Drunk Words, Sober Eyes - Ellie Williams X Reader

- Zia's World ☆.

-‘๑’- about me: zia ; bisexual ; 19 ; she/her

if you want to be friends just pm me! I love meeting new people:)

-‘๑’ - who I write about: Ellie Williams, Abby Anderson and any other FEMALE character of your choice, I occasionally will write for other fandoms and for Quackity because I love him but tlou has my heart

-‘๑’ I write: headcanons, stories based off songs and things I think of in my silly little brain.

-‘๑’ - my content: I write ALOT of depressing and violent things. If you are not in the right mental state please DO NOT read my work.

-‘๑’ - rules: men DO NOT interact, NO kind of hate, bullying, sexism, homophobia, and mocking of any religion (including Christianity) is not allowed on my page. If it is found that you broke one of the rules you will be blocked immediately.

-‘๑’ - requests: requests are open till I say otherwise. You can send me song requests or your silly little thoughts:)

-‘๑’- request rules: Men are NOT allowed to request, if it is found that you are a man, you will be blocked immediately. I will NOT answer requests if they make me uncomfortable.

I DO NOT like to be rushed. Writing takes a lot of time and energy. I might take awhile to answer your request because I do not want to give anyone anything less than what they deserve so please be patient with me. I do have a life outside of this app, so once again I do ask that you are patient.

-‘๑’- my work: All my work and plot twists are all my original ideas. I do take inspiration from music and I give credit where it's due. DO NOT copy my work or repost it as your own. If you take inspiration give credit. If I do find out you stole my work without credit, I will take action.

-‘๑’- taglist: if you want to be added to my taglist send me a pm, and I can either tag you on my permanent taglist or a temporary one.

-‘๑’ masterlist

hii!! I was wondering if you could maybe do Ellie taking care of an overwhelmed and overstimulated reader? in an anxiety attack context!

Quiet Room - ellie williams x reader

Hi anon!! I hope you enjoy:)

Pairing: Ellie Williams x Reader

requests are open, send me your thoughts and ideas:)

Warnings: Sensory overload, panic, anxiety attack symptoms, soft physical touch, protective!Ellie

Summary: in which you needed comfort

Masterlist

“Too much.”

It started with the noise.

The clink of silverware, someone’s loud laugh, the fireplace crackling, babies crying in another room.

Then the lights felt too bright. The air too thick. Your shirt too tight.

You tried to hold it in, to smile when Maria offered you pie, to nod along when Jesse joked about patrols.

But Ellie noticed.

Of course she did.

She always does.

She touched your arm—gentle, grounding.

“Hey. Wanna get some air?”

You nodded, maybe too quickly.

She didn’t say another word. Just grabbed your coat, your hand, and walked you out the back door without anyone noticing.

The moment the cold air hit your face, you exhaled like you hadn’t breathed in hours.

But it wasn’t enough.

Your chest still felt tight. Your skin itched. Your heart wouldn’t slow down.

You pressed your hands to your temples.

“I can’t—I can’t shut it off,” you whispered. “It’s too loud in my head.”

Ellie didn’t try to reason with you.

She didn’t say "you’re okay,” or “calm down.”

Instead, she nodded slowly, took both your hands in hers, and said:

“Okay. Then we’ll make it quiet.”

She led you to the stables, where it smelled like hay and saddle leather, not perfume and stress. Where the only noise was a soft whinny and your own uneven breathing.

She pulled you into an empty stall, sat you down, and knelt in front of you.

“Hands on me,” she said gently.

You hesitated.

“C’mon. Just... hold onto my jacket.”

You gripped the soft fabric, trembling.

“Okay,” she whispered. “Breathe in for four. Like this.”

She exaggerated her inhale, slow and deep.

You mirrored her.

“Now hold it... three... two... and let it go.”

You exhaled.

“Again.”

She did this with you for five minutes.

Every time your eyes darted to the shadows, she squeezed your knee.

Every time your breath hitched, she whispered: “With me.”

She didn’t leave you in that storm.

She sat in it with you.

And eventually… the waves calmed.

You opened your eyes. The buzzing was gone. The weight on your chest was lighter.

Ellie smiled softly.

“Hey. There you are.”

“I’m sorry,” you whispered. “For ruining the night.”

She shook her head. “You didn’t ruin anything. You just needed space. That’s not a crime.”

You leaned forward, pressing your forehead to hers.

She stayed perfectly still—quiet, solid, safe.

“Next time,” she whispered, “we skip the party and hide in the barn from the start.”

You laughed, weakly. But real.

Drunk texting - ellie williams x reader

this story is based off the song drunk texting by (name i will not mention) and Jhene Aiko. If you can please listen to the song as you're reading:)

Pairing: ellie williams x fem!reader

requests are open, send me your thoughts:)

Warning: Alcohol use, emotional angst, late-night texting, mentions of sex, unresolved feelings, soft heartbreak.

Setting: Modern College AU

Summary: After a night of drinking, a risky text is sent to Ellie — one that unravels buried feelings and turns their dynamic upside down.

Masterlist

1:58 AM

The party had long since blurred.

You were stretched across the living room couch, head tilted back, red cup dangling loosely from your fingers. Bass still pulsed faintly through the floor, though the crowd had thinned. You should’ve gone home. You should’ve stayed home.

But you were tipsy now. And stupid.

Which meant only one thing:

You were about to text her.

Ellie Williams.

Your ex. Or almost-ex. Or not-quite-anything that still managed to hurt like hell.

Your finger hovered over her name.

You hadn’t spoken in weeks—not really, not since that fight.

Not since you said you were done pretending.

She never said you weren’t.

She just... let you go.

But your chest was too heavy, your brain too slow, and your fingers too fast.

you:

you up?

Delivered.

Read.

Nothing.

You dropped your head back and shut your eyes.

This was a bad idea.

The last time you saw her was a month ago. Cold air. Hot tears.

You yelling in the middle of her apartment while she stood still, staring at you like you were a puzzle she couldn’t solve anymore.

“You don’t say how you feel, Ellie,” you’d snapped. “You don’t do anything until it’s too late.”

“You always want more from me,” she said quietly. “And I never know how to give it without ruining it.”

“I’m not asking for perfect. I’m asking for real.”

She didn’t stop you when you left.

But her hand lingered on the door longer than it should have.

2:14 AM

Your phone buzzed.

Ellie:

what do you want?

Your breath caught.

She was always like this—short, cautious. But she answered.

you, you typed. Then erased it.

you:

to talk

A pause. Three dots. Then nothing.

2:22 AM

Ellie:

you’re drunk

You:

so?

Ellie:

you only miss me when you’re not sober

you only remember how we felt when you can’t feel anything else

You:

that’s not true.

I miss you every fucking day.

That one stung. You knew it would. You meant it to.

Your phone buzzed again.

Ellie:

then why did you leave?

Your thumb hovered over the screen.

You:

because you never asked me to stay.

Silence.

You waited, heart racing, guilt settling like fog in your chest. Maybe that was too much. Maybe she’d block you. Maybe—

Ellie:

i didn’t know how

i still don’t

You blinked hard. The room spun.

You:

i’m outside

You didn’t even remember walking to her place. You just knew your hand was curled into a fist, knuckles lightly tapping her apartment door in the cold.

It opened slowly.

Ellie stood there in a hoodie and sweats, bare feet, eyes tired and red-rimmed. Like she hadn’t slept in days.

“You shouldn’t be here,” she said. Voice small.

“I know,” you whispered. “But I needed to see you.”

She stepped back. Just enough.

You walked inside.

The place looked the same—records on the floor, your old hoodie still slung over the back of the couch. You stared at it.

“You kept it.”

“I keep a lot of things I shouldn’t,” she said quietly.

You turned. She was watching you like you were a dream she couldn’t decide was good or bad.

“Why did you answer?” you asked.

Ellie’s throat bobbed. “Because I always do. Because I want to hate you, but I don’t. Because even now... I still think about you before I go to sleep.”

Silence stretched like a wound.

“I hate that you only come back when you’re drunk,” she whispered.

You stepped closer.

“I hate that it’s the only time I feel brave enough to.”

She didn’t pull away when you reached for her hand.

The couch was cold. Her body was warm. You sat beside each other in that too-familiar way, knees brushing, fingers playing with the hem of her sleeve.

“You think if we were better at talking, we wouldn’t have fallen apart?” you asked.

Ellie laughed softly. “No. I think if I’d told you how much I loved you, you might’ve stayed.”

You froze.

She never said it back when you did. Not once.

Now you didn’t know what to say.

She turned her head. Her green eyes were glassy. Raw.

“I did,” she whispered. “I just... couldn’t say it out loud.”

You leaned in before you could stop yourself.

It wasn’t a kiss, not yet. Just your foreheads pressed together, your breath mixing with hers, that ache rising again, warm and hungry and full of everything you never said.

“I still love you,” you said, barely audible.

Ellie closed her eyes. “God, I wish I didn’t.”

Then she kissed you.

And it tasted like regret. Like forgiveness. Like maybe this time, you wouldn’t let go.

Ellie Williams x BPD! Reader please 🙏

Split Edges - ellie williams x reader

hi anon! i hope you enjoy:)

Pairing: ellie x fem!reader

requests are open! send me your silly thoughts

Warning: Intense emotional themes, self-sabotage, swearing, dark thoughts, panic attacks, co-dependency, manipulation, and one shocking betrayal

Summary: in which you needed help

masterlist

“I’m sorry I go from loving you to hating you in minutes.

I’m sorry I can’t tell what’s real.

I just don’t want to lose you.”

Ellie met you when she was at her worst.

And you?

You were a wildfire in human skin.

Charming one second. Distant the next.

Your moods didn’t shift—they switched. On and off. Light and dark.

And Ellie, for all her trauma-hardened edges, found herself drawn in.

You saw her, truly saw her. Not as a weapon or a survivor.

But as someone worth loving. That scared her.

But not as much as how fast she fell.

You loved hard. That’s the thing no one tells you about BPD.

It’s not drama—it’s devotion.

When Ellie laughed, it filled every empty part of you. When she touched your hand, it was like being stitched back together.

But the fear was always there.

She could leave.

And if she left, you’d unravel. So you tried to hold tighter. Love harder. Be perfect.

But no one can be perfect forever.

Ellie started pulling away after you had your first episode in front of her. You saw her glance at someone else for half a second too long.

Your stomach dropped.

Your heart snapped.

“You’re bored of me,” you said. “You’re already looking for someone else.”

“What?” she laughed, confused. “I just asked them for extra ammo—”

“No,” you snapped. “I saw you.”

The fight lasted hours. You cried. Screamed. Threw your knife into the wall.

Ellie didn’t leave.

But she didn’t touch you either.

And that’s when you knew:

She was starting to fear you.

And that made you hate yourself.

So you punished yourself. Silently. The way you always did.

But Ellie noticed the new scar.

One night, she sat across from you, voice low.

“I want to be with you,” she said. “But not like this. You have to get help.”

“I am help,” you hissed. “I’m the only one who’s stayed.”

“You love me so much you’re destroying me.”

That shut you up.

Because maybe she was right.

So you made her a promise: you’d try.

You’d get better.

For her.

And for a while, you did.

You journaled. You started meds. You smiled more. You apologized when you snapped instead of vanishing for days.

Ellie let her walls down again.

And things were good. Too good.

That’s how you should’ve known something was coming.

The knock at the door came on a rain-heavy evening. You opened it to find Dina.

Alive. Shaking. Pale.

“She told me you were dead,” she said to you.

You blinked. “What?”

“She said you lost it during a raid. That you bled out in her arms.”

“I’ve never even been in a raid,” you said slowly.

Dina stared at you.

Ellie had lied.

Not about you.

About Dina.

Because while Ellie had been healing you…

She’d been hiding the fact that she never stopped loving someone else.

You confronted her that night.

“You said she was gone.”

Ellie sat still, jaw clenched.

“She was. I thought she was—”

“Liar,” you whispered. “You wanted her gone. You wanted me to replace her.”

“You’re not a replacement,” Ellie snapped. “You’re... you're worse.”

The words left her mouth before she could take them back.

And just like that, the switch flipped.

You were done.

You disappeared the next morning. Vanished into the woods.

Ellie searched for days. Weeks. She cried. Screamed. Left notes carved into tree bark.

But she never found you.

Because you didn’t want to be found.

Until the next season, when Ellie found something under her bed.

A recording.

Your voice. Calm. Unstable. Honest.

“If you’re hearing this, I’m gone. Not dead—just done. You didn’t break me. I just finally saw who I was when I wasn’t trying to hold you. You were always scared of losing me. But I think I was more scared of losing myself.”

Ellie sits on the porch every dusk now. Alone. The wind carries echoes of your voice. Not real. But not gone either. She doesn’t know where you are. But part of her knows she’ll never find you. And for once, it’s not because you’re lost.

It’s because you finally let go.

𝐈𝐬 𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐫𝐞 𝐬𝐨𝐦𝐞𝐨𝐧𝐞 𝐞𝐥𝐬𝐞?: 𝘦𝘭𝘭𝘪𝘦 𝘸𝘪𝘭𝘭𝘪𝘢𝘮𝘴 𝘹 𝘳𝘦𝘢𝘥𝘦𝘳

This story is based off the song Is there someone else? by The Weeknd. If you can please listen to the song while reading:)

(Fun fact I love Abel’s music, I’ve been a XO for years so it’s only fitting for me to use his music, and with that you can expect a lot of stories based off his songs! Anyway let’s get back to the story;) )

Pairing:  Jackson!ellie x fem!reader

Requests are always open, feel free to leave one, or just send me a song and I’ll take it from there!

Warnings: mentions of cheating

Summary: All Ellie wanted was for you to forgive her

I know that you're hiding something from me

That's been close to your heart

And I felt it creeping up every day

Baby, right from the start

Ellie sat across you, as she watched your hands fidget. She knew there was something off about you. She knew you were hiding something from her. And if she had to guess by your recent behavior she could tell that it was serious.

You’ve been acting strange for the last few months now. You were distant. Cold. You weren’t that ray of sunshine she fell in love with.

As the days go by Ellie can’t help but feel more and more alone. She didn’t only feel alone, but she became touch starved by the distance you kept from her. You were there but you weren’t. You were hers but you weren’t. You started talking to her less, you stopped any form of physical contact with Ellie. No more hugging, no more cuddling. Nothing.

And in the beginning Ellie was concerned. She thought maybe you were sick, or hurt. But as time went on and you were pulling away from her not just physically but emotionally too- Ellie knew there was something much deeper than a sickness. For weeks she’s searched her brain to try and figure out.

What the hell was wrong with you? How could she help you? Did Ellie do something? Was your behavior her fault? What the fuck is happening to the love of her life?

I know that look you give when we're fighting (fighting)

We're fighting (fighting)

'Cause I used to be the one who was lying (lying)

Oh, lying (lying)

Ellie stared at you, your gaze cold. She looked into your eyes, and normally when she would look at you, your eyes would be filled with love and admiration for Ellie- but all she could see was anger. Hatred. Ellie became sick of your behavior and she decided to confront you. The argument started off simple, with Ellie saying something along the lines of “are you ok?  you’ve been acting weird babe. You know you can always talk to me” What was supposed to be a normal conversation escalated very quickly.

“Baby look I don’t want to argue with you- I just need you to be honest with me” Ellie begged. She looked at you with pleading eyes.

You scoffed “as if you have ever been honest with me”

As soon as those words left your lips, tension filled the room. The room fell silent. You could hear a pin drop.

One night after a very rough day on patrol, Ellie and Dina went out. After a couple of drinks, the two girls ended up, hooking up in your house. It didn’t take a long time for you to find out. Ellie wasn’t really good at hiding things.  And when you found out you were crushed. And Ellie knew she messed up a good thing as soon as she saw the tears fill your eyes as she told you. Ellie was filled with guilt and regret.  You almost left Ellie that day. But you didn’t. You stayed. You stayed because you loved her. You gave her a second chance. A chance to prove herself. It was hard for you in the beginning but eventually you and Ellie went back to ‘normal’. But that normal didn’t last very long.

Oh. Now everything made sense. Ellie sat there, mouth agape, at your response. She heard you let out a huff “look Ellie- I love you. But I can’t just forget and move on’’

 Before any words could leave Ellie’s mouth you spoke again “I need space, I need someone who won’t do what you did, because if really did love me, you wouldn’t have slept with Dina”

The words rang in Ellie’s ears:

” I need someone who won’t do what you did” You wanted someone else?

“If you really did love me, you wouldn’t have slept with Dina”

Ellie sat there in silence. She watched you pick up a bag walk to the door. “I’m going out don’t wait up” And you left. You didn’t look back. As soon as the door shut Ellie let out a sob. A gut wrenching sob. She knew she made a mistake but she didn’t know that it would lead to this. Ellie loved you. You were her entire world and to hear you say really did love me you wouldn’t have slept with Dina hurts because she loved you. She loved you more than life itself.  

The words bounced around in her head over and over again “I need someone who won’t do what you did, because if really did love me, you wouldn’t have slept with Dina”

“I need someone who won’t do what you did, because if really did love me, you wouldn’t have slept with Dina”

Oh (oh), is there someone else or not?

'Cause I wanna keep you close

I don't wanna lose my spot

'Cause I need to know

If you're hurting him, or you're hurting me

If I ain't with you, I don't wanna be

Is there someone else or not?

Ooh, or not

Ellie felt her eyes gloss over as she watched you sit at the end of the bed. She felt her tears run down her face, in an attempt to not look so vulnerable Ellie brought her knees to her chest, and she put her chin on her kneecaps. You weren’t looking at her- fidgeting with your hands.

Ellie knew you were nervous; the fact you aren’t making eyes contact with her was already a sign. Ellie wasn’t sure why she was crying, all you did was walk into the room and you sat down on the bed. But Ellie had a feeling. Her gut was telling her you were going to say something she wouldn’t like. You were there to break her heart. Ellie let a small whimper and turned to look at her. You didn’t reach out to her, like you normally would. You didn’t comfort her. You just looked at her and you said “Ellie now is not the time to cry” Your face was as beautiful as always. You voice calm, while Ellie was wreck across from you.

“Is there someone else?” Ellie whispered. And as soon as those words left her mouth, Ellie could tell by your facial expression there was. There is someone else.

“No” Ellie whispered, frantic as brought her hands over her ears as she let out loud sobs, repeating the words no over and over again. There is someone else.

For how long? Was it a girl or a boy? Ellie was the other women.

Ellie needed to hear the words leave your mouth. She needed you to say yes. She needed to know if she lost her spot. Being the girl you came home to, being the girl you shared your hopes and dreams with. She wanted to be that girl forever, but she isn’t that girl anymore. There was someone else. Ellie needed to know. Ellie didn’t want to be with anyone but you. You were her everything, even the thought of her being with someone disgusts her.

As Ellie sat there rocking back and forth screaming her lungs out, she felt you gently holding her, and shushing her.

 “Sh sh sh baby its ok” you said softly. Even with the current situation Ellie immediately leaned into your hold, grabbing onto your t-shirt and sobbing into your arms. You were humming a soft tune, because you knew music always calmed Ellie down. You knew her better than she knew herself.

When Ellie eventually calmed down she pulled away from you slowly, looking at your beautiful face. Your cheeks were slightly wet, from crying as well. Ellie asked the question again:

“Is there someone else?”

And that three letter word let your mouth. Ellie wished you didn’t confirm it. But her question was answered when you let out a simple;

“Yes.”

I don't deserve someone loyal to me

Don't you think I see?

And I don't want to be a prisoner to who I used to be

I swear I changed my ways for the better, the better

'Cause I wanna be with you forever, forever

Ellie was drunk. That night that she hooked up with Dina. She was drunk. Alcohol is not an excuse for cheating, and she knew that but she was drunk. Ellie didn’t think that one drunken mistake would cost her the love of her life.

You were too good for Ellie. Too loving. The things Ellie has done in her life that was disgusting, and cruel. Ellie was heartless. Ellie thought no one could love someone as dirty as she was. But then there was you. You loved Ellie for who she was, and now because she was drunk she lost you. The only person other than Joel that mattered to her. Ellie didn’t deserve you. She didn’t deserve someone as loyal and loving like you were. And even when you gave her that second chance she knew she didn’t deserve it. She deserved you leaving her. She deserved you getting with someone else. Ellie tried changing her ways, because she wanted to be with you forever. Till she took he last breathe she wanted to be with you.

 In the months after you and Ellie broke up, she tried proving to you that she was a good person. Even when you broken up she tried. When you had announced this someone else you were seeing was your girlfriend it ruined Ellie. Because she can’t live without you. The fact that you were in a stable relationship with someone that is not her hurts. And even though you had a girlfriend Ellie would still try. She writes you notes, sends you messages through people, pleading that you would give her another chance. Ellie needed you.

 But the more Ellie looked at the situation, the more she realized that this was the consequences of her own actions.

Oh, is there someone else or not?

'Cause I wanna keep you close

I don't wanna lose my spot

'Cause I need to know

If you're hurting him, or you're hurting me

If I ain't with you, I don't wanna be

Is there someone else or not?

Ooh, or not

Ellie looked the grin on your face as you walked down the aisle, you looked beautiful in your wedding dress. Ellie dreamed of this day. The day you would walk to her, and get married. And that you would end up her surname.

But now she was a part of the crowd. She watched you walk down the aisle to your girlfriend of 2 years. Her name was Abby. An outsider that joined Jackson in the recent years. You were marrying the women you had left her for.

 As the pastor exclaimed you may now kiss the bride, both you and that girl smiled as you leaned in for that kiss. You were married. To someone else. The crowd screamed when your lips locked with hers, and Ellie couldn’t help but let her tear fall at the sight. There was no saving your relationship. It had been almost 3 years since you and Ellie broke up, and she still couldn’t move on. Ellie became a shell of the person she was after you left. Ellie was never the same. And Ellie never will be the same.

Many times Ellie fantasies that Abby was the women that cheated on you. She fantasizes that she was that someone else you left Abby for. But that was not the case.

For the rest of Ellie’s life, she grieved your relationship, while you lived your happily ever after.

Authors note: Thank you so much for reading, and I hope you enjoyed! Remember to always love one another and to be kind…. Requests are always open... Thank you so much for the love and support on all my stories, I love all of you dearly!

Yours truly,

Zia:)

If you were to ever do a part two, to any of your stories which would it be?

ohhhhh I'd probably do a part two of she calls me daddy! Like it does have potential for another part... Maybe Ellie and reader kill her husband and they run away together or maybe Ellie loses her mind and breaks into their house and just watches them live or something else even more messed up:)

See the potential dude...….. But idk if people want something like that tho lmao

wait I’m so curious to the angst fic you wrote to in my feelings - ldr :0 cuz I would’ve never interpret it into an angst fic! Do you think you can publish that one too? No pressure! 💕

In my feelings - (ellie williams x reader)

Hi anon, here she is! I hope you enjoy <3

This story is based off the song in my feelings by Lana Del Rey, if you can please listen to the song as you're reading:) This was originally a smut fic. You can read it here, but this wonder anon requested a angst edition, so yes.

Pairing: ellie x fem!reader

requests are always open, feel free to leave one:)

Warnings: toxic situationship

Summary: In which you fell for a loser

Authors note: i know I've not been that active and I'm so sorry. Life has just been busy, i have to write exams, i have a surgery on Thursday so it's been tense lmao, but I'm trying. Please be patient with me <3

I'm smoking while I'm runnin' on my treadmill

But I'm cutting up roses

Could it be that I fell for another loser

I'm crying while I'm cummin'

Making love while I'm making good money

Sobbin' in my cup of coffee

'Cause I fell for another loser

"Could it be that I fell for another loser?" You asked Dina as the cigarette smoke left your plush lips.

You heard Dina snort beside you.

"probably, she looks like she could be one, and she treats you like shit" she shrugged"

you shook your head at her honesty.

It's embarrassing honestly. You truly did have a type for losers.

People who couldn't make eye contact with you. People who would fold as soon as you gave them your pretty smile. You had the control, but yet anything you had with these people weren't real love. It was purely lust. It was fun.

You liked being in control, you liked breaking them.

But with Ellie it was different.

You met Ellie at a gym.

She caught you eye immediately. She was perfect. Her autumn brown hair tied in a tight ponytail, she was wearing pink leggings with a matching sports bra. The sweat on her forehead glistening under the light of the gym.

If god was real this pretty girl would be in your bed by the end of the night

You ran on the treadmill for a while, trying to ignore the pretty girls eyes. You saw her watching you though the mirror. You felt her eyes trail down your body.

Maybe she wanted you like you wanted her.

After a while you tried leaving the gym, you lit a cigarette as you walked out, your bag hung on your shoulder.

"Hi"

you flinched at the strange voice.

Oh. It was her.

Pink tight girl.

"Hey" you responded.

You saw her gaze fall to the floor as she shyly muttered "I'm Ellie"

What a fucking loser. She couldn't even look at you.

You loved her already.

You gave her your name, and you listened as it fell from her tongue multiple time. She was testing the was your name tasted on her tongue and she loved it.

"Those are bad for you" she pointed out you shrugged

"it makes me look hot, doesn't it?" Was all you said as you took another puff, throwing your head back as the smoke filled the air.

You felt her eyes on you, and you heard her audibly gulp.

"Doesn't it Ellie?" you persisted

"yeah- yeah it does"

you gave her a smile, and before you waved goodbye she handed you a paper. With a raised eyebrow you opened it and in a messy handwriting was her number.

You looked at her and she looked away, she couldn't make eye contact with you.

All you could do was smirk, they were always so fucking easy to make nervous.

"I'll call you" you winked.

Now here you stood 5 weeks later, sobbing into a cup of coffee because you fell for a fucking loser.

Get that cigarette smoke out of my face

You've been wasting my time

While you're taking what's mine, with the things that you're doing

Talk that talk, well now they all know your name

And there's no coming back from the place that you came

Baby don't do it

you don't know what happened with Ellie.

The girl you called a loser once, the girl who fell to her knees when you smiled is suddenly a cold hearted person.

"Get that cigarette smoke out of my face" Ellie huffed as she sat across you.

You rolled your eyes before you put the cigarette out.

"Ellie calm down so we can talk"

"talk about what? You're wasting my time with this"

your jaw dropped at her words.

'What a fucking bitch' you thought to yourself.

"I'm wasting your fucking time? Ellie don't make me mad because I will fucking slap you"

she looked taken aback at your harsh words, her cheeks tined in a pink color.

Her eyes fell to the floor, and for a second you saw her.

Your Ellie.

The loser you fell for.

But she suddenly got up muttering "I will not be disrespected by someone like you", and she walked out of your apartment. The door slammed and you were left alone.

The silence was so loud.

There was no coming back from this.

The more time you spent with Ellie, the more you discovered about her. She used to be so sweet.

You remembered your first date, she couldn't even hold your hand and she constantly apologized for everything.

She was a fucking loser.

But one day someone said that Ellie was out of your league. You knew she was. Some like Ellie deserved someone better, but yet you thought she fell for you.

That day changed everything. Ellie's eyes widened at the person's comment and she was quieter than usual that day.

The next time you saw her, she was a whole new person. Her entire persona changed. Her hair, makeup, style, even the way she fucking walked changed.

You were happy that she had confidence, but you found out she was seeing other people behind your back.

Despite never being official it hurt.

You knew Ellie could talk to whoever she wanted to, but you thought you had something special.

One night when Ellie was sleeping over, you asked her the question.

"What are we?"

she never replied.

Every fucking time you brought it up, she always walked away.

What a fucking loser. What a fucking pussy.

Even today, you invited her over to talk. To see if she liked you. You needed closure because truthfully you fell for the autumn brown headed girl.

You just had to make sure.

And to hear her say that you were wasting her time was fucking sick.

She was wasting yours with her games.

And here you thought you had actually met a loser worth your time.

'Cause you got me in my feelings (catch you, it's so much right now)

Talking in my sleep again (you can whistle if you want)

Drown out all our screaming (catch you, it's so much right now)

Who's tougher than this bitch

Who's free-er than me

You wanna make the switch

Be my guest baby

I'm feeling all my fucking feelings

you wish you could sleep right now. You were tired, and you didn't have any energy for bullshit.

Ellie's rant had begun after she spotted you and Dina getting lunch earlier.

Wow so you can't breathe the air of another girl but she can fuck someone else? That's wonderful logic!

But you sat here listening to Ellie yelling at you for some reason.

You wish you could drown put her screaming.

"Ellie can you just shut the fuck up!" you yelled.

You had enough of her mixed signals. You had enough of her practically cheating on you. You were tired.

"How dare you talk to me like that-" but before Ellie could end up yelling again you got up, pushing her against the wall.

"How dare I? How dare you! You fucking lead me on for weeks, then you freak out when I hang out with another girl! Ellie you are really fucking stupid" you said though heavy breathes.

Ellie stared at you with wide eyes.

There she is.

The girl you thought you had a chance with.

You took a step back, shaking your head and chuckling.

"You really are a fucking loser, how could I fall for someone like you?" You asked yourself.

Ellie heard.

She got up walking to you, she placed her hands on your shoulders "i-i like you. A lot. I just didn't know how to express myself- and- you made me so nervous so I thought I could make you j-jealous"

you shrugged her hands off your shoulders and you took another step back.

"That's not how relationships work Ellie, you ruined this yourself"

"Please listen-"

"get the fuck out"

Ellie sighed before she got up. She was on her way to the door, and she looked back at you for the last time.

"smoking is bad for you" she said with a sad smile.

You chucked at her words before responding "it makes me look hot doesn't it?"

"It really does"

you watched as Ellie walk out the door, you lit another cigarette.

As the smoke filled the air, like it has countless times before. you let out a sigh at the realization: you fell in love with another loser.

i LOVE your headcanons of professor ellie 💗 could you write hcs of how ellie reacts to/feels about readers partying/drinking habits? since it’s college lololol tysm!!

Headcannons: professor!ellie williams x reader

masterlist

professor ellie masterlist

☆ The relationship started slow—Ellie couldn’t help the way she stared a little too long when you answered in class, the way her voice softened only when calling your name.

☆ You were top of your class, confident but kind—and the fact that you had no idea how captivating you were made her want you more.

☆ Ellie told herself she’d keep it professional, but she crumbled the first time you stayed after class to ask about office hours and bit your lip nervously.

☆ One night, a study session in her office turned into brushing fingers… then grazing knees… then a kiss that shifted her entire world.

☆ You’re young, wild, and still living the typical campus life—going out with friends, drinking, wearing short dresses.

☆ At first, Ellie tries to be understanding—you’re just being normal, she tells herself.

☆ But every time you text her “going out tonight!” she feels her chest tighten.

☆ Her mind instantly conjures images of guys hitting on you, or worse—touching you.

☆ She’s already emotionally unwell just thinking about you drunk around people who don’t know you belong to her.

☆ She never says “don’t go”—instead, it’s “be safe” and “text me the second you get home.”

☆ You send her a mirror selfie before going out, and it ruins her entire night.

☆ “You look incredible,” she texts—but she’s chewing her cheek in rage, wondering who else will see you like that.

☆ She zooms in on the picture, analyzing every detail: your neckline, your expression, who might be in the reflection.

☆ If you don’t answer for longer than an hour, she spirals.

☆ She doesn’t sleep until you text her that you're back home safe.

☆ If you mention a guy buying you a drink, she shuts down—dry, short replies until you call her and soothe the ache.

☆ If you tell her someone flirted with you, she pretends to laugh—but she writes that guy’s name down in her mental burn book.

☆ One night you send her a blurry photo of your friends cheering shots. She doesn’t respond for an hour because she’s pacing in her apartment.

☆ If you flirt with her when drunk, she melts—but also scolds you after: “Don’t say that to me when you’re not in control.”

☆ She feels disgustingly possessive, and it makes her feel guilty—but not enough to stop.

☆ She wants to be better. She knows she shouldn’t control you.

☆ But the thought of someone else having your attention even for a second drives her into silent storms.

☆ She journals about it often—how hard it is to love someone you can’t touch in public.

☆ She knows if someone finds out, it’s over—for her career, your education, maybe even you.

☆ That fear claws at her every time you disappear into a crowd of drunk strangers.

☆ Ellie starts secretly tracking your phone—not because she doesn’t trust you, but because she doesn’t trust anyone else.

☆ She learns your friends’ names and subtly checks their socials for anything that could trace back to her.

☆ If she sees a tagged pic of you with too much skin or someone’s hand on your back, she gets nauseous.

☆ She once messaged you, “Please untag that. It’s too risky,” and you didn’t even question it.

☆ She keeps a hoodie of hers in your dorm room that she tells you to wear home if you’re ever walking late.

☆ She buys you pepper spray and teaches you how to use it “just in case.”

☆ She walks you through fake alibis—what to say if someone asks who you were texting, who picked you up, where you were last night.

☆ She memorizes your schedule so she can predict when you’ll be on campus—and how to avoid you in public, just in case.

☆ She deletes her messages from your phone every few days, but backs them up in a private drive—just for her.

☆ She creates an alternate email address for your personal conversations, completely off-campus.

☆ The first time you drunk-dial her, she doesn’t answer—she panics, lets it go to voicemail.

☆ She listens to the voicemail alone, heart racing as you slur out how much you love her.

☆ She saves the voicemail. Listens to it ten times. But deletes it the next morning because it’s too dangerous.

☆ The second time you drunk-text her gibberish, she replies with “Baby, are you safe? Who are you with? Where are you?”

☆ If you ever say “come get me,” she will. Even if it’s midnight. Even if it risks everything.

☆ She keeps a hoodie, water, and mints in the backseat of her car just in case you call.

☆ The first time you cry after partying—someone being too aggressive, getting sick—Ellie holds you in her apartment and swears you’ll never go out again.

☆ After a party, you sneak into her place and she undresses you gently, muttering, “You’re killing me.”

☆ She always washes your makeup off and gives you oversized sweats to sleep in.

☆ She whispers, “Mine,” into your hair when you’re too tipsy to remember.

☆ She holds your face and says, “No more guys buying you drinks. Let me take care of you.”

☆ She leaves bruises where no one can see—under your clothes, on your thighs, between your ribs—so you remember who owns you.

☆ Ellie sometimes skips dinner just because she’s anxious you’re out without her.

☆ She watches stories obsessively—knows who you're with, what bar you’re at, what time the music changes.

☆ If a guy posts you even in the background of his story, she takes screenshots and studies it.

☆ She’s thought about showing up undercover, just to watch. Just to make sure you’re safe.

☆ She keeps your location pulled up during her late-night grading sessions, constantly checking if you’ve gotten home.

☆ She keeps a playlist called “when she’s out drinking”—half love songs, half rage anthems.

☆ Eventually, she starts subtly encouraging you to stay in. “I miss you. Come here instead?”

☆ She buys wine and sets up little movie nights to make staying home more appealing.

☆ She starts whispering the future to you during pillow talk: “One day this won’t have to be secret. You’ll just come home to me.”

☆ She says she doesn’t care about other people, but the truth is: you belong to her.

☆ She fantasizes about the day it’s all out in the open—no more parties, no more sneaking around, just you and her.

☆ Her possessiveness grows in silence, but she masks it with careful restraint—because keeping you safe means keeping the secret intact.

☆ And when you sleep in her bed, curled around her, she holds you tighter than she should, whispering, “I’ll protect you. From them. From everything. Just stay mine.”

I hardly seen any love for Dina can you maybe do one her shy x popular trope

One chance - (popular!dina x shy!reader)

hi anon, firstly real! we need more Dina fics! I'm sorry if this sucks I struggle with writing fluff lmao, but i hope you enjoy :)

Pairing: dina x fem!reader

requests are open! send me your silly thoughts:)

warnings: none

Summary: In which the popular girl asked you out

authors note: on a serious note we need more dina fics, she's sooooo fine but so underrated and it's so sad

masterlist

"Earth to Dina"

"huh?"

"Dina are you ok?" Ellie asked concerned at her friends spaced out expression.

"I'm fine"

no she wasn't.

Dina was not fine.

She was fucking fuming. Why? Because you were giving someone else attention.

Dina had always wanted to be a cheerleader. Ever since she was a little girl, she watched countless videos on YouTube for cheer routines, and she memorized them all.

As soon as she became a freshman in high-school she immediately auditioned, and as if god was on her side she became the caption and she stayed the caption up until her senior year.

She fucking loved to cheer.

The makeup, the routines, the crowd screaming for them.

For her.

God she loved it all the attention. She loved all the people around her, people praising her, and telling her that she did a good job.

Dina was the classic popular girl and as cliché as it was, this was who she was and she loved every fucking second of it.

It was like no other day.

She stood at the entrance of the field, watching the football teams run out.

She observed the other cheer teams standing next to hers, they were pretty, but surely they weren't as talented.

The whistle blew and a grin spread on to Dina's face, as she jogged out the massive doors, her squad running behind her.

The crowd cheered as the girls came out, and Dina proudly raised her pompoms, shaking them slightly.

Her gaze fell onto the crowd, as she tried spotting people wearing the schools colors but her eyes fell on you.

woah.

She's never seen you before.

Holy fucking shit.

For the rest of the night, Dina's eyes lingered on you.

Every time they had to perform, she always kept and eye on you, hoping you'd make eye contact.

You never looked her way.

You wanted to but you were scared.

You'd only join the school a month ago and you remembered on your first day of school, you saw her.

The pretty girl with the dark hair.

That's what you called her until you were told her name was Dina.

Dina. Dina. Dina. Dina Dina.

She was all you could think about.

Everywhere you went there was a reminder of Dina.

You saw a bow? Dina wears bows.

You saw someone wearing blue? Dina always wears blue converse.

You wanted to talk to her so fucking bad, but you couldn't. Every time you got close to her it felt like you were going to piss yourself.

You made her a paper flower one day, hoping you'd be able to give it to her. You'd hype up yourself in the mirror but as soon as you saw her, the confidence you once felt fell away.

"C'mon lets go" your friend Abby begged. She'd been asking you to the football game all week but you weren't in the mood for the loud crowds and all the screaming.

"let me stay home dude" you replied

"Dina will be there"

That's all you needed to hear. You raced to get ready, and you put on a orange jumper hoping the bright color might catch Dina's attention.

You sat on the field with hundreds of other people, you anxiously waited for her, you realized that her seeing you would be unlikely due to the amount of people that filled the seats.

All you remember was the crowd cheering and Dina jogging out, wearing her blue converse. There was a grin on her face as her team followed her and she looked fucking perfect.

As hard as you tried not to look at her you couldn't help it.

She stood in front so obviously you were gonna look at her.

She performed with so much confidence, with so much grace. You could truly look at her forever.

When the game came to an end her squad asked if she wanted to go out with them, but Dina kindly declined because she had other plans.

She had to talk to this pretty girl that distracted her throughout the whole game.

Dina walked through the crowd, trying to avoid all the people who were trying to talk to her.

She was growing frustrated. Where the fuck were you?

Just as she was about to lose hope, she spotted your orange jumper. You stood on the side of the road talking on your phone. Dina slowly walked towards you and she didn't mean to listen to your conversation but she did.

"Abby i swear to god if you don't come pick me up in 5 minutes I'm going to kill you"

Dina softly giggled at how overdramatic you were. You put your phone into your pocket on you sighed.

Dina could walk away right now, she could turn away and you would never have to know about this.

Fuck it. Dina wasn't a pussy.

She tapped you on shoulder, and you turned around. Your eyes met with the girl you've been silently in love with for the last month.

Fuck.

"Hi" Dina started, giving you her charming smile.

Your mouth went dry and you felt so fucking nervous. She could probably see how you were shaking.

"Hi" you replied meeting her gaze shyly.

"Well I'm Dina and i just wanted to say you're really pretty and i was wondering if i could have your number?"

You wanted to pinch yourself. Is this even real? Was this a prank?

"yeah" was all you said without looking at her. You watched Dina reach into her bag to pull out her phone, and she silently watched as you put in your number.

"You don't talk much do you?" She laughed awkwardly as she took her phone from your hand.

"Yeah" was all you said.

Dina didn't text you. Its been 2 weeks.

Its not that she didn't want to, but she was terrified.

You barely spoke to her that night, who says you'll even text her back?

You on the other hand saw the situation differently. You thought she was taking you for a fool. Someone like Dina would never just ask for your number.

As the weeks went by you and Dina make eye contact, she would give you a small smile and you would just walk away with a nod. You'd make no effort to talk to her because she made you so fucking nervous.

Dina hated this. She hated that she wanted someone that can barley look at her. But here she was getting mad at you for talking to someone else.

Some blonde bitch sat with you and you acted so differently. You laughed, you fucking smiled and showed emotion, but when Dina was around you barely uttered a word to her.

You drove her insane.

"Dude why are you fucking lying?"

"what?" Dina asked.

She actually forgot Ellie was sitting here.

"You keep looking at her and Abby"

so that's what her name was.

"What's your deal with them?" Ellie persisted.

She might as well admit it.

"She isn't the problem, Abby is"

Ellies gaze fell to you and Abby for a while before it all clicked.

"Dude are you jealous? do you have a fucking crush on her or something?"

"Yeah" Dina admitted "but I don't know anything about her, i tried talking to her, but she doesn't say much"

Dina quickly glazed to you before she groaned in frustration

"she doesn't" Ellie confirmed.

"She only talks to Abby, she's quite shy in my opinion"

shy is an understatement.

Dina was losing her mind. Every time she sees you and Abby together she feels sick. But at the same time she's too pussy to talk to you or to even text you.

Dina could perform in front of thousands of people without batting an eye but she could barley say hi to you.

You were fucking breaking her.

Dina went to an empty classroom to let off some steam and to her surprise you sat there.

"Hi" Dina said in amazement.

"Hi" you responded looking everywhere in the room but her.

'just fucking look at me' Dina thought to herself.

"What are you doing here?" She asked you.

"Abby isn't here today, i didn't feel like sitting alone"

Dina's fist clenched tightly at the mention of Abby.

"Can i ask you something?" Dina randomly asked, after staring at you for a while.

"yeah"

"why don't you want me?"

"What?"

Dina dropped her backpack and she made her way towards you: "like you- fuck- why don't you look at me? I always look at you"

You wanted to run out the room, this was all happening too fast. "Dina-"

"no listen, i know nothing about you but you seem like a really sweet girl, please just one chance" she begged.

You would give her a million chances.

"Yeah..." you started, you looked around the room one last time before you finally made eye contact with Dina.

"so are you gonna take me on a date?" You smiled at her shyly.

Dina chucked and she responded with one word: "yeah"

girlfriend - ellie williams x reader

this story is based off the song boyfriend by ariana grande, if you can please listen to the song as you're reading:)

Pairing: ellie williams x reader

Setting: Modern College AU

requests are open again! send me your silly thoughts:)

Warnings: Emotional angst, mutual jealousy, slow-burn tension, internal conflict, drinking, makeout scenes (no explicit smut)

Summary: In a broken world, Ellie Williams becomes the one constant — protective, intense, and impossible to ignore. Their bond is complicated, but it’s all they have.

Masterlist

Ellie’s hoodie still smelled like her shampoo. You knew that because you were still wearing it, weeks after she left it on your dorm bed like it didn’t mean anything.

But it did. Of course it did.

She knew it.

You knew it.

It was the only thing either of you seemed to know for sure.

You weren’t dating.

You didn’t kiss in public, didn’t hold hands, didn’t label anything. She didn’t ask you not to see other people—but she acted like you betrayed her if you did. You weren’t hers.

But she looked at you like she hated the thought of you belonging to anyone else.

Tonight, that look was on full display.

The party was packed. Bodies pressed too close in the too-small off-campus house, and you were perched on the arm of a couch beside some guy—Kieran?—laughing because he was charming and tall and most importantly, not Ellie.

She watched you from the kitchen, beer in hand, jaw clenched so tight you thought it might crack. You saw it in the way her knuckles whitened around the bottle. In how she ignored the pretty brunette trying to flirt with her.

You knew that look. You’d seen it in the mirror.

Kieran leaned closer, his hand resting casually on your thigh. “You’ve got that look in your eye.”

You blinked. “What look?”

“Like you’re trying not to look at someone.”

Your lips parted, but you didn’t deny it. Just glanced—briefly, too briefly—toward the kitchen. Ellie was gone.

You found her later. Out back on the steps, hoodie over her head, cigarette lit between her fingers—something she only did when she was pissed or spiraling. Maybe both.

“You’re mad,” you said.

Ellie didn’t look at you. “Didn’t know we were playing the jealousy game tonight.”

“We’re not.”

She exhaled smoke, bitter and sharp. “Could’ve fooled me.”

“Could say the same about you. Who was the girl in the kitchen?”

She smirked, humorless. “Didn’t catch her name. Didn’t matter.”

Your stomach twisted. “You’re such a hypocrite.”

“So are you,” she said, finally looking at you. “You sit there smiling like you’re in love with him, but you still wear my fucking clothes.”

The silence cracked.

You stepped forward. She didn’t move.

“You left that hoodie on purpose,” you said.

“Maybe I did.”

You were close now—close enough to hear her breath hitch.

“Why do you keep doing this?”

“Because I don’t know how not to want you.”

It felt like a confession, and you hated how badly you wanted to believe it.

It became a pattern. Nights out turned into emotional warfare. You flirted with people you didn’t care about. Ellie showed up with girls she never looked twice at. You exchanged long, loaded glances across crowded rooms.

Neither of you made a move.

Until the night you almost did.

It was late, the party thinning out. You found her alone in someone’s guest room, sitting on the bed with her head in her hands.

“You okay?” you asked.

She looked up, eyes bloodshot. “No.”

You didn’t say anything. Just sat beside her. Your thighs touched. She didn’t move away.

“I hate it,” she whispered. “Seeing you with someone else.”

You swallowed. “Then stop pretending you don’t care.”

“I can’t be with you,” she said, voice cracking. “But I don’t want you with anyone else either.”

Your breath caught. “That’s not fair.”

“I know.”

Then she kissed you.

It wasn’t gentle. It was desperate, aching, teeth and tongue and every word left unsaid. Your hands in her hair, hers on your hips, pulling you close, closer, too close—

Then she pulled back. “Fuck. I shouldn’t have done that.”

And just like that, she was gone again.

Weeks passed. You stopped texting. She stopped showing up. The hoodie stayed folded at the bottom of your drawer.

But you still saw her.

In the way your phone lit up at 2 AM with her name and no message.

In the missed glances across campus.

In the way she looked at you like she was drowning every time someone else touched your arm.

The last straw came during a house party in the city.

You were tipsy. Daring. Reckless. You kissed someone in front of her.

She left without a word.

You chased her outside. Rain had started to fall, light but cold.

“Ellie!” you called. “Wait—”

She turned. Her hair was damp, her eyes furious. “What do you want from me?”

“I don’t know!” you shouted. “I want—I want you to stop pretending like I don’t matter!”

“You matter,” she said, voice low, trembling. “You matter too fucking much.”

And then she kissed you again. This time slower. Angrier. Sadder.

Like a goodbye. But you didn’t let go.

You ended up at her apartment, clothes wet and clinging, hands tangled in each other like lifelines. She pushed you against the door, forehead resting against yours.

“You drive me insane,” she whispered.

“Then let me drive you insane forever.”

She didn’t answer with words. Just held you like she was terrified you’d disappear.

Later, tangled in her sheets, half dressed and heart aching, you whispered:

“This can’t just be nothing anymore.”

Ellie looked at you, green eyes soft for once.

“It’s not,” she said. “It’s never been.”