Emotions Are My Teachers

The picture with the curves you drew

Over time I learned to deal with difficult feelings like loneliness, fear and hopelessness. That doesn't mean they've lost their horror for me. It means a lot more, they're familiar to me. I can face them differently.

I find the loss of strength much more serious. Dealing with the inner emptiness is already a challenge for me. To still go further, to raise me up again and again. Without energy, even that becomes a farce. When simple daily routines exhaust me, the fear grows that I will not be able to get up again at some point.

Some people love themselves so little that they cannot understand when someone else loves them

Experience is Wisdom

Shame is often the companion of weakness, because lying on the floor it is difficult to preserve dignity. Suddenly I sense how others have to feel at such moments. You want understanding, not advice. For a long time, I was just looking at the nice feelings. I want to walk through life in a good mood. What am I supposed to do with sadness and fear? I denied myself and my feelings.

Depression can be a fresh start. By learning to feel myself better again, I can change the direction of my life. Maybe more humility is called for again. Maybe I can stop and ask myself what really matters.

Everyday life is a reality that is consciously dreamed every day - a waking dream, a clear dream. The ego that acts in this external sphere is hardly ever the initiator of its actions. And people whose sphere of activity is narrowed and limited tend to have depressing dreams.

What are your three favourite bands? (I know it's hard to choose but at least to have an idea)

I think I have a very unusual taste in music.It's a bit hard to answer, because I don't commit myself to a band or music genre, but rather to individual songs. It depends on the mood I'm in.Flight Facilities, Flume and Metronomy are worth a shot though.

Responsibility

As long as I do not take full responsibility for myself, I will continue to wander the world, hoping to find my happiness somewhere. But where should I look if not in me? The avoidance and evasion of unpleasant feelings increasingly reduces one's own room for maneuver. Running away cannot be a permanent solution.

Where does this emptiness come from? What can I do to make myself feel better? How long will the darkness last? The difficult thing about depression is that there is often no satisfactory answer. At least not fast. But how do I encounter something that has no reference? No beginning, no end?

Being on the ground also has something soothing about it. I can't get any lower. The play is over. I don't have to fool myself anymore. It's hard for me to see myself weak. Suddenly, I'm not the one who's there for others anymore. I need to ask for help. Being vulnerable is unusual to me.

If a girl/boy you liked was mentally ill, would you still want her/him as your gf/bf?

Yes, of course I will/would still love you/her/him.Sometimes it's just difficult to show my love because in those moments when you're/he’s/she’s splitting on me, I don't know how to behave towards you/her/him, so that it's not uncomfortable for you/her/him.I(’d) still love you the same, I just don’t know how to express it in those moments.