Ds29gurl2 - Hyper Fixation? What Hyper Fixation?

The woman you are becoming will cost you people, relationships, spaces, and material things. Choose her over everything.

The House on Mango Street was the first book that put what I wanted when I grew up into words. I hyperfixated on the shoes especially. They symbolize Esperanza's sexuality, and then her inner conflict between that sexuality and her desire for independence. I had similar struggles, particularly when I was 15. Quinces are a huge event in a Cuban girls life. Everyone in the extended family comes to ogle at the garish decorations while talking smack about the girl's dress and body in between bites of ropa vieja and croquetas. At the end, they exchange the little girl shoes she has for a high heel. Symbolizing her "ascension" into womanhood. This terrified me. I was still growing into my body. My feet still clumsy and my hands too small to hold onto to the ridiculous bouffant skirt of the dress which would inevitably lead me to trip even more in front of judging relatives. More than anything, I wasn't ready to be a woman, even symbolically. The questions of when I would get married, have children, would increase in their seriousness as they did for my first cousin. Under this pressure, she then had her baby at 17 with a man who constantly cheats on her to this day. They will tell me to go to university so I can find an educated man. Not to worry about about an education from myself. That I already study/read too much and men don't want overly smart women. This was the picture I had of "becoming a woman" since I transitioned from baby to child shoes. I told everyone the Christmas before my Quince in September that I would not be having one. The adults laughed and my cousins jeered at me at the kids table thinking I was loca and "antisocial". My mother, told me it would be my choice, but that the family would like to join me in this joyous occasion. I was shaking beneath their eyes, but again I said I did not want one. As September drew closer, the questions for when the invites were going out started to grow numerous. I again told them I would not be doing a quince. My aunt cried and called me selfish. That she never had a daughter, only sons, and she wanted to help me plan it. For the first time in my 15 years, I refused to give in. No amount of crocodile tears would get me to budge. I'm glad I did. It was the first step in MY path to becoming a woman. No high heels needed. Now, I keep my heelless "child shoes" near my bed in my own apartment where I live alone with my dog. Comfortable and free.

YOU decide what it means to be woman. Do not let anyone and their outdated traditions tell you what to do.

When the existential crisis hits you hard for the 4th time this week✌️

Postcards I accumulated traveling and studying in Europe, attached to a cork board

source @kmriscos

Where's Una!?!? Wait? Scotty!? :D SPOOOCCKKK no no no no no, please no

My literal first thought when Spock said he was Number One. I don't like this already. Jim Kirk is here, don't care though. Hopefully he doesn't become a central character next season. I still want this to be a Pike show. Onto what is really important, I can't believe Una was convicted :( That's some bigoted bullshit, I wonder who ratted her out (Side note, I know it's your job but Batel you bitch) That one Romulan captain is the GOAT. Goes to show there is always one good one in any species. We hope to see more of you in the future. Scotty!! I heard a Scottish accent. Wait... SPOOOOCCK no, please no I am literally having a panic attack. Ok he's better. That father and son ending between Spock and Pike is adorable. Glad to see Chris come to terms with his future, hopefully. aaaandd of course they fuck it up right at the end. Una baby we got your back. This Pike WILL NOT leave you on that penal colony, or I will have a conniption fit. This episode jerked my emotions all over the place, I cried, screamed, laughed for like half a second and then back to tears. This is Star Trek ladies and gentlemen. Hats off to a perfect first season. Until season 2, LLAP Enterprise crew🖖

Drinking wine, listening to Fall Out Boy at 2am, remembering simpler time before bills, work, feelings and shit

Ostara Altar ‘23

This year’s Ostara altar

“The best you’ll ever do is to understand yourself, know what it is that you want, and not let the cattle stand in your way.” – Janet Fitch