Trapped In This Body

Inspired by a post by @/wilczak I’ve been thinking a lot about my own desire to have a pet snake.

For nearly all my life I’ve wanted to keep snakes. I had garter snakes for several years before rehoming them when I went to high school and became busier. I’ve always felt a kinship with them. Even before I knew what I was, I knew snakes were my kind.

It took me a long time to realize I was a snake. I knew I was a changeling since I was very young, however the realization that I was a snake took longer to come. I couldn’t see beyond the veil for a long time and only sensed fragments of my true form. Once I realized I was a snake, my attachment to them made so much more sense.

We’re not a social species by any means, however I’ve always wanted to keep snakes because we’re the same. We understand each other in a fundamental way. Largely we’re uninterested in each other, but there’s a sense of camaraderie in shared species-ship.

I love learning about my kind, and the idea of taking care of another sounds very rewarding to me. We are brethren.

i love distancing myself from humans more and more. it feels empowering instead of alienating, like i'm flipping all those negative feelings on their head. comparing myself to humans is like comparing apples and oranges.

me when the species dysphoria starts species dysphoria-ing

(WHERE ARE MY WINGS. WHERE ARE MY CLAWS.)

While I don’t often get the phantom sensation that you describe, I do sometimes feel this little twinge of energy inside me around large hawks or mustelids. It’s a bit of instinctual panic. I too have a worry that predators will see through my disguise.

For the most part I don’t feel like a prey animal, but there are times (especially around certain predators) where I am acutely aware of my place as a small part of the ecosystem.

Fellow small herbivores/prey, when passing past a large dog or whatever seems like a predator to you, do you sometimes get a phantom sensation of said predator biting into you and carrying you in their mouths? Makes me wary to walk too close to large dogs at times, and zoos not to mention.

I can almost feel the teeth in my abdomen and gravity working against me, takes me by surprise most of the time.

I'm lucky i'm a lot larger than most members of my species but instinct doesn't know that; what if the dog sees through the disguise and rushes at me? (takes a step back)

definitely feeling like a ball python lately. I just want to curl up in a ball and hide away from the world.

relationships are so weird sometimes cause like, my friends were discussing how girls are hot and im just over here like “anyone wanna hear me recite stay calm from memory?”

Personally I call it the veil or glamour, but I like visage/aspect as well!

Little off topic but glamour has special significance to me since it describes the magic of the fae. Fairies are often described as “wearing” a glamour to hide their true form. For me this means I am charmed to look like a human being even though I am not one.

Offering a term to fellow physical nonhumans* for more natural sounding language/ease of explanation:

The/a visage OR aspect.

What you might see or others see of you even if it isn't actually what's really there.

These are preexisting words that are practically synonymous - visage is defined as being synonymous to aspect which literally means the "appearance to the eye or mind."

So I can say I am physically nonhuman, but my aspect or visage is human - humans see me as a fellow human because they simply are not calibrated to perceive otherwise. My aspect/visage isn't actually me.

*I guess you could use this as a non-physical nonhuman but if you acknowledge your physical humanity I'm not sure where it would fit? Oh well, I don't gatekeep the English language, LOL.

there’s a lot of odd things humans do, but right now I’m very hung up on parades. I do not understand them whatsoever??? they are gaudy and overwhelming and very very strange to me

Update on this post: I told her! It went really well!

She still doesn’t really understand, but she accepts me and is open to the idea of nonhumans. I was pretty surprised by her reaction since I know she’s been confused about therians in the past, but I was able to educate and explain some stuff to her. So it’s a win!! =3

Creatures who have told their IRLs your nonhuman identity: how did it go? I’m currently considering telling my partner, but I’m just curious about other’s experiences!

(We have a really good relationship and I’ve already explained that I’m more of a snake than a human, but I want to tell her more about the alterhuman community in general.)

I WANT SOME NON HUMAN FRIENDS AAA

(reblog if you want to be friends/moots, or even talk!! <Dm me if you want to talk :3>)