Remus: Ladies And Gentlemen, I Want To Show You The Greatest Thing Your Eyes Have Ever Beheld! 

some emmary headcannons cause i love them more than anything:

- emmeline was always super good at quidditch, but hid her talents at school cause she didn’t want to be the centre of attention, meanwhile mary over here LOVES having everyone’s eyes on her

- didn’t meet until during the war, fell for each other in that 12 year gap

- emmeline wanted to join the order and fight in the second wizarding war, mary didn’t, they fought about it a lot

- emmeline DID NOT DIE (actually, she realised running away together was the safest option so she chose mary over the war and switched places with someone who had polyjuice potion to look like her, and they were the one who died in order of the phoenix, NOT HER)

- emmeline was a year younger than mary at school, she was in ravenclaw with kingsley and that was how they met later on

- emmeline plays the piano beautifully, mary can’t play it for shit, emmeline has a horrible singing voice, mary has the voice of an angel (they have a big grand piano in their house which emmeline plays and mary sings along)

- during the second wizarding war, hestia flirts a little too much with emmeline, and mary gets sooo jealous, which is ultimately just hilarious to emmeline who loves mary more than anything

- mary’s family lives throughout both wars, emmeline (who is an only child) witnesses her parents die during the first wizarding war, and it is a big part of her wanting to join the second time around

- at night before the go to sleep they’ll snuggle up in bed and gossip and kiss and talk for hours about anything and everything and it’s so adorable and lovely

- mary and emmeline get married and have multiple children (i’m thinking two, maybe three) and they grow old together and live happily ever after, THE END

Sirius: So overall I had a pretty solid winter break.

Remus: You were nearly tortured. By your parents.

Sirius: Yeah but-

James: You came into my house in the middle of the night.

Sirius: Yeah but-

Peter: You aren’t allowed to speak to your brother anymore!

Sirius: Yeah, but I got to listen to the new Queen album!!!

Everyone:

Sirius: It’s- it’s a really good album…

The marauders as musical instruments:

Remus:trombone

Regulus:violon

Sirius:clarinet

James:saxophone

Peter:oboe

Lily:flute

Pandora:harp

Mary:trumpet

Evan:bass clarinet

Barty:drums

Marlene:electric guitar

Dorcas:piano

*wolfstar raising harry*

harry: guys i have something to tell you. you might not like it, but it’s who i am, and i can’t hide that from you guys any longer

sirius: harry you can tell us anything!

remus: yes we love you!

harry: okay well… i’m bisexual… idk if you guys are okay with that or if you even know what it means but i had to tell you

remus:

sirius:

remus: harry what do you… what do you mean that we don’t know what being bisexual is??

harry: well yk because both of you are straight-

sirius: I’M SORRY WHAT

remus: harry you think we’re straight??

harry: yeah because you guys are!

sirius: REMUS AND I ARE MARRIED

harry: WHAT I THOUGHT YOU TWO WERE ROOMMATES OR SOMETHING??

sirius: WE LITERALLY RAISED YOU 😭 YOU CALL US “MOONS” AND “PAD” DO YK WHAT THAT STANDS FOR HARRY?? IT STANDS FOR “MOM” AND “DAD”

harry: I THOUGHT YOU GUYS WERE JUST RAISING ME PLATONICALLY??

remus: there’s literally a picture of us kissing above the fireplace…

harry: i thought it was a platonic kiss?? 😭😭😭

sirius: WE WEAR WEDDING RINGS

harry: I THOUGHT THEY WERE FRIENDSHIP RINGS

sirius: WHAT IS A FRIENDSHIP RING??

remus: we celebrated our anniversary last week!

harry: i thought it was some sort of friendship anniversary 😭

sirius: omg i knew i joked that he would be stupid because james is his father but this… this is another level

i made this 😭

sirius and dorcas are hogwarts's smart + hot duo. everyones confused as to why tf theyre dating those sad soggy losers (remus and marlene)

Lily, walking into Potions looking disheveled: Sorry I’m late professer, I was doing… stuff

James, walking in looking equally disheveled: I’m stuff

Remus: Don’t kid yourself, she pushed you down the stairs

At Jily's wedding:

Church: If anyone objects to this union, speak now or forever hold your peace.

Evan: LILY.

*Regulus and Dorcas trying to hold Evan back while Barty is laughing*

Lily: For the last time, Evan, I understand you want to be called Evan Evans. But that is not a valid reason to interrupt my wedding!!!

Evan : BUT THINK ABOUT IT.

Lily: James, I have a great idea. 

James: Let’s hear it. 

Lily: We trick Remus and Sirius to go out on a date together. 

James: YES! 

James: And hey, if that doesn’t work out, maybe you and me could go out, get some drinks— 

Lily, hitting him with a book: THIS IS NOT ABOUT YOU.

Evan: How would you hide a body-

Dorcas: Hypothetically-

Pandora: You aren’t fooling anyone-

Barty: ANYways, how would you do it?

James: 

James: You see, in quidditch, the snitch-

Barty: Nope. 

Dorcas: MarLENE!

CHARLI LIKES BOYS BUT SHE KNOWS I'D HIT IHT