What If Chay Moves On Healthily Because No Matter The Reason , Kim's Actions Were Shitty? Ok How About

What if Chay moves on healthily because no matter the reason , Kim's actions were shitty? Ok how about if Chay goes to therapy to deal with the "murder cat leaving bodies in the bar" incident , and talks and figures out his shit with a mafia approved therapist (I'm looking right at you , the person who wrote the ff) , and she is adamant about boundaries and respect , trust and basic needs in a relationship ??

And Chay , being the good boy that he is , listens. And understands. And actively works towards bettering his mind . He understands what Kim did is wrong on many levels and also that he should never settle for less , that he should never throw himself away , or be sad over other people and their horrible behaviour.

And he rediscovers his passion for music , goes to the very same college , and focuses on his life.

Gets an internship, moves to the US , where they specifically ask him to stay because they'd love to have him full term. And he builds his own life there , Vegas and Arm keep him off the radar , and he lives his life almost normal. No involvement with the mafia on a surface level.

Porsche though , still cursing himself for undermining Chay's safety during the coup , makes him take self defence lessons. Which quickly progress to advanced defensive tatics, much to Porsche's shocked surprise. Porchay has particular penchant for throwing knives . He's been trying with axes these days , more damage and incapacitating, Chay says on facetime to a proud but worried Porsche .

Kim doesn't know about any of these. Any information he craves about Porchay would have to come from Tankhun , Kinn or Porsche , and it's not like he's on speaking terms with any of them . He could visit Tankhun and fish for gossip , but even he seemed very tight lipped about Chay and his US college life .

Had Chay asked them all to keep it quiet? Kim did try to track the transactions and Chay's daily bodyguard tail info. Even that was so heavily underground that the only thing he could be sure about was that Chay was alive . Was Chay ordering it be this way??

Till one day , Kim realises that the ever present tightness in his chest , the heartache when he hears Chay's old studio recordings , videos they filmed together and even the major family cctv footage from before he left , is all Kim has left of his love. Because yes , Kim did love Chay , and he was too much of a coward to say it openly ,to even admit to himself and now he wants to say it out loud to the entire world , but there's no one to hear it.

Meanwhile Chay only ever thinks about Kim in anger and hate over what he did , and pity for Kim's supposed reasons , but also derision at the fear those reasons were trying to hide. Only ever thinks about him when his music is on his mind , but that music no longer making the bridge towards love .

And after two years when he returns , Chay is Porchay Pichaya Kittisawad , a man who has lived content with his friends and lovers , grown into his role as the minor family heir : with eyes that could melt hearts and hands that could stop them.

Kim doesn't even get notified when Chay returns , and the news is unceremoniously dumped on him five minutes before Porchay is walking into the ballroom clad in his pristine navy suit, fluid even in his stillness , joking with Porsche and Kinn , looking every part the heir , that Kim suddenly fell short. He used to be the mysterious heir , who everyone gravitated towards. Noone was looking at him anymore. While the years made him grumpy and unapproachable , the same seemed to have bettered Chay , like the finest of wine.

He even looked different. No more the stumbling shy blushing kid , he stood tall , taller than Porsche , and was making smalltalk with the snakes who Kim had threatened for trying to monopolise the profits last month , with the air of a prince meeting his long lost distant relatives.

The more Kim watched him , the more his confidence shrunk. Maybe he could make himself known after a few guests leave.

Porchay caught his eye at that exact moment , stopped and stared , then smiled at him and raised his glass.

Kim bowed his head slightly and turned away. He had lost track of whatever conversation he was pretending to be a part of.

He had to excuse himself to the bathroom to get his bearings and there , the gilded mirror pointed out the unwelcome red dusting his cheeks. His eyes looked overly bright and he looked like he'd run a mile.

Had Porchay forgotten everything?? The silent touches , the night spend cuddling , the days spent making music together , did they mean nothing to him anymore?? Maybe he doesn't want his brothers to notice anything. Of course he definitely hasn't told anyone anything because Kim would've known from Porsche , for sure, if he had.

Maybe Porchay wanted to keep things on the down low. Maybe they'll talk after the guests leave and he'd slip back into the old comfortable familiarity. Right now ,he was anything but familiar. And it didn't feel comfortable when Porchay looked at him so casually.

There was no longer that twinkle in his eyes for Kim , that used to be only reserved for him.

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Porchay was lounging on the couch by the kitchen , drinking juice straight out of the carton , Porsche sitting with his feet on his lap and torso supported on Kinn's when Kim entered. Tankhun was taking the other couch all to himself while paying strict attention to whatever Porsche was saying. They looked every bit the picture of family , that Kim suddenly felt like *he* was the outsider.

That he was the one who was introduced into this less than 3 years ago , and he was the one who had went away for two of them .

When his entry caught everyone's attention , tankhun patted the seat next to him and offered him a smile , which Kim returned while he lowered himself by his brother's side. He could easily fall into the conversation that resumed, about music , business , gossip they'd missed , bodyguards who joined , vegas, pete and macau and even little Venice.

After they all left tired to their rooms , Kim wondered if Chay would pay him a visit that night. He couldn't sleep till sunrise , but Chay still didn't show up.