr accounts over the years, some shut down by Tumblr, and one with the caption above I shut down myself. It’s always fun to see captions floating around and stumble across old ones I created.

At the time of this one, she was beginning to fall in love with her bull. I was eroticizing it, wrapped in the fantasy of it all while dealing with angst.

When a wife falls in love with another man, it’s no longer just the open, structured dynamic of cuckolding. Deeper emotions surface. She wants private time, meaningful conversations, shared experiences, weekend getaways with another man that don't include me. The things we all crave in a boyfriend-girlfriend or husband-wife relationship.

That’s when I started noticing little lies, half-truths… and eventually bigger ones. I couldn't contain my angst, I snooped on her phone. Watching her fall in love was incredibly arousing, but also deeply painful. The fear of losing her was overwhelming. It stripped away my confidence as a husband. Yes, it emasculated me even further.

Long story short: in a fit of angst, I decided I no longer wanted to be “Sissy By Her.” I deleted the account, threw away all my panties, and ordered men’s boxers. When they arrived, I put them on proudly, trying to "man up."

But it felt fake. Not me. I hated the feeling of being in mens boxers again, lose around my dick, just not fitting my body right.

That angsty fit lasted maybe seven days before I ordered 20 pairs of the thong panties I love, in all different colors. Yes probably went over board with the amount, it just felt like such a strong need.

By then, my wife had ended things with him in an attempt to protect our marriage. And I begged her, truly begged her, to go back. To reconnect with him. To cuckold me however she wants. Even if it means being in love with another man. So is was fitting to name my next blog - life of.

@myheartinherhands

She still loves you, but as her bond with her boyfriend deepens, that love is shifting. It’s not just the incredible sex they share, but the time, connection, and emotional intimacy they’re building together.

As a cuckold, you were raised with monogamous values, yet you've given her permission, and even encouragement to be with other men sexually. Enjoyed her being the slut you fantasize about and love.  In doing so, you’ve remained monogamous while inviting her into a non-monogamous life. That contrast creates a unique dynamic, one that challenges the very foundation of traditional love and partnership.

It can be hard at first to understand how your wife could fall in love with another man. How she can still love you and be in love with him. The angst, humiliation, feelings of insecurity and fear of her leaving you cloud your thinking. Even more the arousal you feel, how you jack off thinking about her with him. The way it makes you feel even more inadequate knowing he is fucking her better than you ever could and it is him she is desiring to fulfill that need while at the same time he is fulfilling other needs you used to. There are many kinds of love. Unconditional love we have for our children. Platonic love we have for friends who are there for you for support and encouragement the same way you are for them. There is compassionate love, being kind to people as a whole. And of course self love. The type of love and confidence a wife gains when she cuckolds her husband and learns she has her own freedom. Freedom to dress how she wants, flirt, have fun, see and do what ever she desires. 

The way we love our primary partner. That romantic and passionate love where you  desire just being with someone. That person you have a strong physical attraction to and chemistry that gives you that sexual fulfillment.  For you this is your wife. Even as she cuckolds you, gets fucked better by another man, it increases your own sexual fulfillment. Then all the kinky things. Licking her pussy after she has been fucked, cleaning cum out of it. Submitting to her and the men she fucks. Maybe even pleasuring other men yourself, being feminized and encouraged now by your wife. For your wife in love with her boyfriend this type of love may be shifting towards him. Then there is deep, enduring love. The love for a long-term partner. This is the love she may feel for you right now. Rooted in stability, a life built together, having children. A history of loyalty and encouragement. A comfortable place from a shared life and memories that are irreplaceable. She still loves you, but she desires you inside her pussy less and less and you fantasize about her pussy now only being available for other men. You are now having some of your best orgasms only being able to lick her, or rubbing your dick on her skin as she tells you about the amazing sex and weekend she had with her boyfriend. You are becoming more like to best girlfriends. Talking about men and how good they fuck, about their cock size, red flags that can be overlooked, about the next trip they will take and when. Then of course there is residual love. Our first girlfriend or boyfriend we fell in love with and had sex with. You never fully lose your love for them. An ex-husband or past partner. You can appreciate the time you had together, the shared history and memories. She may no longer be in love with you, but sill wants the best for you. When you step back and look at the full picture you can start to understand it. Be happy for her as you are aroused by it. The angst fades away. In the traditional sense, with the monogamous values you were brought up to believe it is hard to make sense of how she can love two people, how she can love another man the same way she loves or loved you. Share those intimate movements with him that used to be exclusively yours. Remember you encouraged it, and when you look at it with a clear view, it makes sense. You were part of making her happy both with you, then with another man as she cuckolded you, then with him she has fallen in love with.

Haunting

Confess how much it turns you on to have lost her to him, how much you day dream about her with someone else. How much you would want her to message you about her and her new boyfriend. To know that they are hooking up all weekend and making love together. How much would you cum listening to all the details of what they did together and how good he fucks her now. Being friend zoned and told about how much she loves riding his cock.

@myheartinherhands

@myheartinherhands