It Doesn’t Feel Like Living Anymore.

A cross hatching portrait of Miranda from Black Sails. She is in her Night Shift, with her hair falling loose and somewhat tangled down her back. She’s seen in half profile, facing the viewer with a bitter look.

It doesn’t feel like living anymore.

I love Miranda. And this is maybe the moment I find her the most arresting and beautiful. It’s such a raw, desperate moment. Asking to be seen. I love her contradictions. How she is both selfish and self-sacrificing. She is incredibly strong in so many regards, and yet struggling to find her own agency. She is honest and yet underhanded. She is kind and petty, smug and patient. As an avowed hedonist, she comes to endure even when she’s past her endurance. An in the end she becomes a martyr, when I think all she ever wanted was to be her own person.

That complexity is reflected in her relationship with James I think. There are many different takes on it, all of them valid, obviously, so this is just my own…

I find their relationship fascinating. It’s obvious that they love each other. It’s also obvious that this love is different than the one they had for Thomas, although that shared love for him certainly plays an important role in their relationship. But I think that Miranda maybe doesn’t love like James and Thomas at all, not in this all consuming way. The way I see her, she’s also completely aromantic, but that doesn’t make her love something lesser.

Miranda loves Thomas as someone who shares her interests and temperament, an intellectually stimulating partner, a great man. They were a harmonious couple, their relationship seemingly effortless. Her relationship with James on the other hand is a constant struggle, and not just because of the circumstances they find themselves in, I think. They are both too alike and too different. The one that fit with them was always Thomas.

Miranda and James’ love for each other is mostly built on loyalty. On knowing that whatever may come, the other will stand with them to the bitter end. And because of that loyalty they both try to be more for the other, to fill the void Thomas left, and failing miserably at it.

James tries to give Miranda things that connect her with her old life: books, a spinet, delicate tea cups. Even sex. But it’s a poor substitute, and the thing she most longs for —companionship— is unbearable for him to provide, because being with her reminds him of what he lost. Miranda wants to remember Thomas and talk about him, but James can’t.

James tries to keep Thomas close by striving to bring his vision to life, finish what they started, and prove England wrong in the process. And Miranda tries to be a partner in this. She helps him plot and patches him up and harbours prisoners, but she hates it just as much. They both hate the things the other needs from them. And yet they stubbornly hold on to each other, and try to keep each other safe. It’s not a passionate love. At times it’s almost resentful. But it’s deep and true.

How hard it must be for Miranda to love James. Love him in Thomas stead, knowing that she falls short by miles. How hard it must be to see him try to love her better, and failing because he, too, isn’t Thomas. Loving each other with such loyal devotion across the divide, the hole that Thomas left. Loving each other even though it is hard, and it hurts, that’s what makes it beautiful to me. 

More Posts from Dragonsinthedarkness and Others

9 months ago

They were so beautiful together. Such a true connection there was between them💔

Tell Me We’re Not Crazy, You And I. Crazy? To Put Ourselves Through All This When The Outcome’s So
Tell Me We’re Not Crazy, You And I. Crazy? To Put Ourselves Through All This When The Outcome’s So

Tell me we’re not crazy, you and I. Crazy? To put ourselves through all this when the outcome’s so uncertain. The outcome is only uncertain for those who disbelieve. I believe in this place, and I believe if there’s anyone who can do what’s necessary to make it something better, it’s you.


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9 months ago
Anne Bonny Scene Of All Time. Woman Of All Time
Anne Bonny Scene Of All Time. Woman Of All Time
Anne Bonny Scene Of All Time. Woman Of All Time
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anne bonny scene of all time. woman of all time

9 months ago
There’s Nothing In Nassau But Horror. You Said It Was Just A Transition. That Something Better Lay
There’s Nothing In Nassau But Horror. You Said It Was Just A Transition. That Something Better Lay
There’s Nothing In Nassau But Horror. You Said It Was Just A Transition. That Something Better Lay
There’s Nothing In Nassau But Horror. You Said It Was Just A Transition. That Something Better Lay

There’s nothing in Nassau but horror. You said it was just a transition. That something better lay beyond it, something meaningful. But what if that isn’t so? What if the result of this war isn’t beyond the horror? What if it is the horror itself? Have you given this any thought at all? If we are to truly reach a moment where we might be finished with England… cleared away to make room for something else… there most certainly lies a dark moment between here and there. A moment of terror where everything appears to be without hope.

BLACK SAILS 4.08 “XXXVI.”

8 months ago

Black Sails x Oceans Brawl by Cœur de Pirate

Part 2/3 (follows part 3)

Black Sails X Oceans Brawl By Cœur De Pirate
Black Sails X Oceans Brawl By Cœur De Pirate
Black Sails X Oceans Brawl By Cœur De Pirate
Black Sails X Oceans Brawl By Cœur De Pirate
Black Sails X Oceans Brawl By Cœur De Pirate
Black Sails X Oceans Brawl By Cœur De Pirate
Black Sails X Oceans Brawl By Cœur De Pirate
Black Sails X Oceans Brawl By Cœur De Pirate

Black Sails x Oceans Brawl by Cœur de Pirate

Part 1 (follows part 2)

Black Sails X Oceans Brawl By Cœur De Pirate
Black Sails X Oceans Brawl By Cœur De Pirate
Black Sails X Oceans Brawl By Cœur De Pirate
Black Sails X Oceans Brawl By Cœur De Pirate
Black Sails X Oceans Brawl By Cœur De Pirate
Black Sails X Oceans Brawl By Cœur De Pirate
Black Sails X Oceans Brawl By Cœur De Pirate
Black Sails X Oceans Brawl By Cœur De Pirate
8 months ago
“I Miss Him Too.“

“I miss him too.“

10 months ago
dragonsinthedarkness - Eleonora🏴‍☠️

"She loved the sea for its storms alone, and the green only when it grew scattered among ruins."

G. Flaubert

Miranda Barlow's aesthetic.

I love so much this character and her story and I think she would have liked very much Madame Bovary if she had the chance to read it.

(We all know what was written in that burning letter, don't we? I think it was important to include that too about her)


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8 months ago

Miranda was always what Flint needed, and to her last moments, she remained exactly that. Flint needed a sacrifice to his cause, a martyr to fight in the name of, and that’s what Miranda became.  Because ten years and Flint was still fighting the trappings of civilization for all Miranda said that he had abandoned it. Because Miranda was civilization. She and Flint and Thomas were all parts of some unique machine, and Thomas might have have been been the engine in the machine, and Flint the weapon, but Miranda was the outer shell, the body, the thing that upheld both those things. She was music and bitter hope and china cups and antiseptic on Flint’s wounds. She was someone to bring home books to and someone to write I’m sorry to and someone to say, “you’re getting blood on my floor.” She was the last person who had any idea whatsoever of James McGraw, the only person who knew him as James McGraw, who once called him lieutenant, who once knew what he looked like in a navy uniform, who once knew what he looked in like in the candlelight of a London drawing room. And in turn, he knew her. Knew her as the woman she once was, knew how she looked in fine silks and jewels and pearls in her hair, knew what she looked like with Thomas on her arm, who knew her as a wife and socialite and lady and a scandal, as all the things she never was on Nassau.    And if Flint was ever to try to take true and exiting revenge, she needed to die. Because as long as she was alive, she was the promise of civilization, of peace, of memory, for Flint to return to. And that’s what she realizes when she puts her head down in Peter Ashe’s drawing room and asks him about the clock. The façade of civilization, the dinner, the pleasantries, Flint and Ashe shaking hands, the talk of a trial, a pardon, it needed to be broken, because in that moment to allow it to exist was intolerable. And she broke it, destroyed it with six words. But she was civilization, and she destroyed herself. 

9 months ago

I loved all the hints to Eleonor's true nature that are given in ep.4x6 (the one of her death), at least the one that I think it to be. I felt like in the end she came back to what she used to be, somehow (even if she never really changed, she was just pretending), and as always, everything ends just like it started (even if not exactly).

First Flint asked her if it would be impossible for her to join them once again and yes, I think that would be impossible because she had lost and given away way too much as a price to her previous life as a “pirate”, but the thing is that the independence of the pirates is in her true nature. And she claims it back each time she is left by her own or just each time she has the chance to. It happens for different reasons and under different motivations, but basically it's just breaking free from any kind of power which may try to control her.

In fact, she regained control on the situation as soon as Rogers went away, even if she did it for him too.

I think she was just searching for a wayout after all, because all her life she had had to be with the pirates’ side or with the “civilized” side but neither of them could offer her the freedom she really needed.

And I believe that with Madi she found a third way. It's very endearing to me how soon and naturally they get close to each other once again after so many years.

When she talks to her she says:

“I've found myself thinking about it. Of walking away from Nassau, from England, from civilization. One can be happy that way, can't they? A life of isolation and uncertainty as long as it is lived with someone you love and who loves you back. It is possible, isn't it?”

This is her third way. And I think that by this point (having almost nothing to lose anymore and feeling deep inside of her the real possibility of WR's betrayal) she was seriously contemplating the possibility of just leaving it all behind and going away with Madi, back with the only family she had ever known.

And it's so sad because she tried as a ruler, tired as a daughter, tried as a friend and tried as a lover, tried as a wife and tried as a sister and in the end it was never enough and way too much at the same time.

…yeah, they have been too mean to her. She deserved at least the chance to try as a mother.

I Loved All The Hints To Eleonor's True Nature That Are Given In Ep.4x6 (the One Of Her Death), At Least

Tags
6 months ago
Rio And Agatha - Star Crossed Lovers
Rio And Agatha - Star Crossed Lovers
Rio And Agatha - Star Crossed Lovers
Rio And Agatha - Star Crossed Lovers
Rio And Agatha - Star Crossed Lovers
Rio And Agatha - Star Crossed Lovers
Rio And Agatha - Star Crossed Lovers
Rio And Agatha - Star Crossed Lovers
Rio And Agatha - Star Crossed Lovers

Rio and Agatha - Star Crossed Lovers

9 months ago

I heard we're doing fancasting, yes? So. I've been waiting for this chance for months. I know the actresses probably won't be them but damn, I'd pay to make it so.

AKASHA : ANOK YAI give her a chance.

I know she is a model, ok? But just watch the Alien spot and then tell me if you wouldn't kneel and give her your life give her a chance.

Moreover, she already dressed as Akasha! I screamed when I found the pics. She was absolutely perfect, even if I hope the show will give her a different look than the movie one. I don't really like that dress, something closer to the book's description would be better.

But pics talk better than me, let me show you.

I Heard We're Doing Fancasting, Yes? So. I've Been Waiting For This Chance For Months. I Know The Actresses
I Heard We're Doing Fancasting, Yes? So. I've Been Waiting For This Chance For Months. I Know The Actresses
I Heard We're Doing Fancasting, Yes? So. I've Been Waiting For This Chance For Months. I Know The Actresses
I Heard We're Doing Fancasting, Yes? So. I've Been Waiting For This Chance For Months. I Know The Actresses

Last one is more how I'd like to see her. ANYWAY, I believe I have a point. She's so stunning.

GABRIELLE : TRICIA HELFER

I loved her Charlotte in Lucifer, and I admit that that role as Lucifer's mother probably influenced my choice a bit, but still...I think she would be great for the role also aesthetically speaking.

I Heard We're Doing Fancasting, Yes? So. I've Been Waiting For This Chance For Months. I Know The Actresses
I Heard We're Doing Fancasting, Yes? So. I've Been Waiting For This Chance For Months. I Know The Actresses

MAEL : JAMIE CAMPBELL BOWER

Ok I'm already thinking to Queen of the Damned adaptation, honestly the thing is that I like him and I just wanted to find a role suitable for him and this came to my mind. However, I'd just like him to be a vampire.

I Heard We're Doing Fancasting, Yes? So. I've Been Waiting For This Chance For Months. I Know The Actresses
I Heard We're Doing Fancasting, Yes? So. I've Been Waiting For This Chance For Months. I Know The Actresses

And then we have CODY FERN and my previous words about Bower apply for him too. I just want a part for him. I think I'd have liked him as Nicholas, like this

I Heard We're Doing Fancasting, Yes? So. I've Been Waiting For This Chance For Months. I Know The Actresses

but we already have an actor for that role and I think they won't change it.

Anyway, c'mon, this guy is too cool to not make him play a vampire role.

I Heard We're Doing Fancasting, Yes? So. I've Been Waiting For This Chance For Months. I Know The Actresses

He would probably be great to play Astarion if there was a movie adaptation of that too.

What do you think about these actors/actresses? Who else would you suggest? I'm still seriously pondering the Mekare/Maharet question...


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dragonsinthedarkness - Eleonora🏴‍☠️
Eleonora🏴‍☠️

She/her, writer, books lover (whichever, from every age and every nation) tv shows lovers (ouat, iwtv, black sails, hannibal, good omens...), anime, manga and danmei lover (mxtx especially), rock lover. Women lover. Earth lover. Ao3: https://archiveofourown.org/users/EleonoraParker/works

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