Peter: Punch Me In The Face. 

mwah

James definitely didn’t realize Santa Claus isn’t real until he was living alone. He also definitely called Effie in tears thinking he did something wrong, only for her to burst out laughing.

lily and sirius being besties but so competitive for no reason. the two of them just doing the wildest things and getting caught, but lily ALWAYS talks herself out of punishments with sirius sitting there, shouting “IT WAS YOUR IDEA!”

"i need women to have equal pay because i plan on marrying rich and i can't do that if dorcas is making 75 cents to every mans dollar."

- Marlene McKinnon

Sirius Black proposing to Remus Lupin, because he would never do it himself- he has too much self-hatred and self-doubt.

Sirius Black getting down on one knee and asking if, maybe, Remus would be willing to love him for the rest of their lives, because he was absolutely sure that he would love Remus for the rest of his.

Remus Lupin tearing up and muttering in thrilled disbelief, “Are you serious?” Because he’s so happy and excited and he’s not thinking straight.

Sirius Black grinning tearfully and saying, “Yes, I’m Sirius. Sirius Lupin, hopefully.”

And Remus just fucking sobbing.

James was the kid who put glue on his hands then peeled it off

Peter was not allowed to touch glue

Sirius took a big ass bite out of a glue stick

Remus was the one who told him it was edible

Lily: Hey, what’s up? 

Dorcas: The sky. 

Lily: No, I meant like, what are you doing? 

Dorcas: Oh. Marlene. 

Marlene: *highfiving Dorcas* Nice!

marlene obsessing over effie pt. 2

James: Mom, what does your shirt say?!

Effie: Oh, it says milf! 

James: Yeah, I see that. Where did you get it?!

Effie: Marlene gave it to me. Is it a problem, deer?

James: Do you know what it means?!

Effie: Yeah!

Effie: Man, I love frogs!

James: marLENE!!!!!!!!

*evil marlene laughter in the background*

yesss also the hand that feeds is AMAZING

i NEED a dorlene fanfiction full of feelings and emotions and love PLEASE and thank you

Harry: School sucks. I keep almost dying.

Remus: I know, but you have to do it so you can get a job. 

Harry: What are jobs like? 

Remus: They suck.

Harry: But how often do you almost die?