I Don't Think I Will Ever Recover

What does it means to be loved by Death?

No pain

(Anne Rice)

Sorry, this quote just lives rent free in my mind since I first read it and it's just perfect for Agatha, Nicky and Rio😢

Death's beloveds

Go tell them how this woman (and her husband) shaped this man's whole world.

insp.

Absolutely true. Because Flint and Madi were just two birds of a feather. They learned it slowly, through hard experiences I'd say, but they definitely understood it (and each other) by the end of it. How great the two of them would have been in leading that war together! And what greater evidence of this is the knowing look they share after Madi's rescue in ep.XXXVIII?

And the sadness Madi shows at the end, learning of Flint's departure, how true that was! Either she thought he was dead or not, the point is that she felt on her own skin the same desperation and defiance he must have felt seeing their war and all their effort going to waste, because she felt the same -if not worst. She felt that losing that, for him, would have been just like dying, as it was for her.

So yeah, that's why I'll never forget Silver for what he did. He loved her by cutting away her wings, he locked her in a cage just to protect her, and how can you do that to someone whose life is lived in the name of freedom? I can't accept that.

For how I see it, he never deserved her nor her trust.

Y'know, something that's very elucidative to me regarding John Silver's character, and in a way Flint's character, is that despite him not being the one in a romantic relationship with Madi (in fact I believe his dynamic with her is more of a brothers-in-arms, united for the same cause, that later transforms into something bordering on a mentor/pupil dynamic or even almost a father/daughter dynamic but not quite), Flint ended up understanding Madi as person FAR better than Silver ever did, or could.

So much so that Flint knows Madi would never allow anything to jeopardize the start of the war or its success: not her own life, not Silver's life, nor any promises of safety for her people and her people alone in her maroon encampment - nothing. And he's right! Madi herself confirms it to Woodes Rogers toward the end of S04. Silver might have fallen in love with Madi, but he never actually saw her. And if there ever was an instance when he did, I don't think it was voluntary and it only fed into his own selfish desire to protect her at all costs, not just to himself but to her, too.

Silver also knew she would stop at nothing for the revolution, he knew that even if she were to die, they would make a martyr of her and she would have been fine with that because even dead, she would have accomplished what was necessary, which was to make the war explode and the revolution set in motion. Where Silver failed but Flint did not, was that he was more scared of losing her than he was of losing the war. Which is very human for someone who is definitely not as idealistic as either Flint or Madi, but still selfish and in a way, cruel.

Flint and Madi understood each other completely and made this silent pact to do anything to make their plans go forward, always with the intent to keep each other safe whenever possible, but willing to let the other die if all other options had run out, and they would hold no grudges toward each other should it come to that and they happened to survive. And Silver... Silver didn't. He loved Madi with all his heart, but he never understood her. Not enough to respect her wishes, anyway.

Wangxian + pretty scenery

"From the moment he started speaking I couldn't stop thinking about her. She died for this. She believed in this, and if it all goes away then it was all for nothing. I can't let this be for nothing. I just can't.”

I just listened to Silver's words in ep.XXXV and they reminded me at once of Flint's final ones: “All this will be for nothing. We will have been for nothing.”

Sorry to all Silver's supporters, but I couldn't help thinking…how selfish is that?

I mean, the war had a meaning as long as it was the only thing left and the cause Madi had died for, but it suddenly doesn't anymore as soon as she “comes back to life”? When even her own mother understood the meaning of her sacrifice. Of course I was glad she was alive, and I'm not saying Silver should have believed in a war which didn't belong to him (‘cause it never belonged to him, he just joined) but EXACTLY for this, who gave him the right to decide when to put an end to it?

He should have remembered how it felt like to have that war as the only thing left, to know that who you love has died, even if not for it specifically, at least for the same principles, trying to gain the same results, and what did he do? He deprived Flint of that only thing left. He deprived Madi of something she had been ready to DIE for, even without having ever suffered directly what she tried to save all her people from. Who was him to take that decision? How much arrogance does it need to do that?

And ok, he told Flint about Thomas (but ONLY when it came useful to himself to do so) and probably granted him the only thing he still really desired (admitted this is really how things went), but I’m not considering this because this is not the point. The point, just for me of course, is that that scene when Flint says that phrase is probably the most haunting of the last episode, because the treason and the injustice there cut so deep that it really hurts.

Despite everything, he should have left Madi her war and -if he really was a friend to Flint- should have told him about Thomas, regardless if it was useful or not.

Guess it's the main reason why the final is so conflictingly sad and beautiful.

It isn't even about whether the revolution could work or not, it's really only about selfishness.

Swan Queen and the Parent Meeting at School 

REGINA:  You’re late, dear.

EMMA:  Yea, sorry about that.  My WIFE decided to pack my lunch today and all I found was a plastic container of blended apple, kale, carrot juice and a bran muffin.

REGINA:  It’s wholesome and nutritious.

EMMA:  It looked like sea monster vomit in a cup.

SNOW:  Guys, please. We’re in a meeting.

EMMA:  What.  You’re my mother.

SNOW:  Right now I’m your daughters’ principal!

EMMA:  You mean your GRANDDAUGHTERS?

REGINA:  (ignores current conversation, turns to Emma)  Lunch was delicious.

EMMA:  I wouldn’t know.  I didn’t eat it.

SNOW:  Maybe we should proceed…

REGINA:  What do you mean you didn’t eat it?

EMMA:  I didn’t eat it!

SNOW:  (waves to get their attention)  Hello?

REGINA:  (crosses arms)  Well, what DID you eat then?

SNOW:  Principal trying to talk here.

EMMA:  (defiantly pins Regina with a stare)  I went to Granny’s and had a DOUBLE bacon, grilled onion cheeseburger and French fries with a chocolate milkshake chaser.

SNOW:  (shakes head in hands)  Oh geez.

REGINA:  You did WHAT?

EMMA:  You heard me.

REGINA: EMMA!

EMMA: (imitates)  REGINA!

SNOW:  (points to self)  Principal!

EMMA:  (to her mom)  SHHH!

REGINA:  (to Snow at the same time) Oh shut up!

They both stare at each other hard again while Snow tilts her eyes heavenward and closes them while shaking her head.

REGINA:  Do you know what those things are doing to your body as we speak?

EMMA:  I don’t know about you but my body’s feeling pretty thankful.

REGINA:  You think so?  Let’s see how it feels when your ASS is sleeping on the couch tonight.

EMMA:  (scoffs)  Are you serious?  For eating a cheeseburger.  Who are you? My mother?

SNOW:  No… that would be me.

EMMA:  (jokingly)  You just said you were the principal.

There’s a knock at the door. The school janitor, Leroy, pokes his head in.

LEROY:  Snow, you called to have some extra stuff thrown out?

SNOW:  Yes, Leroy.  Those bags by the wall.

Leroy nods to Regina and Emma but they only crack a small smile alerting him to the tension in the room.  He awkwardly shuffles towards the trash knowing well what could happen between the Sheriff and the Mayor, even though they’ve been married for years and were perfect for one another.

REGINA:  (to Emma)  Do you even care about your heart and arteries?  Because I do.

EMMA:  Oh my God, Babe!  Look at this body.  I am in prime condition.  (flexes arms) I don’t mean to BRAG but look at these! (holds her arm up to a passing Leroy)

LEROY:  (puts garbage bag down and feels Emma’s arm)  Wow, those are some serious guns you got there, sister! (Looks up to find Regina glaring at him and Snow subtly waving for him to leave while he can)  Um…

SNOW:  Thanks, Leroy.  That’s it. (waits a beat, looks at two cross-armed irritated women)  Okay… Why don’t we just forget about this whole thing and move on. What’s done is…

REGINA:  (scowls at Snow)  Don’t you have chalkboard erasers to BANG somewhere?

SNOW:  (tilts head back and sighs at the ceiling)  

EMMA:  Babe, it’s not like I eat like this all the time. And I think I’ve done pretty good with all the other stuff you give me. I actually like flaxseed and goji berries now. (sees Regina soften and puts a hand on her forearm)  Heck!  I’ve even gotten used to grilled cheese on WHEAT bread!  (looks into Regina’s eyes meaningfully, smiles)  But I draw the line at “cat puke in a can”.

SNOW:  (mumbles unheard)  I don’t even think a cat would eat the stuff Regina gives you.

REGINA:  (pause, raises eye brow, smirks)  There was no “milkshake chaser” was there.

EMMA:  (smiles wider and nods yes)  No.

REGINA:  (strokes Emma’s hand)  And the grilled onions?

EMMA:  It was a plain hamburger, no cheese and with a side salad instead of fries. (happy with Regina’s megawatt smile) And NO onions.  I WAS planning on kissing you later.  (wiggles eyebrows)

Both women have eyes only for each other and ignore Snow’s twisted mouth as the moment seems inappropriately intimate all of a sudden.

REGINA:  Only later?

EMMA:  Well… Maybe a lot sooner than then.  

REGINA:  How about right now?

EMMA:  How about we take this someplace more private?

REGINA:  Follow me then, Sheriff Swan.

EMMA:  To the ends of the Earth, babe.  (opens door for Regina)  So am I still sleeping on the couch?

REGINA:  (as door closes behind them)  Lucky for you I happen to like “your guns” wrapped around me in bed where they belong.

Snow is left with an empty blinking expression at their vacated chairs.

SNOW:  Well, Audrey and Sophie are adjusting really well to school life. They love kindergarten and play well with others. (pause, dismissive wave at the chairs)  I’ll just tell them everything at Sunday dinner.

———-

Credit for the gif goes to @lana-lana-b0-bana.  (Thank you for letting me use it!  I love it!)

When I saw this lovely gif, I immediately thought it looked like a parent/teacher conference type thing and this scene took place in my head.  This is set in The Twins of Storybrooke universe and I made Snow the principal.  Who knows, by then she might be!

I'm reading this just now. I can't come back to that place. I'm over it. I was over it. Like...I'll never stop being a Swen, but I was resigned, somehow. Guess I'm digging up too many memories lately, which is not good for my sanity. But then I read analysis like this one, very beautiful and complete and explicative, and I just remember why I'll never really be over them or out of that place.

To tell it in modern terms: SwanQueen is my scar 😢

THE SWANQUEEN HUG

I completely understand why your upset Swen about this hug. Sur it was about the engagement, but it actually show us the dynamic between Emma and Regina. We know they are friends now…friends do hug.

Nevertheless, I agree that the scene was off. Entirely. First of all, Emma seems more embarrass than anything when her mother looks at her ring, and even more when Henry asks her how Hook proposed. We all know he didn’t really do it, Emma pushed him to. She could have said she found the ring and then explain how it turn out, but she chooses to tell:

“I kind of say yes before he had a chance to.”

While saying it, she forced a smile. Note that this conversation happen with Henry and more importantly Snow, the woman who represents the fairytale world and so the Savior’s title given to the blonde. The conversation feels rush, tense, like Emma doesn’t want to talk about it. Bravo for Henry ironic tone, by the way! Snow doesn’t even notice her daughter’s behavior, and the first thing she wants to do is planning the wedding. My bet, she would want for Emma to have the same kind of wedding they done in the Enchanted Forest. A fairy tale wedding. Instead of being happy, the blonde cuts her and tell her mother, the wedding had to wait.

“We’re going to wait a little while before we start planning…”

Did you notice the chill in Emma’s voice… She doesn’t want her mother to freak out at this news, but she seems more in touch with herself than before while saying they want to wait to get married. Saying yes is one thing. Marrying the man is another.

“OH why?”

Ok it’s because of the Gideon thing, but did you see Emma deflecting eyes? BOUM, downcast, like she was sad to disappoint her mother and then she brings Gideon justifying the delay.

After, we have Zelena and Regina entering the loft. Zelena is the one noticing the ring. Why that? When they enter the loft, we can see Emma going to place her hand in her jean’s pocket, as she doesn’t want other to know. Except that when you’re engaged to the person you love, you want the world to know. Emma’s hiding it to Regina. Zelena sees the ring and in a wicket smile exposes Emma to Regina.

“Is that an engagement ring?!”

Stop the video when Zelena pulls Emma’s ring to her eyes. Focus on Regina who is literally shocked to hear and see the news. The blonde is awkward in this moment and sad. She doesn’t even know how to respond. Emma’s attitude is worst than with Snow.  Zelena doesn’t say anything, not even congratulation. Nothing. Then we have this shot of Regina; open mouth, eyes cloud with tears. That’s not joy, that’s saddest.

“Hook proposed.”

Why saying this now instead of the conversation whit her mother?! The smile she gives is hypocrite, forced and a façade. So now Hook proposed. I thought she kind of say yes before he had a chance to… Way to go Emma. She chooses to say Hook proposed when Regina learns of the engagement. Really?!

“Oh… Emma…”

It sounds reprimanded no? Like she was going to add to this: “I thought I told you you’re too good for him…” Emma’s face after…Is she daring Regina to say something?! Chin held high, smugness. She is clearly daring her to say Something… and when the brunette says:

“I’m happy for you. I really am.”

It sounds like a goodbye. Regina is letting go. “Really” shows us Regina tries to convince herself. The hug was a way to feel each other close, one last time before letting go. Exactly as the conversation topic changes just after that. Remark Emma’s face in the hug. She is disappointed in the brunette, and sad that Regina didn’t say a word.

“That’s means a lot.”

Of course it does. For Emma, it means, Regina would not fight. But in reality, it means, the brunette cares so much about her that she rather watching the blonde marries a pirate than letting her know she has feeling for her. It means actions speaks louder than words. It means Regina is in love with Emma and chooses to sacrifice her happy ending in order for the blonde to have one. It means. Regina is Emma’s True Love.

How true their relationship was. An honest alliance and, as strange as it may feel to define it like this, a disinterested one.

Jack struggle to avenge Charles is really touching to me. Like...for people living like they lived, a loyalty (and a friendship) such as that really is the most precious treasure.

VIII | XIX | XXI | XXII | XXVI | XXVII | XXIX | XXXV

They were so beautiful together. Such a true connection there was between them💔

Tell me we’re not crazy, you and I. Crazy? To put ourselves through all this when the outcome’s so uncertain. The outcome is only uncertain for those who disbelieve. I believe in this place, and I believe if there’s anyone who can do what’s necessary to make it something better, it’s you.