This. Become My Best Friend And Room Mate While I Adore You And Love Doing Your Chores.

This. Become my best friend and room mate while I adore you and love doing your chores.

When a girl undresses in front of you, she’s either really into you, or you’ve been level 99 friendzoned.

Dating a fuckpig

I’m tired of “dating” men. I think that before I accept another date, I need to send them the link to my tumblr page, so that they know how to treat me. I don’t want anyone wasting time or money on me, when it’s really not necessary. So, here are some guidelines for taking me out. 1. Don’t be on time to pick me up. In fact, don’t even come to the door. Arrive ten minutes late, park around the corner and text me when I should meet up with you. 2. Don’t compliment me. Yes, I spent a long time to look beautiful for you, I went to a lot of effort to make every detail perfect. However, you shouldn’t have to bother telling me anything. I’m needy and pathetic, and when you don’t tell me that I’m sexy, it makes me want to work harder to get you to feel that way. 3. Don’t buy me a drink. I’ve got a good job, I’ve got my own money, make me buy my own fucking drinks. The only time you should ever bother getting me a drink, is if you want to slip me something in it. 4. Don’t buy me dinner. I’ll have been starving myself so that you’ll fuck me in the ass. I’ll also want to have an empty stomach for when you’re having me gag on your cock. 5. If you get a boner, you should cum. Use any of my holes, or take a hand job, but don’t let an erection go to waste. 6. Speaking of waste, your time and your desires are important and should not be wasted. Anything that you want, is on the table. Don’t worry about offending me, just take whatever you want. Yes, I’ll do anal on the first date, I’ll go ass to mouth, I’ll eat out your asshole, I’ll drink your piss….I’ll fulfill any sexual desire, because I’m a worthless cock sleeve and I need to be debased in order to exist. 7. Actually, don’t refer to any time that you spend using me as a “date”.You’re just going to use me and forget about me until you need to empty your balls again. I’m good with that, so please don’t care about me. 8. Don’t open my door, don’t ask me about my day, don’t treat me with respect, and don’t show me any kindness at all. I’m a slab of fuck meat, and should be treated as such. 9.Never, ever, EVER apologize for anything. I’m meant to be used hard, and there’s nothing you can do that would ever require you saying that you’re sorry to me. 10. If you don’t agree with these suggestions, please move on to another cunt