And Very, Very Often, Self Care Is Not Plants And Ice Rollers And Fluffy Blankets Of Peace.

and very, very often, self care is not plants and ice rollers and fluffy blankets of peace.

it’s standing over your kitchen sink and crying while doing the dishes because you just want to go back to bed but the dishes need done. and you don’t know why you’re crying but you're trusting you need it. and you aren’t listening to the music that pulls you into a spiral; you’re listening to some cheerful shit your friend sent you. it’s getting up and staring at your fridge and closing your eyes and then cooking yourself food even though you hate it and it’s miserable. because you know that you’d cook for your friend, and you are trying to befriend yourself. it’s dragging yourself into the shower because you know you’ll feel better afterwards. it’s doing mundane tasks with patience, cursing under your breath, trying desperately to give yourself grace. grace is the beginning of care. care is the beginning of love.

we think it’s supposed to be peace and yet the most powerful self care moments are when we hate everything but especially ourselves. and life does not feel worth the loving. to look into that pain and yet choose to care for yourself in however many pieces you are — that is care. love. grace. trust. belief. it hurts because it’s love where there was no love before. it heals because it believes there will be love, one day, soon.

Tags

healing slowly slowly healing

Thoughts

So I thought I should srew you guys because I realized how less of an importans all of this is. It’s just me screaming in the forest (metaphore for the internet) and some might hear me but most don’t because everyone is too busy screaming their own thoughts into this huge place. But that is not my point my point is I realized I shouldn’t scream into this forest to get anyones attention I should scream into this forest to get my own attention. What do I expect from the stuff I put out there what do I feel while writing/drawing it why do I put it out there? I think most people on tumblr are just searching this big forest and collect stuff they found on the floor but who put it there who draw this beautiful picture you reposted? Who wrote this heart breaking story you liked? Even though I am sure there are a punch of people who disagree, I for myself and not for you think tumblr should be about putting your stuff out there so someone might find it and be happy about it. Be happy! Someone is in a similar situation happy how beautiful a picture looks like or simply just happy because there are people out there who care. So all I am doing is screaming in the forest putting stuff in there for myself and for others. Even though I really would like attention but I mean who doesn’t? That is how we are so let’s move on with our grap and be nice to everyone even though that was not what my post was about when I started but now it is so be nice!

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elliot-gay-boi

2 years ago

Here’s HSTHETE, The 24 Hour Comic I Drew This Year! Thanks To Everybody Who Followed Along On Twitter

Here’s HSTHETE, the 24 hour comic I drew this year! Thanks to everybody who followed along on twitter this weekend as I posted these pages <3

PS: if you liked this, there’s a whole book of these comics available now!

Tags

art cute awesome art Folklore vibes

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elliot-gay-boi

4 years ago

ok very funny guys. you got me. now seriously who left all these neurotypicals in charge of the mental health field

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elliot-gay-boi

10 months ago

The Middle

I wrote and illustrated this story as a birthday present for my partner, I hope you enjoy it!

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art <3 awesome art amazing art I LOVE IT SO MUCH This is the cutest thing!!!!

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elliot-gay-boi

3 years ago

Also I mean he won the fucking Olympics so I think that kinda qualifies at beeing a wind master!

obsessed with the guy who just won gold in windsurfing

Tags

I am not completely serious

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elliot-gay-boi

8 years ago

Gail and Holly

Gail: Hey! What are you doing here?

Holly: Oh I just had to drop of a report. It's a murder case from a couple of weeks ago.

Gail: Isn't the courier usually bringing that stuff over?

Holly: Yeah. He was... sick or something. Hey come here.

(They go in a empty room)

Holly: Is it true? I just heard a rumor that there's some freak out there hunting you guys.

Gail: Yeah, Holly I'm not allowed to talk about this.

(Holly looks at her and begs her with her eyes)

Gail: There's an officer that was shot she's in the hospital and a few other officers took fire.

Holly: You mean you. Someone shot at you? Ar... well you're gonna go back out there?

Gail: Yeah Holly I'm a police officer...

Holly: That doesn't mean you have to go out there and put yourself in danger.

Gail: Yeah it kind of does.

Holly: Oh okay well fine (Doesn't seem like anything would be fine). But lis listen that girl last night I barley know her okay it was it was a stupid setup. Well anyway I just I just thought you should know. I don't know why I didn't tell you I mean I mean we tell each other stuff right. This was so great about us hanging out I I guess that's why when I heard what was happening I just thought I should come down here and I don't know. Just make sure you're okay or something.

Gail: (stops her from talking by pulling her fast closer and kiss her)

Gail: I'm sorry you you just had to stop talking

Holly: I say an other word. (whispers)

Gail: (Is slowly kissing her again)

(Gail comes out of the room)

Oliver: Hey gonna roll out here in about ten minutes so you cool with that?

Gail: Yeah. Sure.

Oliver: Okay

(Holly comes out of the same room he sees her)

?: Hey.

Holly: Hi.

Oliver: Hey. That's your friend from the forensics lab...