Dear God,
dear god,
i have grown since we last spoke, but i have not forgotten. i will never forget.
the silence will be etched on the canvas of my memory for all of eternity
your world, this world, that ebbs and flows so beautifully
the passage of time is a rich work of art that so few understand
and as it spins, the things that die create new life
flowers grow among the bones and
leaves sprout from the ashes and
i am still here.
i wish to die like a star, glowing and gleaming and destructively beautiful.
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Here’s a video so you can hear the water and the thrushes. I took it for you because you couldn’t be there. <3
And the grass where you lay left a bed in your shape
there are so many scars on my body, but i could not tell you where they came from. not because i do not want to, but because i do not know.
There are so many terrible things in the world and I refuse to let myself become one of them
can I feel everything at once?
it is how I feel when I see you, my beloved—
grappling violently between
the edge of euphoria
and the pit of despair.
one of these days,
you will ask me to hold you,
and I will crush you in my hands.
not through any ill intent,
but out of never learning to love
and never learning the art of being gentle
I am not a girl,
but rather a boy in the way
that I am burdened a daughter.
disappointingly so.
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21. poetry, stream-of-consciousness, musings, aesthetic posts
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