Im.fucked. I'm Fucking Fucked.

“I feel like a loser without any future

cut open my head

and rip out the tumor

you make me wanna fucking end it sooner

let me respawn like a first person shooter”

i don't think you get just how much I need A back. i needy my lover back.. I need him to come back. i need to feel okay again. i need him.

i only hope that you never find me.

i don't know what's going on anymore, I'm just gonna blackout until the 12th

i have always been fat. even as a kid. I've never known to see myself skinny or bones at all. i literally cannot imagine how I'd look skinny. and I fucking hate it. the issues should have been worse when I was younger, maybe that would've fucked my brain more and I could have done something right with my life.

“you could’ve just asked for my attention” you dont! get it!!!! its not the same!!

why do I barely bleed. I hit deep styros again (wouldn't say baby beans even though I think I saw a few)

and it's barely bleeding or dripping. why does this happens with all my cuts.

How are you supposed to just get up and go to school and go to work and come home and make dinner and fold the laundry and not want to kill yourself the whole fucking time.

that sounds so bad. im sorry I just want a place to bee without having a feeling of constantly being watched and perceived. I'm sorry I just want a place to ramble and vent and whatever. oh god I feel bad I'm bad I'm bad I'm a liar i feel like a liar