Damian Watches Tim Get Trolled In A Roblox Obby Twice In A Row By Some Random Player And Then Proceed

Here's a tv show pitch.

In this idea there is no sex, drugs, violence, or high stakes because I'm tired of it.

Ian McKellan, Liam Neeson, Sean Bean, and Ewan Mcgregor are all widowers and live in four houses in a row in suburban UK. The main drama is them vying to be the Favorite Uncle/Grandfather figure for the local schoolchildren. Otherwise it's slice of life. They're extremely petty about their gardens. Occasionally they'll combine forces against another widower. They all understand technology but are purposely asses about using it. They each support a different sports team and consider their own to be the best. Each actor's popular roles are alluded to, such as Ian McKellan always seems to be managing twelve unruly dwarves children; Liam Neeson is extremely protective and occasionally uses black ops skills to solve small problems but won't admit to military service of any kind - he brushes off whatever outrageous thing he just did as "picked that up in [small English town] when a cow got out"; Sean Bean is at high risk for heart attacks and cancer so his death is always being foreshadowed but he never dies; Ewan McGregor has a different shaggy haired emo teenage boy each season to mentor through life's ups and downs. The four of them are all always bickering to the extent that the non-widower neighbors try to set them up with wives.

It's called.

Widower Row

Alpha-17 and Obi-Wan being friends (derogatory) on 17's part and friends (threatening) on Obi-Wan's part is such an underrated dynamic

They could be so funny and terrifying, like Obi-Wan went through a soul shredding experience with Alpha-17 as his only company. They're friends because what else are you gonna be after you witness each other at absolute rock bottom from torture.

It's like 'dog put in cage of cheetah who's threatening to go crazy', except the dog is a grizzly bear and also threatening to go crazy.

Emotional support trooper except the trooper in question has never done any sort of supporting in his life and is actively an emotional distress trooper to a great number of the CC batch.

I want them texting everyday, I want Obi-Wan mailing handmade BFF bracelets to Alpha and Alpha sending pics back of him flipping off the camera but still wearing them, I want Alpha using Obi-Wan to keep track of and occasionally terrorize his cadets, I want 17 ending problems in the GAR (like Krell) before they begin because Obi-Wan has him shipped out on a personal transport at the first opportunity, decked out with slug-throwers Obi-Wan got him for his decant-day.

Natborn officers think this is all just an odd indulgence of General Kenobi, the Vode, however, correctly identify it as a goddamn threat and their danger assessment of Obi-Wan ticks up significantly.

When Alpha arrives on Kamino, Shaak Ti presses a shiny new comm into his hand. It has the Jedi Order symbol painted onto it alongside a smiley face sticker, and it pings immediately with a new message: Hello! I hope you're settling in well!

Alpha stares at the message, stares at the singular contact named 'OWK' and then stares Shaak Ti in the eye as he pitches the comm straight into the ocean. Shaak Ti's serene smile only grows larger as she calmly reaches into her robes and pulls out an identical comm, only this one has a frowny face sticker, and presses it into his hand. It lights up: I'm afraid we've bonded, Alpha :). Alpha shuts it off and pockets it with resignation.

Cody arrives on Alpha-17's personal recommendation.

A-17: He's the most difficult little bastard I have. You're perfect for each other. OWK: Thank you, he's very handsome :3 A-17: No. Stop.

The first thing he asks once he gets comfortable is who his general is texting so much that has him swinging his legs and twirling his hair. Cody assumes it's Anakin, given they seem joint at the hip anyway, but little does he know Obi-Wan's ability to consistently have the Weirdest Relationships Ever.

"Oh, it's Alpha-17, I understand you're familiar with each other?" Hmm. OK. Cody.exe is experiencing a processing error, please hold. He exits the room instead of answering. The next day he peeks over the General's shoulder when he's texting and sees walls of rambling messages from Obi-Wan. Alpha-17 replies every hour with a single text: Lose this number. Obi-Wan giggles. "He's so funny." he says.

When Obi-Wan meets the rest of the CC batch, Cody makes sure to stand perfectly angled so that he can record the reactions when his general cuts off their introductions with "Oh, no need, Alpha-17's told me all about you." It's always immediate FEAR.JPG followed by a slow spiral of What The Fuck.

What do you mean by that General. What does that mean Cody. What do you mean they text. No. Cody. What the fuck is happening, Cody. Alpha-17 doesn't have friends he has enemies and enemies he tolerates enough not to shoot on sight.

OWK: Wolffe reached for his vambrace? when I mentioned you A-17: That's where he keeps his spare knife. OWK: Hm that does explain the way he eyed me up, ambitious. A-17: Clearly not enough, he should have followed through. I taught them better.

I feel like in the rush of “throw out etiquette who cares what fork you use or who gets introduced first” we actually lost a lot of social scripts that the younger generations are floundering without.

does anyone wanna hold hands until we feel a little braver

Sir Christopher Lee met Rasputin's assassins, saw the last guillotine execution, hunted Nazis, recorded a heavy metal album, spoke 9 languages, was Ian Fleming's cousin (James Bond) & was the only actor in “The Lord of the Rings” to have met J.R.R. Tolkien

troy: warrior of the mind, cyclops: remember them, ocean: keep your friends close, circe: done for, underworld: monster, thunder: different beast, wisdom: legendary, vengeance: dangerous, wisdom: would you fall in love with me again.

you?

Whats your favourite epic song from each saga?

Ahsoka sipping on some hot chocolate: Where's the fire?

Rex frantically rushing past Ahsoka: Jesse dared Fives to try out his pick up lines on Kenobi! I have to stop this!

Ahsoka now jogging along with him: Master Obi-wan is pretty chill, I'm sure it'll be fine.

Rex: It's not Kenobi I'm worried about.

-----------------

Fives, seating himself down across from Obi-wan in the mess: Your robes look nice today sir.

Members of Ghost now staring at Fives in horror:

Obi-wan, trying not to laugh: Oh? Thank you.

Fives, ignoring the shadow that falls across him: You know where they'd look even better?

Cody, hand suddenly gripping Fives shoulder, with the most deadpan menacing voice: Where would that be trooper?

Fives, life flashing before his eyes: Right where they're at sir!

Vader: [opening a desk drawer in Obi-Wan’s old room] Let’s see what this old fool kept in here…[picking up a piece of paper]  Obi-Wan: [in a letter] 

Dear Anakin, 

If you’re reading this, then you must be rifling through my belongings, which means you are either extremely bored (in which case I suggest going and tidying up your quarters, which I don’t need to see to know are a disaster,) or I’ve been missing for an extended amount of time and the Order needs the room to store extra chairs, or I’ve died, possibly while trying to rid the galaxy of General Grievous. If I am in fact dead, I hope this letter finds you well in spite of it, and that you have not gone off the deep end or murdered anyone in an attempt to avenge me. (…unless it’s Grievous, I suppose.)

You will find attached to this letter the receipts for several items in my room, such as the electric tea kettle. I hope you can at least return them for store credit. 

I’ve set up a college savings plan with the Galactic Bank of Coruscant, because I noticed that Senator Amidala is obviously pregnant, and since I am not nearly as dense as you apparently think I am, I presume the child is yours. The account information is in my safe, which I would give you the combination to except that I know you have been breaking into it since you were 14. 

If you do intend to eventually leave the Order, as I suspect you might, please make sure that you give the Council two weeks’ notice. It’s only polite, and you never know when you may need to use them as a reference. Even though I know you clash with them, they do care about you.

Finally, please make sure Duchess Satine’s nephew gets the inheritance I’ve left him (the information is also in my safe, and no, I’m not going to tell you any more details about this. I realize how much this is going to torment you, and I’d be lying if I said that’s not bringing a smile to my face.) 

Your blanket is in the hamper. Wash it on the gentle cycle. The password for the wi-fi, in case you’ve forgotten, is BuyYourOwnDataPlanAnakin.

Be well, my Padawan, and I shall see you again someday – hopefully many years from now – when you, too, rejoin the Force. Don’t forget to change the payment settings for Netflix now that I’m dead or you’ll fall behind on your programs. 

Yours,  Obi-Wan Kenobi  PS: Don’t let Vos speak at my funeral. 

happy valentine's day!

the :) AO3 gives you after telling you you’ve already left kudos on a particular fic is my archenemy because what do you mean :) ? what do you mean I’ve already left kudos here? have you read my favorite author’s work? look me in the eyes and tell me one kudos is enough. I’d give them a thousand kudos and my kidney plus my firstborn. what do you mean I can only give them one kudos??????