Life Lately.

sometimes i feel like school sucks everything out of me. i have all this motivation and excitement at the beginning of the week, but then school happens and i have all this useless homework. meanwhile there is stuff i actually want to do and am interested in... but i never have the chance to do them because i'm so tired and i still have homework to do. i feel like i'm sacrificing a bit too much of my self just to please my school and my teachers

on a brighter note, i think i discovered the identity of the unknown acid! i'm super nervous to go back to the lab now though and collaborate with my team. hopefully i'm right :)

m42 (great nebula in orion) | 28 sec | 1/12/25

the key to surviving grad school (also maybe life but definitely grad school) is to pick a side quest every few months or so. something that brings you joy and that you can get better at over time, independent of whether or not your research or classes are going well. put your need for academic validation to use in a non-academic setting and everything will feel less dire and you will learn you are more than your work

spoiler alert: they did not lock in for the month of october

(i'm back lol)

i'm going to lock in for the month of october! so i'm making a list on here of everything i have to do this week and seeing if i can finish it

thermodynamics module

photography composition practice

titration procedure / lab / analysis / presentation

midterm review sheet

immigration research paper

particle motion lab

energy conversion lab

add magnetic field to ising model simulation

finish chapter 2 part 1 of cs textbook

mini-essay of music in great gatsby

practice test for analysis midterm

read chapter 6 of great gatsby

crossing my fingers that this holds me accountable. my procrastination is way out of control...

regaining momentum ♡

ps: i received roses!

🐍💫02/100 DOP

24 Jan | D-100 | ⭐️3/5

Time studied: 4 hrs

Studied chemistry and did some physics questions. In the evening, I did 10 min of study for my PE practical😭😭😭

it's okay not to be productive some weeks.

i feel like i got so little done this week. i had to ask for an extension on my physics work and my essay in english. i barely managed to finish the work i needed this week. but that's okay. sometimes its good to have mental breaks.

a good advice i was given was to separate the work from relaxation.

when you are studying, you are studying. less distractions when you are working, and good mental breaks (like going outside or grabbing a snack). but when you are relaxing, you are relaxing. don't let the guilt of not getting stuff done eat at you.

put it in your schedule to relax or something, but sometimes you need breaks. sometimes its difficult for me to get up and do work, and i feel horrible for not being able to do that. but at the same time, its a sign that my mind and my body needs the rest.

go to sleep <3

If I have such high dreams, why would I settle for anything less?

55/100 days of productivity!

so, my chronic pain is back after a short break... which means I literally can't do the things I need to do... anyway let's get a good day in...

I accept myself exactly as I am in this moment. My worth is not determined by my productivity or my pain. I am enough, just as I am. Every small step I take today is a victory. Progress is progress, no matter how small. I am doing my best, and that is always enough.

to-do: 1.2.25

Morning yoga

mental health check _journal

Go to the mall

Writing session 1

Reading 2P _opt

Pain makes it hard to work effectively Falling behind creates anxiety Anxiety increases muscle tension Increased tension worsens pain Worse pain makes work even harder More falling behind... and the cycle continues And each loop of this cycle can make you feel more stuck and hopeless, which adds another layer of stress. It's not just in your head - this is a very real physiological and psychological pattern.