Still Love Me?

Pairing: Gavin Reed x FTM Trans Reader

this was a request- i forgot there name already im so sorry- it was something about lance- ill put it in the notes later-

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I Sat alone, in the living room. I had been thinking for weeks, i had gotten surgery a week ago. I hadnt gotten top surgery yet, maybe a could hide it until i got top surgerery. Yeah ill hide it tl then. i didnt know how gavin would react, i didnt even tell him was getting surgery. he just thought i was playing hard to get. i let him think that. i was too nervous.

I was too scared to tell him, i couldnt risk anything yet. i plopped down onto the couch, face first. sighing.

The door knob began to jiggle as i heard someone unlocking it, most likley gavin, i began to panic, i did not have pants on, in an attempt to be comfortable. i ran to the bedroom, quickly getting some skinny jeans on. cursing at myself.

"Hey Darling, guess whos home?"

"oh! hey gavin honey!

"you sound on edge? whats wrong?"

"nothing, honey"

i wanted to cry, break down and sob into his shoulder and talk about how nervous and scared i was. but i couldnt. i couldnt bring myself to it. i had no courage. Im so scared. I had to hold myself back from breaking down. walking down back into the living room. he was in the kitchen so i just waited in the living room, maybe i should tell him. stop being a coward.

but he walked out from the kitchen, sippng his coffee. and all that confidence disappeared.

I couldnt do it, he'd hate me. i dont even know how he'd react but i know itd be bad. so i kept quiet some more. i couldnt, just couldnt, the way he looked at me, a soft smirk on his face or a sincere smile. i was afraid to lose him. i was afraid to lose that special relatonship, being known as the person who could make him sincerely smile and no one else can.

"wanna coffee?"

"gavin, you know im attempting to diet right?"

"oh whats a little coffee gonna be?"

"alot of health problems"

"not really darling"

"yes really, hon"

He snickered, god i loved him. yet im too much of a coward to even tell him something that could affect our relationship. He went to sit next to me. Smiling at me. and i broke. i began to cry, cuddling up to him, he wrapped his arms around me. rubbing circles in my back. he may be an asshole sometimes. but hes caring, really.

"Whats wrong, darling?"

"Im so sorry, im so sorry, im so so sorry gavin"

"what are you sorry about?"

"Im sorry i shouldve told you when i first did it, im trans, gavin, i got surgery last week."

"oh, darling..why didnt you tell me sooner?"

"..i thought you would hate me.."

"i could never hate you, sure i may be an asshole sometimes, but i could never hate you."

"i love you, gavin.."

"I love you too, Y/N"

and with that, we passed over the subject quite quickly. getting over it. after like, 20 minutes. we cuddled up into a blanket and watched cheesy cop movies from 7-10 years ago. all night. fluffy blankets huddled around us and coffee on the side table along with rings from not having coasters, we cuddled until we fell asleep.

If anyone is willing to give criticism and advice on how I should continue to write my book, (I'm only on chapter three) its only my first book, and I can send you a link to it, DM me if interested, first read below

Preferably you were over 18 or don't get affected by blood and gore, or non-consentual topics, or any graphic material.

I'd like someone familiar with horror and who is good at giving criticism. Not hate, criticism.

That's really all, I don't know how to be professional dudes-

inbox is still open, i forgot it existed, cause im a stupid, aND I WRITE SANDER SIDES NOW

my favorite is deceit if anyone cared.

because i love snakes and characters that half the fandom finds more evil then stepping on a lego and then the other half is like "aw yiss look at my baby boi"

ive known sander sides for like, ever

but when naming what i write it slipped from my mind

it gets its own post now.

good for it.

again, i write anything, and im experiencing writers block a bit, so im trying to do some warm-up stories and see if that spikes my creativity to gET OUT OF ITS HECKING ROOM- before i do this one story that literally had such a specifient prompt and i feel like it i get anything wrong i will burn in hell for it, and also i have no insporation for it

welcome to me trying to write crossovers.

all characters welcome, yes. including Emile and Remy

and all ships

i cant choose a f a v o r i t e- there all so g o o d-

X READERS TOO-

i hate posting shit on my other account on accident

when you wanna write Supernatural fic but know you have another request to do and are afraid your gonna dissapoint the entire fandom

“Well.”

“Fuck-”

15 notes View Post

detroitbecomeralph

6 years ago

Ralph: "ralph wasnt aware what he was doing was murder"

Kara: "ralph you slit his throat like 5 times! how do you even do that!?"

Ralph: "ralph thought that was strawberry jelly"

100 Reasons NOT To Kill Yourself

1. We would miss you. 2. It’s not worth the regret. Either by yourself if you failed or just simply left scars, or the regret everyone else feels by not doing enough to help you. 3. It does get better. Believe it or not it will eventually get better. Sometimes you have to go through the storm to get to the rainbow. 4. There’s so much you would miss out on doing. 5. There is always a reason to live. It might not be clear right now, but it is always there. 6. So many people care, and it would hurt them if you hurt yourself. 7. You ARE worth it. Don’t let anyone, especially yourself, tell you otherwise. 8. You are amazing. 9. A time will come, once you’ve battled the toughest times of your life and are in ease once again, where you will be so glad that you decided to keep on living. You will emerge stronger from this all, and won’t regret your choice to carry on with life. Because things always get better. 10. What about all the things you’ve always wanted to do? What about the things you’ve planned, but never got around to doing? You can’t do them when you’re dead. 11. I love you. Even if only one person loves you, that’s still a reason to stay alive. 12. You won’t be able to listen to music if you die. 13. Killing yourself is never worth it. You’ll hurt both yourself and all the people you care about. 14. There are so many people that would miss you, including me. 15. You’re preventing a future generation, YOUR KIDS, from even being born. 16. How do you think your family would feel? Would it improve their lives if you died? 17. You’re gorgeous, amazing, and to someone you are perfect. 18. Think about your favourite music artist, you’ll never hear their voice again… 19. You’ll never have the feeling of walking into a warm building on a cold day 20. Listening to incredibly loud music 21. Being alive is just really good. 22. Not being alive is really bad. 23. Finding your soulmate. 24. Red pandas 25. Going to diners at three in the morning. 26. Really soft pillows. 27. Eating pizza in New York City. 28. Proving people wrong with your success. 29. Watching the jerks that doubted you fail at life. 30. Seeing someone trip over a garbage can. 31. Being able to help other people. 32. Bonfires. 33. Sitting on rooftops. 34. Seeing every single country in the world. 35. Going on roadtrips. 36. You might win the lottery someday. 37. Listening to music on a record player. 38. Going to the top of the Eiffel Tower. 39. Taking really cool pictures. 40. Literally meeting thousands of new people. 41. Hearing crazy stories. 42. Telling crazy stories. 43. Eating ice cream on a hot day. 44. More Harry Potter books could come out, you never know. 45. Travelling to another planet someday. 46. Having an underwater house. 47. Randomly running into your hero on the street. 48. Having your own room at a fancy hotel. 49. Trampolines. 50. Think about your favourite movie, you’ll never watch it again. 51. Think about the feeling of laughing out loud in a public place because your best friend has just sent you an inside joke, 52. Your survival will make the world better, even if it’s for just one person or 20 or 100 or more. 53. People do care. 54. Treehouses 55. Hanging out with your soul mate in a treehouse 55. Snorting when you laugh and not caring who sees 56. I don’t even know you and I love you. 57. I don’t even know you and I care about you. 58. Because nobody is going to be like you ever, so embrace your uniqueness! 59. You won’t be here to experience the first cat world emperor. 60. WHAT ABOUT FOOD?! YOU’LL MISS CHOCOLATE AND ALL THE OTHER NOM THINGS! 61. Starbucks. 62. Hugs. 63. Stargazing. 64. You have a purpose, and it’s up to you to find out what it is. 65. You’ve changed somebody’s life. 66. Now you could change the world. 67. You will meet the person that’s perfect for you. 68. No matter how much or how little, you have your life ahead of you. 69. You have the chance to save somebody’s life. 70. If you end your life, you’re stopping yourself from achieving great things. 71. Making snow angels. 72. Making snowmen. 73. Snowball fights. 74. Life is what you make of it. 75. Everybody has a talent. 76. Laughing until you cry. 77. Having the ability to be sad means you have the ability to be happy. 78. The world would not be the same if you didn’t exist. 79. Its possible to turn frowns, upside down 80. Be yourself, don’t take anyone’s shit, and never let them take you alive. 81. Heroes are ordinary people who make themselves extraordinary. Be your own hero. 82. Being happy doesn’t mean that everything is perfect. It means that you’ve decided to look beyond the imperfections. 83. One day your smile will be real. 84. Having a really hot, relaxing bath after a stressful day. 85. Lying on grass and laughing at the clouds. 86. Getting completely smashed with your best friends. 87. Eating crazy food. 88. Staying up all night watching your favourite films with a loved one. 89. Sleeping in all day. 90. Creating something you’re proud of. 91. You can look back on yourself 70 years later and being proud you didn’t commit 92. Being able to meet your Internet friends. 93. Tea / Coffee / Hot Chocolate 94. Sherlock season three. 95. Cuddling under the stars. 96. Being stupid in public because you just can. 97. If you are reading this then you are alive! Is there any more reason to smile? 98. being able to hug that one person you havent seen in years 99. People care enough about you and your future to come up with 100 reasons for you not to do this. 100. But, the final and most important one is, just, being able to experience life. Because even if your life doesn’t seem so great right now, literally anything could happen

IF that isn’t enough:

Depression Hotline: 1-630-482-9696 Suicide Hotline: 1-800-784-8433 LifeLine: 1-800-273-8255 Trevor Project: 1-866-488-7386 Sexuality Support: 1-800-246-7743 Eating Disorders Hotline: 1-847-831-3438 Rape and Sexual Assault: 1-800-656-4673 Grief Support: 1-650-321-5272 Runaway: 1-800-843-5200, 1-800-843-5678, 1-800-621-4000 Exhale: After Abortion Hotline/Pro-Voice: 1-866-4394253 Child Abuse: 1-800-422-4453 UK Helplines: Samaritans (for any problem): 08457909090 e-mail jo@samaritans.org Childline (for anyone under 18 with any problem): 08001111 Mind infoline (mental health information): 0300 123 3393 e-mail: info@mind.org.uk Mind legal advice (for people who need mental-health related legal advice): 0300 466 6463 legal@mind.org.uk b-eat eating disorder support: 0845 634 14 14 (only open Mon-Fri 10.30am-8.30pm and Saturday 1pm-4.30pm) e-mail: help@b-eat.co.uk b-eat youthline (for under 25’s with eating disorders): 08456347650 (open Mon-Fri 4.30pm - 8.30pm, Saturday 1pm-4.30pm) Cruse Bereavement Care: 08444779400 e-mail: helpline@cruse.org.uk Frank (information and advice on drugs): 0800776600 Drinkline: 0800 9178282 Rape Crisis England & Wales: 0808 802 9999 1(open 2 - 2.30pm 7 - 9.30pm) e-mail info@rapecrisis.org.uk Rape Crisis Scotland: 08088 01 03 02 every day, 6pm to midnight India Self Harm Hotline: 00 08001006614 India Suicide Helpline: 022-27546669 Kids Help Phone (Canada): 1-800-668-6868, Free and available 24/7 suicide hotlines; Argentina: 54-0223-493-0430 Australia: 13-11-14 Austria: 01-713-3374 Barbados: 429-9999 Belgium: 106 Botswana: 391-1270 Brazil: 21-233-9191 China: 852-2382-0000 (Hong Kong: 2389-2222) Costa Rica: 606-253-5439 Croatia: 01-4833-888 Cyprus: 357-77-77-72-67 Czech Republic: 222-580-697, 476-701-908 Denmark: 70-201-201 Egypt: 762-1602 Estonia: 6-558-088 Finland: 040-5032199 France: 01-45-39-4000 Germany: 0800-181-0721 Greece: 1018 Guatemala: 502-234-1239 Holland: 0900-0767 Honduras: 504-237-3623 Hungary: 06-80-820-111 Iceland: 44-0-8457-90-90-90 Ireland: 1800-247-100 Israel: 09-8892333 Italy: 06-705-4444 Japan: 3-5286-9090 Latvia: 6722-2922, 2772-2292 Malaysia: 03-756-8144 (Singapore: 1-800-221-4444) Mexico: 525-510-2550 Netherlands: 0900-0767 New Zealand: 4-473-9739 New Guinea: 675-326-0011 Nicaragua: 505-268-6171 Norway: 47-815-33-300 Philippines: 02-896-9191 Poland: 52-70-000 Portugal: 239-72-10-10 Russia: 8-20-222-82-10 Serbia: 21-6623-393 Spain: 91-459-00-50 South Africa: 0861-322-322 South Korea: 2-715-8600 Sweden: 031-711-2400 Switzerland: 143 Taiwan: 0800-788-995 Thailand: 02-249-9977 Trinidad and Tobago: 868-645-2800 Ukraine: 0487-327715 Uruguay: 095 73 8483 You will be missing out on every single wonderful thing yet to happen to you.

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