Jazz Finds The Heroes Knowing Or Helping Her And Her Family A Complete Conflict Of Interest And Essentially

Hal is married ?

Yay! Good for him!

Hal is married to a man?

Yay! Good for him! Hal deserves to be happy!

Hal is married to an archer?

Well weird choice but…

An archer that isn’t Green Arrow?

… oh shit

AU where Amity Parkers are basically elves in the DC universe.

Hear me out.

Canonically in the DC universe the Lazarus Pits are used to extend the life of Ras Al Ghul and others on top of bringing people back from the dead.

Ras Al Ghul is OLD. He has been around for hundreds of years.

Now in the DP x DC crossovers it is usually agreed that the Lazarus Pits are corrupted ectoplasm or ectoplasm mixed with magic or just un-pure ectoplasm. Regardless of what is chosen it is agreed that it’s base is ectoplasmic in origin.

Ectoplasm extends life and the entire city of Amity Park is

DRENCHED

in Pure ectoplasm.

Think about it for a moment. The ENTIRE CITY of Amity Park has constant exposure to the PURE form of the Lazarus Pits. After a few years they would JUST STOP AGING.

Danny and his sister (and Dani if she’s in your fic) would be first.

Tucker and Sam and Valerie would be next.

Vlad only looks old because of his hair colour.

The teens of amity who are constantly around fights would be next and everyone else afterwords.

Frankly immortal Danny is good.

IMMORTAL AMITY PARK IS HILARIOUS.

If you add in the headcanon that Amity flickers into and out of the ghost zone after the whole Pariah Dark incident which is a place CANONICALLY OUT OF TIME.

Well now you got them aging even slower and the hilarity of Amity park just being a city of holograms to Elmerton and the rest of the world that you can sometimes interact with causing people to treat it more like a myth rather then an actual place you can move to if you’re insane enough. Also the ectoplasmic exposure would probably concentrate over time which would make it hard to move there or leave for long periods of time without getting insanely sick/going mentally insane/dying dissuading people from visiting/moving/leaving there even more and by that point the government might just decide to pretend the city doesn’t exist as long as they promise to keep their problems to themselves (personally I headcanon that ectoplasm is a heavy substance that disperses back into the ghost zone quickly and that it wouldn’t really spread outside of Amity Park so Elmerton and the surrounding are completely fine and that since Amity is exposed slowly over time the ectoplasm won’t immediately kill them). Throw in Tucker/Technus wiping out any information on them on the online world and you get the Justice League completely unaware of a LITERAL CITY OF IMMORTALS JUST CHILLING OUT A STATE OVER FROM WISCONSIN.

Better yet, since the aging is slowed down due to ectoplasm then the people of Amity would age similar to how the neverborn ghosts (like Boxed Lunch daughter of Lunch Lady and Box Ghost) so Mentally they ARE the age they look with just an INSANE amount of experience hence ELVES.

THINK OF ALL THE POSSIBILITIES THIS WOULD CREATE FOR FICS!

World ending event that the Justice League can’t solve unless they somehow develop a cure for an alien disease plaguing the world MEET random Amity Park scientist who has DEDICATED their life, even before it got extended, to solving diseases and has a ton of practice because ectoplasmic disease make logic go out the window anyways and 150 years of practice looking at things sideways means the “world ending plague” is solved within 10 minutes by a person on vacation.

Like the Justice League would be like *surprise Pikachu face* and this random Amity Parker would be like it’s no big deal and my vacation is over so bye AND WHEN THE JUSTICE LEAGUE TRIES TO FIND THE PERSON THAT SAVED THEM NOTHING WOULD COME UP AND IT WOULD DRIVE THEM INSANE.

Now what about Young Justice/Teen titans? They are trying to take down a bad guy and get civilians out of the way but the bad guy is tough and they can’t lose a fighter or more people WILL die and then suddenly this Asian teen (Kwan) who has had like 200 years of dodging practice and taking hits from both football and ghost fights and with slight enhanced strength that even old Amity grandmas have comes barreling through and grabbing people then professionally acrobating his way out of harm while luging like four people and continues to do so until the YJL no longer has to worry about civilians while fighting. Everyone on the team thinks the teen must be a meta and all agree that he’d be a perfect addition to the team only to not be able to find him afterwards and to realize that he doesn’t even come up on the Justice leagues facial recognition. Meanwhile Kwan was just so used to getting out of the way of ghost fights and when he saw people who couldn’t remove themselves from the danger zone he just acted on instinct cause sometimes amity kids can’t move fast enough and need an extra hand getting to safety which is no big deal and sides he’s still got to find that flower shop so he can pick up the lilies he KNOWS Dash loves and can’t get in Amity so that he can pass them on to Jack (another football player) cause Kwan knows they’ve been crushing on each other for the past 50 years and he is nothing if not a great wingman and friend who is more then willing to give them a shove in the right direction.

Like just the possibilities even without adding team Phantom professional ghost hunters/martial artists/weapons and technology experts/superhero/eldritch horrors/phycologist/hacker into the mix.

Every time the Justice League gets info on an Amity Parker it would just disappear into thin air like someone hacked into their computer and erased it leaving no traces whatsoever. Any physical documents they print out also just disappear even when placed in a locked room in space.

It would drive them nuts.

Just the Chaos immortal Amity Park would cause

Song mishaps chapter 2

Washing Machine Heart by Mitski

“Toss your dirty shoes in my washing machine heart Baby, bang it up inside,” Lloyd felt like a useless child, Kim had to go through so much worse and here Lloyd was broken up over nothing. It was pathetic.

They had both been hurt and abandoned, but Kim had still been able to make something of himself. What had Lloyd done the second Kim disappeared ? He drank himself to death.

Sucho Sucho Sucho, with out him what was the point to life at all? At least his death had brought them back together.

Kim wasn’t a good person, Lloyd would be naive to think otherwise. No one does something for free. Kim was willing, able and had used everyone that had used him right back to his advantage.

It still hurt.

—- —- —-

A Baron, baroness, knight and student were huddled under the stair way. They weren’t spying. They weren’t! They just figured maybe if they stayed to talk a bit longer….and well it’s not like Javier had to sleep anway.

The baron hushed the families conversation in order to hear lloyd. He hadn’t … gotten around to talking to hi son yet.. Arcos didn’t even know where to start.

Lloyd’s voice carried out to them, “Toss your dirty shoes in my washing machine heart

Baby, bang it up inside.”

They weren’t quite sure as to what a “washing machine” was. More than likely Lloyds new invention, understandably it probably will wash clothes. So why was Lloyd comparing his heart of all things to it.

Bang bang it up inside? Was Lloyd hurt ?

Javier’s teeth clenched, was Lloyd telling someone to hurt him? This stupid bastard.

—- —- —-

“I'm not wearing my usual lipstick

I thought maybe we would kiss tonight”

Kim laughed as Lloyd twirled, hair flouncing about. When’s the last time anyone kissed them? Kim should fix that.

—— —— —-

“I'm not wearing my usual lipstick

I thought maybe we would kiss tonight”

Javier “gently” but quietly placed his hands on to a nearby table. He was going crazy. First he was unable to find any man named Kim and now this. Kiss? Lloyd kissing some unknown man?! Never! As his knight it was Javier’s duty to keep Lloyd safe from any unsavory characters and if this song was any indication… Lloyd was willing to be hurt in exchange for love.

Or maybe already had been? Biting into his lower lip Javier racked his brain for clues. He read poetry, loved it even but he’d never heard any songs like Lloyd’s before.

Wait a fucking minute, lipstick??!?!

—- —- ——

“Baby will you kiss me already and” Kim felt giddy in a sad sort of way. He wanted to scoop Lloyd up and take care of him. Them. They were technically the same soul. Huh, does this count as self love? He surly doesn’t feel like he loves himself. He doesn’t particularly even like himself. Or was Kim just inherently selfish?

Kim had “meet” Lloyd early in life, his imaginary friend. His first friend, his first everything. The last good thing he had when his life was falling apart and he had picked up that damn book.

—- —- —-

“Baby will you kiss me already and…”

Arcos watched Javier’s face turn a bright pink as wood cracked. Well at least him and the family were in agreement they may have made mistakes but no one was going to get away with breaking his kids heart!

—— —- —-

“Toss your dirty shoes in my washing machine heart

Baby, bang it up inside”

“Baby, though I've closed my eyes”

The barons family sighed as the heard Lloyd’s scratchy sweet voice grow tired. Arcos sighed they were definitely going to need at family meeting after this. Why did Lloyd never say he enjoyed singing? Inventing? Architecture?

Did he even know his own son at all?

—- —- —-

“I know who you pretend I am”

“I know who you pretend I am” Lloyd’s voice cracked, to be fair he’d never sang much before. Not in this body- his own body. Kims was always better for that sort of thing.

It stung, he drank and his family did nothing, he yelled and screamed and hurt and they assumed he was a brat instead of asking of listening. He died, he died and put Kim in the front seat. And they. Didn’t. Notice. Kim wasn’t even trying.

His mouth met the taste of salt as he sang on.

—- —- —-

“I know who you pretend I am”

“I know who you pretend I am”

Juliens lips pursed, he felt targeted despite this obviously being a love song. It would be lying if he said he had never pictured Javier as his older brother instead. They all had. That he hadn’t wished for it that he had never said it out loud. That he had never pretended Lloyd wasn’t his brother at all and thrown it in his face.

Gods he had thrown it in Lloyd’s face.

Julien waved off the guilt, this wasn’t about him. This was about someone who had played white his brothers heart. And he would never forgive them for it.

—- —- —-

“Do mi ti Why not me?”

“Why not me? Do mi ti”

“Why not me? Why not me? Do mi ti” Lloyd grit his teeth, why not me? What did I ever do that was so wrong? He knew he wasn’t what anyone in the estate wanted but he wasn’t horrible. He stayed out of everyone’s way. So why. Why not him? Why didn’t they care about him like… he knows he knows his parents love him. But never the way they do about Javier, Julien. Not like how they love Kim.

—- —- —-

“Do mi ti Why not me?”

“Why not me? Do mi ti”

“Why not me? Why not me?”

Julien sucked in a breath okay so maybe this song was impart about him. Them. Impart about them. All of them really.

Javier felt his head spin, why not him? Because he’s awful, stilling Javier stopped himself from immediately eye rolling. And why was that? Why was his first thought to disregard Lloyd’s feelings sure he had been a jerk in the past but …

But that’s not true something in his contours whispered. Was he really that bad a useless drunk sure but he never went out of his way to be cruel. Except to him, and that was only when they were kids. After the sword incident Lloyd had backed off and stuck to ignoring him. Ignoring everyone.

Javier had originally thought of it as pompous arrogance and him being a right brat but maybe it was something else all along?

—- —- —-

“Ppff hahaha Sorry sorry I don’t know what wrong with me,” Lloyd said as he wiped his tears away. Gods they hated crying. Gross

The family below felt a jagged stone hit their hearts.

Marabella wanted to run into Lloyd’s room and and… she was stuck to the ground as that same stone weighed her down. Nobody is perfect and Lloyd has his issues. Before and after his stint drinking but for Lloyd to think there was something wrong with him ??

She looked towards her husband and ended up focusing to the window behind him. New flowers and stone walkways. Out further to everything her son had built. Is this it? Is this why Lloyd’s been working himself to death, because he thinks he needs to in order to prove himself.

Her son, oh her son. He was crying, she can remember the last time he had well and truly loudly cried. He was ten they were going to have a picnic outside and garden. Javier tagged along with her and had sat in Lloyd’s usual seat, she remembers him making a huge fuss out of point at Javier and yelling until she scolded him. He stopped. He stopped sniffled and ran of crying without looking back.

He had stopped joining her for tea after that.

Julien caught his mothers shoulder as she doubles over to cry into her hands.

What? What happened?

Kyle is a Parallax apologist.

And so is more than half of the universe.

That’s it.

Earth needs to get with the program before another planet decides to keep Hal and give him the love he deserves.

Danny just sings all the corpse bride songs that do not exist in dc and freak his soulmate out lol

Prompt

Soulmate au where, in the dp universe, you hear your soulmate sing, while in the dc verse, soulmates have matching tattoos that glow when the other person is dying/hurt, and keeps glowing after they die. Danny doesn’t ever hear any singing, so he figured he just didn’t have one, and doesn’t notice the mark on his thigh . Unbeknownst to him, his soulmate (insert dc character) is getting more and more nervous about their soulmate, who they could hear singing for some reason, who keeps on dying!!!!!

An excerpt of tonight’s date convo

Me: this is my exact problem with MHA like yeah blood is gross and Japan has different sensibilities than us but you can not tell me Toga wouldn’t fucking book it to America and instantly gain a huge following

(we had been talking about vampires)

My datemate: just makes a cult

Me: exactly! Or like discrimination against quirkless people you can’t tell me they’re isn’t like quirkless cities dominating some niche part of the market (like Silicon Valley and all the gays moving to the same places)

DM (datemate): like basketball or or

Me: they make all the icecream

DM: XD all the dairy farmers are quirkless

Me: the cows just fucking smell a quirk and kick them

Okay but imagine he keeps Pandoras name and no one mentions it ever to the confusion of everyone.

Wonder Woman hovering over an alter portal: Please Pandora help us defeat this evil and return them to your sacred box of….

Danny popping up in Roman? Greek children’s clothing and sighing deeply: Fine but I’m bringing my friends … gods every century

JL: youre Pandora ???

Danny: I’m a lot of things technically

I've been in a Danny Phantom mood. Prompt time.

The title of Ancient does not refer to the age of the spirit but rather what the ghost represents.

Clockwork was not always the ancient of time it was an extremely well earned title. And pandora is ready to retire from her title as ancient of protection.

Danny is in Pandora's neck of the woods to properly return the ring of rage and crown of fire to their rightful home Pandora's box. Danny tries to be quick to get home and protect the innocent, and pandora knows that moment she has found her successor.

Tldr hey what if Danny became a god.

Elves don’t have to sleep as much as humans do. So imagine they have no idea what sleep deprivation is?

Bard (stumbling around, repeating his words and vaguely hallucinating): where’s the coffee

Thranduil: are you okay

Sigrid: oh dads fine he just hasn’t been able to sleep in a week

Thranduil (conserned and horrified): what?!?!

Okay okay okay

But just imagine himbo no brains Bruce Wayne being absolutely positively adorably and flirtatiously giddy at being invited!

Finally! A place he can be smart as Brucie, donate money and it’s a competitive game!!! Also also hi Alfred!!! Look look I’m on TV! And I’m not even Drunk!!!!

He gets one phone call and starts sweating bullets: I should call Tim but I don’t want the other kids to feel left out 🥺

Other guest: how could you possibly know that!?

Bruce, smiling wining and bouncing a little: ….

hyper-fixation….

Guest : on six different subjects!?!

Bruce: I have like…. six kids your point? Also dinasours are cool 😎 (cannon he like Dinos)

The internet/Gotham/high society thinking about how he runs out to hide every time something happens, flirts but doesn’t actually take anyone home (they noticed) and is constantly scanning the room:

ohhhhh he’s autistic

The kids: … your not wrong… but they way you got there is flawed

Ugh. Can you imagine how annoying it would be to watch Jeopardy/have a trivia night with Bruce know-it-all Wayne

Family Discussions-

Me: shut up 3’s an 11 is speaking!

Little Bro: you think we’re 3’s?!?! 😧

(I love that he was more concerned over me calling them 3’s than over the fact that I called myself an 11. Like yeah I’m great but so are they.)