Elizabethhood - Elizabeth_Hood

Chapters: 4/? Fandom: Batman - All Media Types, Batman (Comics), Batman (Movies - Nolan), The Batman (Movie 2022), DCU, DCU (Comics) Rating: Teen And Up Audiences Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply Relationships: Batfamily Members & Gotham City, Dick Grayson/Wally West Characters: Gotham City, Bruce Wayne, Gotham City Residents, Dick Grayson, Jason Todd, Tim Drake (DCU), Cassandra Cain, Damian Wayne Additional Tags: Weird Gotham City, Sentient Gotham City, Physical Manifestation of Gotham City, Tags May Change Summary:

Gotham is more than a place. She and her sisters are so, so much more.

ft. Baby Sis

 Read a fic a while back (read three or four years ago) where physical manifestations of each city showed up. Please help me find it so I can give credit for the inspiration.

jokes on you, i'm all of the above!

"people who stay up at night are either insomniac or In love" people who stay up at night read gay fanfiction on AO3 what are you on about?

sometimes i say things on twitter and then make a little graph about it

My most famous thing ig Bat inco quotes

Roy: Sorry it took so long to bail you out of jail. Jason: No, it was my fault. I shouldn't have used my phone call to prank call the GCPD.

Dick: Ladies, gentlemen and Dami, I want to show you the greatest thing your eyes have ever beheld! Damian: A cat? Dick: No. Damian: A kitten? Dick: No! Damian: A kitten with a little hat on? Dick: NO! Damian: Consider me uninterested

Barbara: I’m not like other girls. I’m way, way worse.

Jason: Come on, B! How any times do I have to apologize? Bruce: Once! Jason: ...No.

Jason: *banging a pen on the table out of frustration* Roy, trying to focus on a project: Stop that. How would YOU feel if I banged you on the table? Jason: I— Jason: I don’t know the correct answer to that question.

Kon: I'm sorry. Please talk to me. Tim: Kon: Hello? World's most amazing person?? Sweet pea? Precious cinnamon roll that's too good for this world, too pure? Tim: 'Sorry' doesn't bring back my fucking M&Ms.

Tim: God has let me live another day and I'm going to make it everyone's problem.

Duke: Okay, who's turn is it to give the pep talk? Dick: It's Cass' turn. Cass: Don't die. Dick, wiping a tear away: Truly inspirational.

Jon: Fight me! Damian, standing behind him and holding a knife: *mouths* Do not.

*The squad's reaction to being told they're the chosen one* Bruce: I will not let you down. Steph: Sounds fun. Cass: K. Jason: No, I'm fucking not. Tim: Do I have to be? Dick: Please God, I am so tired.

Steph: I dare you- Dick: Jason is not allowed to accept dares anymore. Steph: Why not? Jason: "I have no regard for my own or others personal safety", as some would say.

Bruce: Tim, is that my mug you’re drinking out of? Tim: No, it’s mine. Bruce: It... looks just like the one I have... Tim: You don’t have one like this anymore.

Damian, eating a meal: I poisoned one of our glasses… but I forgot which one. Jason: The way this dinner is going, I pray to God that it’s mine.

Steph: I think we can be evil. As a treat. Cass: We? Steph: We. :)

Tim: I don’t even have time to tell you how wrong you are. Jason: Okay? Tim: … Tim: … Tim: Actually it’s gonna bug me if I don’t, so—

Dick: Litte Wing, it’s a shooting star, let’s make a wish! Robin!Jason: I wish for good grades. Dick: Nerd. Jason: Nevermind, I wish upon the shooting star to fall down at a 30° velocity aiming for Dick. :) Dick: Jason…

Jason: Clownery. Tomfoolery. Absolute fuckery, I am going to revoke your life privileges.

I love me a pseudo-historical arranged marriage au but it always nudges my suspension of disbelief when the author has to dance around the implicit expectation that an arranged marriage should lead to children, which a cis gay couple can't provide.

I know for a lot of people that's irrelevant to what they want from an Arranged Marriage plot, but personally I like playing in the weird and uncomfortable implications.

So, I've been thinking about how you would justify an obviously barren marriage in That Kind of fantasy world, and I thought it'd be interesting if gay marriage in Ye Old Fantasy Land was a form of soft disinheritance/abdication.

Like, "Oh, God, I don't want to be in this position of power please just find me a boy to marry", or, "I know you should inherit after you father passes but as your stepmother/legal guardian I think it'd make more sense if my kids got everything, so maybe consider lesbianism?", or "Look, we both know neither of our families has enough money to support that many grandkids, so let's just pair some spares and save both our treasuries the trouble".

Obviously this brings in some very different dynamics that I know not everyone would be pinged by, but I just think it'd be neat.

Time travel au where all the Jedi wake up in Attack of the Clones after dying. The ones that died sooner just walk it off like it’s a weird dream. Everyone who died in order 66 is confused but maybe it’s a vision? Most of the inquisitors either panic or run to the nearest mind healer and burst into tears or trauma dump. Caleb Dume/Kanan is absolutely convinced he’s dead and this is the after life and no one can convince him otherwise. Obi-wan Kenobi sees smol Anakin and goes ‘shit just keeps happening huh’.

Ashoka Tano is disturbingly wise and knowledgeable for a youngling. Cal Kestis jumps up from class, yells “not today satan” stabs his crechemaster and jumps out the window (he thinks he got caught by the empire and drugged or something), he steals a ship and makes it all the way to Bogano and picks up BD-1 before Cordova find him getting his ass beat by local wildlife and drags him back to Coruscant. Cere is doing her best to comfort Jaro Tapal but he’s not reassured that Cal jumps out of windows all the time.

Plo Koon and Shaak Ti are scheming to get their sons back. Anakin is busy having a breakdown. Grogu just keeps asking for his Buir. Yoda, always ready for drama, let’s Caleb tell him all about his life and his family, asks what his padawan would want him to do. Caleb thinks about this for a minute and nods to himself. He builds a pipe bomb and duct tapes it to the bottom of Palpatines chair. And steals all the credits stashed in his desk.

sometimes I remember how on the last day of my high school latin class our teacher had us gather around his laptop to show us latin memes on tumblr and my best friend and I just gaped at each other in abject horror. we couldn’t figure out if our teacher was just showing us memes on a Fun Website He Had Found or if he was a tumblr user for real. but he knew how to navigate it. years have passed but it haunts me. he could still be out here

i do love the idea of the Justice League finding out Batman’s identity and the fact that he’s actually just a tired vigilante dad and immediately discrediting his spooky-scary-intimidating reputation, and Bruce just being devastated about it. he worked so hard on that reputation, on that respect, and it’s all down the drain just like that. nobody flinches away from his glare anymore, because they’ve seen him glare at Red Hood and get a spoonful of mashed potato flung into his face for the effort. nobody cares about his threats anymore, because he tried to threaten Red Robin to go home and rest one time and Tim just giggled at him deliriously before mocking his tone and stealing his coffee. they’ve seen him pick a splinter out of a whining Nightwing’s finger mid-meeting. Damian once called him a condomless harlot to his face when he told him not to bring his swords onto the watchtower. he’s lost control.

he decides he wants the fear factor back and in all his brilliant genius, he decides the best way to go about that is to invite the league round for a fancy dinner party, specifically so he can use all his ‘brucie wayne’ acting skills to channel the essence of every creepy-rich-guy-in-haunted-manor movie he has ever seen in his life. it is the only time his kids have been fully onboard and willing to contribute to one of his plans without any complaints. they almost seemed more eager to pull it off than he was.

they spend the entire day making the manor look old and slightly abandoned, much to Alfred’s displeasure, and ensure that the only lighting is a fuck ton of candles, just enough to light the halls while leaving the corners and edges shadowy and ominous. Damian is allowed to have some of his more ‘skittery’ pets roam the manor freely for the night, causing occasional scritches and scratches to come from the ceilings. all of the kids dress in their best funeral attire, apart from Jason who gleefully pulls on an old white shirt stained with blood from when Tim crashed through his window with a stab wound, requesting a medkit.

when the league arrive they’re greeted by all the kids lined up on the staircase, staring at them blankly and ominously, while Bruce gives them all a large grin and ushers them into the creepy looking dining room. the league are somewhat nervous.

during the dinner the kids act completely different than the league have seen them in-mask. polite, cordial, and refusing to show an ounce of emotion. they pick at their food and only speak in vague sentences that refer to various horrific events of their past. Bruce has never been prouder.

the first close call they have to breaking character is when Bruce presents a bottle of red wine without any kind of label. as he pours a slightly disturbed Diana a glass, she asks where he got it from. Bruce happily gestures to Jason as says ‘my second eldest procured it especially for you, earlier today.’

Diana looks across the table at where Jason is grinning eerily at her by candlelight, still visibly stained with blood, eyes glowing slightly green. she pales, and Tim knows he can’t watch her shakily lift the glass to her lips without bursting out laughing. he refuses to be the one who fucks up first, so he dramatically stands up and declares he must ‘go feed the experiments’ before storming out the room. ‘the experiments’ are in reference to the pen of rabbits outside that glow in the dark because Damian rescued them from a testing facility, but given the environmental context it sounds much more sinister.

Jason joins him by the pen to also start wheeze-crying in private about 20 minutes later, because apparently after Oliver Queen had finished with his bbq rib, Damian had leaned over and without blinking stared into his eyes to blankly state ‘i would love to feed your bones to my animal friends, if you don’t need them anymore.’ and from the other end of the table Jason had snorted wine up his nose from how hard he was trying not to break.

amazingly, they never break character, although it came pretty close when after hearing another skitter from somewhere above, Stephanie climbed up from the table into the crystal chandelier and deftly returned to present the table with a large tarantula cradled in her hands, to which Damian stood up and declared, ‘ah, dessert! i will help pennyworth prepare it.’ before taking the animal and leaving to put his beloved spider back in it’s enclosure. the league genuinely seemed to be under the impression they were about to be served a tarantula-based desert, and upon seeing their faces at this realisation Dick had to pretend he’d dropped a fork on the ground so he could duck by Bruce’s chair and stuff a napkin in his mouth while he got his laughter under control. Bruce pats his shaking son’s back below the table cloth, determinedly staring at their guests with that same creepy-grin he’d kept up the entire night.

every member of the league makes their excuses to leave early, much to Bruce’s exaggerated disappointment. the second the last of them is out the door Alfred turns to face the family and says ‘mission accomplished. now get this manor back to it’s proper state.’ and they have the spend the rest of the night cleaning.

totally worth it, in Bruce’s mind. none of the JL will look him in the eye for weeks afterwards, and it was honestly the most successful attempt at family bonding they’d ever had. he wonders if they should make it a monthly thing. It’s also how they find out Damian’s a fucking theatre kid with a gift for the arts which is another revelation in of itself

The LBGTQ+ community was misrepresented and demonized to me from the moment I was old enough to comprehend what it was. So what if what it took to make me consider something so foreign to what I had been taught my whole life was a story that featured two fictional characters, whom I already liked and sympathized with and had noticed had a strong relationship with each other, in a romantic setting? Fanfiction is the only thing that gave me information beyond what I was taught growing up, so without it, I'd still be a homophobe. (Although homopath seems like it would be a better term.) So what, do you want me to apologize for this? Not happening.

i do not care if someone learned compassion from a cartoon or a comic or an anime im just glad they're here with us now a better person fighting the good fight. should it have taken something so trivial? maybe not- but it's in the past! and this is the now! and if they're objectively better for it who cares

you've heard of "quiet quitting," now I'd like to introduce you to the next level, The French Work Ethic:

Do exactly what you're paid for and nothing more

Absolutely refuse to be available to contact when you're off the clock

Never prioritize work over your own health, wellbeing, or family because that would be insane, it's just a job.

Have a little glass of wine

Take as long as you feel like for lunch

Deeply understand that work doesn't matter

Make sure your boss knows they're always your second priority ❤️