I’m Not A Violent Dog… I Don’t Know Why I Bite

btw in regards to my “Leon was just a boy” post I do NOT enjoy character infantilization!!! He is a grown ass man!! Not a little baby boy!! I will call him my baby boy as a JOKE!!!! As a HUMOR!!!!!!!!! my meow meow is a grown ass man and I accept this as part of him because it’s COOL AND AWESOME and please capcom let me write his character I can do it I’ll give him a real arc instead of whatever you’ve been doing for 20 years please

Things I will yap abt if you ask:

- Resident Evil

- My Little Pony: FiM

- Outlast

- my ocs

- creepypasta/internet horror

stemmed from a thing I saw on tiktok

An AU I’ve been forming in my head for a bit- the forest AU!! Full of whimsy!! Idk what it would be shortened …

What habits could Albert and Leon adopt from each other?

These are just some of the small habits and behaviors that came to mind, mostly with rookie Leon and S.T.A.R.S. Wesker in mind.

Habits that Leon and Wesker adopt from each other

• Leon's terrible jokes

Every time Leon makes a pun or some ridiculous quip, Wesker gives him The Look. Arms crossed, brow arched, silence that screams, why am I in love with this idiot? Then the corners of Wesker’s mouth twitch. He turns away too quickly. Leon notices, every single time. Eventually, Wesker lets a laugh slip and then one day, even worse, Wesker joins in. Leon is so proud.

• Carrying an extra pen for Wesker

Leon notices Wesker always checks for his favorite pen before meetings. So Leon starts bringing a spare, acting like it’s no big deal, but Wesker always uses it.

• Softly mimicking Wesker’s phrases

Wesker has precise, formal wording. Leon starts slipping into it occasionally “That would be ideal,” or “understood” and it makes Wesker’s mouth twitch in amusement every time. (And Jill teases the shit out of Leon, when it slips out infront of her)

• Privat space

Wesker learns to relax. The first time Leon kicks off his shoes in the hallway or leaves a coffee mug on the nightstand, Wesker’s eye twitches. But he breathes through it. Slowly, he learns that not everything has to be perfect. If Leon’s coat ends up slung over the couch, Wesker folds it instead of snapping. Leon, in return, starts putting things away. He begins organizing his keys, folding laundry properly, even wiping down counters without being asked, because he knows Wesker prefers it that way. Together, they find a happy medium: the apartment is clean, cozy, full of personality (except Wesker’s alphabetically organized bookshelf that Leon has learned not to mess with the hard way)

• Tidying up when Wesker is stressed

Leon doesn’t say anything, just starts organizing papers, wiping down the surface. It’s his silent way of showing support.

• Carrying snacks Leon likes

Wesker starts keeping Leon’s favorite granola bars in his desk drawer, because he knows Leon tends to forget to eat. He also stocks up on candy at home because Leon often demands a 'sweet treat'

• Waiting for Leon before starting his coffee

Wesker used to drink alone. Now, he waits for Leon’s break so they can sit together, even if it’s only five minutes. It’s their quiet ritual.

• Genuine emotional expression

Wesker is controlled to a fault, but Leon's presence, his honesty, and how deeply he feels could teach Wesker the value of vulnerability in small, private moments. Maybe he starts letting his guard down, even just in quiet ways like saying "I missed you" or initiating physical affection without needing an excuse.

• Letting Leon pick the music in the car

Wesker usually drives in silence or with classical music, but he lets Leon queue up whatever he wants

• Work-life-balance

Both of them are chronic over-workers, but they absolutely refuse to let the other burn out. Wesker will snatch Leon’s reports right out of his hands at 2 a.m. like, “You’re done for tonight. Sleep, now.” Leon does the same when Wesker’s been glaring at data for six hours straight, dragging him to the couch and putting coffee out of reach. Over time, their routines shift and they start taking real evenings off.

• Smiling more

No one else sees it, but around Leon, Wesker's smiles are softer, a little crooked, completely real. Leon brings it out of him without even trying.

• Wesker making space for Leon

He lifts his arm when Leon walks into the room with zero hesitation, already expecting him to collapse into his side on the couch. It’s not even conscious, it’s just muscle memory now. Leon slides in, tucks under his arm, and neither of them says a word about it.

• Sleep positions

Wesker sleeps on his side just to hold Leon, even though it messes with his neck and he’s used to laying on his back like a statue. But Leon always sleeps better curled into his chest, so now it’s just what he does.

• Reading

Leon, who used to hate sitting still long enough to read, now keeps a book tucked under the couch or next to the bed, because Wesker reads, and he wanted something to do during those quiet evenings. Now he finds he actually likes it, especially when Wesker’s arm is draped across his legs and the room is silent except for pages turning.

• Leons terrible tast in movies

Wesker tolerates Leon’s objectively horrible taste in movies. He will sit through the cheesiest 90s action flick or the dumbest romcom without complaint, stoic and still, while Leon is laughing and quoting every line. He only ever smiles when Leon isn’t looking.

• Wesker’s Food Discipline

At first, Leon rebels. He complains every time Wesker sets a plate in front of him with greens on it. Wesker doesn’t respond, just raises a brow and watches until Leon eats it all anyway. Wesker’s mealtimes are sacred. Breakfast at 7. Lunch at 12:30. Dinner at 7. No negotiations. Leon starts to joke about it, calling him a walking calendar, but he also starts showing up right on time, every time. It sneaks up on Leon. One day at work, someone’s like “Let’s grab lunch later, maybe after one,” and Leon genuinely pauses, confused. “But... it’s 12:30? That’s lunch time.” His team just blinks at him while he realizes, he’s become Wesker.

• Wesker quietly plugs in Leon’s phone at night

Because Leon forgets it, all the time. There’s no comment. Just a charged phone on the nightstand in the morning.

spoiler

I’m like the toxic yaoi ceo when it comes to frenrey dawg

HLVRAI + DBH

hear me out- two different ways this can go

Gordon is a down on his luck detective who’s not entirely fond of androids, and gets assigned the new model BK800

OR

Benrey is a horrible Lieutenant and gets assigned a GF800 in order to whip them into shape.

Coomer and Bubby could be Markus and north depending on how u wanna see it

Tommy is Kara and Sunkist is Kara

Forzen is probably gonna be RK900 (aka FK900)

INTRO POST

This is an ask blog for an indulgent AU called the Nth Dimensional Interdimensional Starbucks au. Also just called the Interdimensional Starbucks au. The Interdimensional Starbucks is a sub-space created within the monolith that orbited the planets. It features David Bowman as a 24/7 Starbucks barista who doesn't get paid, and HAL 9000, the sentient coffee machine and David's companion (lover??). Everything went smoothly at first, until Frank Poole showed up. All hell broke loose as more and more AIs from different realities showed up to take a spot in the singular Starbucks. David Bowman copes (see: tries to) with the influx of ridiculous orders from ridiculous characters. Hal provides commentary of varying degrees of helpfulness. Frank's here too. Hijinks ensue. Literally every AI you can think of, and some extra people to boot. MOD INFO BELOW (pictures)

[Image ID: Monolith (TMA-1) | they/them | Most least sane mod]

[Image ID: Mod David | he/they | The only mod that can program]

[Image ID: Mod Hal | she/he | The only mod that gets shit for colonialism even though the others did it too]